Romantic comedy where a goth/alt girl tries to avoid the attention of a preppy, sorority girl by making herself as gross as possible, but unbeknownst to her the preppy sorority girl is into, and only makes her crush greater, and they start to genuinely fall for each other, leading to a climax where the goth girl has to choose between finally cleaning herself up or continuing to neglect her hygiene to stay with the woman she loves....
ME AND FUCKING WHO???? ME AND WHO PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏 i find this so so cute
does anyone else ever think about how cowboy's mainly eat carbs and beans, like thing of how hot it would be for a massive, tall, broad (yes, I have a size differnce kink, shut up) cowboy to be leaning over you while your backed against a wall and he stops mid sentence to lift a leg and rip the fattest, bassiest fart you've ever heard. then takes his hat off to waft behind his ass and says "Whew! Damn, 'scuse me puddin'," then keeps flirting with you like nothing happened
Or, that gas would be really normalised to cowboys so imagine you're dancing with him and that western food isn't agreeing with you at all, and little toots slipping out while his massive thigh is between your legs and he finds it cute how embarrassed you're getting so he manhandles you to press your ass into his crotch as he holds your hip and massages your gut (massive hands and all) so more gas slips out against his growing bulge, getting bassier and longer and louder and more embarrassing
DaveFarts - Episode 23 “Smells Like Sheet”[Episode List]
Due to a cliché, Tim and the-gassy-as-usual Dave have to share a bed. Who could possibly know what's gonna happen next... though it may involve a dutch oven that's for sure.
POV: Tim
Smells Like Sheet
“Tim Slade and Dave Maning, right?” the receptionist kindly asked.
The hotel hall around us was way too… glittery for my standards, but that’s what happens when Dave asks you to join him for a business trip. Well, not really a business trip, but rather a rather some kind of celebration for a milestone that The Company he works for reached, and given that it was also thanks to him, he was invited to this very special dinner. However, it wasn’t as fancy or formal as the location may suggest, as Dave’s boss did tell everyone that they could let one friend or partner join the night: after all, it was a party.
My bro usually hates going to “parties” planned by The Company but since this celebration in particular was an important event, which also could lead to yet another promotion, me, our other friends and Dana (his girlfriend) basically forced him to go.
What I didn’t expect is that I’d be the one joining him instead of Dana. This happened for 2 reasons:
Reason 1: Dana was busy with her own job and couldn’t join his boyfriend even if she wanted to but, just like him, she too hates this kind of events (they’re really made for each other, huh? Can’t say I disagree however…).
Reason 2: Dave actually wanted to introduce me to his boss because they’re looking for someone with video-making skills to film something for them, maybe some kind of motivational video that corporations love to do.
So here we are, the receptionist of this fancy hotel handing us the key to our room.
“Here you go: Room 669”
“Heh. Ni-Nice” both me and Dave said, because our brains stopped working at the same time.
The receptionist pretended he didn’t hear a thing, thankfully.
We then walked through the fancy hall and took the elevator, just the two of us. We didn’t have any luggage with us, since it was just for one night, so our backpacks were enough.
“So silent…” Dave said.
“What?” I asked.
“This elevator. I can hear my own heart beating. I’m impressed.”
I stared at him, his tall figure, wearing a grey shirt and pair of black jeans. My mind immediately went to one time we took an elevator ride together and immediately stopped him before he could do anything uncalled for.
“Dude, have mercy. There’s other people who’s gonna need this elevator.”
Dave was standing next to me and turned to me, sporting a puzzled expression. He seemed confused by my words, I could tell he wasn’t being sarcastic or anything, maybe.
“What? What do you mean?”
Right. It’s not like people always thinks about farts… not that I do, believe it or not.
I felt very embarrassed to be honest.
“S-sorry. I just thought… y-you know…”
“Ok… you’re stuttering like an idiot…” he said. “so I’m pretty sure you thought I was going to break the silence with one of my farts, right?” the way he asked it so casually was already oddly… hot for me, but also reassuring.
“Yes.” I simply replied, hating the elevator for how long it was taking to reach our destination. “I’m sorry. But believe me, I was telling you this because I don’t want people to choke on your gas.”
