#extremely so

[teddytheartist]

Hadn´t posted this cuz i had so much going on but i did an art exchange as part of @steddiebbang ´s #sbbartexchange26 , this are my colors on @al-at-once ´s Lineart :) i´ve never done asteddie collab or event so im pretty excited, it was sm fun!!

[blandsample]

being a fan of both spock and sarek feels like being dangled over a chasm and being forced to choose safety on either a path of nails or the path with hot coals

[aayakashii]

"Can I hug you?" You suddenly asked as you watched Haru's back while he closed the gate that led to the fields where bigger, bull-like anomalies roamed free.

"What? Now?" He turned around to look at you, eyebrows shooting upwards in surprise. He rubbed the back of his hand against his forehead, wiping the sweat on his brow that glistened under the harsh sun rays. You noticed how the white streaks of sunscreen you had demanded he applied on his face were already trailing down his freckled cheeks. He was already due for another coat.

You shrugged and nodded meekly.

"But I'm all sweaty, and there's dirt on my clothes." He said with a pout. His hands instinctively went to touch the place where Peekaboo would be, if he wasn't napping in his cradle back in the dorm.

"... I know." You muttered.

Haru straightened his posture and put his hands on his hips, leaning towards your face.

"Hmmm... Are you okay?" He asked, scanning your expressions.

You shrugged again and fidgeted with your hands.

"Not really."

He slowly leaned back with a sigh, face softening at your words. His eyebrows shot up again, now morphing his face into a look of sympathy.

"Okay..." he nodded. "But are you sure you wanna hug me?"

You nodded fiercely. Haru frowned.

"Even if I'm a bit yucky?"

"You're not yucky!" You immediately protested. You would never stand for his own self-deprecation.

"I just mean I'm sweaty" Haru raised his hands in surrender with a giggle.

"I don't care." You shook your head and looked at your feet. "I just wanna hug you."

Haru widened his eyes for a moment before raising the corner of his lips in a smile and shaking his head.

"I can't say no after that, now can I? Come here." He opened his arms with a grin and stepped closer to you.

You threw your arms around his neck and pressed yourself flush against his body. And as Haru circled your waist with his arms, your senses were quickly covered by all that encompassed him.

His messy mop of red hair grazed your forehead as you rested your head on the crook of his neck. The darkened tips were plastered together since they were damp, and they tickled your skin as they dragged softly on your face.

From up close, you could see that the freckles that adorned his cheeks and nose were also present on his clavicule, and you couldn't help but wonder if he also had them on his shoulders, on his back, on his chest.

His breathing was steady, grounding. He hummed quietly as his hands traced circles on your back, patiently waiting for you to leave the darker corners of your mind, luring you back to him with his voice.

But most importantly, there was his scent. Haru smelled like a mix of sunscreen, musk, and grocery store-bought baby cologne – he had told you before that it was the best way to make himself smell at least okay without spending too much money. It was all so undeniably "Haru" that, for a moment, you managed to focus only your senses and forget about everything else.

You exhaled shakily, and Haru tightened his hold on your waist, pressing you firmly (and impossibly closer) against his body. You felt supported. Protected. Safe.

You already knew it, but once again, you relished in the realization that Haru felt like home.

And, in that moment, you could believe that things could be okay someday – as long as you had that home to go back to.

[asfairaseros]

you know what I'm really loving about these hockey romance shows? Men who don't look dangerously dehydrated. Yes, these are all still professional actors with incredibly high standards for male beauty I know I know, but it at least feels like a small step in the right direction lol

[nipuni]

My dad died yesterday, he was 63

I would like to share a little about him and our story if anyone wants to read, this is not a happy story

My parents divorced when I was three and I went to live with my mom so I saw my dad's life in snapshots, once a week at first and then once a year when he moved abroad and I would spend the summers with him. Every time I would catch up with him he would have a different partner or apartment.

My time with him was always fun, he was laid back, adventurous and open, he would let me do all kinds of crazy stuff while my mom was the strict one. He was a genius to me, he taught me how to program my own games when I was nine, he would make me take computers and appliances apart and reassemble them to teach me how they worked, he made me love science, the outdoors and travelling. He was great at teaching and cooking and driving. He worked on tours for famous musicians as a sound tech, he made 3D films for museums and theme parks when it was all very new, he was a photographer, a programmer, electrician, mechanic, artist and could play many instruments and write poetry!!

The first crack between us was when there was a huge split between my mom's side of the family and his over money and a lot of ugly truths stared coming to light. I realized that when it came to money he was willing to put himself before me and the fights between him and my mom were awful. But in the end once the dust settled we both pretended it never happened.

One weekend I went to visit him and realized his current girlfriend would stick around at last and she had a daughter almost my age!! I now had a little sister and I loved it.

A year later the country fell apart and he fled abroad along with them and even though I missed them I would visit for months at a time every year. I saw him start his life over, he started his own company and I was so proud of him!!

Everything was great for eight years, until one day he told me that my step mom and sister left him and he would sell everything and come back to the country. This was the last time I would ever hear of them, they vanished, I mourned my step sister for years. This was also when his life fell apart.

