#fandom gothic

[rrat-king]

Fantasy High Fandom Gothic

fabian is dating riz. actually he is dating ragh. fabian is gay and masculinity is dead. actually he is bi and dating adaine, but also riz, they are poly now. he’s dating gorgug. him and the sexy rat have a thing on the side. who is aelwyn. who is mazey.

found family is the name of the game. who will adaine be adopted by next? how many dads can fig accumulate? fabian moves into mordred. the applebees siblings move into mordred. all of the rat grinders have been redeemed and move into mordred. except for kipperlilly. or especially kipperlilly. the fandom is in a civil war over the inherent nature of kipperlilly copperkettle.

gorgug is 14. gorgug is 18. it's always the first day of school. or the summer before junior year. or senior year. the bad kids will perpeutally be in highschool. gorgug is stuck in a time loop and will be 16 forever. adaine is also in the time loop. it's baron's fault. it's kalina's fault. she's been here the whole time.

everyone is trans. in what way? everyway. fig is transfemme except when he's transmasc. fabian is a magical girl. kristen lost her gender several deaths ago. riz has a secret goblin gender that no one can get to. he's also transmasc.

adaine is a werewolf. fabian is a vampire. riz is an angel. who is tracker o'shaughnessey?

the bad kids are vigilantes. they are planning a heist. they are at summer camp. they are at school but different. they are in a band. they are in school but differnt and also in a band. they are pirates. they play hockey. kalina is also there.

the house is divided between the masses and the rat grumblrs. the rat grundlers. the ring gingers. rungle.

there is no canon. everything is canon. legends fortell of the game master uttering prophetic words in campaigns adjacent to our own that riz is ace. the artist we all know and love for her canon masterpeices is said to have drawn coded rings. the top pairing on ao3 is fabriz. the fandom is in tatters.

[bigskydreaming]

Reverse fandom gatekeeping: there's no problem getting into the fandom but once you're in there's no getting out. You'll never leave alive.

[shadow-djinni]

Fandom Flagship Gothic

you open the archive to the front page. all of the fics are new. you open one. you've read it before. you've read all of them before. why are they new?

someone posts a rec list. you've read all of the fics on it.

someone else posts a rec list. you don't recognize any of the titles.

you open the first fic. you've read it before.

someone recs you a new author. "they're really good!!!" they say. "such a fresh take on the pairing!!!"

you open their ao3 page. their account was created three weeks from now.

you've read all of their fics. you read them years ago.

when you check their account the next day, it never existed.

someone passes around a rec list of all the biggest names in fandom. you don't recognize any of them. you recognize all of them.

all of their fics are exactly the same. every single one of them. smaller and smaller down into infinity.

there is nothing new to read. you open a fic you've read a thousand times. you do not recognize it.

[myastoners]

highlights from my third viewing of cats (2019)

out of every past viewing, this is the best. why? because an entire group of people reserve the back row seats right behind us, and are flipping their shit the whole time. i would like to buy them drinks

this is also the most crowded theater out of my three (3) viewings. there are a few children. two boomers sitting next to us tell us to shut up in only the first five minutes of the film. they quickly learn not to bother trying

pix and i have already seen this. harper is new to this. harper is afraid

pix and i know all the previews. we know the sonic trailer by heart. we can recite the trolls 3 trailer word for word. our hearts soar at the sight of the in the heights trailer. it represents hope, faith in the fact that not all movie-musical adaptations may be lost to us.

the lights dim. i am watching cats for a third time, and the lights are dimming, and i think i may die in this theater

i know all the words. i hate that i know all the words.

pix keeps a counter for how many times they say the word “jellicle” in the film. so many times. so many.

the first song does not garner much audience reaction. but the jellicle counter is at about 54. by the end of the first. song.

rebel wilson scratches her taint. this is when the theater erupts into laughter, and the real journey begins

people groan when the mice show up, people cry when the roaches start dancing, people openly scream when rebel wilson takes off her skin

jason derulo sprays everyone with milk. the guy behind me sounds like he’s crying

james corden is here. james corden is given a champagne cumshot directly to the face. somebody shouts, “oh HELL no”

every time a cat nuzzles/almost kisses another cat, everyone makes various noises of discomfort

at some point, a small child yells, “IT’S NOT FUNNY!” this, naturally, only provokes more laughter

victoria sings the shitty song taylor swift wrote for the movie. pix seizes the opportunity to go to the bathroom. she comes back and the song has only just started. pix sighs dejectedly

dame judi dench is here. harper begins to openly weep

sir ian mckellen laps directly from a bowl of water. “ooooooookaaaayyy,” someone says

pix’s counter must be at at least 85 by now

it slowly dawns on me that this is the third time i have seen this movie. and i know all the words. i begin to dissociate

skimbleshanks the railway cat sings his song. he starts to tap dance. people start cheering. pix is saluting

people whoop and clap when skimbleshanks spins into the air at the end of his song. the cheers immediately turn to cries of horror as idris elba whisks him away. everyone in this theater has become a skimbleshanks stan

what time is it? is it nighttime outside? what day is it? what year is it? i think i still have homework to do. who am i? i can’t remember. all i know is cats, cats, cats

the napkins i grabbed are stuck in a soggy mess to the bottom of my slushie cup. shit.

taylor swift descends from the heavens and causes a mass cat orgy. this in turn causes a mass audience breakdown . someone shouts, “these cats are so HORNY.” he’s right. these cats are very horny

idris elba is naked. shrieks elicit from the crowd

mr. mistoffelees sings his song. people clap and cheer at the end again, but the applause tapers off into groans as mistoffelees nuzzles victoria.

