Fanfiction: Dragon Age 2
Dealing with some Fade stuff where Hawke is forced to live a half-dream, half-nightmare scenario and his friends have to try and convince him to come back to the real world as he truly is.
Can also be found on Ao3
It always had to be the Fade, hadn’t it? Yet somehow, Anders was not Justice. Justice was still quietly slumbering away within. That made him relieved considering the company he was with.
A broody elf, a dwarf, and a possessed mage walk into the Fade.
Now they just waited for the punchline.
However, the three of them knew why they were here, against all odds: their friend, Seth Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall, and Anders’s lover, had been sent here. Of course — as many of their problems were oft to be caused by — blood magic was involved. Seth apparently couldn’t ever get any peace in Kirkwall, even after becoming the Champion. Honestly, it shouldn’t have been that surprising considering he was a free mage unlike most in Kirkwall. The Knight-Commander knew he was a mage and so did everyone else. The only reason he was never locked up in the Gallows was because of his status as Champion. He was the defender of the city.
And as much as Meredith hated that, she knew she had to let him reign free.
But there were always people jealous or even wary that Seth was allowed to roam free. Especially knowing he had a few apostate friends as well. So it was bound to happen that Seth would be kidnapped and jettisoned into the Fade by a couple unhappy blood mages. How Seth was kidnapped, no one even knew. He was sleeping soundly next to Anders just the night before.
Anders managed to arrange a few favors and got enough lyrium to send himself and two others into the Fade to find Seth and bring him home. Anders had fully expected Justice to take over once he stepped into the Fade physically, but Justice hadn’t.
As the three of them traveled across floating rocks, shivering at the green atmosphere, Varric finally let out a groan. “I swear if I end up in the Fade one more time, I’m quitting.”
Fenris looked at him with a raised brow. “Quitting what?”
“I’m just going to stick to writing books in a nice home on the coast, far away from magic and all this other shit.” The dwarf ran a hand through his hair. “How are we even supposed to find Hawke in here?”
Anders ignored the dwarf’s complaints, but answered his question. “The Fade naturally leads you to your desires. If we desire to find Seth, then we should be able to.”
“Then how come we haven’t found him, yet?” Fenris questioned, crossing his arms.
Anders frowned. “I don’t know. Something’s weird. I should have turned into Justice as soon as we entered the Fade, but I didn’t. It’s like the laws have been bent here for some reason.”
“Why don’t we just go find Seth in the real world, then?” Varric asked.
“Because from what Aveline told us, his captors had sent him fully into the Fade. His physical body is not in the real world anymore.”
“So he’s like us?” Fenris asked.
Anders nodded. “Right now, none of us exist in the real world. We’re all here physically, when normally only I or Seth could be here physically and only in our dreams.”
Varric grumbled to himself.
Anders looked back at the two of them. “If you do not wish to stay, then I can send you back, but I’m not giving up. I’m going to find Seth and I’m going to bring him home!” Anders snapped at them. His flickered blue for a second and Fenris took a slight step back, caution filling his eyes.
“I’m not saying I want to leave, even though I do, but I also want to find Hawke,” Varric digressed. “No offense Blondie, but I don’t know how long you’re going to last unpossessed right now.”
Anders looked at his hands. “I don’t know either.”
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
They traveled for what seemed like hours, or days, or years. Time was wonky in the Fade. It could have been seconds that passed in the real world while they lived a millennia in the Fade. However, they had eventually come to a scene that looked a lot like Lothering, Seth’s old home that he fled from during the Blight. However, the village looked thriving.
The three of them traveled down the streets until they came to a house on the outskirts of the village, far away from everyone else and from the Chantry. They could see two teenagers running in the fields, playing tag or some other children’s game. They saw the late Leandra Amell on a rocking chair, knitting away at some garment.
