For instance, if you need reservations for a pizza place, well that sounds fucking fancy and I don't need that dram in my life. UNLESS we're talking about Taconelli's in Port Richmond, which is about as unfancy as you can get, with big booths, red plastic trays and 20 ounce fountain sodas. But their pizza is in such high demand you have to call at 10am to reserve your dough.
Or if we're talking about fancy ingredients, the line is blurry. Eggplant can be fancy but it also can be old school Jersey Italian pizzeria style. What if the pizza place has both fancy and unfancy ingredients, like Piccini's which had Old Bay Pizza but also a pizza with goat cheese and creme fraiche? Does that make it fancy or unfancy? Is it possible to get an unfancy pizza at a fancy pizza place?
I felt torn when Amalle suggested we go to Forcella's. Working in its favor: It was super close to the weird parking lot where we had just seen one of the best standup comedy shows I've ever seen*(and I've seen a lot**). And I had certainly heard about Forcella's. It's supposed to have one of the best pizzas in NYC, and there's often lines out the door. But, working against it, there's the fancy factor. It's in Williamsburg, it's a little pricey, and it's a little snooty. But there was one major deciding factor for me: fancy or no, this place makes deep fried pizza. Can deep fried pizza in a fancy restaurant be unfancy? I really hoped so.
I quickly developed a sinking feeling in my stomach when we walked in. This was clearly a fancy pizza joint, and a look at the menu made this starkly apparent. Truffle oil was all over that shit. I don't even know what Pancetta is, but unless it means "crushed up Cheetos," I'm pretty sure it's a marker of a fancy pizza place.
While we were deciding what to order, the server came over. "Will one of the deep fried pizzas serve three people?" "Well, it depends how hungry you are," he responded. Apparently the answer was "not at all" because the pizza they served us was not enough for a freaking appetizer, let alone a meal for three people who love food.
The deep fried pizza(aka Montanara) is apparently an old school Naples style of pizza. They flash fry the crust, then throw the toppings on, put it in a pan and bake it. I'll put it this way: it wasn't bad. The crust was a little bit crunchy on the outside, a little bit chewy on the inside, and burnt in some spots but in a way that it worked. It came with a sauce that was light, sweet, and tomatoe-y, along with bufala mozzarella.
The taste was good, but the eating of it was tricky. The crust was a little slippy because of the oil and couldn't hold the toppings. The cheese slid right off. And the size was awkward: too little for three (or even two), too big for one. Tina was really stuck on the size: "I don't know why you'd want to make a pizza that small."
We ordered another pizza since we were still hungry. We went with a normal brick oven pizza this time, Marinara. We must've misread the menu, but it was all sauce and basil. Maybe a smidge of pecorrino. Tina and I are in agreement: pizza needs cheese to hold it up. Amalle likes pizza without cheese, but I think Amalle delights in eating undelicious things. The pizza was fine, but nothing special and it definitely landed in the fancy end of the scale. I had failed at my task, and I shamefully present this, my fancy pizza rundown.
Place: Forcella
Pepsi: No
Price: 11" marinara pizza $9, 10" fried pizza $10
Setting: Faux fancy, of course because we're in Williamsburg. It's set up kind of European cafe-ish--an open space with uncomfortable minimalist tables placed too close together. I would call this "rustic" in the fakest way possible. There's an open kitchen in the back, lots of mirrors in wooden frames and photos hanging on the walls.
Notable: There's awards on the wall from the Pizza World Cup. PIZZA WORLD CUP. OMFG PIZZA WORLD CUP. Listen, what the hell is that and please can you take me there? Unless it's all crispy thin pizza with lots of sauce and little cheese. Then forget it dude, I'm solid.
Weird Menu Items: There weren't too many weirdo items because, let's be honest, this is a fancy pizza place. But on the weekends there's a breakfast pizza!! I definitely need to put some energy into breakfast pizza exploration.
*For those comedy nerds out there, take a deep breath. The lineup was Kristen Schall, Kurt Braunholer, Eugene Mirman, John Oliver, Mike Birbiglia and Bobcat Goldthwait. FOR FREE. What.
**For more details, please go to my comedy blog, takeyrdanieltoshandshoveit.tumblr.com
