I WATCHED DEADPOOL FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME AND WROTE THIS YEET
Many people see Tyler as some sort of villain when really, Tyler’s nowhere near being a bad guy. He’s a guy who commits murder, sure, but those people deserved it. Besides, people would never fund their community if they didn’t expect their requests to get a little dirty.
When Tyler walked into The HeadQuarters Inc. earlier that day, David was there, working the front desk.
“Nogla, you fuck! You don’t know how to use a cellphone anymore?” Tyler greeted, slapping the other’s palm in their overused handshake.
David laughed, “I’ve been busy, man. Evan put me on front-desk duty ever since Nanners left.”
David shrugged, looking down at his computer screen. “Somewhere in India.”
Now, before you even begin to question whether these guys are good or bad, they’re neither. They’re just bad guys taking care of even worse guys, kind of like a gang, except don’t ever call them a gang to their face.
“Man, that fuckin’ sucks,” Tyler groaned, “Evan’s a cool dude, but he should not be the one in charge.”
David shrugged again, typing something on the keyboard.
“He’s got a mission for you,” Nogla said, eyes roaming the computer screen, “It doesn’t look so good. Somethin’ about an aggravated teen and threatening manners.”
“Goddammit,” Tyler muttered, “Why am I always stuck with the aggravated assholes?”
“Maybe because you are an aggravated asshole,” Nogla responded jokingly. Tyler flipped him off before walking down the hallway to the door that read “A. Montoya: Director,” in bold letters.
“Don’t you ever sit in your own office anymore?” Tyler asked as soon as he opened the door to see Evan roaming through files.
Evan looked over towards Tyler in surprise as if he was not expected. He looked back down at the open cabinet drawer. Continuing his rummage, he responded, “Adam is still away, and he expects us to work as if he’d never left.”
“Right,” Tyler agreed, “but you don’t have to sit in his office like some damn obsessor.”
Evan sighed, pulling out a manila folder, “Tyler, not now. Here.” He held out the folder in Tyler’s direction.
“Is this my mission?” Tyler inquired, taking the folder and scanning through it.
“Nanners wants you to take care of some business, so you’re gonna take care of some business.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tyler muttered, sitting down in the leather chair in front of a wooden desk. He scattered the information from the folder on the surface.
It stated information about three boys. Two of them were fifteen, and the other was eighteen. They have caused many disturbances and aggravated assaults. A man by the name of Scott Robison seemed to have had enough and was the one who called their phone line.
Evan had moved from the filing cabinet to Nanners’ desk. He was sitting in the rolling leather computer chair with the phone pressed to his ear.
“Nogla, can you connect me to Marcel’s cell number, please?” Tyler could hear David’s muffled voice before Evan said a soft “thank you." He hung up the receiver before picking it back up and pressing the ‘Line One′ button.
He shooed Tyler out of sight before saying into the receiver, “Marcel, hey, how’d that mission go?”
Tyler exited the room, shutting the door behind him, and tucked the folder under his arm. He made his way downstairs to his cubicle. His cubicle is right next to Brock’s. When they moved next to each other, he told Tyler they were “cubicle neighbors," and then Tyler threatened to murder him in his sleep if he ever said that to him again.
“Hey!” Jonathan, in the cubicle on the other side of Tyler, greeted him.
“Hey, Jon, how’s it going?” Tyler greeted back, giving him the same handshake as he did to Nogla earlier.
“Same old, same old,” Jonathan answered, “Did you get a call?”
“Shit, dude!” Jon laughed, “wish you the best.”
“Thanks,” Tyler responded, sitting in his rolling chair and picking up his receiver. He dialed the number listed in the folder.
Tyler made his way up to apartment C36 where Scott said one of the boys was staying. He knocked on the door and was rewarded with these beautiful dark green eyes--cue the sappy romantic music.
This man definitely caught Tyler’s attention, and not just from his eyes gazing at him in curiosity through the lens of his glasses. He had a bright smile, was really small in height compared to himself, and it didn’t help Tyler at all that he happened to answer the door in a tight, thin tee-shirt.
“Can I help you?” the stranger’s voice rang through Tyler’s mind and he was knocked from his thoughts.
“Uh, yeah. Is Devin here?”
“Nah, he’s in the next apartment over,” the man said pointing to his right, “C35.”
“Thanks,” Tyler said, and the man flashed him another bright smile before saying his goodbyes and shutting the door. Tyler sighed at the loss and made his way next door.
His fist came in contact with the door and a blonde girl answered, a thin sheet covering her body. She furrowed her eyebrows before turning her head and calling, “Devin! There’s someone at the door!”
Tyler gave her a polite smile as a brunet boy came into view. He was slipping on his shirt and his hair was sticking up all over the place.
“Yes?” the boy asked and the girl left, presumably going to put on some clothes.
“You must be Devin,” Tyler responded, holding out his hand, “I’m Tyler.”
The boy was confused, but he held out his hand nonetheless. “How do you know my name?”
