Hey! My name is Lie and I’m in the market for a new RP! Right now I’m mainly interested in a Helluva Boss RP! I'm specifically looking for a Fizzarolli x Asmodeus plotline. I have TONS of scenario and plot ideas for these two, so we'll NEVER be in a shortage of things to do!! I would also like to play as Fizz.
About me
- I’m a 23 year old woman
- I usually write at least a paragraph or two. I would call myself semi-lit to literate. I also write in third person.
- I’m fairly active and will probably reply at least twice a day, usually more, but there are times where I may not reply for a day!
- I’m happy to play multiple characters if needed
- I love getting into the nitty gritty of things. NSFW/smut, hurt, angst, I eat that shit up >:)
What I look for in a partner
- I dont mind your gender, but please be 18+ as well as any characters you play. Absolutely no exceptions
- Please be able to help me with the plot ideas as well as setting up the roleplay. If you don’t plan to contribute to the plot at all, please do not message me. I don’t mind being the main one to come up with ideas and push things along, but it gets very frustrating being the only one to do so
- I am looking for someone fairly active. If you're a once a week poster, we might not be the best fit.
- Don’t control my character or power play. I will return the favor.
- I don’t mind how much you write, as long as I have something to reply to. But please do have decent grammar and write past tense in third person
- Please be open to potentially sensitive topics. Doesn’t have to be anything too extreme, but if you’re completely against it, we are not a good fit.
- Please be open to NSFW. It doesn't have to come up often at all, but if you're completely closed to it, we're not a good fit.
- Please don’t rush me to reply. If it’s been a day, feel free to send me a reminder.
If this sounds interesting to you, please shoot me a message with a little bit about yourself!
I am once again looking for role plays. I am 33, female. I enjoy smut in my roleplays, and drama. I like to break characters down and smut them back up. I double when the opportunity arises, but I hate always playing the dom character. Normally I do mxf, but I am also open to mxm! I love my gay men.
My current top want is yellowstone. I am dying to play against a Rip or Kayce. I would also play anyone you wanted for you.
My other wants are Vox Machina, Last of Us and Shadow and Bone. This is one on one on discord! Thank you!
I’m currently looking to do a fandom rp (MxF, OcXCc) in discord. I’m looking for certain characters, but it isn’t limited to them. Discord: tavern_maiden. I’m looking for detailed and long term rpers. I’m tired of being dropped without an explanation. +21 so I don’t get arrested for talking to a minor.
Fandoms I’m looking for: My Hero Academia (Hawks or Bakugo) , Marvel (Captain America or Loki), DC (Jason Todd or Dick Grayson), Genshin Impact (Alhaitham, Kaveh, Ayato, Childe, Diluc, Kaeya, or Itto), and Assassin’s Creed (Ezio).
The two characters that I have been trying the most to rp with forever are Ezio and Hawks. I hate having ideas and not being able to use them.
This is my first time ever posting on Tumblr, and since I barely ever do anything on here, I would like to make a big change.
Recently, I’ve been really in to RPing and wanted to find some RP partners that are interested in at least one of these fandom’s I am about to list.
TMMT/ROTTMNT. (2007, 2012, 2014-16.)
Ninjago.
Camp Camp.
Hazbin Hotel.
Helluva Boss.
Eddsworld.
TWDG.
Arcane.
Life is Strange.
HTTYD.
Spider-Verse.
Haikyuu.
MHA.
Attack on Titans.
Dispatch (Game, 2025.)
I’m more in to having OC’s and doubling up when it comes to RPs, so bare with me! Although, it does depend on my mood then I can manage on just playing a cannon one.
I want to expand my role plays to generate creative juices and I have confidence I could play a very cannon Alastor. (I’ve been following the series long enough to know about the Zoophobia comics and to have read some that have not been reposted yet.)
I only ask that the participants be minimum 16+, and, if anything even a little venereal in nature, 18+. I am not a minor, and I don’t want to be wrapped up in that sort of legal matter.
I have no issues with drugs, violence, mental health, and sexuality in a good story, as long as it’s not forced.
I myself identify as asexual but can get behind a well-written story that includes true human nature and honest personality.
So I’m looking for a Johnlock partner, literate paragraphs preferred. I usually play John and don’t mind NSFW. Please be over eighteen and wanting to be consistent/long term.
Here my email if interested in discussing prompts etc. I don’t bite I promise.
Dean sighed and rolled his eyes as he read the letter as he ate his breakfast at his desk. Once finished he picked up his pen and a parchment and wrote a reply.
