in which you’re bestfriend with Kyungsoo, and he called you muffin
(re-upload, ‘Muffin’, on AFF 2018)
“Have a nice day.” You said.
“I won’t.” he coldly replied.
You rolled your eyes and left his side to walk with Chen. “If only he could be nicer.” You mumbled and Chen chuckling beside you.
“Then what? You gonna date him if he’s nicer to you, muffin?” Chen teased you with the nickname you got from him.
“Ah, sorry, you have a boyfriend.”
Chen continue laughing while you grumbling. You’re waving your hand to your friend, “Wendy! Wait!”
You semi run towards Wendy leaving Chen and your grumpy childhood bestfriend, Kyungsoo.
“How’s the exam?” Wendy asked while sipping her slushie.
“Surprisingly good!” you grabbed her slushie and sip it. “Can’t believe I answered all the question.”
“Hey, ladies.” Wendy’s classmate, Suji greet you and her. You’re not very close to Suji but she’s a pretty and nice girl, “wanna go grab lunch?”
You remember you promised Kyungsoo to have lunch with him after he handed the paper, “I’ll skip, I’m going to have lunch with Kyungsoo later.”
“He’s your boyfriend? I’m in the same science class with him.” Suji said.
“No, no,” you gestured your hands like an X, “we’re just childhood friends.”
“She has a boyfriend.” Wendy pointed at you, “Lay, from Art major.”
“Oh, I see… and Lay’s gonna join you for lunch later?” Suji asked.
“Uhm, no… he got another paperworks… so…”
“And he’s fine with your relationship with Kyungsoo?”
“Of course,” you laughs, “they’re friends… I know Lay from Kyungsoo.”
You’re waiting for Kyungsoo at the College park and you saw him walking with Chen and Kai, “Dyo!” you called him by the nickname you gave him, it’s from his surename, Doh.
He turned to see you and nod, “what?”
“So what are we having for lunch?”
He raised his eyebrows a bit, “lunch? I just had lunch with them.” He pointed the two other boys.
“Well, I’m hungry after finishing the paper.” He said it calmly, “you haven’t eat? It’s almost 3 pm.”
“Because you—“ you harshly inhaled air and finally said, “yeah I haven’t eat, I’m just gonna grab whatever in the convinience store and eat it while walking home.”
You turned around and fished your cellphone from your bag and call your boyfriend.
“Hey, babe.” He answered.
“Where are you? I’m hungry, wanna go grab lunch?”
“I had one, you haven’t eat?”
“I can’t go anywhere now, I’m still working on my final project.” He said. “You good?”
“Yeah, I’m fine… bye…” you hung up and walking towards your house, it’s not close from the Campus but you feel like enjoying the nice weather.
You knew who’s voice it was but you keep walking.
“Where’s your lunch?” Kyungsoo jabbed your shoulders while panting after he ran after you.
“Huh?” he pull you to a small market and next thing you know you’re sitting in front of bibimbap stall and Kyungsoo already order one for you.
“Even tho I told you to have lunch with me, if you’re hungry then go eat by yourself first.” He said while mixing the rice for you.
“I’m unlike you,” you said, “if I promised something to someone, I’ll keep it.”
He laughs, showing his cute gummy, “good girl,” he patted you head, “now eat.”
You shove the spoon to your mouth and you know he’s watching you.
“Busy with final project.” You shortly replied.
“Neglected again~” he sang the last part just to make you pout.
You scoffed while busy chewing your food.
“Hey, I saw you talked to Suji before.”
You turned to see him with squinting eyes. Kyungsoo never asked about a girl like this before. “Yeah.”
“She’s pretty like cupcakes.” He said.
You rolled your eyes, you have a history about you nickname that related to Kyungsoo and cupcake.
“We’re at a same class.” He murmured.
“Yeah, she told me that—“
“What if you set me up with her?’
You almost choked on your food, “you… w-what? You like her??”
“Well,” he shrugged his shoulders, “she’s cute.”
“You don’t like cute girls!”
“And who are you deciding what kind of girls I like?” he mocked.
You munch your food slower, “so… you like Suji?”
“I don’t know yet… but I think she’s cute.” Kyungsoo chuckles.
it wasn’t a double date since you were on a date with Lay and you told Suji if she wants to join, and you saw a brighter smile when you mentioned that Kyungsoo might be there too.