He leaned towards me a bit. “Unless it’s you, right?” he whispered, the bastard.
“Shut up!” I said, as he laughed like a jerk.
Once again, silence. Dave being chill around me makes me stutter more than his blasts.
However, after like 10 seconds, I decided to break the silence instead.
“You were totally going to far-“
“Yes” he cut me off “I was totally going to destroy this elevator but you, of all people, stopped me.”
We both laughed like idiots and the doors opened. Indeed, people stepped inside as we left. They don’t know that I probably saved their nostrils, I’m the unsung hero of their story.
—
We reached our room mere seconds later. We stepped inside, but not before both me and Dave could once again go “Ni-nice” at the same time the moment we saw our room number hanging on the door. This is gonna be a thing for the next few ours so brace yourself, readers.
The room was exactly as you may expect: big, fancy, with all the comforts and more, big windows and a nice view on the city, and a queen-size bed in the middle. I almost felt out of place: it truly looks like a perfect room for an actual couple.
And no, weirdly enough the queen bed didn’t make me nervous: both me and Dave knew it was gonna happen so I already had my awkward phase back at home. My friend is chill and he doesn’t care about sharing the bed with a gay man like me, plus it already happened sometime ago anyway.
All of those doubts always sound so silly when I stop and remember how I spend way too much time with my face planted into my friend’s farting ass, courtesy of his skills and the fact that in his own non-kinky way he enjoys making sure that almost none of his farts go to waste. Well, none except the one he started ripping as I opened my backpack and sat on the bed, his way to assert dominance every time we go into a hotel room. Loud, long and proud, around 7 seconds long, so basically a medium-sized one for Dave’s standards.
My bro raised his left hand and pointed his index finger up as the fart ended on a high note, as if he was conducting his own rip like it was an orchestra. As the blast ended, he just stared at me with a silly smile, something that he’d always do even before he found out about my kink: he’s just your average gassy friend, can’t do anything about that.
“So…” I tried to ignore the scent that reached my nose. “What’s the plan for tonight?” I asked.
“First thing first, we gotta take a shower. Not together at the same time I’m afraid. You can go first.”
“You can join me if you want…” I said, winking at him as I went into the bathroom.
“D-don’t make me horny dude!” he jokingly replied.
—
I was drying my hair by the bed while Dave took a shower (it was his turn). As I said, while it wasn’t the fancy night one might except, we kind of had to look really good, me especially, because Dave’s boss is a fine guy, but also one of those “first impression is best impression” dudes. I mean, the shower was obvious, but me going as far as making sure my hair look great, while normally I wouldn’t even use a comb, is telling.
I heard, or rather, didn’t hear the shower anymore so I knew Dave was done. What I did hear however was his ass being talky tonight, exploding in a thunderous, wet post-shower rip that easily surpassed the hair dryer’s notably loud sound. I didn’t properly see Dave ripping ass, but the fact that I could hear it so clearly was yet another proof of his incredible skills. He didn’t even comment on it, I mean it’s not like every time he farts we have to acknowledge my kink, when even I sometimes just ignore it.
“I hope you heard that, honey.”
I heard the bastard say from the bathroom.
Yes, I sometimes just ignore it… until Dave makes sure I don’t.
—-
Finally we were ready to leave. The Company held this important dinner basically downstairs, in the hotel’s restaurant. They basically booked the entire place so we could eat, drink and just hang out together, talking about business in a surprisingly relaxing and chill environment. This was reflected in our clothes, as they were formal-ish but not, you know, wedding-tier. Dave was wearing a white shirt, sleeves pulled up, black jeans and black sneakers. I was basically dressed the same, only my shirt was grey.
“Nice. You almost look fuckable tonight.” my friend told me, as he sprayed some last bits of deodorant around us.
“I was gonna tell you the same.”
“Well... we are in room 669 you know...” he winked at me and then headed for the door.
(Ni-Nice!)
