Nov 13, 2025
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The Bachelor is exactly the kind of mind-numbing I need before bed
Peter Weber you crazy fuck
Victoria F pouting makes me cringe. Victoria F just...in general makes me cringe
Madi is probably the most wifey and I adore her commitment but bbgirl go ahead and just bust that pussy open one time and NAB YA MAN
Hannah Ann is too happy go smile somewhere else you wholesome lovable cutie face, you
best bath
Week Nine: That’s “O” Raven
“Hello Nick”
Nick and Andi don’t look like they rehearsed this 10 times at all....
Andi: “This conversation is going to require whiskey” - Well, she isn’t pregnant.
Nick is experiencing that feeling when you think you have a good thing going until your Bad Bitch ex comes around and you pretend you’re single again.
Nick: “Last time you were at my hotel door you broke up with me, but the time before that... Can I get you another whiskey?”
Andi explains to Nick that if he can picture himself getting on one knee in front of the girl then fuck the shit out of them in the fantasy suite. She is definitely the best person to take advice from seeing as Josh was the result of her season.
ABC has told me the rose ceremony is “coming up” for the past 20 min, send the Canadian home and get Corinne into a fantasy suite already.
Nick: “Sorry for making you ladies wait in the freezing cold, I was upstairs drinking with my ex.”
The motherfucker picks the Canuck and we find out Corinne is a real ugly cryer... Whatever girl, now more time for naps and cheesy pasta! Nick has kept this girl around this long on the hopes of six minutes of reverse cowgirl and he dumps her right before it is an actual guarantee? Love is crazy y’all.
Corinne: “My heart feels like... like... like... it will never be repaired” - Here’s champagne and a pillow, you’re good.
**Finland**
Nick picks what looks to be the most miserable place on earth for “fantasy” suites. You can literally pick any place and he chose the frozen desert above the arctic circle. How you about to stick it in when your dick is physically hiding inside your body?
Raven’s Date
Raven’s day starts in a dive bar playing darts with local homeless men.
Raven: “I feel like this could be an everyday for us.” - Enjoy.
Raven is nervous for the night ahead because she has apparently only had sex with one guy and he never made her blow her load. Nick, you may not want to give it to Raven too good, HE never made her O and almost took a stiletto to the jugular...
Night sets, and Nick is dressed like a guy who is trying everything not to get laid.
Nick: “You were really good at darts, until you choked and embarrassed me.” Raven: “While we are on the subject, I love you and I’ve never had an orgasm”
Solid transition.
The one hour episode concludes, rarely does ABC give us less than we need, but we all did sit through their 7 hour award show last night, it was the least they could do.
Philly
Golden Bachelor Fantasy Suite Night
The Golden Bachelor is almost ending. Hard to believe we are at the Fantasy suite already. The Bachelor took place in Costa Rica. Gerry had the difficult task of spending quality time with both ladies, Leslie and Theresa. First he had a conversation about sex for the older crowd. Jesse the host was a little taken aback by Gerry’s honesty on the topic. Gerry’s first date was with Leslie. She is…
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