Lay and Kyungsoo talked about games they were playing and Suji seems to enjoying the conversation and you can’t help but observing how Kyungsoo being gentle to Suji. He likes the girl. You knew.
Moreover when Kyungsoo offering to walk her home.
“How is it with her?” you asked Kyungsoo when you met him in front of your Campus gate.
“Come onn… you know whom I was talking about.” You took the cola from his hand.
“We talked a lot on the way home.”
He’s turning to see you, “I like her.”
“Muffin?” he stopped and turned his heels and stretched his arms out, “my cola.”
The following week you saw Suji’s social media when he posted her picture with Kyungsoo and the caption was: love.
“Oohh~ my Kyungsoo have a girlfriend~” you teased him when you met him later on at the subway station.
He smiles widely, something he rarely done. “we went out just us few more times before I told her if she wants to be my girl.”
“Tell me the details!!” you asked when he pull you to the train and he found you both seats.
“What details? We went out for a meal and on the way home I told her that I like her, she said yes.” He plug the earphones on his phone and scroll the music directory, press play to a song and offer the other end of the earphone to you.
You took it without saying anything, “you happy?”
He nodded, “told you, I like her.”
“Valentine’s coming, do we have plans?” you asked Lay.
“Of course.” He kissed your hair, “dinner?”
You nodded while looking at him designing something on his computer tablet, “I hate your projects.” You murmured.
“I’m jealous that you put more attention to them than to me.”
Lay clicked ‘save’ and put it down on the table, then he joined you on the bed, his bed, “you missed me, aren’t you?”
“I’ve told you that million times but you always said: my final project this, my final project that.” You pouts and he kiss the pout away.
“Let’s go on a date on val’s day. I’ll book a place for us.”
He said that but he was the one coming to you asking, “have you book a restaurant for us?”
You can’t help but furrowing your eyebrows.
“Hey, Soo.” Lay greets Kyungsoo who walks with you towards your class together.
“Me? Do I have to book it for us?” You raised your voice.
Lay looks confused, “yeah, no?”
“No.” You replied, “you said you’re gonna book a place for us, you told me that! Oh my God, Lay, I can’t believe—“
“You guys can join me and Suji.” Kyungso cuts you before you explode.
“Why would us??” you shout at him.
“Hey, babe, come on, we can join Kyungsoo and Suji… come on…” Lay tried to hug you.
“Yeah, me and Suji is gonna celebrate val’s day at the french restaurant down the street, it’s new, the place’s nice and the price is good, not gonna robbed us as student.” Kyungsoo explained.
“Let me go!” you escaped yourself from Lay and left them.
“Book another table for us, please.” Lay said to Kyungsoo and go after you.
You know you should’ve been mad to your boyfriend when he called you saying that he couldn’t make it to the val’s day dinner, but you really can’t because he said he’s stuck on train from Seokchon to Seoul due to heavy snow.
Then Kyungsoo came to your house. Alone.
“She has to go to the hospital.” He said.
He nods, “her little sister fell from bike and she has to be with her mom because her father is out of town.”
“Why don’t you come with her?” you asked.
Kyungsoo shook his head, “I haven’t being introduced formally to her parents.”
“Isn’t it the good time to be introduced to her mom at least?”
He shrugged his shoulders, “she said otherwise.”
You didn’t say anything for a while, looking at the bright winter afternoon, you two just sitting side by side on your house’s patio.
“Cold.” Kyungsoo murmured.
“Let’s just go to the restaurant.” Kyungsoo suggested, “I already made reservation, my reputation is at stake.”
You crinkle your nose, “you made two reservations, right?”
“Yeah, but the other one is under Lay’s name… just let the restaurant thinks that guy is irresponsible.”
It’s a set menu you got, pretty appetizers for each, steaks as the main course and one nice vanilla cake and ice cream as dessert for both of you to share.
Kyungsoo read a table tent that said something about special menu.
“Have you ever tried caviar?” he asked.
“Not yet, but I really want to try one… people said it’s amazing.”
“Who’s that people?” Kyungsoo raised one eyebrow.
“Uhm, some people on TV.”
He scoffed, “they give it for free as special val’s day menu.”
Kyungsoo showed you the promotion then you raised your hand to call a waiter.
“Yes, uhm, can I have one sweet potato crème fraiche caviar?” you said, and Kyungsoo silently cooing at how you pronounce a hard name.
“Yes,” You said, “it’s free, right?”
“Correct! It only have one super easy requirement to get that menu.”
