This post continues from my previous analysis, "WHO LIT THE MATCH?" — specifically section 5.) Loyalty Worn Two Ways, where I compared Lily Evans’ loyalty to that of Bellatrix Lestrange. The response to that post made it clear: we need to talk about Lily.
"She was written with strong loyalty."
That’s what they say.
But loyalty, when selectively applied, isn’t virtue — it’s comfort dressed as conviction.
Let’s talk about Lily Evans.
The girl who stood up to bullies — sometimes.
The girl who defended Severus — once.
The girl who walked away — and never looked back.
🔨 The Double Standard No One Wants to Name
Lily called Severus’ Slytherin friends cruel when they hexed others.
"You think that’s funny?" she asked. "You think that’s all just a laugh?"
But when the Marauders hexed Severus in front of a crowd — dangled him upside-down, flashed his underwear to the world, humiliated him — it was brushed off as mischief.
She scolded James, sure. Called him a “bullying toerag.”
But she didn’t disown him. Didn’t stop speaking to him.
She married him.
Why is one hex cruelty, and the other mischief?
Why is one unforgivable, and the other… flirtation?
When Severus defended a fellow Slytherin, it became proof he was on the wrong path.
When James hexed Severus, it was part of the journey to redemption.
Lily’s moral compass didn’t shatter — it shifted.
And Severus saw it happen in real time.
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🎭 The Performance of Principle
It wasn’t just the bullying.
It was how she measured it.
Lily had the self-righteousness of someone who meant well — but only when it was safe to mean well.
She never went after Sirius, who cast the spells.
She never called out Remus, who stood by and did nothing.
She never looked James in the eye and said, “You humiliated my best friend and I won’t stand for it.”
Instead, she turned to Severus, and said:
“You’re choosing the wrong people.”
They all did. And yet only one was punished for it.
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🔍 She Forgave James — But Never Severus
This is where the comparison starts to sting.
Lily was willing to believe James could change.
But not Severus.
She gave grace to the boy who tortured her friend — but not to the friend who broke under pressure.
She extended second chances to the boy she dated — but cut off the one who needed her most.
That’s not just a mistake.
That’s selective loyalty.
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⚠️ Not Villainy — But Still a Problem
This post isn’t about demonising Lily Evans.
She was young. She was flawed. She was human.
But so was Severus.
And for a fandom that preaches kindness and forgiveness, it’s strange how selective that kindness becomes when his name enters the room.
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♾️ Coming Full Circle
When Bellatrix was loyal, she was honest about it.
When Lily was loyal, she chose who earned it — and who didn’t.
One was mad. One was adored.
But both were uncompromising.
Maybe that’s what makes it hurt.
Lily believed in goodness. Just… not always in the people who needed her to.
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Related post: WHO LIT THE MATCH?
Coming up next: The Devotion That Never Grew Up
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If you found this post stirring, you may also like…
A collection of emotional deep-dives into Severus Snape—the man who endured, unravelled, and remained:
Severus Snape: Widower of the Living
The Virgin Theory: Severus Snape, and the Sanctity of Unlived Intimacy
The Dignity of Suffering in Silence: Snape as the Ghost of a Living Man
I always feel weird when I see people shipping Allura with Romelle, because as someone who grew up watching DOTU, where they were COUSINS, even if they aren't in VLD, it still feels wrong to me.
Atiny is the strangest fandom out there. I mean no shade by that, since anyone shall do absolutely what they wish and I ultimately think there’s a lot of different way of being a fan. But Atiny, in my subjective opinion, is quite different of other kpop fandoms I interact with, albeit from afar I have to confess.
Atinies don’t seem very organized. Except for GO to order merch or albums, to win raffles or fan calls, it seems there is nothing to coordinate fan projects or streaming/voting, apart from some calls from bigger individual accounts that I’ve seen trying to rally people. For instance, in some fandoms, I’ve seen unofficial fanclubs organizing coffee trucks for a specific event or a member birthday. I don’t think those things happen for Ateez? Atinies are mainly international fans, so it’s probably harder to organize stuff like that. The fandom seems diverse, with young and older fans around, who may not have the time (me included). It also seems Atinies are often multi-fandom fans, which is for Atinies a good thing (more fun!) but for Ateez kind of bad news (less dedication).
Atinies seem very laidback (except on X maybe). I see some discontent here on X on plagiarism, and a small bubble of discontent of Yeodungies to protest YS’ AAA treatment.
