after the first fight, i came back to you.
after the second fight, i came back to you.
after the 3rd fight, i came back to you.
every single time we fight you always say that i make you sob, that i was your everything, and that i tore you to shreds. if i really was your everything, why didn’t you come back? you were MY everything, that’s why I came back. you are so unbelievably toxic in a way that makes me come back to you. you act like you’re above it all, but you’re not. you know you’re not. and i hate that i think about you almost every single day even after 3 months. but you don’t think about me. because contrary to your belief, you were my everything, but i wasn’t yours.
i want you to understand why i left, even though you were the world to me. your deteriorating mental health started to deteriorate mine. i had become cranky because i knew that the friendship i had with you was not something i wanted to have. but i was holding onto the few good memories we had when all that meant in the world was you and me. you acted different around other people, and i was starting to wonder if how you were acting with me was fake. i didn’t like your friends, and you knew it. so to make up for that, you talked about them constantly, and i wondered if you talked about me constantly too. it was so difficult to leave because you knew literally everything about me. you were the person that knew me for me, not for some fake persona. i was scared that you would tell the whole world the bad parts of me, so i stayed. but i couldn’t handle it. my mental state was not well, and you knew it. but you just kept expecting so much out of me that i cracked. i lashed out, and i cut you off.
i still check your socials every day, seeing ehat you’re up to. we still talk now and then, and i can tell you’re playing the victim and villanizing me for the things i said, when the things you said were equally as bad. i have taken responsibility of my actions, but you still haven’t. i want you to understand that what forced me to leave was you. i don’t think you realize how needy you are, and this is your wake up call.
you’ll probably never see this. but if you do, i don’t miss you, just the thought of you. and frankly, i don’t wanna go back to being friends. i miss the idea of being eachothers number ones.
i know you don’t miss me, i just want you to know what you did to me mentally, even though you seem to think i did the most damage to you, i didn’t. you know how i know, cuz i still think of you every single day. that shows that you were my everything, and i wasn’t yours.