You both raised your eyebrows, “requirement?”
“Just kiss your partner.”
“You don’t really want that caviar…” he said.
“I’m curious, and this actually a good chance I can taste that expensive shit…” you murmured, “but… well, damn you Lay Zhang!!” you cursed your MIA boyfriend, “where are you when I need you.”
“Okay let’s call that waiter and claim the caviar.” Kyungsoo said.
“What??” You saw him staring at you. “but the req—“
“Don’t act like we’re not each other’s first kiss.” He said just above whispers, and you’ll lie to yourself if you said you didn’t feel that bubble inside your chest.
“But that was…” you didn’t continue because hell, you were friends for ever with him and there’s no way you feel this way, and there’s no way he’s involving any extended feeling when he pick up that first kiss topic again.
Yes, you were each other’s first kiss, but that was because the 12 years old you and him were curious about how it feels when lips meet other lips, and it happened after you two watching a foreign TV series where the heroine kissing the love of her life.
“Have you ever kissed someone?” Kyungsoo asked one day when you both walked home after a piano lesson.
“Okay, never, but I know how to kiss.” You said.
You gestured your fingers, putting it together, “pout your lips and go forward and stick it to—“
“Stick it???” Kyungsoo flinched, “stick??”
You sulked and walked away while he was laughing.
“Stop calling me that!” you walked faster.
He ran after you and pull your shoulder, “let’s try.”
“Okay then be a lip-virgin forever.” Kyungsoo walked passing you.
“Huh?” you started to worry, will someone kissed you later? or you will be a lip-virgin forever. “Dyo! Wait!”
he turned around, “huh…?”
you stood right in front of him, and your height was similar to him, it was years before he suddenly grew much taller than you.
He was staring at you, and you can’t help but lowering your gaze. And when you’re looking at him again, he immediately avoiding you.
“So, w-what should I do first?” he asked.
“Just… uh…” you really can’t lift your gaze, suddenly he put his palm on your shoulder, and his feet move forward.
You lift your face and realised how close you were. Then you saw him started to close his eyes, and so do you, and after a long excruciating second, you’re finally feel something soft touching your lips.
His lips stayed there for another few second before detached them from yours. It was just a long innocent peck. But you and him were walking home in silence after that.
And no one talking about it again.
“Are we really… gonna…” you search for Kyungsoo’s ‘I’m just kidding’ but you saw his flat face.
“Yeah, why not.” He shrugged, “I never had caviar, you too, and the requirement is only kissing you… easy.”
“Easy?” you scoffed, “kissing me is easy?”
“Lay knew better I bet, but, come on, nothing to lose, we would only gain two crème fraiche caviar in roasted sweet potato.” He made a yummy gesture by kissing his thumb and index finger together.
Yeah, what would be so hard with kissing him, right?
“Okay.” You said and Kyungsoo casually raised his hand to call a waiter.
“Of course, just show me your love to your girl, sir.” The waiter smiles.
And Kyungsoo reached out to palmed your jaw, briefly caressing your cheek before lift his gaze to meet yours, and your brain start telling you that this isn’t right. You should stop him, you shouls say no, you should—
His face is getting closer, and closer, and he tilt his head.
He stop for one milisecond before capture your lips.
You gulp when he touches your lips.
And he move his lips between yours.
And you don’t know when and how but your hand is on his nape.
You pulled away and he’s startled. The waiter didn’t seem to notice because he’s smiling happily while preparing the caviar for both of you.
You couldn’t focus on whatever happened after the kiss. And the caviar that served tasted bland.
“You haven’t forgive me.” Lay sat across you in a fast food stall near your college.
“For stuck inside the train in the middle of the snow storm that made me unable to spent val’s day with you.”
“That was two weeks a go.” You continue your meal.
“Yeah, and you act so cold since then.” He tried to get you feed him.
“I’m fine, I’m always fine… even if you’re never there for me, I’m fine.” You fake a smile.
“See… you’re mad at me.” He sighs.
“Do you love me?” you stopped eating.
Lay stop trying to steal your food and looking at you instead, “that’s another way to say yes.”
“A lazy way to say yes.” You corrected him.
Lay shrugged his shoulder.
“You never said you love me, you choose lazy way to answer me when I asked if you ever love me. God…”
“This has nothing to do with my period, Lay, you’ve been so insensitive and deserting me a lot! And I’m tired of trying to understand you!”