Then they saw a man who approached Leanda and gave her a kiss on her head. His hair was black and eyes a piercing blue, but a wide smile on his face. He looked out at the two teenagers running across the field and stood proudly. He looked old, similar in age to Leandra. Varric frowned, but before he could say anything, a lithe woman walked through him and approached the black haired-man.
The three of them watched as the woman dropped a large sack at the foot of the man. They were stunned, as she turned to watch the teenagers, to recognize familiar red eyes. The woman’s white hair was long and straight, drifting all the way down to the small of her back. She looked young, but not too young. About Anders’s age. However, her body was lean and thin. She had slight muscle buildup around her arms, but her face looked soft and round.
“That’s not…Hawke, is it?” Fenris asked, looking at the woman in disbelief.
Varric looked confused. “It’s almost as if it were a female version of him.”
Anders shook his head, sadness filling his eyes. “No, this is him.” Fenris and Varric looked up at Anders in surprise. “He must be in a world where he never transitioned.”
“Wait, seriously?” Varric asked.
Anders nodded. “He revealed it to me our first night together. It’s never come up since then so he never felt the need to tell anyone else.”
The white-haired woman looked at them and frowned. Those piercing red eyes were not filled with humor like Seth’s always was. She approached the three of them and crossed her arms, looking at them with suspicion. “Who are you?” she asked them.
Anders cleared his throat and offered a smile. “We are friends of yours. You’re in the Fade right now, a dream. One that has skewed your reality.”
The woman scoffed. “Yeah, okay and I’m the King of Fereldan.”
“Samantha?” called the voice of Leandra. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just dealing with some snoopers,” the woman barked over her shoulder. She eyed the three of them again. “I suggest you leave us alone. We want no quarrel with you. Tell whoever sent you to stop bothering us.”
“We weren’t sent by anyone,” Varric said.
Samantha scoffed again. “Uh huh. That’s what a templar dog would say.” She stepped close to Anders, anger and a threat flashing across her red eyes. “If the templars do decide to finally come and tear my family apart, you’ll regret the day you ever stepped near our fucking house. Do you understand, bastard?”
Anders backed up shaking his head. “We’re not templars!”
“Yeah, this one hates templars,” Fenris pointed at Anders.
“Then who the fuck are you?!” Samantha growled, her fingers twitching as the air around them all started to crackle.
“Just look!” Anders held out his hands and willed the air to cool around them, forming a spike of ice in one hand. Then he willed a flame into existence in the other one. He took his hands and clapped them together, causing the flame to burst and ice to shatter, causing a lightning spark to shoot into the air before fizzling away. “I’m a mage, too.”
Samantha seemed to relax, but did not lower her guard. “I still don’t understand what you’re doing here then.”
“We’re here to rescue you,” Varric reiterated.
“Rescue me? From what?” She snorted. “My happy life here? I have a loving family and more than I could ask for.”
Anders looked at her sadly. “This isn’t you though. And this life your living…It’s not yours.” Anders motioned to the village behind them. “Lothering is gone. You ran from it during the Blight.” He pointed to the family in the back. “Your family is all but dead. Only Carver remains and he’s a Grey Warden.”
Her eyes flicked to Anders. “How do you know my brothers name?” she hissed.
“Because we know you,” Fenris responded.
“This isn’t real, Seth,” Anders said quietly, holding a hand out to the woman. She backed away.
“My name isn’t Seth.” But even as she said it, doubt started to form in her eyes.
“It is. You are a man living in Kirkwall. You are the Champion of Kirkwall,” Anders pressed.
Samantha backed away some more, clutching her head. “No, you’re wrong! My name is Samantha! I’m a girl living in Lothering with my family and nothing bad ever happened to us!”
“Seth please,” Anders stepped forward, chasing her retreat. “Just listen to me.”
“I don’t even know who you are!” she yelled at him.
