[Emily doesnt understand why Rachel is missing a hand] [the wilds/tower]
Emily stared. Her eyes focused as completly as they could be. Sometimes they darted away from her central focus. She needed to be aware of her surroundings. Her eyes had never stayed exactly where she wanted them.
Not now. Could they just stay for once? She continued staring. She had come up with so many possible explanations for the seemingly missing arm. All of them only made a fraction of sense. She liked fractions. Liked math. The answers could never be subjective. As long as she tried hard enough. Paid enough attention it was proof she was going to be good enough at some point.
But now wasn't the time to long to sit alone in her dorm with a math textbook.
The girl she kept staring at seemed annoyed at her.
"Can we help you?" One of the other people in the mysterious group that had stumbled into tower. Emily knew how worried headmaster was about that one.
Did she have anything to do with it? Had she caused this specific malfunction of tower's perfect facade? Why was she always the one they blamed? What had she ever done? She thought about it, plenty. She hadn't been as hard to manage as Ray but she hadnt exactly been easy either. Another part of her brain argued with her that she was scared. And in a lot of pain. And just wanted someone to care about her. It was cast out of her thoughts as soon as it had attacked. If she was just good enough her parents would have wanted her. And none of anything at tower ever would have happened. How could she believe anything else when it was all they had ever said to her?
Emily had a question. But what if it was an obvious answer? Maybe one in seven people outside of tower only had one hand. Maybe tower was the one that was out of place. No one else had asked her.
Emily refused to admit that she wasnt sure.
"No," but she needed control.
She walked away. Staring again she wanted answers.
"lost it to a shark, if thats what youre wondering " eventually an answer. Except not really an answer.
What was a shark? She flipped through her biology textbook. Nothing. Maybe a different book?
Emily was alone. So she shoved the book in frustration. She looked around no one saw her lose control. Thankfully.
She knew how to act. How to pretend like she had never been in that lab. But it was exhausting. Every day she was pretending that nothing was wrong. That she didnt have to throw up in the nearest place hidden away. Too many people. Too much noise.
"whats a shark?" She decide to ask Ray when they had a moment's fragile peace. "And how would one lose something to it?"
He shrugged. Was it a riddle? A joke? A real question? "I dont know, whats the answer?"
"Not a riddle," she told him. "Couldnt find an answer in a book. I..."
Ray stopped her before she could insult herself. "You're doing the best you can."
"I dont think the tile floor agrees with you there."
"Is there anything that makes your stomach feel better?" He asked her.
Emily shook her head. "I dont know what else to try."
"Hey, its okay."
She was tired of pretending. Tired of acting like nothing was wrong. But everyone would think less of her if they knew. She couldnt let them know.
"Do you think..." she paused. Did she want to ask that question?
"Its just me. Ask." Ray was right. She could ask him her question.
"Do you think our parents knew how terrafying it would be?" Maybe she wanted him to say nom to say they thiught it would be only gentle experiments. Thiught it would only be experiments and not the rest of their days in the cells. Maybe they hadnt known everything.
"Probably, they hated us. Remember?"
"Do you think theyd accept an apology?" Emily didnt apologize. For anything. It was an admission of a mistake. "Take us back."
"Why would they be any better?" Ray countered.
Emily nodded. Ray had a point.
Emily sat surrounded by people who were trying their best to make her comfortable in a world she didnt understand. She didnt know how to make herself accept their help.

















