I just like need some rest. Just a few weeks. Then, listen, then we can talk about how to approach reality. As long as nothing happens between now and then, I'll be ready to think about facing it. Good Morning!!!
“…but four centuries before neurochemistry was even thought of, and before any of the touted advances in neurosciences that allegedly gave us a new and better understanding of ourselves, Shakespeare knew something that we are increasingly loath to acknowledge.
There is no technical fix for the problems of humanity.
Those problems, he knew, are ineradicably rooted in our nature; and he atomized that nature with a characteristic genius never since equaled: which is why every time we moderns consult his works, we come away with a deeper insight into the heart of our own mystery.”
Title: Maybe [redacted] Doesn’t Want to be Found (then why does he want it all back?)
Summary: Techno thinks he's been betrayed again, and hides his feelings. Tommy thinks that in his haste to save one friend, he lost another, and hides his big secret. Niki thinks he's gone and hides her grief. Tubbo thinks he'll return, and hides his need for comfort. Fundy thinks he's better off gone, and hides his rage.
Some of them are wrong, some get discovered, but the more time passes, the Dream SMP starts to think that Tommy may be right. They all accept it. Tommy doesn't.
Part 1
Part 3
Masterlist
[redacted] just earned the achievement: The End?
The message went forgotten in the night, fading away into the chat, only to be covered by the conversations of the morning. In the Arctic, though the two slept and dreamt of the land that their lost third had gone, they thought nothing of it. To them, it was just a dream. There was nothing to say about it, because to them, dreams were natural.
It never occurred to them that the dream was more an unconscious cry for help, and it never made them wonder who sent it. Maybe it never would.
The sun rose, shining onto the snow in hues of rose pink and orange as the animals began to wake, and in the cottage that had been so cheerful the day before, one inhabitant got up before the other.
The man that was awake was clothed in green, and he moved slowly as he waited for the exhaustion to leave his body. Perhaps he made a cup of tea, or maybe he sat down to read. Either way, it took him a while to make it out of the house.
When he did leave to brave the snow, it wasn’t with the intention to check on the teenage hybrid, but to make sure that the honey farm was working.
It was only the distressed call of the enderman that Ranboo had caught that made him look over to the small shack.
Nothing looked out of place, but with a frown, he wandered over. After Edward had died, he missed the enderman’s presence.
He didn’t even notice that the lump in the bed wasn’t a child. He didn’t notice the lack of hay in the corner. He didn’t notice that the pets were gone. He didn’t notice that there was no set of returning footprints.
Philza made his rounds through all of the farms and returned to the cottage, letting out a huff of relief at the heat. He raised his head as he took off his cloak, meeting the gaze of his son who must have gotten up at some point while he was out.
“Cold?” Techno asked, smiling.
“You bet, it’s colder than that one journey we did for the empire. You know, the one where we had to camp in the snow for a week?”
Techno nodded, and they were quiet as they mused on past memories. They couldn’t decide if those were better times, or if perhaps they had just changed.
The day continued, slow and relaxed, and was spent mainly conversing with villagers. They didn’t leave the building, but at some point in the late afternoon, Philza turned to Technoblade with a puzzled look on his face.
“Hey, I haven’t heard from Ranboo today. I usually at least see him wandering in the yard.”
Techno shrugged, and was about to respond, when there was a large clatter from above. They raced up the ladders, only to catch a young blond in the act of thievery.
“Tommy?” Phil asked, and the teen in response flinched away, pressed against a wall, hiding his back.
Tommy wasn’t there out of spite, he wasn’t there to be mean. He was there in a desperate hope to survive, and if a little relocating of supplies ensured that his best friend didn’t lose his last life, then what was it in the grand scheme of things?
The next few days went by quietly in the snow, they didn’t go anywhere and no one came to visit them. They knew of a large fight that had happened, but they didn’t want any part of it, not even if Tommy was part of it.
They’d bide their time.
It was only after those few days that Philza wondered where Ranboo had gone. He wasn’t concerned, but he wondered if Ranboo had left for good. When he brought it up to Techno, he wasn’t sure if he liked the red glint in his eyes or not.