Anders’s heart cracked, for but a moment. He would save Seth from this dream. “I’m your…I’m your partner,” Anders revealed, with a hand to his heart. “You gave me this, remember?” Anders turned his head and pointed to the red hair tie he had his half-ponytail in. “And this.” He flicked his gold earring. “And this,” he motioned to a red band around his wrist. “And I gave you this.” Anders reached out towards the woman and she flinched, but as Anders put his hand on her chest, he grabbed the red feather that was attached to a leather chord, wrapped around her neck that had appeared as he reached for it.
She looked at it in shock, gently holding the feather in her hands. Recognition seemed to flash in her eyes. “I…I remember being unable to sleep…Then I went for a walk and I…I got hit upside the head.” She scratched her head. “Then I was back in Lothering and I…” She looked down at herself. “This isn’t me. I never wanted to be this.” She put her hands on her chest, feeling the breasts that should not have been there anymore. She touched her face which was too round and soft.
Anders put a hand on her cheek. “This isn’t you. It’s a dream. Your name is Seth and you don’t look like this.”
The woman looked back at her family, tears starting to form in her eyes. “But if I’m like this, they get to live. If I stay like this, I at least have my family.”
Varric approached and put a hand on her forearm. She looked back at the dwarf, tears rolling down her face. “But this isn’t your life. You wouldn’t be happy living here, trapped in a body that isn’t your own. You know it’s a dream Hawke. You can’t stay here.”
Samantha looked back down at her hands and let herself fully cry. “But my family!”
Anders pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back. “We’re your family,” he said.
The village started to fade away, the field vanished and the twins disappeared. Leandra and Malcom drifted away along with their house and they were all left in the Fade once more.
A bright light surrounded Hawke, but Anders didn’t let go, until Hawke finally pushed away.
Anders, Fenris, and Varric all let out a sigh of relief as Seth appeared, his hair shoulder length now and in it’s half-bun. His face pointed and angular with a black stubble growing all along his chin. He chest was flatter and his body a bit more broad. Yet those red eyes were still the same, just filled with tears now. Anders simply smiled and kissed Seth, relieved to see his lover again.
Varric and Fenris coughed and once the two lovers pulled away, Seth sighed. “Thank you guys for saving me. I…I can’t believe I let myself be consumed by a dream like that, even becoming something I wasn’t.”
“I must say, this was an interesting and surprising fact to learn,” Fenris admitted.
Seth let out a dry chuckle. “It’s something I struggled with a bit growing up. But my mother and father were supportive. I was twelve around the time I started changing. When I no longer wanted to be a woman. When I had to finally become a man.” Seth looked down at himself and smiled. “It feels good to be back.”
Anders nodded his agreement. “It is certainly nice to have my Seth back.”
Seth beamed and took Anders’s hand in his own. “Well, shall we get going? I suspect you know of a way to get us out of here?”
Anders tapped his chin. “Erm…Well…”
“Mage…” Fenris growled.
Anders laughed nervously. “I might have forgotten an important part of this method was making sure there was someone on the outside to get us back in the real world.”
Everyone looked at Anders in shock.
“You’ve got to be kidding Blondie,” Varric shouted.
“I’m going to kill him,” Fenris growled.
Suddenly, Anders’s eyes flashed blue and cold fire burst from his feet, swirling around him. Seth let go of his hand and backed up as the fire settled and blue cracks formed on Anders’s body. “Justice, please tell me you can get us out of here,” Seth asked the spirit who had finally appeared.
Varric almost shit himself when the spirit’s eyes rolled and let out an exasperated sigh. It was such a human response that he had not expected the angry spirit of Justice to ever make.
“I tried to tell Anders, but he refused to listen,” Justice groaned. “Yes, I can get us out of here. It will take time and considerable energy. Anders may not wake up for a long while once we return to the physical world.”
“That’s what he gets,” Fenris snarled.
Seth let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah yeah, let’s just get out of here.”
