Out of character for a sec -
We're all here playing with kinks that are, at best, only slightly problematic. I had someone I was chatting with go from us telling each other about some of the spicier scenes we've each done, to them basically telling me I should die. And it wasn't anything particularly reprehensible!
(I'm having my "fakeboy" introduce "herself" as a cis woman to the people I'm "making her" go fuck. Because it's more degrading. They said we're basically raping these people because we're not telling them that "she" isn't cis)
(preface - There some VERY OBVIOUS hard limits we should all have. There are some UNAMBIGUOUSLY NOT OKAY types of sexual content. You all know what I'm talking about. This isn't about that)
I understand that we all have our own rules for ourselves. That not everyone would be comfortable with everything. But let's use exhibitionist kinks as an example.
Are you sexually harassing the people around you if your partner controls a remote vibe while I'm out in public?
What if they make you call a friend or family member while they eat you out, and you have to keep it together?
Is it still informed consent if your tell your partner to go ask a stranger to fuck you? What if you don't tell the stranger that this no strings attached blowjob is part of a larger humiliation scene with your "owner" and they're getting off on knowing you're degrading yourself?
Your partner asks you to touch yourself to your best friend's Instagram pictures? Your partner has you go out in public in something skimpy with degrading body writing? Is rapeplay violating survivors of SA who might see you posting about it? Is Intox play unethical? Roleplaying as a fictional character your partner thinks is hot. Roleplaying as someone your partner used to date?
We're getting up on stuff because it feels fucked up. (Not the "should on everyone's hard nos list" stuff!) But Jesus Christ people, you lose the right to high road someone about the nuances of their kink scenarios when you're getting off to rape, misgendering, and dehumanizing people.
I assume everyone agrees, but like, I'm still hurt! They seemed cool and we'd been just kind of info dumping about kink to each other for days. And to get hit with something like that when I was feeling open and comfy just really fucked up my whole day and I feel so deeply unsexy now. I'll be fine, but like, what the hell?