There is positivity having a laidback fandom, it means that probably if one of the members wish to suddenly date, he probably won’t get too much hate from some delulu fans. The fandom isn’t carrying a bad reputation like some other, more “protective” shall I say of their group and with enough weight to make some fuss. It's easy to be included in the fandom, people are having fun, which is great.
The setback of that laidback fandom if that nobody fears to disrespect Ateez since there will be no consequences. On another point of view, since Atinies are laidback, it’s also fine not to provide the best of fan experience: bad communication for events, last minute merch sales that are supposedly offline then online, late delivery for orders without communicating, etc. Being a small company is not an excuse; you do buy everyday from some companies and they know better to provide enough customer service so they can continue doing business. All of that, Atiny as a fandom seems to accept it. I find that astonishing. KQ is apparently not the worst out there concerning how they manage their group, but a fandom should be more demanding on some aspects and I don’t see Atiny is organized enough to be able to do so.
On another note, I realize that for the success Ateez have, Atiny on international SNS are not that many? who's gonna organize then.
Okay I’m going to say this in the nicest way possible but when it comes to shipping pairings in general will have weeks dedicated to creating fanart, fan fiction, edits, and etc. Especially if the couples tend to be really popular; more people will just gravitate towards those pairings because of the material that is given through the shows manga/anime.
I personally have no problems with Graylu (in fact I actually really love their bond) and hoped that they would have more interactions in the manga/anime. However if the main issue is simply that you just want to see more people appreciate the pairing why not just come together with other Graylu shippers to create a week/month where you want to spread love for the pairing? I understand feeling frustrated by shipping something that feels under appreciated but focusing on something you can’t stand and complaining about that dosen’t really solve your problem.
Coming from personal fandom experience; with regards to shipping the focus on fandoms and how shipping worked use to be about just shipping whoever you wanted whether the two people were hinted at being romantic love interests or if said characters didn’t really interact a whole lot but were just fun to pair up. I do believe that specially during pandemic era a lot of people focused on the word “canon” and that really morphed the way people went about what ships they were rooting for. Again; I am saying this as a Nalu and Gruvia shipper myself but whatever tends to be more popular will naturally have more people shipping them; that’s just the way it is (no matter what fandom your in)
However that dosen’t mean you can’t ship whatever you want and come together with other people who agree with you. Obviously we both don’t agree with what we ship (I mean that’s only natural) but I believe that everyone should have a place where they feel comfortable talking about the ships they love (whether it’s something that’s going to be canon or simply just for fun)
One last thing you mentioned that you couldn’t talk about Graylu because people keep telling you that “it dosent make sense” and that “Lucy belongs to Natsu” (which myself as a Nalu shipper do not agree on the idea that any character belongs to another because they are there own individuals first and foremost). Just curate your own space if you don’t want to see stuff like that.
📌 Disclaimer: This post explores the consequences of overlooked cruelty and conditional loyalty in canon. It is not hate, but an analysis of what was always there—between the lines.
I've found myself wondering lately—not about the war, but about who is really to blame for Harry Potter's orphaning. Not the prophecy. Not Voldemort. But something far more human. Something that began years earlier, between school desks and shadowed corridors.
When I think back to how the Potters—James and Lily—treated Severus Snape, it becomes difficult to ignore the cracks in their legacy. Their actions may not have launched a war upon the wizarding world, but they set in motion the chain of consequences that ensured their own tragic deaths.
James Potter Dug His Own Grave, and Lily Helped Bury Him
A study in fatal choices, selective mercy, and the boy they all pushed too far
Let’s stop pretending that Voldemort was the true architect of James and Lily Potter’s deaths.
He may have cast the spell, but he wasn’t the first hand that reached for ruin.
The match?
The firestarter?
James Potter.
You want to know when he truly began dying?
Not in Godric’s Hollow. Not with the prophecy.
It began in the Hogwarts courtyard, hexing Severus Snape upside down while his friends laughed—and Lily Evans stood by and watched.
That was the first domino.
That was the beginning of the end.
1.) James Potter — Pride Before the Fall
He wasn’t just arrogant. He was adored. Brilliant. Entitled.
And he obsessed over humiliating one boy: Severus Snape.
Daily bullying wasn’t incidental—it was a ritual. A show. A performance.
In front of Lily. In front of the school.
In front of a boy who already had nothing.
And boys like that?
They remember.
They carry pain like a second skin. One hex at a time.