—
Dinner was pretty good and varied, they really spared no expenses, especially considering how The Company even paid for everyone’s rooms (not that there were many guests, but still). There was meat, vegetables and even some vegan options on the menu. Both me and Dave liked the idea of trying a bit of everything, while most of the other work colleagues went for a pure carnivore approach. Alcohol was beer or wine, or both, but better not mix things up.
Dave’s boss sometimes proposed a toast blabbering about how The Company is actually one big family… before laughing at his own overused figure of speech: he was cynical yes, but I can respect his self-awareness and lack of no-nonsense speeches about how “we’re all in this together” when we all know this isn’t true.
It all went pretty well: food was great, most of my friend’s colleagues were pretty cool I guess, and after talking for like 30 minutes, the boss simply told me to send him my portfolio, no strings attached or anything.
Honestly I had more fun than I was expecting. Almost everything was free and everyone, whether it was a facade or not, was very nice to us, so honestly I can’t complain, only appreciate this fancy-ish night.
—
At around 2:00 AM, Dave and I got back to our room (Ni-Nice!), announcing our entrance with Dave letting out a loud belch that I’m sure tasted like the dessert. The dinner at the hotel restaurant was pretty straight-forward so once we were done eating and drinking, we had like 2 more hours of casual chatting and more drinking. There was music but it’s not like the place turned into a disco for us.
We weren’t really tired nor drunk, just a bit tipsy. We clumsily removed our shoes and collapsed on the bed. I turned the TV on and we just casually mindlessly watched it while checking our phones.
Being a queen size bed, Dave was obviously lying next to me, to my left: he was shirtless, sporting a pretty good body figure, no actual ribs but pecs were there. Given how much we ate and drank tonight, he also looked slightly bloated. His black jeans were in fact pretty loose as he untied his belt once we got back into the room. Covering his feet, a kind of out-of-place but weirdly cute pair of purple socks with a butterfly pattern on it.
We finally could talk about the night we just had, The Company itself, and most importantly make not very polite comments about a co-worker Dave particularly despises for how fake he is, one of those people ready to throw you under a bus even if that means he can get something as worthless a pat on the back by the boss.
“Your boss however” I said “really surprised me. He looks pretty chill. I think I might even enjoy working for him, about the video and all you know.”
“Yeah.” my friend remarked. “I mean he still IS the boss don’t let that fool you, but he is quite honest at least.”
“I’ll keep that in mind when I’ll get to make the video… if he wants me to do it of course.”
“Did you send him your portfolio?”
“I just did actually. I had it zipped on my phone.”
Dave gently punched my shoulder in approval, because we’re really mature men.
“Well done bro.” he said. “I guess we gotta celebrate.”
“Yeah… with fireworks and all.” I said, sarcastically, while checking my phone.
Dave laughed. “I can help with that.”
My friend completely misinterpreted what I said and decided to showoff his well-known skills. He leaned just a bit on his side, pointing his black-denim ass towards my side of the bed, raised his right leg and let it rip. Loud, thunderous and as powerful as they come, Dave’s fart (arguably the first of a long series) almost activated my fight or flight response as I wasn’t really expecting it this time. However, it was as loud as a firework display going off in our room. The more the fart kept going, the more he raised his long leg, effectively adjusting the sound and the tone of the fart, going from lower to higher pitched.
After I took a good look of his denim ass, I then turned directly to him: he was visibly pushing one out, with a smirk drawn on his face; he looked back at me and smiled, winking at me as the fart still echoed in the room, easily surpassing the sounds coming from the TV, which could very well be set on mute at this point.
This wasn't an elevator, so no way I was gonna stop him this time.
The already long and impressive 15 seconds fart ended with a series of 4 loud toots, which sounded a bit more difficult to properly push out, judging by Dave’s facial expressions; but still, my friend still managed to do it effortlessly, once again showing off this impressive talent. Furthermore, and this goes without saying, the stench hit my face pretty soon, as an invisible gas cloud engulfed our bed. I could basically tell what Dave had for dinner without even taking a deep whiff.
Finally, my friend’s ass went silent. Dave adjusted his position and laid down normally next to me, laughing.
