May 31, 2022
never thought about this but maintaining that balance is so crucial.
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never thought about this but maintaining that balance is so crucial.
True love vs fish love
"Young man. Why are you eating that fish?" Young man says: "Because I love fish." He says: "Oh. You love the fish. That's why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it." He says: "Don't tell me you love the fish. You love yourself, and because the fish tastes good to you, therefore, you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it." So much of what is love is fish love. And so, young couple falls in love. Young man and young woman fall in love. What does it mean? That mean that he saw in this woman someone who he felt could provide him with all of his physical and emotional needs, and she felt in this man somebody she feels that she can write that was love, but each one is looking out for their own needs. It's not love for the other. The other person becomes a vehicle for my gratification. Too much of what is called love is fish love.
An external love is not on what I'm going to get but what I'm going to give. We had in ethicist rabbi Dessler who said: "The people make a serious mistake in thinking that you give to those whom you love, and the answer is you love those to whom you give." His point is: if I give something to you, I've invested myself in you. Since self-love is given, everybody loves themselves, now that part of me has become in you, there's a part of me in you that I love.
True love is a love of giving, not a love of receiving.
- Abraham Twerski
External love is a bonus gift. 🧚🏼♀️❤️