Dear Royal Aide Novak,
I understand your worries and opinions about sharing the same quarters. As for last night, you were injured and even though we both knew you would be okay, not everyone does. For that reason, I asked you to stay in my quarters for the night, to show my guards and the men last night, that I would care for you.
With that being said, we can spend as much time apart until such time as we both feel comfortable sharing quarters. I would like to ask your opinions on what courtship mean, for I would suggest going out in public at least once a week, to suggest we are dating to the populous.
I sincerely hope your shoulder recovers quickly and smoothly.
Yours,
Dean.
Dean sent the letter back with his breakfast, knowing it would find Cas quickly.
Cas was buried in his studies once more when the note came though. He glanced over it, giving an eye roll himself before sighing and sending for Eve. He’d need to know what to wear and how to act in the public’s eye.Surely he’d be able to manage to piece something together before lunch with the King.
Eve came a few minutes later, knocking softly on the door with her head bowed in respect, as she waited for Cas to let her in.
Cas pulled open the door to the small quarters and motioned for her to enter, indicating a chair just on the other side of his overflowing desk. “Thank you for stopping by Eve. I was hoping to ask you a few questions. I’ll try and make it quick.” He offered.
“Of course Aide Novak.” Eve smiled, waiting by the chair until Cas had sat before she took her seat. “You know I am always happy to help you with any queries.” She smiled softly.
Cas just gave a nod as he sank into his chair and picked up his pen already back into his studies as he spoke to her. “I need to know the proper courting rituals between an Omega and Alpha. I also need to know what sort of dress code I should be expecting when going into public.” He offered simply.
“That depends on what type of outing you will be undertaking.” Eve explained. “May I be so bold as to presume it is about His Majesty?” She asked.
“Yes. You may.” He offered simply, not even bothering to glance up from his notes.
“What time of courting will this be? Will it be a meal? A stroll? Alone time in his quarters?” Eve asked softly, “or are you unsure at the moment?”
“I will need to know about all of them but for now a meal alone in his quarters and an informal public appearance.” He offered.
“For a meal alone, you would usually dress in something short and showing plenty of skin.” Eve explained, “with heels and makeup. For an informal appearance, I would suggest speaking with His Majesty, and discuss what type of Omega you would like to present as. If you would just like to be his Queen, it would be modest but extravagant and pretty. If you are to take a more active roll, then I would suggest something such as your formal Aide wear, but more extravagant and finer to show power.” Eve explained.
Cas glanced up, giving a flat look at the mention of the flashy wear for a meal alone. That certainly was /not/ happening. He shook his head and went back to his notes “Why is it ‘just a Queen’ is more concerned about ‘pretty’ appearances while a ‘formal Aide’ is considered to have power? Wouldn’t the Queen have more power than the Aide?”
“No no Aide Novak, you mistook. If you are wishing to become his Queen to have his pups and be a mother, then you would wear clothing designed for beauty. If you are wishing to become an equal to His Majesty, in the amount of power you have, and what you are wishing to do with it, then... I spoke with your first tailor, I would suggest something that looks like that, but more regal and expensive.” Eve explained, hoping that was clearer.
Cas’ brows furrowed at the words, glancing up; obviously still not understanding. “So a Queen is /not/ an equal to the King but rather just there to provide him with pups?” He scoffed. “It sounds to me that no one should wish to be Queen.”
“Aide Novak, most Omegas are trained from a young age to just be there to provide pups. They know nothing more than how to mother.” Eve explained softly. “I am lucky that I have a job outside my family.”
Cas pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “I know… I just… forget how ridiculous it is sometimes.” He offered. “What happens if the king takes a consort instead of a Queen?” He asked curiously.
“Generally consorts are when the King takes a female Beta, or a Beta marries an Alpha. They have the same rules as Betas, so it isn’t unnatural to see them out alone in the Kingdom. They would also balance their family life with small undertakings. For example they may be asked to be in charge of the stables and paddocks. Or have a role in looking after the kitchens and choosing what food to import in, and the Royal menu.” Eve explained.
“And if the King chooses an Omega consort, and they have pups?” He asked with a brow arched?”
“As far as I’m aware, there has never been a consort who has been an Omega.” Eve explained with her head bowed.
“Or an Omega Knight Commander and yet here we are.” He offered. “Hypothetically, Eve… What would happen. The pups would not be bastards would they? THe consort could still keep their power?”
“If they would be married then the pups will never be bastards. The... title isn’t because of the title of the mother, but rather the status of her.” Eve explained.