“Whoa-whoa… wait, babe, when did I—“
“When? When, huh? It was when you always put you final project whatsoever first.”
“But that’s for my future!” he said.
“You’re being selfish.” Lay said.
“Oh…” you paused, “am I?”
“Okay, let’s put your future first…” you said, “go focus on your future first… and if we meant to be together, let’s meet in the future.”
“Let’s not see each other again as couple… let’s just be friends.”
You nodded, “I’m sorry for disturbing you from focusing on your future.”
You stood up and Lay also standing up, “I’m not kidding, Lay, I’m tired of this relationship where I was the only one trying to hold on the thin thread that connect us… I’m sorry, but I really can’t continue this.”
You didn’t cry on the first day you broke up with him, but cried the day after. However, it was a year full of him. Something is definitely missing.
And Kyungsoo, someone who suppose to be your bestfriend is busy with his girl, you knew they’re get along well when Wendy told you that Suji introduced Kyungsoo to her family.
“So… now the family already know you?” you match Kyungsoo’s pace on the way to subway station.
He was a little startled but then he look straight ahead again without giving you any answer.
“I texted you yesterday.” You said.
“I called you few days a go.”
“I saw the missed call but I was out with Suji.”
You just nodded while glue your lips together. There was stung in your heart to find out that Kyungsoo doesn’t even know that you broke up with Lay. He didn’t even give you a chance to tell him.
He stepped inside the train. Without pulling you in.
He stand in the corner, the train wasn’t packed but he didn’t go finding a seat either. So you stand beside him.
“Sit there if you want.” He said pointing at an empty seat.
“No, i—uh, I wanna talk to you.”
He pull out his cellphone and plug the earphone. You were lowkey waiting for him to give you one earphone but the hope crumbled when he said,
“Hello, hey, I’m at the train right now… you’re already at campus?”
He’s calling Suji and left you awkwardly standing next to him.
Two stops later you find an empty seat near you, and you left Kyungsoo to sit down, didn’t realised that Kyungsoo finished the phonecall and staring at your sad face.
Next day kyungsoo waited for the subway but he didn’t find you, and the next day, also the day after. You weren’t avoiding him, you just went to Pohang because one of your older cousin’s getting married.
At the fourth day, you were already at the station waiting for the train when Kyungsoo appear beside you.
“Where were you?” he asked but the train coming and the pulled you inside and found seats for you, then he pulled his cellphone, you looked away, trying not to care if he’s going to call Suji again, but then you feel him slip the earphone into your ear.
“Listen, new song I discovered.” He said.
You didn’t say anything, keep your face away of him, and slowly release took the earphone off and give it back to him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing.” You stood up and standing near the door even tho your destination is still three stops away.
Somehow you couldn’t understand what you feel about him, is it about the kiss? Or your disappointment towards him because he wasn’t there when you’re down after broke up with Lay.
“Why you’re sulking?” he asked when you both get off at your stop and walking towards the campus.
“Oh, since when you know me that well till you know that I’m sulking?”
“Well, it doesn’t need to be genius to see how you fold that face into an ugly frown.” He shrugged.
“Don’t talk to me as if we’re close.” You walk faster.
“Huh? What do you mean? We are close.”
“You think so?” you turned to him, “are we still close now? Because as far as I remember, I didn’t neglect you when I have a boyfriend but look at you! You didn’t even reply my messages, you didn’t pick up my calls, you didn’t talk to me!”
“I didn’t ask you to do all of that to me while you have boyfriend.”
“Oh, so you think if you’re dating someone, you could just throw away your friends??” you raised your voice.
“I never threw you away! I’m just being a normal me, and I’m sorry if my girlfriend is actually paying attention to me, unlike your—“
“I broke up with Lay.” You said, “more than a week a go. And I’m trying to tell you this, I need you but you’re busy with your life!”
Kyungsoo called you but you runaway.
you murmured the nickname he gave you. Muffin. It was from the incident of your birthday years a go, when you had your 11 birthday, when you specifically asking for a cupcake for your birthday and Kyungsoo gave you muffin instead, telling you that they looked similar. You sulked for day and he teased you by calling you that, until now.
And as the courtesy of how Kyungsoo love to get you on the edge, he always giving you muffin in your birthday and told you to eat the cupcake.
You told him it’s a fake cupcake, muffin is not pretty like cupcake, muffin is ugly and by him calling you muffin, you knew he lowkey telling you that you’re ugly like muffin.
