#fatmatt

[mattabarrane]

During off season. @j_corden #fatmatt https://www.instagram.com/p/CEMrlwAht3t/?igshid=1dlmc3pfnvp30

[akariun]

Si fuera un cerdo, estaría feliz de que mis costillas terminaran en #fatmatt #blues (en Fat Matt's Rib Shack)

[chasingdownmatt]

Url Change/Resolutions

Hey guys.

I just changed my url from "Fat-Matt-to-Neo-Neo", to "TheGentlemanFitblr." I think that I was seeing the phrase "Fat Matt" every day could have been damaging.

Anyways, onto my new year resolutions.

Obviously, lose weight. Ultimately 100lbs, but I'd be happy at 70lbs.

Become more passionate about life.

Become more affectionate with those around me.

Determine the original cause of my "fear" of affection.

Touch and feel more.

Learn to celebrate without food.

Get stronger. 

Learn what I'm like when I'm happy.

Be happy.

Learn guitar.

Climb that rock wall!

Box more.

Run.

Do something I couldn't do before.

Do something dangerous.

Get drunk with a girl.

Spend a night at someone else's house.

Make an actual male friend.

Shave my beard.

Cosplay a good cosplay.

Continue to be a gentleman.

Reform my brain.

Participate in a professional competition.

Start my career.

Drink a beer with someone.

[chasingdownmatt]

Update: 12/21/2013

Well, I didn't exercise precisely today, but a lot of positive talk from others, and yet negative self-talk.  I did, with the help of my brother, obtain a large and very heavy television from a friend and got it into the house and everything.  Along with that, I went to a winter solstice party (really, it was just a reason to get together). The main focus was stew, so I brought rolls and salad. Unfortunately, no one saw the salad until too late, other than myself. I did consume copious amounts of sugar because of the root beer offered. It's a brand I haven't had in five+ years, and I really like. However, it's also very, very sweet, but good. Strangely, while at the party, I didn't eat too much, and yet constantly felt overfull. I think it was because it was soup, and I just didn't realize how much I had actually eaten.  Now, I haven't seen this group of friends in about six months. All the ones that were overweight have slimmed down, and the one skinny guy has built muscle. That said, the skinny guy and everyone else made several comments either suggesting or straight out saying that I was probably the strongest guy there. In fact, the skinny guy said several times that he wishes he were me, because he can't pack on muscle or fat very easily. But, I could only thing of all the progress everyone else had made over the past few months. Two of the guys in particular used to be overweight and are now thin and gaining muscle. However, skinny guy did point out that I am endomorphic, so I have to gain fat and/or size to gain muscle, which, to my understanding, is true. 

[chasingdownmatt]

I realized some weird stuff about myself in the past few years or so...

I like cute, short girls, whether they're fat or thin.

All my past girlfriends share the same type of nose

I have some sort of oral fixation. I'm almost always eating something or contemplating eating something. If that's not it, then I'm playing with my beard or have my hands on my face in some other way. I never realized it until an ex pointed it out.

Despite my size, it takes a considerable amount of food to gain weight.

I'm crazy about local food. Not for the environmental issues, but just because it tastes better.

While I am a really good chef, I basically follow the same few techniques for all my cooking.

I get bored with everything very easily. Unfortunately, this even includes most people. 

I'm only nice because it's respectful. With people I don't need to respect, I'm a downright asshole.

There was a kid I made fun of in high school, and tried to apologize, but I couldn't find him. I feel guilty as hell about it.

I occasionally get caught in my mind, in a conflict of good and evil. I will depict one side of myself as a demon and the other as an angel. Both side has wings and immense strength, but each side has an advantage over the other. The angel has an immense amount of controlled strength and the demon has crazy chaos type strength. 

I often tap into these when I'm fighting. 

While I really like boxing and karate, my natural fighting instinct is closer to grappling. 

In a relationship, I want to be dominant in public, but submissive in private. I don't mind switching roles.

I have a problem with anger and sadness getting the best of me. While I hide it away, it makes me seem like I don't want to communicate when that's all I do want.

My mother has pointed out to me that I'm not empathetic, or, in other words, I don't show my love outwardly. This is actually a ruse I put on, because I love unbelievably amounts, but I don't want to seem clingy or like a wuss.

For whatever reason, my mind has been focus on being masculine as possible, ever since middle school. 

I am fat, and I can accept that. However, I would rather be skinny for many reasons. Unfortunately, one of those reasons are that, for a really long time, I thought it would make me happy. Someone had to specifically tell me that it wouldn't before I understood it, but it's still something I often think is true.

My twin brother and I have felt lonely for the longest time. However, if I was offered the opportunity to end my loneliness or to end my brother's, I'd choose him. 

When it comes to sharing, my brother and I have a strange, unspoken agreement. I get quantity, and he gets quality. 

My identical twin brother is about an inch shorter and fifty-plus pounds lighter than me. I'm extremely jealous of the fact that he is lighter, but a little egotistical that I'm bigger than he is.

Despite how much I love fighting, my twin brother doesn't. Every once in a rare blue moon, he'll agree to fight. However, his natural instincts kick in, and he's faster than me, so we often get to a draw or he'll win. 

I sometimes let my brother win things just to keep his spirits up.

I've recently been thinking of changing my url because the "fatmatt" part of it might be destructive.

[chasingdownmatt]

So, might as well tell you.

I haven't worked out in a while and I feel fairly guilty for calling myself a fitblr. My calorie count is probably at least 2500 regularly. I am weak as hell nowadays. I haven't even practiced a martial arts routine in 2 weeks. 