“So if the Kind decided to propose I would not be required to become Queen and give up the power I have to avoid making any of my pups bastards?” He asked in a straightforward manner.
“Yes.” Eve nodded, “you could become the King Consort, and have His Majesty’s pups. Though I have heard rumours about the responsibility His Majesty would bestow upon you. In my humble opinion, I would become his Queen, and then change the laws to give myself the same rights as a King Consort.” She explained.
“And if I am not /allowed/ to change a law after I have become Queen?” He points out. “The Queen has no real power. It is possible that the possibility is offered to me before I agree to a proposal and then stripped from me the moment the vows are spoken and then I am stuck as nothing more than a glorified powerless brood mother.”
“That would be a question for His Majesty. I cannot answer for the King.” Eve replied softly.
“No…” Cas sighed before turning back to his work. “You can’t….” He added softly. He knew he was coming off a bit harsh but he was so tired of being forced to act or dress or present a certain way; like being himself wasn’t enough; never /would/ be enough. “Now about this public appearance; I will no be seen as a decoration. What would you suggest?”
“I have seen the... first attire you created for being an Aide, I believe that would be suitable, for an informational public appearance.” Eve explained.
Cas glanced up at that, relaxing a bit at the suggestion and offering a small smile. “Are you certain?” He asked already knowing that the woman wouldn’t have suggested it if she had not been. “Forgive me if I’ve come off a bit harsh today… I meant no offense in the least. I admire your opinions greatly. “ He reassured.
Eve shook her head, “all this is new to you, and you’ve been injured, I understand where these emotions are coming from.” She said softly. “This is a new step, you have no one to follow. But we are here to support you.”
He gave a small bow of his head. “Thank you.” He offered. “I am quite looking forward to you as an Aide. You will be an asset, that is certain.” He complimented before standing. “I’m afraid I’m going to be late for my lunch with the King. Would you perhaps send someone to speak with Celeste, the tailor. I’ll need more of the attire we created if I am going to be in public with him regularly. I trust her to do a good job.”
“Of course I will.” Eve smiled. “If I am to become your Aide, will there be a uniform I must adhere to?” She asked. “I would like to have it ready as soon as possible, preferably before I officially become your Aide after you marry.”
Cas couldn’t help but chuckle as he arched a brow. “/If/ I marry.” He corrected in a teasing tone. “You would know better than I, Eve.” He pointed out. “I’m sure there is some sore of dress code, there always is, though whatever it may be I’m certain we can make it far more tasteful if need be.”
“Aide Novak, there has never been Omega Aides before you, you are setting a precedence. There are no dress codes for us. You can set one.”
Cas nodded. "That is why I have you Eve. One of the many reasons." He offered with a smile. "Between the two of us I'm certain we can figure everything out. All I can do is wear what i can but you... you know what is proper and what is no overall and can help me guide the generations after us."
Eve nodded, “if I may suggest, I would ask Celeste to become an Aide to help with how Omegas are viewed, she has a better understanding of... fashion and Omegawear than I do.” Eve offered, as she smiled softly.
Cas offered another smile at the suggestion. "That is not a terrible idea Eve... I will consider it. When you see her could you ask her to come to my quarters after lunch?"
Eve nodded, “of course I will. It is always pleasant to speak with you, Aide Novak.” She smiled as she stood. “Good luck on your courtship, with His Majesty.” She smiled genuinely.
“As it is with you Eve.” He offered with a small bow. “Thank you… I’m going to need it.” He sighed, smile fading as he shut the door behind her and gathered his things to make his way to the King’s chambers.
Dean was sat in his office, completing the paperwork for the families’ his father had touched. He knew Cas would have an opinion on what he was doing but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
Cas greeted the guards pleasantly before knocking on the polished wooden doors of Dean's office softly and waiting.
“Come In.” Dean called, not expecting it to be Cas. He continued to work, not looking up as the door opened.
Cas entered with a large smile. "Hello, Dean." He offered in a chipper gravely tone, ensuring the soldiers heard him as he stepped inside. "I hope I'm not interrupting. I thought we could have lunch together?"
Dean blinked as he looked up, “Cas, I wasn’t expecting you. Please come on in, I’ll get lunch brought up now.” He smiled as he stood and held his hand out to Cas.
Cas took the without hesitation and for a moment, despite himself, he truly did want to wrap himself in the Alpha's arms. "I thought I would surprise you. Perhaps lighten your day a bit, I know you're always working so hard. Would you like the door open or closed, my love?" He asked.
