#fat discourse

[killadelphia]

I used to be rly embarrassed when pictures were taken without my permission that showed my fat. now I’m glad I have them and a record of my weight gain. but don’t do this. It’s not only invasive, but it can be traumatic.

[artsy-biggirl]

This is an interesting video I found on tiktok. As a fat person, I know how my body is judged first when people look at me. I know how physical attractiveness is a measure that society uses to determine how valuable we are as a human being.

At the other end, I am asexual, so even though I understand aesthetic attractiveness I don’t personally feel attracted to people. And so, attraction doesn’t hold a big place on me. Although I am sure that I still treat people differently, as those things that are taught by society are hard to recognize, I truly hope that I become more and more aware of them and learn to treat all people with kindness regardless and their physical appearance.

[thyccandtyred]

Anyone else remember hearing that fatness was contagious and that thin people should be careful around fat friends because they may become fat too? Because I remember. This idea in particular is so steeped in fatphobia, it'd be hard to explain in it's entirety without writing a whole essay but imagine not only being blamed if your thin friend gains weight but also learning how your friend really feels about fatness. Imagine your friend no longer hanging out with you because they think you're a "bad influence". Imagine parents discouraging their kids from being friends with fat children out of fear their kid would become fat.

That idea is just repackaged and rebranded these days but it's still around and it's still harmful af.

[thefinalaeon]

Here's something I'd like to point out that I don't think ya'll understand about your fat shaming.

First of all, other people's bodies are none of your business. Period. Fat people don't care about your shitty opinion or your fake attempts at concern for our health. It's unwarranted, unsolicited, and literally doesn't fucking matter.

Now a lot of you combat this very simple and easy to grasp concept by saying things like "your health affects mine!" Or "your fatness costs me money!" First off, no. No it does not. However, if you're truly worried about the cost effectiveness of my fatness, let me remind you of a few things.

Losing weight costs money. Gym memberships cost money. Home workout equipment costs money. Driving to the park to take a walk costs money. Healthy food costs money. Dieticians and nutritionists cost money. Doctors and specialists who say "the problem is you're fat" without actually giving you any resources or advice for tackling this issue cost money.

It also costs time. Most people work full time to overtime jobs, many even work 2nd and 3rd jobs just to make ends meet. Pepper in the fact that most people have families to take care of and enjoy time with, and that accessing the above costly resources is made nearly impossible by companies who value warm bodies in seats over work quality and employee lives, and you have an incredibly difficult, if not impossible environment to lose weight in.

Remember too, that there are many, many reasons why someone could be overweight. Many people with weight issues have genetic and hereditary disorders that they can't control. Many have chronic pain and other health issues that contribute to their weight gain and make it even harder to exercise and get enough movement in to make a solid difference. Some people have mood and mental health disorders that make it hard to even get out of bed. Some people just fucking like being fat! Fuck you if you don't like it!

So what are we learning? Fat shaming is not only fat shaming, it's ableism, classicism, and most importantly, not fucking necessary.

And just in case you missed it above, I'll repeat it for you. If you don't like fat people, I'm here to tell you:

Nobody cares. 💜

And if you really, truly cared about the health and wellbeing of us fatties, you'd be spending less time calling us disgusting and worthless because you don't like how we look and more time advocating for cost effective weightloss resources and programs, easier access to healthier foods, and fair and equal medical practices.

But I know you won't because that's not actually what it's about, and you're not ready to have those conversations because they take away your false sense of superiority. Tough shit. Fat people are always going to be here. We've always been here, and we aren't going anywhere, so get used to it.

[politenuclearbomb]

i genuinely can't believe the kind of privilege thin people have, and like... i say this because i went from being overweight enough that it actively impacted me societally to being really slim.

ive lost roughly 35-40 lbs since 2018, from about 175 to 135-140. about 15 of that was that i joined color guard my senior year and marching band WILL get you in shape, regardless of weight, it'll get your leg muscles hard as fuck, and the rest is due to starting adderall a couple months ago, which is less healthy in the long run because it's an appetite suppressant but like. the benefits outweigh the downsides.

but literally it is so much easier to find clothing that looks good on me and feels good. it's so much easier to find things in my size at all. it's so much easier to eat because nobody's giving me Looks.