“Dude” I said, trying not to laugh myself “I didn’t mean that kind of fireworks.”
Dave was visibly puzzled, but amused. I thought he was messing with me but apparently he did misinterpret my words for real.
“Ahah I’m sorry man.” he apologized. “Well it’s not like you mind anyway, don’t you?”
I just remained silent in front of the truth, doing my best to focus on my phone instead, but Dave obviously wasn’t done, as another loud fart erupted, making the entire bed shake.
I was horny as hell, but I just didn’t know how to act while the second blast was being ripped next to me. I wanted to plant my face into his ass but I didn’t want to take advantage of my friend being so chill about my kink. Plus it’s not like he doesn’t fart in my face; in fact, I’d even say that he facefarts me way too often!
The fart was just as loud as the previous one, if not louder. It was all natural, powered by the dinner we had and the gallons of alcohol he ingested. The smell was there, but Dave’s main treat for me was his ability to rip such long and loud farts so often: he will never cease to amaze me.
12 seconds, a bit shorter than the first one, but still a sight to sore eye… and nose, mostly.
“Alright. I’m gonna get ready to sleep.” he casually said, as he left the bed. “You can still watch the TV if you want, just don’t watch anything too loud.”
I snapped back to reality. “You have the audacity to tell me not to be loud?”
He laughed, knowing exactly what I was referring to.
“But that’s fine, I’m too tired anyway.”
We both changed at the same time, slipping into something more comfortable, which consisted in a generic white shirt and sweatpants, for me at least. The room was warm enough so Dave slept shirtless and only wore a pair of black boxers brief, a boxer that, just like his socks, did sport a silly pattern, this time with stars.
I went to brush my teeth and then slipped under the blankets, with my friend joining mere minutes later.
“Goodnight bro.” he said, clapping his hands 2 times, hoping the lights would magically turn off.
Surprisingly enough, the lights did turn off, truly a fancy hotel!
“No fucking way.” we both said, as if we witnessed something that happens once in a lifetime.
They didn’t exactly turn off however, but rather went dim, so I could still kind of see what’s going on. It was dark enough to sleep however, as both me and my bro prefer to sleep in darkness.
Now I felt truly tired, so I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes.
As expected, however, my friend wasn’t done talking; well, his ass certainly wasn’t.
I felt its vibrations immediately, as a muffled powerful rip made the bed shake.
“Still?” I said, pretending to be as annoyed as I could.
“Shhh.” Dave cut me off, his index finger up, basically inviting me to listen to what his butt had to say.
Indeed, the ass was very talk and the fart was indeed impressive, deep-sounding and, well, manly. Despite being muffled, I could perfectly hear it. Fortunately, the stench was trapped under the blankets, like a bed-sized tuna can. My gassy friend knew it, so the bastard, with a deft movement, pullet the blanket all over me, trapping me in the metaphorical tuna can.
Now I could hear and feel the flatulence properly, as Dave slightly lifted his ass a bit to ease the blast out, which was still going by the way. It felt like my friend trapped me in a queen-sized cage with a wild, roaring beast. The stench also hit me like a truck and every breathe I took made me taste what we had for dinner again. I tried to move, to get out, but Dave had a firm grip on the blanket covering me and he made sure I inhaled every particle of gas he was ripping.
The dutch oven maneuver knows no mercy...
18 seconds and the long fart was finally done. My friend simply laughed but still didn’t let me go.
“If you can handle my boss, I’m sure you can handle... this.” he joked.
Another loud fart erupted, this time "short", 4 seconds, but one of the loudest of the night so far.
In the dark of the dimly-lit room and under the blanket, I could still see his boxer-clad ass, hugging his butt tightly, a very thin layer of fabric enduring incredibly powerful blasts. I'm surprised he didn't tear a hole through his underwear with such raw, powerful farts!
It’s like he knew I was staring, because he moved closer to me, his ass now touching my leg, dangerously close to where my crotch is.
Now I was the one shaking under Dave’s power, as my friend started farting on me. The fart being ripped so close to my boner was a surreal experience and I felt like my dick was gonna blow, as if it was being struck by an earthquake that it couldn’t endure. Loud, long and proud, my bro’s farts never disappoint. Whether kinks are involved or not, one can only bow to such incredible skills.