“I’ll speak with my guards, darling, why don’t you make yourself comfortable in the lounge room?” Dean offered, pointing to a door on the left. “You’re looking beautiful as always.” He smiled softly.
Cas suddenly grew nervous, smile faltering a bit. Was Dean going to lock him inside or tell the guards he wasnt allowed to leave? "Of course." He offered. "Thank you." He mumbled at the compliment, moving towards the lounge.
Dean allowed Cas to go, before speaking with the guards to fetch up a wide range of food. He closed the door but as he moved through to the lounge, he left the door open. “I thought it would be more pleasant in here than my office.” He offered.
Cas nodded at the words, visibly relaxing a bit. "Yes, of course." He offered now that they were alone. "Have you locked yourself in here all morning?" He asked curiously. "You should really take a break once in a while."
“When I have completed this part.” Dean sat back in one of the soft chairs, facing the small fire. “How is your shoulder?” He asked gently, “has Gabriel been his usual self over it?”
A hand went to where Cas new the wound was, absently. "Its well enough, thank you." He offered politely. "I suppose he has. I certainly got an ear full this morning but luckily theyve kept him busy in the kitchens for most of the day so I can focus on my own studies."
“How are your studies going?” Dean asked, “I hope you’re not finding them too taxing.” He offered. “I’m always open if you wish for any help. Either via letter or face to face.” He offered.
"Thank you." He offered. "They're going fairly well. I've actually have always loved studying so I am quite enjoying it. Typically my questions involve etiquette and Eve is usually more than willing to assist me." He explained.
Dean nodded and smiled. “I can see Eve is very knowledgable.” He smiled softly. “Would you like a drink at all?” He offered, standing and going to the drinks cabinet.
"No, thank you." Cas replied, quite enjoying the friendly conversation for once. "Yes... she is. She has suggested I take Celeste as an Omega aide as well... I am considering it. I am suppose to meet her after out lunch. Do you know much about her?" He asked curiously.
Dean raised an eyebrow, “you’re still wanting Aides?” He asked before shaking his head as he poured himself a glass of scotch. “Forgive me. I- I haven’t spoken with her much, I’ve never had the need to. Though I know from Meg, that she can create the most incredibly fine and beautiful clothing, that always seems to be in the height of fashion.” Dean explained.
Cas hesitated at that, brows furrowing. “I… apologize.” He offered uncertainly. “Should I not have another Aide?” He asked in sincere curiosity, worried he might have stepped out of line. “I just thought… well… I don’t have any real education outside of a high ranking officer’s… I thought it best to surround myself with individuals who know more than I do in areas I was never privy…. Particularly that of an Omega… I certainly do not wish to let you or the Kingdom down… I was hoping this would help… If it is too much, I do not have to take her on.” He reassured.
“No no,” Dean frowned as he sat back down. “I merely thought you would take them when we thought you would be my Queen. After this, I am presuming you are no longer wishing for that to happen?” Dean asked, as he sipped his drink. “I wish to know where we stand.”
Cas tensed at the sudden change of subject but couldn’t say he wasn’t expecting it. “Well, Queen or not, I will need to be well versed on all things Omega.” He shrugged. “The Kingdom will expect a marriage proposal regardless, so a few Aides could help in cementing our image.” He offered before glancing down at his hands as they twisted in his lap. “To be honest, Dean… I don’t know where we stand. The situation is so muddled and backwards…” He sighed before leaning back in his chair. “Even if I were still considering marriage, which I am not sure I am,” He clarified. “Eve has explained to me how the title of Queen works and I would not be willing to put myself in that roll unless the laws were changed before hand. I realize there has never been an Omega consort but it seems to me that that would be a better option.” He explained. “Even if it is for Azra’il… I feel as if I’d be moving from one cage to another if I were to take on the role of Queen.” He sighed before pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation with himself. “As for us… I… I just don’t know Dean… Its all very confusing right now.”
Dean nodded. “I thought as much. I just don’t know where we stand. That is for you to decide alone.” He sighed and shook his head. “We pretend to be in love out there, but in here it seems... cold and almost hostile. I don’t know what we are so I don’t know how to respond to you, properly.”
Cas’ gaze narrowed at that, the look held no heat, just confusion. “Is there really a proper or inproper way when there is just the two of us?” He asked curiously. “I end up cold because I’m always terrified that if I say anything out of line you’ll grow angry with me again so I try to avoid that. But I do want you to be yourself. The few times that I have seen you just relax, away from the public eye, just the two of us… Has made me care for you a great deal but… I understand… why you hide… I do… I just… wish we could be ourselves around one another.” He sighed.
