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𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐒𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐉𝐢𝐮,
A 27-year-old writer of the mildly questionable. An architect of the twisted who, armed with her notebooks, prefers to explore the darkest, most psychologically and morally ambiguous corners of human affection rather than settle for conventional happy endings.
| ENG + ESP| ✦ WARNING: Shen Jiu lover
the weekend is here!! praise be!!! chaining myself to my 3 different word processor apps so that I can produce something and not just stewing in epistemological crisis
I've been doing so well and hitting a stride on my orchestra AU only to be assaulted by a new Extremely Niche Intrusive Mohabbot Thought that I need to expel:
Control AU Mohabbot.
Samira's first day as a research specialist in Federal Bureau of Control finds her wandering the Oldest House in lockdown. She's saved by Jack Abbot, a security agent who tells her that she needs to go to the Director's office. Inside, she discovers the Director dead and his Service Weapon unattended--calling for her. She picks it up and becomes the New Director by meeting The Board and passing the test to wield the Service Weapon. The Board commands her to combat the Hiss that infects the Oldest House and turns humans into monsters. As she fights Hiss-possessed agents, she finds survivors who managed to escape its influence by wearing Hedron Resonance Amplifiers. Senior researcher Baran Al-Hashimi and Chief of Security Michael Robbinavitch seem to already know that she's the New Director, but none of them recognize the name Jack Abbot.
Who is Jack Abbot? And why isn't he possessed by the Hiss despite not wearing an HRA?
I'm bored, ask me some questions about my fics or whatever else
(can be in comments or in ask!)
shoutout to my faborite fcuking quote from my fanfic that i will always love and yes im frunk and soemone is trying to help me typ ethis
Guanshan paced around back and forth by the bench, arms tucked across his chest as he tried to understand how Buzzcut had somehow come to the conclusion that he and He Tian were a couple. Sure, He Tian carried him around school over his shoulder. Sure, the guy always bought him sandwiches and lunch. And yeah, sure, he’s kissed him up and down his face countless of times. But that didn’t mean they were dating, did it?
Did it?!
As Mo tried to figure himself out, Buzzcut resisted the urge to tackle him to the ground and slap him until he’d regained–or actually gained –some sense of awareness to social queues. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as he watched his friend slowly start to realize that nothing He Tian did was ever remotely a “just friends” thing. “Holy shit… you’re an idiot.”
I’m an idiot , Guanshan thought to himself, his hands flying into his hair.
hte fic, mfs: underneath it all and shjit
shaking
That night he suddenly went to his room after the night round, he was tired and with many anxieties that made his chest he didn't want anyone to see his state, he didn't want anyone to start asking him any nonsense related to how he was. They had been together for months, almost a year, but something strange was happening, something was not right, her behavior with him was not the same as before, she was not so affectionate or sweet with him, his nerves were eating him alive, his lips were dry, he ran his tongue over them, taking advantage of the space between his teeth, he waited for the dial tone, until she answered.
April: Hello?
???:Hello April, it's me
April: oh...hi...how are you honey?
????: Well, I would say good, how are you?
April: I'm...I'm glad to hear it
From the tone of voice she had, she had quickly deduced that he was not the one she was waiting for, or rather, she didn't want him to be the one calling her, she took a breath of air to continue.
???: I wanted to talk to you about something very important?
April: sure... tell me what do you want...
???: I want to know if it's true
April: what .... thing?
???: you know what I mean? ....
April: no...I don't know....what are you talking about?
???: April I know you very well...you are not good at lying...and I know....when you lie to me....
April: I swear....I don't know....
He couldn't believe that she was denying it, his girl, his girlfriend, his dream of a woman, was doing that to him, he couldn't stand it anymore, he started to tremble, he knew he was hurting himself by asking her that, but it was time to get out of doubts.
????: I know you look like with him ....
April:....
???: you are quiet now aren't you?
April: I.....listen...I don't know.... how to tell you....
???: just do it
April: I never...asked for this to happen to me......
???: but you let...it happen...right?
April: I struggled...believe me.... I struggled as hard as I could....
???: but what happened?
April: he won.... my heart...what I feel for him....was stronger than I thought....
???: meaning you love him?
April: yes....I love him....but I love you too....we gave each other a chance....as you wanted....so much....and it was a beautiful time....
???: please don't go on.... don't talk like it's going to be over....
April: but it's just that....what do you want me to tell you?....is what I really feel...believe me I didn't mean to hurt you....I know that you love me so much, that we both live and share a lot together....
???: and we can keep doing it together....please....
April: I can't do it....I don't feel anything for you anymore....I see you as always....as my best friend....how did you find out?