bless my parents i love them but i got SO MUCH "vegetables first!!! don't eat so much bread!!!! jesus Christ kid are you gonna eat all that????" when i was in high school, and now when i eat with them they're trying to make sure im getting enough proteins and fats so that i don't lose muscle mass in this whole ordeal

and it's so. strange.

and like - I'm not saying that it's healthy for people to not exercise. I'm saying that the right amount and kind of exercise is different for everyone and sometimes people can be fit as hell and still fat and that's okay because i promise you, that fat person who works out the amount that keeps their blood pressure at a good place and makes them feel good and eats stuff that makes them feel good is 300% healthier than the skinny person who doesn't care about what they eat and doesn't move their body and just HAPPENS to have the genes that keep them skinny.

not to mention that "health" SHOULDN'T BE A MORAL JUDGEMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE, just something to strive for, for your own happiness and comfort. bc 'health' isn't the same for everyone and that's ok, it doesn't make you A BAD PERSON for being 'unhealthy' by one person's standards

i have a lot of feelings on this topic. just because I've lost weight doesn't mean I don't remember being "fat" and being treated and spoken to horribly for it

[just-a-human-beeing]

Sorry About the Rant!

Even though I know there are so many more important steps that need to be taken in terms of proper representation (normalizing LGBTQ+ characters, disabled characters, POC characters, etc.)...

I wish I could see a character who looked like me on screen. I wish she could have actual characteristics other than being bombastically confident and used for comedy. I wish she could fall in love with someone without it just be ‘ticking the boxes’ in terms of pairing people off. I wish I could see a pudgy girl with a character arc other than her getting skinny. I wish I could see a pudgy girl who’s sensitive about her weight, but it’s NOT her whole character. This continues with some examples below:

Of course there are chubby girls in the media, but I was thinking about this today. The first identifiably chubby girl who was something other than a side character I ever saw was Rebel Wilson in Pitch Perfect. As amazing a character as she is, it feels like every chubby girl is like her. 

She is confident about her body, almost to the point of comedy.

She is a friend of the main character.

She has no character arc.

If she has a romantic interest, that romance almost has no arc. 

I remember listening to the soundtrack of Bring It On the musical as a kid, just around the time I was becoming aware that I was fat (and that this was a bad thing). In the song “Friday Night Jackson”, I heard lyrics that indicated something I’d never heard before. Take a look:

[TWIG] Keep ya lil’ lady, I ain't messin with her No sir, c'mon, let's get a little closer! I want the one with the huge caboose! Bridget is gigglin’ and jigglin’ an’ turnin’ it loose!

[CAMERON] Whoa, yo, I dunno, Twig, she so big

[TWIG] Slow your roll, kid You know she stole the whole gig!

[CAMERON] If y’all got together she would crush you

[TWIG] Maybe so, but dag, what a way to go

This was the first time I’d heard a character express genuine attraction to someone who was fat. Sure, they sorta make jokes about her being big, but that didn’t matter to me. Fat jokes aren’t the problem to me, it’s me realizing this:

I’ve never seen a girl that looks like me fall in love. 

Again, this isn’t the biggest issue we face right now. I know that. Chubby characters in media are coming more frequently, but it’s to the point that I’m always surprised when I see one.

Mei-Ling Zhou from Overwatch is another example of this. 

I’ve spent years learning to compensate for my weight in a romantic regard. I’m not the worst, I’m not disgusting, I know that. However, after actually starting to have romantic experience I’ve realized this: 

I don’t view myself in a romantic way. I’m attracted to people, sure, but I don’t think of myself as someone who could be in a relationship. I think it would be really great if we could just... have chubby main characters sometimes. 

TL;DR let fat girls fall in love like anyone else.

[hemophobica]

suddenly realizes that most of the characters in homestuck where theres a "popular" headcanon are mostly girls and its almost always used to sexualize them (like giving them the Perfect Soft™ Body Shape with huge titties)

examples: aradia, karkat, feferi, rose, jane

[firebirdscratches]

What she says: I'm fine

What she means: People say Wall-E was fatphobic, and yeah, i totally get that criticism but representation for fat people in general is such crap and in that movie we not only got to see fat bodies that were viewed as the norm, we got to see fat heroism and even FAT ROMANCE. In a kid's movie about cartoon robots saving us from ourselves. How messed up is it that a dire warning about how fat we're all going to be in the future is one of the few movies where I can see fat people being heroic and falling in love?