i whisper in harper’s ear, “he gave us no choice but to stan.” she nods. her eyes have a glazed look to them

somebody yells, “NO” in pure disbelief as rebel wilson once again removes her skin, this time as a major plot point

time is no longer relative. nothing is real

dame judi dench speaks directly into the camera for a solid twenty minutes. people aren’t even trying to hide it. they’re just talking over it, at how absurd this movie is

the movie ends. it receives a standing ovation

i avert my eyes as the boomers pass us on their way to the exits. i hope it wasn’t ruined for them

it probably was

but who goes to see cats unironically anyway

we make it outside. it is uncomfortably warm. it is daylight. not a sound from the pavement. has the moon sun lost her memory? she is smiling alone.

oh god

harper looks blank. pix is tweeting about it, immune at this point to cats and everything it stands for

“anyway,” i say. my voice sounds like it’s coming from far away. “stan skimbleshanks the railway cat.”

the others murmur words of agreement.

i have two tests tomorrow, i realize. and i have not studied for either of them

cats has changed me as a man. for the better? for the worse? i don’t know. i don’t know.

final jellicle count: 135

[one-sane-boring-fandom]

dghda fandom gothic

Max has tweeted something else incredibly cryptic. You don't know what is going on. What does this mean. What does any of this mean. Is there a point. A single tear slides down your face as you whisper to yourself "everything is connected." You must put together the clues. You finally read the comics. You are excited. You finish the comic. You are not excited anymore. How did they get that bullshit from the gayest show on earth. You do not know. You flip back to the page of baby dirk and cry for three years. It's 3 am and you don't know where you are anymore. You have ascended time and space. "Just one more." You click on the brotzly fanfic. There will not just be one more. You are emotionally compromised. You have just remembered how fucked up everyone is. You want to hug dirk. You remember that he is a fictional character. You curl into a ball and write elaborate fluffy AUs in your head. "Please..." you whisper to no one in particular as sleep finally claims you, "Validate... the sunshine man." You see yet another angsty post. Please. No more. You reblog it 5 times and sincerely hope there is more. You dream of max. He is always there, looming over your subconscious. He is the voice in your head. He controls you. He is omnipresent. You start to think that maybe the universe was a metaphor for him all along. There. You have finally solved it. Etsevez is alive in your heart but you know, deep down, that he absolutely will be in season 2. He has to be. There is no other option. You want to throw both Todd and Friedkin off a cliff. Just slightly less for Todd. You don't want to kill Todd. Just maybe maim him a little. Just a little. Friedkin can fucking die. You wonder why you didn't include riggins. You remember you already killed him.

[asexualchloe]

Once and Future Nerd Fandom Gothic

You look in the tag. Nothing. You post something. It does not show up. The tag is empty. It has always been empty and always will be empty. 

You check your activity page and find that the official tumblr has reblogged your post. You check the tag. Nothing. You don't know how they found it. 

You recommend the podcast to a friend. They say they'll be sure to listen. You know I'm your heart of hearts they are lying. 

You read the post again. You spelled all of the characters’ names wrong. For some reason, you have spelled Billy with one L and two Ys. Instead of typing Iorden, you have typed both Lorden and Yorden. You have spelled Mag Uidhir in seven different ways and you don't know if you have gotten it right once. Somehow, you spelled Yllowyyn correctly. This causes further consternation.

You recommend the podcast to a friend. Maybe they will be the one. "I tried," they say. "But they killed a rabbit and I don't like stereotypical jocks!" You try to explain that breaking tropes is the point, but they don't listen. They never listen.

You check your podcast app. New episode! You look forward to it, but know it will contain no answers, only more disturbing questions about the nature of systemic racism. The lesbians are not safe. When will the lesbians be safe? Every day you pray for them. 

You check the tag again, only to find a new post for the first time in three millennia. "Wow, this is a great podcast!" It says, "Why is the tag empty?" You know the truth. You know they will learn it soon enough. 

You recommend the podcast to a friend. You recommend the podcast to a friend. A tear slips down your face. You check the tag. It is empty.

[pussy-and-cars]

David Bowie fandom Gothic

People keep telling you he has different coloured eyes. You correct them. It keeps happening again and again and again. There's no end to this torture.

There's a lightning bolt photoshopped onto a photo of him from every era. You don't know what's true anymore. Could the real Aladdin Sane please stand up?

David Bowie collaborates or was friends with an artist/musician. You are now a fan of said artist/musician. You have no choice in the matter.

Everyone both simultaneously loves and hates Labyrinth.

Some of his films are completely lost to time, has anyone actually seen B.U.S.T.E.D?

There's is so many unnofficial biographies and they are all both fiction and non-fiction at the same time.

You copy his haircut. Your next haircut is another one of his haircuts. And the next. There's no escape.

David Bowie is always simulatenously lying and telling the truth. You can never tell. Was he being serious in that one interview in 19xx?

You start noticing clothes that you think he'd wear, but they're so ugly that you could never pull them off like he did

Every magazine is just another source of new posters.

David Bowie makes you question your gender identity and sexuality. These feelings didn't exist before you found him, or did they?

You meet other Bowie fans. Somehow they are all the same, but different.

You don't know her, but you trust Iman

Every now and then, you just get sad thinking about him.

[irisbleufic]

now i'm wondering if you ever sleep at all. you are the definition of fandom gothic. you mistake 3 am for midnight. you update your longfics with like 5k chapters every 1-4 days. you answer asks and comments faster than any entity i know on the internet. like. are you immortal.

This ask is too charmingly bizarre for me to attempt a serious answer.

(Being the definition of fandom gothic, though, would be a neat legacy!)