“Náro,” he says again, his voice heavy. “I will be wed tomorrow.”
Despite himself, Fëanáro’s jaw clenches, his fingers flexing. “I am well aware. The preparations are hard to miss. So was the invitation, and my father’s endless lectures about a united family, and—“
“Náro.” A third time, and now Nolofinwë sounds truly irritated, the furrow between his brows that ever Fëanáro has been most skilled at drawing forth; that ever, to his delight, prefaces a thunderstorm. “This will be our last—we have to stop. We have to stop doing this. Can you not—“
Fëanáro knows what Nolofinwë is asking. Knows that what they have both long since pretended to ignore is split wide open between them, and that it is only wilful pretence that lets them continue to act like this means nought. That this is a game, a pushing of boundaries, a mixing of fighting and pleasure, at whose end they still cannot stand each other much better.
But how to admit that he considers a brother whom he fucks behind closed doors? How to admit that he fucks his brother, and it is not mere need to prove something of which he has long since lost sight? How to admit—
“Can I not what?” he asks, at last. “What do you want me to say, Nolvo—oh no, brother, please do not wed, so that we may continue our ill-advised degeneracy behind closed doors? Do you want me to fuck you slow and gentle, tell you that it has always been you, truly, that I will ruin your wedding and leave my wife, so we may run away to live life—“
Nolofinwë reverses their positions with such force that Fëanáro slams into the wood panelling, all air punched out of his lungs. This is more like it; this is how they began, what they know, what is, in the end, all they ever ought to be to each other—Nolofinwë’s features contorted in fury and hurt, Fëanáro flashing his teeth like he is just waiting to cause more of the same.