Until eventually, they snap.
2.) The Prophecy Wasn’t the Catalyst — James Was
Let’s speak plainly:
If James hadn’t tormented Severus, Severus might never have lost Lily. If he hadn’t lost Lily, he may still have found himself drawn to the Death Eaters— that pull of power, belonging, and vengeance was strong, and the world offered him little else.
But had she stayed by his side, had she not married James— then even if Severus had strayed, he might have avoided joining altogether—or at the very least, he would have had a reason to come back sooner.
The prophecy wouldn’t have reached Voldemort. Godric’s Hollow would never have fallen.
James didn’t just "grow up." He matured far too late—when the boy he shattered had already become the man who would haunt his legacy.
3.) Lily Evans — Selective Loyalty Isn’t Loyalty
Let’s strip the sepia tones from her story.
Lily Evans is painted as kind. Bright. Morally upright. But when we examine her more closely, her halo slips.
She watched Severus be humiliated—repeatedly. She intervened once. With exasperation, not protection.
And then came the infamous "Mudblood" moment. Yes, it was cruel. But it came after years of torment. After public humiliation. After watching him suffer.
And she walked away. Not with heartbreak. Not with hesitation. With finality.
4.) Then She Married His Abuser
Let that sentence sit.
She didn’t just abandon Severus. She married the boy who hexed him for sport. The boy who made his life unbearable.
She chose the one who mocked his trauma. She built a home with him.
5.) Loyalty Worn Two Ways
There is a reason Lily Evans is remembered as a symbol of selfless love. She died for her son. She stood her ground. She shone brightly.
But when it comes to loyalty? The truth becomes far more complicated.
Her loyalty had limits. Conditions. She forgave James, the tormentor, with grace. Yet she could not forgive Severus, the boy she had known since childhood, for one moment of desperation.
Selective loyalty is not loyalty.
It is a mask—polished, palatable, socially acceptable.
It is protection offered only when it aligns with comfort.
You know who else had unwavering loyalty?
Bellatrix.
At least Bellatrix was honest about it.
She chose a side and stayed there. Her loyalty, though horrifying, was unshakeable.
I once stumbled across a poll—one of those blunt, brutal ones on Tumblr. It asked who the greatest "bitch" in the entire series was. Bellatrix took the lion’s share, of course—mad, murderous, monstrous. But Lily? Her name still surfaced—pulling nearly half the votes Bellatrix received. A reminder that not everyone forgot the cracks beneath her shine.
And maybe, just maybe, some of those voters saw the same thing I did. A woman praised for loyalty, but whose mercy had terms.
Let’s lay it bare, shall we? A portrait of loyalty—one side robed in virtue, the other in violence. But both telling the same story.
Here’s the comparison I made:
Looking at them side by side, it’s almost uncomfortable how close their behaviours align—yet one is vilified while the other is celebrated. Bellatrix was honest in her devotion. Lily was praised for hers. But in practice? Loyalty, when selective, stops being virtue and starts becoming a performance. That’s where the story fractures—and where I’ll begin next.
Some may call this harsh—but when I looked closer, Lily’s “loyalty” didn’t seem as universal as the narrative paints it. There’s more to say, and it deserves space.
I’ll explain why I stand by that observation in the next post.
6. ) The Real Tragedy?
Severus loved Lily more than she ever loved him. Not in the obsessive way fandom paints him. But in the quiet, unwavering, lifelong way.
He protected her even after she left him. He protected her son. He died with her name on his lips.
She gave him nothing back.
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The Truth Buried Beneath the Wreckage
This war didn’t begin with a prophecy. It began when no one stood beside a boy who was bleeding in plain sight. When the only one who could’ve saved him—walked away.
James Potter died a hero. But he died the architect of his own ruin.
And Lily Evans? She abandoned the boy who loved her and built her life with the one who destroyed him.
Snily and Marauders fans, please don’t take offence—I merely pointed something out. This isn’t hate. It’s truth.
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Related posts in the same series:
Selective Loyalty and the Lily Problem
The Devotion That Never Grew Up (Coming up next)
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If you found this post stirring, you may also like…
A collection of emotional deep-dives into Severus Snape—the man who endured, unravelled, and remained:
Severus Snape: Widower of the Living
The Virgin Theory: Severus Snape, and the Sanctity of Unlived Intimacy
The Dignity of Suffering in Silence: Snape as the Ghost of a Living Man