???: the night we went to that rock concert, remember I was late?
April: yeah...
???: I was late and I was looking for you....that's when I saw you, you were kissing him in the dark, the two of you were holding hands?
April: I see ....
???: you cheated on me...how could you do that to me?....
April: forgive me.... it slipped out of my hands....
???: what do I do with my heart now? I gave it all to you....
April: it will heal.... just give it time....
???: what do you want to tell me?
April: that I can't be your girlfriend anymore.....I've decided to be with him.... I really love him....
???: please April.... don't leave me....I love you so much....
April: I know....and forgive me....for not being by your side.....I can be your best friend like we were before....
???: how can you ask me that? i can't accept it....please....don't leave my side....
April: sorry....I can't....I can't....I have to go......
???: April.....don't.....remember all the beautiful things we have accomplished together....
April: I'm so sorry.....I'm going to hang up....
When she did that, he just started crying on his bed, he covered himself with the pillow, he was crying very hard, but he was choking that pitiful and painful cry, he didn't want his family to know that he was heartbroken, on his side April, went up to the roof of her house and started crying too, she felt the worst of the girls, she knows that he was good to her and that he loved her, but she could not continue by his side, in that moment she heard that someone was approaching her, it was the boy for whom her heart was beating with full force, but even so, she looked at the floor sitting down, and between tears a smile for him. ...
¿¿¿: but what do you have?
April: finally...I told him about us...I'm the worst.
¿¿¿: please don't think like that.....sooner or later.... should I know?
April: I know but...God I was crying behind the phone.... I felt like a monster...
¿¿¿: you're not....but....it's my fault....he and I had this strong rivalry for your heart....when you accepted it....I was dying inside...but I accepted it...
April: but it took me a while to realize how much I love you.....and it was also when I realized that.... what I had with him couldn't work...
¿¿¿: you know? be it with him or with me.... I just want you to be happy....
April: see? that's what I love about you, your selfless love.... is something beautiful in you....
¿¿¿: but it's my fault he is crying now, the only monster here is me because..... I took my friend's girlfriend....
April: if that's what this is about.... then we are both to blame.... but deep down I knew that if loving you wasn't right..... I wouldn't do the right thing...
¿¿¿: you've always been persistent....that's what made me fall in love with you....well one of the many things....
April: I'm worried about .... how the guys will look at us now ....
¿¿¿: they will understand....creeme.....they will in time?
April: I hope so....I just want to be happy with you and make you happy....
¿¿¿: I know love, I want the same thing....even though, I'm afraid of losing you.....because of life...
April: you won't lose me....because I will fight not to lose you.....never forget something....
What thing?
April : that you are not just a mutant.....that you are my mutant, Donnie....
She got up from her place to hug his neck and kiss him with all her heart, he did the same, although both felt bad, it was a lighter load now, to be able to enjoy their love, neither wanted to hurt Caesy Jones feelings, but they had to do it obligatorily, they also knew that their friends would see them bad at the beginning, but with time they would accept that this way things were decided by their feelings, that starry night was of pain, sadness, but above all it was of love and reconciliation.
Write one where Deb finds the picture Ava stole and confronts her about it.
Hey! I actually wrote one iteration of this confrontation in "we'll travel 'round the world, just you and me," but here are a few angsty little lines from how I could maybe imagine it playing out in S2:
*
"In what world does this fix things?" Deborah practically spits into the phone. She glances down at the framed photo still clutched between white-knuckled fingers.
"I didn't say it was supposed to fix things. I--I know it's not that easy," Ava sighs.
"Then why?"
"Why what?"
"Why send it at all?"
There's a pause, and Deborah hates that she knows Ava well enough to picture her mannerisms, the way she'd be scrunching her face and shuffling ever further down whatever chair she's barely sitting in. "You deserve to have it."
"A shitty old photo in a frame that's still dusty? Thanks. Thank you so much."
"That's not... Look, dead or not, that dude didn't deserve to have you on his wall, okay? And you were upset that he'd ever had it, and I just...I wanted to do something to make it better."
"And was this before or after you decided to start sending scathing emails about me to anyone that would listen?"
Ava sighs loudly enough for it to travel down the line. "That's the thing, isn't it? I don't--I don't deserve to hang onto it any more than that prick did. Not anymore. Maybe not ever." A beat. "Now it's yours. If you wanna go take it back to Sacramento, go for it. But at least this time it'll be because you want it to be there."
Deborah's breath catches in her throat, and she hangs up before she can do something stupid, like trusting Ava with another little piece of herself.
hopefully, i'll publish a chapter of Tacenda next week.... ;)