That same afternoon, after the imprisonment of Dream, Techno looked into Ranboo’s shack for the first time. He crouched on the grass, and after a few minutes, he growled. He stood up as he unsheathed his axe, and met Philza’s eyes.
“He definitely left in a hurry. I expect we’ll find him with the old L’manberg crew, like everyone who we house here.”
It took some convincing for one of the two, but soon Technoblade was en route to the crater. No one knew it but him as a black shape soared in the air above him like a guardian angel.
If there was one thing that Techno didn’t like, it was traitors.
________________
They reached the more populated land and were almost immediately met with Tommy, clad in a bulky sweatshirt despite the sweltering heat.
“What do you want, Technoblade?” The teen asked. “Tubbo almost died, so I suggest that you leave and let me process what happened.”
Techno couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness at how broken the boy looked. He moved past it. “That’s alright, but unless you want to almost die, point me in the direction of a certain enderman hybrid.”
He looked threatening, with his axe slung over his shoulder and relaxed posture, as if murdering was a casual way to spend an afternoon.
For him, it probably was.
Tommy raised an eyebrow as he shifted uncomfortably in his layers. “Ranboo? Haven’t seen him in ages. Punz said he couldn’t find him, so we thought he was with you. Figured he was on your side, hated us or whatever. Is he not?” Tommy would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared for his friend, with Techno after him, but if the pink-haired man had made up his mind, there was nothing he could do.
“Cut the bull, Tommy.” Phil said, stepping out from behind his son. “He hasn’t been at our place in days. We know you’re hiding him, we’ll find him eventually, there’s no use in stalling.”
Tommy’s confident grin slipped a little. “What d’you mean he hasn’t been there? I thought he had a house there? Why would he leave?”
Techno sighed. “If you’re not going to tell me, then I’ll just look myself. Bye, Theseus.”
The younger boy flinched at the nickname, and as he watched the pair leave, he couldn’t help but wish for simpler days when he could have gone to either for love. Instead, he went back to where Tubbo sat.
His mind wouldn’t let him rest, though.
“Hey Tubbo?”
The boy who was sitting down, making a flower crown, hummed in response.
“Are you sure we haven’t seen Ranboo?”
Tubbo shrugged. “I’m sure he’ll turn up somewhere.”
Tommy waited another day before leaving to go somewhere. Or, rather, find someone.
His destination wasn’t far away, but he took it slow for a multitude of reasons. First, his muscles still ached from his big fight, and two, he wasn’t all that sure that he was welcome in the place that he was traveling to. His mind was crowded, but something in him urged him to keep going. Something was wrong.
When he got to where he was going, he was greeted with tense silence. He broke it first.
“Hey, Niki.” She didn’t respond, but she turned to look down at him from her spot on the cobble tower she was making. “Listen, I know… I know we aren’t on the best of terms, but please tell me you’ve seen Ranboo.” He hated how his voice broke, like he was some child seconds away from tears. “You don’t even have to tell me where he is, if he wants to stay away, but please tell me he’s okay. I haven’t seen him in ages, and Techno’s hunting him. I need to make sure he’s not dead.”
That got Niki’s attention. She made her way down from where she had been and approached Tommy, who averted his eyes from the familiar coat that hung on her shoulders.
“Ranboo’s missing?”
“Yeah.”
“Let me grab a few things. We need to find him.”
“So he’s not with you?” Tommy asked, looking up as Niki started walking away.
She turned to look at him, with a scared, sad look in her eyes. “No. I haven’t seen him since the… since everything went to shit.”
_______________________
It was a few days later. Niki and Tommy had gathered a group of people, but all of their searches came up with nothing. They were losing hope.
Tommy had one last option, but he wasn’t sure if he liked it. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. He wasn’t sure if it would even work, but it was for Ranboo, so he’d do it. No one deserved to be out in the wilderness alone.
He took a few people with him, and they trekked for miles before it started snowing. It got colder, it got more harsh, and right before the others were ready to give up, a light shone in the distance. Almost as soon as it came into view the wind slowed a bit, making it easier to walk.