Justice managed to manipulate the Fade just enough that the four of them were able to leave and all appeared in the same area Anders had cast the spell to begin with. As Justice said, Anders was unconscious for the next few hours, but eventually recovered. Though not without being berated by Fenris for a bit.
my oc Min’na Lavellan and solas hhhh ive been in love with him for months but havent ever felt like drawing something for dragon age so i FINALLY did something LMAO
i like to think that the inquisitors real eye color gets altered by the anchor or something like that, so hers are like a sickly green -- and that when the anchor flares so do her eyes. i also wanted to make her vallaslin extend farther down like a whole body tattoo but i was too lazy since i did this whole thing in one sitting.
two versions bc it was bothering me to have only the ugly bg one up. the backgrounds are ass i know but i never know what to do for them and i dont wanna just leave it blank cuz thats ugly. i just drew lil wispies for no real reason, maybe i could just say they’re in the Fade or some shit LMAOO
Confession: Shortly after my sister finished her DAI+Trespasser playthrough with her Fem!Lavellan, I had a dream with her Inquiz, the Inquisition crew and the DA2 gang in it. I don’t recall much more than scenes, like the Inquiz chasing a Harlequin through a tower and a voiceover of Sera saying “Got the gang back together, yah?” with a overhead group shot of everyone, but one scene has stuck with me the most. The Inquisitor, having gotten stuck in a blimp taking off, was rescued by Fenris in a ferris wheel gondola. That’s it. Fenris in a ferris wheel.
Anyone else play Dragon Age: Awakening and suddenly remember that part in Blackmarsh where you had to seal the tears in the veil... By DEactivating ancient elven artifacts? Solas, you son of a bitch...
fauxfires replied to your post:so since one of your fave pairings is fenhawke...
haha, genuinely curious how you went from romancing fenris ingame to writing what will end up being one of the longest handers fics on ao3??? justice’s deep voice that effective?
I had a lot of motivations for Accursed Ones. I hated the lack of reaction to necromancy, especially when the Warden could use pivotal corpses like Rowland or Jukka. I thought blood magic should be acknowledged, especially when there are some unavoidable tells, and I really wanted to address Anders ability to become a blood mage and how that conflicts with his hatred of it in DA2. I wanted more Origins magic in Dragon Age 2, especially shapeshifting.
Romance wise, I never liked the romance with Anders. I don’t like the bisexual erasure with a FemHawke, I didn’t like how retroactive Kanders felt, and I didn’t feel like Hawke could be as supportive as Anders deserved throughout the game. A lot of the flirting feels inappropriate, with one too many jokes about locking Anders up in the Circle or making light of his trauma. I’m also a huge fan of bromances, so that was where I left my Hawke with his relationship with Anders, and come Inquisition I’m only too glad I did.
I know a lot of people headcanon the monster line as Hawke protecting Anders, but I couldn’t. It was revolting, and it combined with his different tattoos and his sudden hatred of blood magic was enough for me to leave Hawke in the Fade. He felt like an impostor and I couldn’t stand the sight of him, but I wouldn’t want to take Anders’ lover from him if my Hawke had romanced him. Fenris doesn’t bother me quite as much. While he’s very Final Fantasy and his dialogue is downright ridiculous at times, I think he was treated relatively okay by the writers.
Anders is relentlessly vilified, and Accursed Ones is my attempt to defend him while simultaneously kicking the shit out of him. I may not have romanced him, but he is by far my favorite character in Dragon Age 2, and I think he deserved better.
As someone who also left Hawke in the Fade and save Alistair, I have to say that I both understand your sadness but respect your decision. It's almost better, I think -- Really, what chance did Alistair have in the Fade? Hawke's got this, they know what they're doing.
Yeeaah, that was part of my reasoning. I like my Hawke better, but between the two of them he stayed because I feel more confident with him dealing with it. Darkspawn are Alistair’s thing, while Hawke’s a maleficar -- demons (and templars) are his forte. But mainly it was about sticking true to character, and it’s what Hawke would do, so... yeh.
But if I’m overestimating his chances & it winds up being too sad in canon... i’ll retcon myself idgaf