I can't run, but 20 feet or so, and even that's kind of pushing it. 

I know I need to do it, but like I said a looooong time ago, it's hard finding that drive. I don't know how I was doing it before. I see all these fabolous people and their stories and I want to be like that. I want live past 60 and not feel like I'm undeserving of someone. I know it's more than just losing weight. It's body image and self confidence. I am just in need of some push.

[chasingdownmatt]

102 things I like about myself

My height. Love it

The fact that I often strive to be a gentleman.

I'm old fashioned.

But with new, liberal ideas. 

I'm willing to ask questions.

I pick-up knowledge very quickly.

I love patterns.

I am an amazing cook.

I'm generous.

I can work hard.

I'm an all-or-nothing kind of guy.

Older ladies like me.

I'm attracted to small girls, because they equate to being cute.

I have big hands.

People are often jealous of my beard.

I am precise.

I like math.

I have a twin brother I can rely on.

I'm creative.

I forget a lot, but some of those are bad things anyways.

I can build up courage.

I actually got the balls to go to a therapist.

I actually got the balls to ask two girls out.

I always want to do better.

I do things better almost every time I try again.

I'm damn good at Galaga.

I can only focus on one thing at a time. 

I love my parents.

I do well in emergencies.

I have the ability to make most of my headaches go away with a meditation type of thing.

I am thoughtful.

People often compliment me on the things I do.

I can meditate. 

I will probably never have a situation where I can absolutely not get a job.

I criticize plans to make them better.

I love money.

I understand concepts very well.

I can hear music and really get into it.

I can see fairly well.

I can taste critically. 

I have strong legs. 

I am big.

I am very reliable.

I am old school when it comes to keeping promises. Don't make them if you don't think you can keep them, and I genuinely feel bad when I can't. 

I have a strong conscience. 

I am a good person.

I can do many things others can't.

I am pretty responsible.

I can grow a beard.

I heal relatively fast. 

My organs work pretty well.

I schedule myself fairly well, and almost always get a decent amount of sleep.

I love tremendously.

I don't hate very easily, and when I do, I feel bad about it.

I have, not a bucket list, but a bachelor list. Things to do before I get married.

I like to sing, even if I'm not that good most of the time.

I like classical music and vocal jazz (think Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin)

I try to be funny.

I would probably survive if I got lost in the woods.

I know better.

I'm a casual gamer.

I can see when I'm messing up.

I can see solutions others can't.

I'm a fantastic reader. 

I would read to whoever I'm with, even if I stumble on my words.

I love some people too much.

I'm knowledgeable and wise.

I'm an alright artist.

My handwriting is mostly legible.

I work hard when I actually do work.

I'm likely to choose fight over flight.

I like martial arts and understand it.

I try to get out of my comfort zone fairly often.

I don't really have any dark secrets.

I can speak basic Spanish and Mandarin.

I love new languages!

Brain games are fun.

I drive very safe.

I know how to put aside my nervousness to get something done.

I have gotten drunk before.

I can step out of my comfort zone and do a little dance.

I can do The Wobble, The Cha-Cha Slide, the Chicken, and a few other dances.

I can usually see both sides of an issue.

My beard is red, but my normal hair is brown.

I have blue eyes that occasionally turn green and even grey at times.

I know when to fall for peer pressure and when not to.

Conversely, I typically know when to push people and when not to.

I've been to a bar and boughten a drink for someone before. Granted, it was only a friend, but I've done it.

I overcome my social anxiety daily.

My dick is of, at least, average size.

I have a healthy libido.

I have very light sexual preferences, but plenty of fetishes.

I once solved a situation, at my old job, that even the manager couldn't handle.

I always set the bar high for myself.

I almost always get my work done.

I have all ten fingers and toes.

I have a degree in Culinary Management and will soon have one in Computer Science.

I'm pretty good with technology.

I like Disney movies.

I can be convinced to do almost anything that is possible and within my means.

I like Pokemon, Dragonball Z, Attack on Titan, etc. and am lurker of many, many fandoms.

I've learned a lot in the past year.

[chasingdownmatt]

Since no one wanted to ask anything...

... Here's ten facts you might not know about me.

Late nights are a trigger for me, and make me feel depressed and really lonely.

I have almost no self-esteem.

I have ruined every relationship I was in, because I never want to show how clingy I really am. I end up being distant and screwing it up.

I am a computer science major, to graduate this year, but I actually don't care too much for it and am not very good at it.

I'm one of those guys who fall for every cute, short girl who comes around. It doesn't help that I find 98% of girls as cute, and I'm six foot one inch. 

I'm a very precise person, and I spend too much time making things perfect, but I'm also a messy person.

I am more contradictory than I am a straight line. 

My biggest regret is not asking out a very specific girl, and this regret has led to me becoming a more risk-taking individual.

I have a twin brother who is a lot like me, but quieter, less precise, faster, has more energy, is smaller, and takes less chances. He's a bit of a mama's boy, but that's not all bad. I give him a hard time sometimes, but he'll always be my best friend and he'll have to approve my wife before I'll ever ask her to marry me. He's more important than anything and I would, literally, give my life for him. I see a better future for him than I, but I know he sees it the other way around. I see that he's a bit jealous of the fact that I managed to actually leave the food industry and started a degree in another field. He's not doing too well in the little schooling he's gotten.

I really have no idea what I'm going to do in the future. All of the things I want to do, is actually things others want for me.