The wood cabin wasn’t welcoming, but this was for Ranboo. Was he alone in the snow? Was it hurting him?
Tommy looked down and knocked on the door, picking at the sleeves of his sweatshirt, but he was sure the people in it knew he was there.
He was right, and they were armed.
The boy raised his hands in surrender, and lifted his gaze to meet his… his father’s. He didn’t like the tears welling in his eyes and how genuine they were, but it got Phil to lower his sword. It gave him a chance.
“Phil, Ranboo, uh...” He stopped, cleared his throat and tried not to think of his friend lost in the wilderness. He wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not like this. Not with what was at stake.
“What is it, Tommy?” Phil asked, suddenly reminded of all the times Tommy had wandered to his bedside because of nightmares, and he wasn’t sure if he liked the similarities to now.
“It’s Ranboo- he- he’s-” water kept piling up, and he sniffed in an attempt to keep it at bay.
“Spit it out, Tommy.” Techno barked, but his axe was leaned against the wall. The child wasn’t a threat.
“Ranboo’s missing.”
__________________
The cabin was lit, a sharp contrast to the darkness outside of it. A group of five huddled inside of it, talking in hushed tones. There was a father, a failed one, there was a son, the loved one, there was a girl so forgotten by the world that she vowed to make it remember her, there was a boy that once was a son but now only held secrets, and there was another boy who had only ever been second best.
They talked of the boy, unloved by all except for catastrophe, who searched for love in the void of pain and only ended up worse off than he was before.
“Where’s Fundy?” Phil asked, noticing the lack of reminder of the other son he had failed.
Niki winced. “He didn’t want to come. And, uh, Tommy figured it would be best to not bring many people. Appear as unthreatening as possible.”
Techno glanced around the room. Tommy and Tubbo huddled together as if scared that the other would disappear at a moment’s notice or would drift away in the breeze, and Niki looked so small in the brown trench coat that looked so familiar… He shook that thought away. “I mean, you did succeed. But how do we know this isn’t all an act? How do we know that you aren’t just tricking us? What can you show so that we know you’re sincere?”
Phil almost stopped Techno, but something in him made him stop.
Tommy sighed. He had really hoped this wouldn’t happen. He had really hoped it wouldn’t come to this. He had really hoped to just keep one more secret, but it looked like it wasn’t going to happen. He stood up, and he could feel Tubbo start to keep leaning over as he moved.
He took his sweatshirt over his head, and suddenly, it was dead quiet.
If they'd had better hearing, they would only have heard hearts beating, tense breathing, and one lone, grey feather hitting the floor.
Philza took in a sharp breath. “Tommy?” The boy didn’t meet his eyes. Softer this time, “Tommy, when did this happen?”
The boy’s large wings moved to embrace himself as he avoided eye contact. “During exile.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
Tommy shrugged passively. “I didn’t think you’d care.”
“How’d you hide that from me?” Techno asked, doing his hardest to ignore the cacophony of his voices and the hurting in his chest at the thought of Tommy, cowering under his base, scared for his life, the pain of growing the wings still present, having gone through it all alone. The thought of Little Tommy, starving and hurt, huddling on the cold stone of his basement, all alone, with no one there for him. The thought of his brother-
Tommy’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Guess you just never noticed.”
Something was wrong. That wasn’t right. “I would’ve noticed when I found you like a little raccoon. Now, we’ll ask you this again. When did this happen?” Techno asked.
The response was so quiet he almost didn’t hear it. He almost wished he didn’t. “While I was here.”
And suddenly, it was so much worse.
His little brother grew wings, right under his nose. His little brother bled through the pain, and cried, and lost any last grasp to his childhood, and all when he didn’t notice. His little brother was so scared of him that he didn’t even ask for help, he just went through it alone, because going through the trauma and hurt by himself was better than it would be with him. When had he become such a bad older brother?
“Oh, Tommy.”
_______________
They met at the Fortress, although they hadn’t a clue what it was. It was almost funny, the irony of it all. Almost the whole server met at the Fortress with hesitant treaties to organize search parties for Ranboo, and the answer to it all was being used as their table.