My friend still kept me under the blanket as he filled the bed with poisonous gas. I started to cough, which only made Dave laugh like a jerk in response.
This one fart lasted around 9 seconds, but even though the ass was done talking, Dave still kept me under there, making my nostrils burn. He wasn’t directly farting in my face, but somehow this felt worse, stench-wise. There really was no way the gas could get out of that gas chamber made of blankets and I struggled to breathe.
Now my bro showed off by ripping a quick series of loud, short toots, probably yet another big fart that he’s trying to rip in small doses, further proof of how “crafty” he could be when it came to fart-control.
“You know what…” he said, as the fart stopped.
I could feel he letting the blanket go, so I could easily get out of that gas chamber… but I didn’t want to, because I’m a mess and I wanted to see what Dave had in store for me for this torture.
He adjusted his position and, making sure my head was still under the blankets, he turned his whole long body around, wrapping his legs around my chest and face, fully planting his boxer-clad ass on my cheek. Oh, the pattern was made of hearts, not stars, how peculiar...
I instinctively sniffed and obviously the ass was warm and raunchy, given how much my friend has been farting. However, that wasn’t enough, as I felt him push, resuming the previous fart where it left off, this time however ripping it all at once, not in small doses like before. I just accepted it, I was basically Dave’s fart slave at this point and I didn’t mind. I just appreciated how chill he was, feeling like I was living the most beautiful dream (and nightmare, somehow).
The fart stopped after about 11 seconds.
As my face was completely planted in my friend’s ass, I even struggled to speak.
“I mean… we are in room 669 after all.” I said, trying to make an obvious joke.
I could hear Dave appreciate my dry sense of humor. “Ni-Nice.” he laughed, and then treated me with another quick blast which truly tested my eardrums, other than my nostrils.
Finally, it looked like he was done, as he laid next to me like a normal person. He even lifted the blanket, because I was too horny to do anything apparently. In the dimly-lit room, I could still see his usual smirk as he stared at me, amused by how much of a weirdo I am… or rather by how weirdos we both are in a way.
In terms of stench, the situation outside of that gas chamber wasn’t that different, but it was probably because my nostrils absorbed so much gas that it was impossible for me to sniff anything else, for a while at least.
“You still have to buy us beers though.” Dave said. “This doesn’t count as a celebration.”
“You sure?” I promptly replied. “I did hear the fireworks.”
“Yeah.” he said. “And you sure smell like one.” he cackled.
He then turned his back to me and went to sleep, wishing me goodnight as if he didn’t just rip tons of farts in the face of someone who has a fart kink. As usual, I wanted to thank him, but ironically enough he seemed more annoyed by me being thankful than my fetish, so I just relaxed, trying to ignore my massive boner, and went to sleep myself.
A couple of hours ago, Dave’s boss asked me what are some of my strengths: if “being able to endure my straight bro’s powerful farts” is considered a legit strength, then I’m gonna be CEO of The Company by next week.
Did you know that farts are actually healthy? You see, there's this thing called fart therapy. I know....crazy! But if you fart on your mentally ill friend/partner/family member, say "among us pussy" while all star plays in the background...nothing will happen!
Date night idea: two large milkshakes with inulin powder mixed in, and cuddles on a sofa to watch tv while farting like mad and taking turns to help the other get it all out.
putting my cock into a stinky sub with a tummy ache is always the best thing. Because after all the farts are out of their system i can make them suck it and smell just how fucking bad they are.
oh my god, do you smell that baby? that’s actually fucking disgusting :/ i can’t believe you’d be so nasty babe, that’s like, really fucking gross??? i bet my dick smells like shit now
why don’t you put it in your mouth and see if it tastes as bad as it smells? it’s your gas, you better make sure it’s all gone 💗
when people do that little grunt before ripping the fattest fart <3333333 when their face contorts to focus only pressing the fart out <33333 when you can physically HEAR the fart being forced out of their ass <33333