Dean shrugged softly. “I don’t even know if we’re friends or acquaintances, at the moment all I know is that you’re an Aide. You say we are friends, but each time we meet you recoil and look like you’re about to draw a sword on me.” Dean explained.
Cas gave a small huff of amusement. “Do I really?” He asked before his amusement faded and he nodded. “I suppose you’re right.” He sighed. “I consider us friends, for certain.” He reassured. “Though its obvious that I don’t hide my fear of you very well, despite my efforts.” He hummed.
“That’s why I don’t know how to act around you. I don’t know how to respond.” Dean sighed. “Until I know, I’ll treat you as another Aide, privately.”
Cas tried to keep from the small amused smile that played on his lips. “I’m sorry… Its just…” He mused softly. “This feels so ridiculous.” He admitted. “I’m trying to tiptoe around you because I don’t know how you’ll respond and you seem to be doing the same… Maybe Gabriel is right… maybe we are hopeless…” He chuckled softly, his scent filled with affection towards his Alpha despite himself.
Dean hummed and smiled softly. “You are the one who deserves to... set the pace of this relationship. After everything I’ve done to you, it’s the least I could offer in return.”
Cas seemed to soften at the words and for a moment he was silent as he considered his options. “Then maybe we should take it a bit slow but… I wouldn’t be opposed to moving forward… I don’t think I could go back to just being an Aide after everything.” He admitted. “We’ll start with meals together.” He teased. “Take it slow, for now?” He offered.
Dean nodded softly. “Have you thought about what I said in my letter? We have the present publicly. Not just eating in my quarters.” He explained softly. “I know this is probably moving too fast, but we must sell that we love each other to keep everyone safe.”
“I understand Dean.” Cas sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “I obviously don’t like the idea of moving into the room next to you. I feel as if, even to the public, that is a bit fast; but you seem to have made up your mind on it.” He mumbled, he wasn’t exactly angry… simply uncomfortable. “Even if I did take the room off of your’s, surely the servants would know that we are not sleeping together so what is the difference between that and me using my own quarters?” He asked curiously.
Dean nodded, “I’m not forcing you to, I’m just suggesting it would help our picture to the public. But we have to court outside of my quarters.”
"I agree to the courting outside our quarters." He acknowledged. "I'm having Celeste make something up for public appearances right now. I... will think about the living arrangements." He reassured. "Can you give me a week?" He offered.
Dean nodded. “Of course.” He smiled softly.
Cas smiled in return before a knock sounded, signaling their lunch had arrived. Cas pushed to his feet to get the door as he should.
“You don’t have to get it Cas.” Dean said, as he stood, his fingers playing with the dagger in his belt. “Does Gabriel know you’re here?” He asked.
"Its alright Dean." He offered reassuringly. "Yes, he does." He added with a nod before cracking the door to glance out at the small severing woman holding a large tray.
Dean smiled softly as he followed Cas to the door. “Thank you.” He said to the serving lady. As they took the tray from her. Dean closed the door with a frown. “I usually ask for Gabriel. I may not trust him but I know him.” He frowned to Cas.
Cas nodded as he moved to set the small table. "Oh... right... sorry." He mumbled. "I didnt want to bother him, he's been doing so much for me."
“It’s okay Cas, you didn’t know.” Dean said softly. “What do you think of my... proposal of one... date a week?” He offered.
"I like the idea." Cas acknowledged as he poured them both some water and moved to sit down. "I think it's a really good one. It can also help in growing accustomed to the formality of everything though... I'm sure Zechriel will want to be notified of routes and post extra security."
Dean nodded, “I use my personal guards as the extra security. They usually keep a lane away.” He explained. “I would like to show you my favourite place in the Kingdom.”
Cas couldnt help but give a fond grin at the words. "I would really like that." He admitted softly.
Dean smiled. “It’s the best when it’s dusk, and going dark.” He said softly as he took some food and started to eat. “I’d like to ask your opinion on something whilst we’re walking.”
"Why not now?" He asked curiously as he began to eat as well.
“Because it’s about the city, and I would like to point out a place for it.” Dean said softly. “It’s about creating somewhere safe within the city for all Omegas.”
Cas paused at that. "You mean like a haven?" He asked curiously.
“Sort of.” Dean nodded. “It would be a street, with a place for Omegas to have their heats in safety, a doctor’s office with only Omega doctors, places to by food and... toys. Places to hang out together.” Dean explained softly. “If we would have married, I would have put it completely into your hands, now... I have to have a hand in it, to make it legal.”