At 17 adulthood came with a lot of revelations. My mom told me that my dad had been an addict since he was very young, before I was born, my whole life, cocaine and alcohol amongst other things, and everyone around him had been putting up with it and helping him but couldn't take it anymore. He had cheated on her when they had me and had cheated on my step mom too. He would lie to get what he wanted and trusting him was getting increasingly harder.

All of my memories of him were now seen through a different lens. I felt betrayed. I could now tell every time he had been high, and knew where the money he asked of me when to, I was aware of every little lie. I was angry and frustrated at him for the pain he caused my mom and everyone around him. And for squandering the potential I knew he had, for always making the wrong decisions, one mistake after another. And I hated feeling this way the most.

After he came back to the country alone he could never recover, he would relapse, overdose, refuse rehab or any medical help. He would escape psychiatrics facilities and hospitals in the middle of the night, he was a menace!! lmao.

Our relationship was still good despite all this, different but still standing, he had always been my friend even if he wasn't the best at being a dad or partner, I would always scold him and tell him of different job opportunities I came up with for him to try out but now there was this distance between us. I became the parent of the relationship in a way and he didn't like being told what to do. I saw him spiral and I was scared for him.

I've always heard all these stories about addicts finding purpose and fighting for their loved ones, so every time he would jokingly talk to me about how high he was and seemed to enjoy it despite my warnings and pleading it made me feel like I was not enough of a reason to get better, as self centered as it may be I was a teen and I felt powerless to stop him, insignificant. People could get better for their children, but not for me.

I knew this way of thinking was flawed and selfish and he was the one struggling, I knew he was a victim. I spent the last of my teenage years and early twenties trying to fight back this feeling so I could preserve our relationship, we always kept in contact but over time he changed and was no longer the person I knew.

He became a stranger, often times incoherent and delusional, his views changed, he was paranoid, his addiction got worse and worse and now all I could feel was pity and guilt, our once good relationship was now reduced to a few interactions where he would ask me for money, I knew I was possibly funding his self destruction and he was likely lying to me but he also needed to pay for medication and so I couldn't refuse him.

I had my own life now, a husband and plans for the future. When I decided to move abroad a few years ago I knew our hug goodbye could be the last, he was broke and unstable but I thought once I was settled and had a job and a citizenship I could have enough money to get him tickets to visit and show him the life I had made for myself like he had done in my childhood.

But then Covid happened, and he would never agree to make calls. Soon after he was diagnosed with cancer, I would ask about his health and he would say he was fine. He wasn't fine, he was smoking 4 packs a day. He got the cancer removed but refused further treatment, he said he didn't have any purpose left in life and no reasons to keep living, he had a stroke and couldn't feel half his body when he was forcibly hospitalized, his cancer had spread and he hadn't been eating for a long time, he hid all this from me, I first heard it from my aunt in tears over the phone yesterday, he tried to escape the hospital in the night and had to be tied up and sedated, he never woke up.

He died alone, all that is left of his family is me and my aunt and we both live in different countries. There is nobody there to even bury him. I feel like I abandoned him. I've always known I would feel this way when this day came, in a way I've been mourning him for many years and have carried this guilt for even longer.

I had the coolest dad, cocaine took him away. I wish this had a better and uplifting message. I just wanted to get this off my chest. He taught me a lot and made me who I am, and I have a lot of great memories with him. He struggled all of his life with his mental health and despite it all he was still amazing and deserved so much better.

He always said that when he was a ghost he would follow me around, I hope he isl!! so I can live for both of us, I love you dad!! and I'm so sorry 🕯️

[bearmets]

hollanov timeloop au where shane has the power to manufacture the cottage days over and over again so that he can stay comfortable with ilya. ilya doesn't remember anything when the loop starts again, and doesn't realize when the loop starts repeating. even that is part of shane's power: to keep ilya from ever realizing.

shane believes that the time loop keeps them safe, allows them to experience this soft love over and over again. shane wants to keep landing in freshly warm blankets, waking up with ilya next to him and getting to do whatever they want: swim in the lake, come in and play games where they beat each other just like they do on the ice, getting a fraction of that same adrenaline rush but also the immediacy to do something about it. physical intimacy, wherever they want, on their own terms. why would he need more than this? when he sees the look on ilya's face doing anything, it's just so hard for him to let go.

the nth time it happens, ilya slowly realizes what's going on -- why everything is so careful, why shane can perfectly mouth what ilya is going to say next with nearly every response ilya gives. some parts of the illusion shatter, parts of shane start cracking as he serves up some pasta, his parents' recipe. the cottage has never been the place for them to put on facades -- shane made it very clear ever since their first day here.

when ilya does realize, he feels...like its unfair that shane would do that to him, and tells him so. it's unfair that shane has been suffering through creating this illusion alone, retaining these memories for himself and sharing none of these burdens and fears with ilya. he loves shane so much that he would do anything for them to move forward: to spend more time with him even outside of the cottage, forge new memories anywhere they can go. to see a better and brighter view from outside these glass walls, see what they have the potential to be, what they haven't explored yet. there's still so, so much for them to experience individually and with each other.

"then maybe it's time to wake up, yes?"

[gojopied]

I would pay $2 million dollars to sniff Gojo’s underwear

[mycullinggame-inactive]

i just entered flowstate with this drabble icl