The deity watching them had to give them credit, they had a good plan. They would have succeeded in their mission if Ranboo had been where they searched, so it was a shame that he wasn’t. It was a shame that he had gone to drastic measures to make sure they’d never find him.
He had to give them credit, they searched for much longer than he thought they would have. But, like many things, it didn’t last. People lost hope, they gave up.
The people of the Badlands and the old members of the Dream Team were the first to give up. They didn’t have a connection that fueled them, so their fire fizzled out.
Fundy and some of the lesser members were next. He didn’t want to be there in the first place.
Everyone fell off, they stopped their searches, until it was just Niki, Tubbo, Techno, and Tommy. But, like many good things, it didn’t last.
_________________
Niki stood up with a sigh, going to leave the room that they had gathered in.
“Where are you going?” Tommy asked.
She hesitated to answer. “I don’t know, Tommy. I just think that we would’ve found him by now. I want him home as much as you do, but maybe… Tommy, maybe he just doesn’t want to be found.”
So, she left.
Tubbo was slow, but he followed too.
“Tubbo?”
“I’ll be back home. I’ve got to start dinner.” The boy said, not meeting Tommy’s eyes.
It was quiet for a moment. “Techno, are you going to leave, too? Are you going to just give up like them?”
Technoblade didn’t answer right away, but he got Tommy standing. He slung an arm over the young boy’s shoulders and started walking with him. “C’mon, Theseus. We’ve got things we need to do.”
One by one, they all gave up. All except Tommy. Tommy knew there was something missing from the puzzle, and he had a feeling that Ranboo did want to be found. He wasn’t going to give up. He couldn’t. Not when Ranboo was all alone in the wilderness.
_______________
Time passed by, slowly, then it gathered speed. A week, followed by a month, followed by another, followed by a year. Ties began to heal, brought together by the loss of one of their own.
Dream stayed in the prison. He would rot there, eventually, but not before he served his purpose. That’s not this story, though. This isn’t the story of Dream, it’s the story of a boy and his nightmares.
There were no enemies, no wars. At the very least, they tolerated each other. At the most, they became a family again.
Tommy and Tubbo didn’t like being apart from each other for more than a few hours. Niki visited them sometimes, and he brought bread occasionally. Fundy would join her, maybe, or maybe all four would travel to a cottage in the snow for a few days.
Time passed, painfully for some.
Tommy learned how to use his wings, how to fly. He learned why he felt so protective over his family, in his yearning for a flock to call his own. Tubbo trained with Techno, partially to work on forgiving, partially to be able to protect his family. Niki still wore the coat, even when it was old and torn and fraying. Fundy visited his father’s grave. He cried there, but in the end he felt better.
Time passed, but the memories of the forgotten one didn’t leave Tommy’s mind. He didn’t want to leave him alone.
It was towards the end of a visit, just Tommy and Tubbo at the cottage with Phil and Techno. It was a soft dusk, and quiet, too. Two sets of dark, feathered wings draped over the large couch, covering the four people as they lounged together, basking in the warmth that they preserved.
Tommy was tired, his eyelids drooping, a content trill in the back of his throat not quite making it out. As he drifted off, he heard the harsh chirp of an enderman, and his eyes opened a little, sleepily, to look out of the window.
“Tommy?” Phil shifted from where he had been watching over the three others, waiting for an answer that didn’t come.
Tommy was staring directly at the enderman outside, in the boat, who was looking him right back in the eyes.
“Tommy?” Phil asked again, still not breaking his focus.
“Phil….” there was a soft hum. “Phil, how old is that enderman?”
Phil thought for a moment, before he sighed. “That’s uh, that’s actually one that Ranboo caught before he left. He might have accidentally made it mad, but he never liked killing them, so he caught it. Why?”
Tommy untangled himself from the pile of limbs and took a deep breath. “Was it there the night that he left?”
“Yea- Yeah, why?”
“Phil, that enderman might know where he went. We just need to talk to it.”
It’s finally here- my newest animatic for Face Reality! Many thanks to Victor McKnight for his permissions, and those supporting my work every step of the way! I hope you enjoy my video, and watch to the very end for a special surprise ;)!