"Dean..." Cas mumbled in awe. "That is incredibly. Do you realize how many lives youd be saving?" He asked. "How many more youd be changing?"
Dean nodded softly. “I have an idea but... I don’t want my name to it. I don’t want anyone to think that an Alpha created it and managed to put in a loophole. I don’t want any Alpha anywhere near it. But at the moment I don’t know how to do that, with you being an Aide.” He said sadly.
Cas seemed to consider it a moment. "Why not?" He shrugged. "Your Aides have quite a lot of power.... whose to say if I were over Omega laws, I couldnt do something like that?" He asked simply.
“Because if we create it, people would see it as if we own it. But if an Omega creates it and owns it, it’s perceived to be safer. Plus, you and your Aides would have a better idea of what is needed. We’re Alpha’s, we don’t know what Omegas need.” Dean said softly.
Cas' brows furrowed. "But I'm not an Alpha." He pointed out. "At least that's what everyone keeps reminding me of."
“Precisely. That’s why I’m stuck. I want you to take this on, but because you’re only an Aide, I have to... sign it off. My name will still be put on it.” Dean sighed. “You’re prefect for the job, but I don’t how to go about it without me being involved.”
"I'm sure that even with your sign off, the Kingdoms Omegas would use the offered support." Cas replied. "To be honest, some of them might not have a choice." He admitted.
Dean frowned as he looked up at Cas, “what does that mean?” He asked softly. “Alphas won’t force them to go there, right?” He asked.
"No, no." Cas rushed to reassure. "Not at all. What I meant was: It is possible that some Omegas will turned towards them havens you build because they have no where else to go or no one else to turn to. It isnt ideal.... but its possible." He shrugged.
Dean nodded. “It suppose to be a haven. I want you to take it on, you know what is needed in a haven more than me. From what little you’ve told me about your past, you needed a haven more than anyone I know.” Dean said softly, expecting backlash from referencing Cas history.
Cas shifted uncomfortably, gaze darting away in his embarrassment. He seemed to consider the words for a moment before offer a small smile and giving a hesitant nod. " It would be an honor, Your Grace." He reassured.
“You don’t have to Cas.” Dean said softly. “Not if you don’t want it. How about we go for a walk and I’ll show you the street I was thinking of?” He offered.
"I know, Dean." The Omega offered with a soft smile. "I would love to though and absolutely. When would you like to go?"
“This evening, I’ll meet you at the front doors to the palace just before dusk.” Dean offered with a small smile.
Cas nodded. "I'll be there. Should I bring anything?"
Dean shook his head. “Warm clothing.” He smiled. “And any ideas you may have for the haven.”
"I am sure I can manage the first, I'll have to simply do my best for the second." He teased lightly as he continued his meal.
Dean smiled. “I know you will.” He ate in peaceful silence for a short while. “Is there anything you’d like to ask me?”
Cas glances up at the question and arched a brow. "No, not really... should there be?" He mused lightly with a small smile.
Dean shook his head. “I never know what you’re thinking, I want to ensure that every question you have is answered.”
Cas chuckled at that. "Dont worry Dean, I'm sure you've already realized I dont exactly hold my tongue. I'd probably ask if I had any questions. What about you though? "
Dean shook his head. “I was just trying to make conversation.” He offered.
Cas softened a bit more at that, unable to keep the affection from his scent. "Hows your brother?" He asked, offering up his own conversation for the other man.
“He’s well. He’s happy. They’re trying for a second pup, so he’s pleased at the moment.” Dean smiled softly.
"How wonderful!" Cas offered pleasantly. "I bet you're an amazing uncle. Are you excited for a new niece or nephew?" He asked, pushing his plate away slightly as he finished eating.
Dean shrugged. “They’re too young at the moment. I don’t know what to do with them.” He shrugged. “Emma is only two. I’m guessing you’ve not had much contact with pups either?” He asked.
Cas shook his head. "Some of the soldiers have introduced me to theirs but it's always brief. Gabriel use to help with taking care of them though when the mothers needed the extra hands. From what I hear He is amazing with them." He explained.
Dean smiled softly. “It might be genetic.” He chuckled. “I’m sure if Meg is to help you, she might need help with Emma.”
"Oh." Cas mumbled shifting uncomfortably again. "Yes well... I am not sure how much help I will be. Pups are... quite... different than soldiers." He mused lightly.
“I meant Gabriel can help with Emma, whilst you all work on the haven.” Dean smiled softly.
"Oh." Cas laughed. "Of course! That makes more sense."
