#fall 2011.

[neeshdageek]

that post gabby left on here <3.

i love her.

tonights pot luck was a success.

im so happy every one came out and got along with each other.

and the fooood, it was awesomeeeeeee.

[letthismix]

Can't deal. 

[beautifulboulevard]

He tells me he "loves" me every other day & instead of returning the favor, I just smile it off but on the inside I feel like a total dick for doing so.

I ask him, "how do you know you love me?" & he'll reply, "How do you know you're hungry? You just know, you feel it. Duh."

And, yet I still manage to laugh it off, but I know he just might really mean it.

Crazy how the tables turn, when you're so use to being the first one to love someone, then later on in life, you end up meeting that one person that happens to love you first.

It leaves me speechless, & I've mastered dodging all things involving love, relationships, marriage, holding hands for more than a minute, making eye contact; things of that nature. I guess it's because the past taught me a valuable lesson(s), which is love hurts & expectations can ruin great things. 

And so, I try to make it clear to him that his "I love yous" will only lead to him expecting to hear it back, and when I don't say it back, just know that it's not to be rude but rather to  protect.... us.

But, every day goes by and without any fear in his eyes he looks at me & says, "I love you." & answers back for me with a roll of his eyes & a grin on his face, "Yup, and she loves you, too."

[letthismix]

Basically, I'm going to internally cry until thursday night. 

[letthismix]

I need it to be next week right now. 

[letthismix]

People and Things.

[nagooyen-blog]

Satiated.

Everything is in full bloom. Forward, march. Full steam ahead. It feels like I'm sprinting through the year already. A little over a week ago, I was enjoying the last remnants of my summer vacation. Now, I'm steeling myself for tough academic days, working 2 jobs, athletics, and extra-curricular activities. I feel accustomed to everything, having already gone through a year of college.

It's invigorating. Some people would get swamped, people with a lower stress resilience (learned this in abnormal psych). I see things as a challenge, a challenge that I take head on. Managing my time has grown from a weakness to a pinpoint science for me. Juggling schoolwork, athletics, meetings, and jobs has become second nature.

Overcoming these blockades only stimulates me to reach for more. Successfully managing my time is satisfying. Achieving my goals makes me smile.

I am on top of things. I am loving this year.

[letthismix]

Finally, I have a plan. 

(and it only has to do with me, for once.) 

Hi, right now.