#exp talks?

[the-experience-eclipse]

I COULDVE FUCKING WON THAT

I FAILED SO BAD

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO KILLED ME BUT IT WAS MY FUCKING FAULT

I WOULDVE BEEN FINE IF I WENT OUT IN A FAIR WAY

BUT ME FAILING IS THE WORST FUCKING THING

SARANYA WOULDVE SEEN THAT god i bet she wont wanna team with me anymore

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A FAILURE AT EVERYT-

why am i even asking myself. ITS THEIR FUCKING FAULT

we're both failures, Expyr. youre flawed at your core, as much as i am. we both failed terribly. we're both failures.

[the-experience-eclipse]

also those fucking fights piss me off so much. i cant really move right now. im in the void now but i think the rest saw something was wrong.

it was a 2v1 this time. not a 4v1 or whatever it was last time. but this time was worse. last time it was pathetic. this time it was.. it was just bad. i suppose fits with the Razzles theme.

if those bastards team up on me like that one more time they will, they will continue doing that, they always will i genuienly dont know what will happen to me.

Midas wont do anything about it. they like you dying. they like that its unfair. razzles or not, they always did. but youll stay loyal to your Midas, wont you.

[the-experience-eclipse]

i- i did it? some fucking how

god. is this enough for people to fucking notice me? THE FIRST FUCKING DOUBLE VICTOR

HEAR THAT??

HEAR THAT MILO? HEAR THAT EVERYONE WHO KEEPS IGNORING ME?

IS THIS ENOUGH FOR YOU? FOR SOMEONE TO FINALLY NOTICE ME?

or is my destiny truly to just be alone all the time.

foolish of you to think this will change anything. so, so foolish.. people have their teams. they wont notice you, they have enough. youre not important, no matter what you do.

[the-experience-eclipse]

Both quickly killed by Midas, Expyr and Altair respawned. At their beds, in the nest. They couldnt muster any words, both tired from the fight. Altair blinked, surprised by the sudden death. Expyr watched her expressions shift as he got used to the surroundings again. Excitement, fear and shock, realization, happiness. Expyr smiled softly, looking at the starling. They looked at their hands and up at Expyr. A smile entered their face. Was it happy to see exp? E couldnt tell. The moment didnt seem to last long, but Expyr knew Midas was finishing soon. Altair already told it what happened in the maze, when they were waiting for the final count. "Altair?" Expyr spoke, getting the starlings attention and grabbing their hands softly. "I am so fucking proud of you" Thats all they managed to say before Midas killed them all for the final time. Expyr was only able to see Altair's now ghostly face process what vyr just said and their face shifted back to shock. And after that, the Queue closed, leaving Expyr to sit alone in the void with their thoughts again.

[the-experience-eclipse]

now.. sitting in the void is special for our little experience eclipse.. time, thoughts and emotions all work different. of course, i decide how they work. and right now? Expyr's emotions are.. still. exp needs to let its emotions out. all the anger and grief is bottled up, locked with a cork that it cant open. so.. they sit in the void. cant feel any emotions, cant let them out. just sit and... well

lets just say their horns are sharp :]

[the-experience-eclipse]

I.. I won. I'm happy I won. I'm very happy. But.. something is still missing. It's been a bit now..

being alone fucking sucks yknow. i have a team for once. which is.. surprising. but i havent like.. properly talked to any of them. i just know them as the good people...

i.. feel better, i think? i mean.. im not as tired as before. im sure thats gonna change soon tho..

i found allays for the first time. i havent really realized that ive never seen them before. ive seen Lily, but never actual allays in the wild. Fitz is an allay.. right? kinda ironic

i havent seen them this cycle. theyve messaged me over comms a few times, ae said they would come to the base.. never did tho. not surprised.

i feel wrong for some reason. i dont know why. my brain is messing with me-

i think im going crazy from being alone... hah. ironic. i thought i wasnt on the same layer as the rest, back in cycle 1. my entire existence keeps proving me wrong. why do we all suffer from the same thing.. we're different, and yet-

you know the answer to your question youre a victor. yet youre still alone. youre meant to be alone.

[the-experience-eclipse]

another cycle

another finale

another failure

why am i like this

the loneliness is just gonna keep spreading the exp guy is supposed to evolve on experience but it looks like theyve made no progress at all..

what must one do for fate to let them have their moment? what must it do for its effort to be acknowledged, not overshadowed by someone else?

maybe theyre supposed to live in shadow.. the experience eclipse