Dean smiled softly. “Unless of course you want to help.” He smirked.
"I highly doubt anyone wants that." He countered lightly as he stood and began to clean up a bit. "I should get going soon. Celeste is no doubt waiting for me."
Dean nodded and smiled. As he stood to help Cas clear up, a small cutting of parchment fell out of his pocket, without Dean realising.
Cas picked it up as it fell to the floor and glanced at the parchment as he offered it out. "Oh, you dropped this..." He mumbled.
On the parchment was writing, though some letters and words had smeared as if water had been dropped on it, the words were still eligible as Cas’ explanation of Mary.
Dean turned and quickly took the parchment from Cas, stuffing it back in his pocket. “Thanks.” He mumbled.
Cas paused a moment the image of Dean crying over the words on the paper, filling his mind. He offered a small reassuring smile before setting the tray aside. "I had plans on joining you for dinner." He offered, not wanting to embarrass the Alpha. "Will you be free?" He asked as he stepped a bit closer.
“Only if you want to, Cas.” Dean murmured, a lump forming in his throat. “I don’t want to force you.” He kept his eyes low, his hand wrapped around the parchment in his pocket.
Cas offered another small smile, scent turning towards the need to comfort his Alpha. The others had been right when they told him it would be easier to control after sharing his heat but there were occasions that he chose not to bother or the emotion was too strong. This time however he simply chose to allow it as he reached out to cover Dean's hand with his own."I think I'd enjoy it." He admitted honestly, tangling their fingers together. "I'm glad I gave this one a chance... I've really enjoyed the company."
Dean’s own scent and eyes filled with sadness as he squeezed Cas’ hand. “I do too.” He sighed to try and get his emotions under control. “You can /tease/ me, tell me I’m a terrible Alpha.”
Cas shook his head and gave a small chuckle as his free hand lifted to Dean's cheek. "You're not a terrible Alpha Dean." He reassure softly. "We just both have a few issues."
Dean smiled and nuzzled Cas’ hand. “You saw what the parchment was. You’re all about jokes and teasing. I’m sure you have a multitude of jokes and teases in your head.” He sighed.
Cas' smile faded. "Dean." He sighed in exasperation. "That's not how the teasing I mean works. Teasing you about something like that would be cruel." He said letting his hand drop and the hurt show in his scent. "The teasing I try to do is meant to be light hearted and fun... not insulting." He tried to clarify, needing the man to understand.
Dean shrugged. “I can never see the difference.” He sighed, turning to face away. “It never seems fun, it always seem insulting.”
"But your trying." Cas reassured his smile returning. "And that means a lot."
Dean shrugged. “It never seems enough. Are you sure you don’t have any questions?” He asked softly. “I’d prefer to get it over with now rather than later.”
Cas sighed at that. "I guess I do." He mumbled simply, scent suddenly growing defensive. "Why is it that everytime it seems like we are finally making progress with one another you put up walls and start pushing me away?"
Dean turned to face Cas, tears in his eyes. “Because I feel like I don’t know you. I don’t know when you’re teasing and joking, I don’t know when you’re being nice. So I put up these ‘walls’, so I don’t get hurt by you. It’s always about me being wrong, but you never even consider that maybe we’re both wrong.” Dean turned and moved to the fire, bending down to tend to it
Cas tensed at the sight of the tears in the mans eyes. It caught him off guard and for a moment he hesitated before moving to the Alpha's side and reaching out to stop the mans motions. "Dean." He said softly. "I'm wrong... a lot... I'm very much aware of that. It's kinda hard not to be when you point it out so much." He chuckled lightly before clarifying. "That's me teasing you, by the way, to show I'm not really upset that you point it out."
“Then why do you never mention you’re trying to be better. That’s all I seem to get in the letters, that I should be better. I should, I know. But even if you know you’re wrong, you never suggest or even try to be better.” Dean sighed and turned away. “It seems a very one sided relationship.”
Cas sighed and pulled his hand away, sinking down onto the floor. Once again a nice time was suddenly turning into something far more heavy. "I'm not saying your wrong..." Cas clarified before continuing. "But I /feel/ as if I have. I promised I'd clarify my teasing that I'd do my best not to press about this or that. I've been biting my tongue in public so that I'm not causing arguments. I'm doing my best Dean... Really I am. I don't know what else to do... What else you /want/ me to do." He admitted softly, his voice calm and even if not a bit confused, scent still hurt but less defensive.