“I have my sources. Anyways, listen, can I come in? Only for a second,” Tyler asked considerately. The boy nodded hesitantly and moved away from the door.
“Say, you don’t happen to know Scott Robison. do you?”
“Y-Yes, I do,” the boy answered, confused, “What’s this about?”
“Well, you see, you and you friends have been fuckin’ with Scott, and frankly, I’m not okay with that,” Tyler subdued, bringing out his knife that was tucked in his belt. Devin gasped in horror and quickly put his hands above his head in surrender.
“Hey, hey, I’m not gonna hurt you just yet. That’s only if you misbehave,” Tyler soothed, waving his knife around in gesture, “You’re not gonna mess with Scott, or anyone else for that matter, again, right?”
“Y-Yes,” came from the boy shakily as he bowed his head.
“Um, I’m sorry,” Tyler said, bringing his knife awfully close to Devin’s face, “I’m afraid I couldn’t hear you, could you repeat that?”
“Yes!” Devin shouted, almost sobbing in fear, “I’ll leave him and everyone else alone! Just take whatever you want and leave!”
Tyler grinned victoriously. “Thatta boy.” Devin let out a breath of relief as Tyler placed the knife back down to his side. However, Tyler acted fast, slamming the knife into the wall right next to Devin’s head. Devin squeezed his eyes shut and flinched as Tyler got into his personal space. “Don’t make me come back,” Tyler growled before pulling himself back, along with the knife in the wall, and took a photobooth-styled picture of Devin and two other boys. Tyler smiled in Devin’s direction as he slipped the picture in his jacket pocket.
“Better finish what you started with the blondie. She’s prolly’ not liking that you two were interrupted.” Tyler winked before exiting the apartment and calling Scott’s number on his cell.
After Tyler finished the deed, which involved scaring the other two kids involved, he found himself thinking about that green-eyed beauty, so he did what any typical bad guy would do: drive to man’s apartment and break into it.
He figured the guy was asleep since it was after midnight, and he didn’t have to be back to HeadQuarters, Inc. until he was called in again, so why not?
Tyler made it up to the third floor of the building, making his way down the hall before coming to a stop at C36. He turned the knob, finding that it was indeed locked before he crouched, taking out a paper clip he kept, in case he had to break into one of the accused’s apartments. He bent it until it was no longer a paper clip and stuck it into the lock. He twisted the lock and pushed the door open slowly, not wanting to disturb the man.
He made his way into the apartment, shutting the door silently before letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. The room was only lit up by a lamp, which was enough for Tyler, considering he was only there for one thing. He heard eardrum-shattering singing and the sound of water rushing coming from the bathroom, so he knew the man wasn’t anywhere in sight. Tyler smirked, slowly walking to the bathroom, letting himself get distracted by the photographed pictures of the man and some others.
He picked up some mail off the table. They were addressed to a Craig Thompson with the address of this apartment building, so he assumed that was his person of interest’s name. The singing from the shower stopped, and Tyler heard the water cut off. Tyler placed the mail back down on the table and turned towards the door.
Craig was whistling as he opened the bathroom door but abruptly stopped when he saw the tall familiar silhouette. “What the fuck!?” Craig shouted, holding the towel against his waist, “What are you doing in my apartment!?”
Tyler calmly walked closer. “Have you ever met someone and thought, ‘Wow, this person is the most beautiful creature on this whole planet?’”
Craig ignored him, rushing over to grab his cell phone off the kitchen counter but Tyler stopped him, holding his wrist in his hand, staring down at the man. He softly repeated, “Have you?” while gazing into the green orbs that were no longer covered by his lens.
“No,” Craig answered slowly, “I-I don’t understand what you’re doing here.”
“When you answered that door, I was intrigued, completely paralyzed by your beauty. Never have I ever seen a man with such flattering features in my life and I work with people girls flaunt over.”
Craig raised his eyebrows at his statement. He had no idea how to respond. Apparently, Tyler wasn’t waiting for that because he kept speaking.
“Craig--that is your name, right?” Craig nodded his head hesitantly, and Tyler continued, “Craig, I love my job, but I’d love it even more if I could come home to you.”
Craig blushed, looking away from Tyler’s gaze. “But how? You didn’t even know I existed two hours ago.”
“Time and attraction are two very different things,” Tyler answered, keeping Craig’s wrist in his hand.
“I don’t even know your name!” Craig protested and Tyler smiled, responding with, “I’m Tyler, it’s a pleasure to properly meet you.”
Craig was still confused. This man--a man who he did not know and literally just learned the name of--broke into his apartment, declaring how he was attracted to him. Craig had to admit that this guy was very attractive like attractive was an understatement. He was also really tall and towered over him.
Craig sighed, “I’m still very confused.”
Tyler leaned closer. “Well, let me clear this up for you. Swiftly, he pressed his lips on Craig’s, pressing the smaller man against the counter. Their lips moved in sync and Tyler swore he could stay like this forever. This man was so damn perfect, even in the way his lips moved against his own, and Tyler could not wait to ravish him.