“Kyungsoo’s here.” Your mom knocked on your door.
You sat on your bed when he’s get into your room.
he smiles and gave you a cute box.
“If you dare buying me another dozen of muffin, I’m gonna hit y—“ you opened the box and found cupcakes inside.
He sat beside you and took one of the prettiest cupcake and feed you.
“How’s it?” he asked while you munch.
You only responds with a hum.
“Do you like this better?”
you never care about how it taste but actually it tastes like a birthday cake, a classic vanilla with overly sweet icing.
“Do you know why I prefer to call you muffin than cupcake?” he asked.
“Because I’m not pretty enough like cupcake?”
He shook his head, “because muffin tastes a lot better than cupcake.”
You didn’t say anything, just let him continue.
“muffins has various flavour inside, could be banana muffin, choco chips mufin, blueberry… and all flavour is inside the cake… unlike cupcake, cupcake is just a vanilla cake with icing. A plain cake with over decorating outside. And for me, you’re pretty inside, not outside.”
“Hm, of course you’re gonna take it wrong.” He sighs, “who says muffin is not pretty? Muffin is honest… do you think cupcake is pretty without all the icings?”
“You mean cupcake is like girls with thick make up?”
You tried to hold your smile. “I’m gonna tell Suji you said her make up is too thick.”
“Hey! Remember you told me Suji is cute like cupcake?”
Kyungsoo waved at you in dismissal. “Anyway, I’m sorry about you and Lay…” he caress your back.
“It’s fine… it’s time… I’ve been very patient for too long.” You said, “and you’re right, my boyfriend is not paying attention to me like your girl…”
He chuckled, “you’ll find someone who deserves you soon, muffin.”
You talked to him for another hour before he bid himself goodbye, and when you walked him outside, you realised you want to see him longer.
He startled when he heard you calling him with that name, not Dyo.
“Have you ever think of not being friends with me anymore?” you asked.
He shook his head, “when you were mad at me yesterday, I thought I lost you as my friend, and I don’t want that.”
And that brought you back to your place. He doesn’t want you and him to be more than this. “w-what about something else… other than being enemy.”
He stopped, but his gaze linger, he was staring at you and from his eyes, you knew he get what you mean. You saw the complication in his eyes.
“I have a girlfriend.” He said.
And so time flies, spring’s here, the flowers bloom and the weather getting warmer. Kyungsoo still remind friends with you, only he’s few feet farther than before. Many things changed after the whole blurry confession you told him, and you never blame him.
Lay finished his final project and he called you, he even went to see you several times, telling you that he’s sorry and if there’s another chance for him but you haven’t give him answer.
It’s still breezy but you decided to drive yourself to the beach at the city side. Suddenly you saw someone walked towards you, someone very familiar.
“How did you know I’m here?”
You made an ‘O’ with your mouth.
“Lay wants to reconcile.” You told him.
“Oh…” he walks beside you, “and?”
You just shrugged your shoulders.
“You don’t love him anymore?” he asked.
“I don’t know if I could love him again when I have someone else occupied my mind…” at this point, you don’t care. You knew you like Kyungsoo and if he can’t like you back, and he feels disturbed by your confession, he can leave and you two can stop being friends.
“Oh…” he still walking beside you. “I broke up with Suji.”
You stops, letting him leaving you behind. But after few steps he turned around, “I can’t stay being his boyfriend while my mind is occupied by someone else.”
You can’t help but asking, “who?”
“A friend a kissed on valentine’s day.” He murmured.
“You choose a muffin instead of a cupcake?”
He nodded, “always choose a muffin, because it tastes better.” He smiles.
“Soo…” he stepped closer, “instead of just thinking about each other… why don’t we date each other?”
“Since when did you like me?” you asked when he come even closer to you.
“Since I called you muffin for the first time.” He put a strain of your hair behind your ear.
“Hmm… but I’m afraid to ruin what we had…” he whispers.
“What about now? You’re not afraid to ruin what we have?”
Kyungsoo pull you into a hug, “being with or without you ruining me in different ways, and I choose to live the present, to show you how much I want you more than a friends do…” he kissed your hair, “muffin… I want to be with you for the longest time.”
You snugged deeper in his chest, “me too…”
He pull away a bit just to tild his head, “be my girl…” he said before leaned down to kiss you before you could say yes.
But you knew, he knew you’d say yes, because you kissed him back.