“I just want a conversation where you don’t tease or joke. Where I don’t feel that I’m being put down on. I don’t know when you find a situation funny or not because everything I do Cas, I do it for love and t- to make my mum proud. Every time you tease it just...” Dean trailed off, jabbing at the sparks coming off the fire, tears streaming down his eyes. “I try t- to open up I let you in so you can trust me, but I- I never get the same curtesy back. How can we build a friendship on trust when you clearly don’t trust me?” He asked.
Cas took a deep breath at that, pausing to reel in the urge to snap at the man. “Okay... “ He began, measuring his tone carefully. “I thought that our conversation today went quite well. I didn’t tease all until after the meal and when I did I clarified so that you knew why I was doing it and what it meant. We weren’t talking about anything too serious until…” He paused to try and find the wording. “Until the walls were already up. I’m willing to try Dean… I’ve been trying but it just seems like you point out my failing over and over and over and no matter what I do its not good enough.” His words were still careful and calm as he pushed to his feel. “I don’t know what else to do until you tell me because I am trying. As for trusting you… I did… for awhile but every time I grew comfortable with that trust you lashed out for things that were unpredictable and I didn’t understand and yet I am still here… I /still/ trust you… with certain things but the walls that I let down… for you… You hurt me Dean… I’m not blaming you or pointing out you were in the wrong.” He clarified still calm but the pain so strong in his scent it was almost sufficating. “I’m simply stating that it happened and it hurt… a lot…. So my walls have gone back up, just like yours do. I’m not angry at yours, I’m just trying to understand them… trying to help… But I’d prefer if you don’t grow angry at me for mine.” He offered, before turning. “I should go…” He sighed softly, wrapping an arm around himself obviously needing as much comfort as the Alpha did. “I don’t want to anger you and Celeste is waiting… I will be back for dinner… Maybe we can talk more then? Maybe you can come up with how you want me to change?” He offered with a sigh. “I’m sorry I’m not the omega you expected me to be Dean… but I am trying.” He admitted sincerely, pausing to glance at him.
“Like I’m not the Alpha you expected me to be?” Dean asked, anger in his scent, but his voice calm. “Like I’m not fun. I’m not this strong Alpha that you wanted me to be. I’m not perfect all the time? I have a history and a past that frankly... I need help with but, who am I to trust to say that I don’t feel good enough to be King?” Dean asked. “I don’t want my walls up, but you always seem to be accusing me of something. I can’t take a joke. I’m too quick to anger. I don’t open up. You say I have impossible standards, but we’re just as bad as each other.” Dean sighed as he put down the poker and tried to catch the sparks in his hands. “We need to try together.”
“Dean…” Cas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I would agree, we need to try together… But… I... “ He paused to find the words. “If I’ve made you believe that I have set a standard for you I’m sorry; but thats not the case. /If/ I have any standards for an Alpha its simply to treat me fairly. I don’t need you to be strong or perfect… No one is. I sure as hell am not.” He pointed out calmly. “I don’t understand where I gave you the idea that I expected that. To be honest the idea of an Alpha with either of those qualities isn’t that appealing. You’ve trusted me with your insecurities before and I’ve kept them to myself, its stayed between the two of us. Yes… I might have made a mistake when we first met and used it when we were fighting… when my family’s life was at stake but… I feel as if we both made some dire mistakes during that time; and should not hold it against one another… I will admit, I’ve accused you of being quick to anger and that you didn’t open up; once on each…. Since then, I haven’t... You’ve obviously been trying to refrain from snapping and I appreciate it… and you’ve opened up which is astounding and must have been very hard… Your standards aren’t impossible… I just need to know what they are. I can’t meet them if I don’t know what they are, Dean. As far as I know I’ve accused you of nothing but having walls up since we began our meal… and I don’t know what I did to anger you… but I /am/ trying. I’m doing my best… I just don’t know what else to do.” He offered, sadness dripping from his voice.
“It’s the only thing I wanted. From the very beginning. I tried compromising but it just... I can’t do.” Dean sighed. “The teasing. I just... even before you explain its teasing, the walls are up Cas. If that’s a must in our relationship, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it work.” Dean said, sadly, “so if you leave now, no hard feelings, I won’t blame you for not being able to go through this is. It’s okay if you want to leave me.” Dean shrugged and a log into the fire, making a harsh, loud, thud.
Cas took a deep breath, the tears starting up again and he nodded. “I don’t want to leave you Dean… And I’ve been trying to compromise as well… But… I can’t change who I am… I do care for you deeply.” He acknowledge. “I hope you know that.” He offered before turning to go. It hurt but Dean was right… They wouldn’t be able to make it work.
