DAY 23: GUNSHOT WOUND Fandom: Star Wars Rating: T Warnings: Character death, blood and injury, kind of gore, grief, intense pain, war Relationship: Anakin Skywalker/Rex tho you can read it as platonic love
-I demand to see my Captain!- Anakin roared, his teeth greeted in impatience and frustration.
-I’m afraid he is not in his best condition, it is better if we just leave him…
-I will see him. Now- he growled.
Frowning, the nurse let him in the tent and left, obviously annoyed. Anakin almost pushed him out of his way, eager to see the state of his friend.
Given his rank, Rex was there all alone. He didn’t have to share his tent with dying men, listen to their cries as he himself suffered, see how they would carry their corpses out, covered by a bloody sheet, but for a second Anakin dread the silence that welcomed him.
He approached his Captain. He wasn’t sleeping, despite all the meds Anakin knew he had taken to reduce the pain. His eyes were looking into the distance, empty of all emotion, his forehead all sweaty and his chest moving irregularly.
Seeing him like this broke him, killed a part of him. He will never forgive himself for letting this happen to Rex.
He should have been there, by his side, like they had always been.
But he had been assigned to another unit, they had only been separated by a few miles, it was going to be fine…
In each battle, Anakin lost track of time. Everything was just dust, guns noises and the smell of blood sticking to his skin. He always tried to focus on small details to help him focus, or the enormity of war would drive him crazy. The pain in his hand from pulling the trigger too many times, the sand touching his face as he lay on the ground, the sun burning his neck.
And when all had ended, it was already late.
He had returned to the camp, tired, looking for Rex, to spend the evening with him, relaxing.
At first, he couldn’t find him, but surely he was all right, there was no need to worry.
And then, someone, he couldn’t recall who, had informed him with a shaky voice that Rex had been wounded.
Shot in the abdomen.
Brave, kind, compassionate, clever Rex.
So, there he was.
It had to be a nightmare, yet there he was. Focusing on Rex’s heartbeat as he would focus on his own while on a battle. Looking at his partner's eyes, trying to find something that will assure him that he will be fine in them.
He shook him softly.
-Rex?- he tried.
Nothing.
-Rex
This time, he snapped out of wherever his mind had been. Slowly, his eyes turned and met Anakin’s. He tried to smile, but he wasn’t sure if he had managed to look too convincing.
-Hey- Rex said, almost surprised to see him.
-Hey- Anakin repeated.
Rex analyzed his face, and said nothing, as if he was still processing where he was and what had happened. Finally, slowly again, he smiled.
-I’m glad you’re here.
-Of course- Anakin assured fiercely.
-Are you all right?- the blonde asked. Anakin did not know how to feel about that question. Rex was wounded, losing blood, under indescribable pain, and he had the guts to ask him if he was okay?
-Of course I am, stupid, what about you?!- he couldn’t help himself but to almost shout at him, desperately.
-I am glad you are here- he repeated, a small smile still on his face. Anakin breathed in and out to calm himself and remember that Rex was probably drugged.
-Yeah, but what about your abdomen? Does the shot hurt too much? I could call the nurse…- he insisted.
-No, it's fine. I don’t feel anything.
Rex said that as if it was something good, but Anakin felt there was something wrong still
-Too many meds?
Rex frowned, and looked up again, as if he was looking at something invisible.
-No, not too many meds. But the nurse told me I wouldn’t be able to feel anything under my waist. Ever again.
Anakin's blood ran cold. The world surrounding him disappeared, he felt like floating.
He had said it with such ease…
-No, that can not be true, she would have told me about it- he denied, angry again, but not at Rex. He didn’t know with whom he was mad, but he wanted to have someone to blame. Even better, something to punch.
- It can’t be, Rex, your wound is not that bad, it was just a regular shot on your side, you have faced worse, I’m sure.
Again, he wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince Rex or himself.
Rex’s eyes were empty again, and Anakin knew he wasn’t getting anything of him for now.
Carefully, checkin Rex’s expression looking for any sign of pain, he removed the sheet that covered his friend’s body. Surely it couldn't be that bad.
But what he saw left him breathless. He was sure his heart stopped for a horrifying second.
It was not a bullet wound, at least not from just one bullet. The whole left side of his abdomen had disappeared, replaced by a mass of coagulated blood and broken flesh.The sheets underneath him were red, yet the wound was clean and it wasn’t bleeding anymore.
Anakin felt like throwing up. His hip was visible, the bone too white against all the red.
Scared to death, he realized how the skin under the injury was not red, it was pale blue. In fact, despite the light being dim in the tent, he could see his whole body was too pale.
-Rex- he tried to call. His voice sounded weak, but he needed to be strong. His friend needed him more than he had realized.- Rex, stay with me, can you hear me?
He didn’t respond.
He went to touch him, to shake him again, but what he felt froze him. His skin was cold, too cold, covered with sweat. Not wanting to think what that could mean, he went to his wrist, searching for his pulse. He looked at his chest looking for a steady breathing rhythm.
Realization dawned on him.
Anakin knew war too well to not be able to recognize how blood loss looked. And Rex had surely lost too much, for his pulse was weak and his breathing far from regular.
-God, Rex, you need help- he whispered. Shock was settling in his brain and body and he could not let that happen.
-Somebody, please, help!!- he shouted.- He needs help, NOW!
Finally, Rex moved.
-Why are you shouting, my head hurts… - he whined.
Anakin felt terrible for causing him more pain, but he really needed to get someone there, soon, or else…
-Medic here! Help!- he continued.
Nobody came.
He had to do something, act quickly, so hating himself even more, he ran away from Rex’s side.
-I’ll be back- he promised.
But he couldn’t even get out of the tent before bumping into someone.
-Hey! What are you doing here?
-He has lost too much blood, he needs help! - he shouted at him, startled but relieved.
And yet, the nurse did nothing.
Angry and wanting to cry, because each second that passed he was closer to losing Rex, he grabbed the man by his arm and took him inside the tent.
-He needs help!! What are you waiting for?!- his throat was sore, he really felt like a child asking for something impossible, and he didn’t like that.
Tired and angrier than ever, he turned around to look at the other man. He saw he was looking at Rex, then looked at him. He was… sad?
-What are you waiting for?!?!- he roared. There was not time to be sad, Rex was dying and…
-Rex Fett, fatal wound on the abdomen, I'm afraid there's nothing we can do for him. He was given meds for it to be painless but…
-NO! How can you give up?! He's not dying, do your DAMN job and SAVE HIM!!
He was lying, Rex was not going to die, not under his watch.
He grabbed him, tried to force him to come closer, to look at his patient because surely there was something he could do. The man didn’t take that too well, and tried to resist, which only made Anakin angrier, because how could he not look at Rex, save him…
Perhaps someone had shouted, because suddenly there were more people in the tent. Strong and familiar arms embrace him, keeping him away from the medic. Unconsciously, he knew it was Obi-Wan, but he felt as if he was under water. He could not hear anything, he wanted to shout but it felt as if his words were not heard, as if only bubbles came out of his mouth.
“He can’t die, he can’t die…”
Anakin could not tell when, but at some point he had stopped fighting against his friends arms, and he was on the floor, his legs feeling too weak. He could hear Obi-Wan’s voice now.
-It will be okay Anakin, it will be okay, calm down, they are only trying to help, okay? It will be okay, it will be painless…
That last sentence made him come back to his senses. Yet he remembered Rex’s injury and feeling the most intense pain he had ever suffered, he knew.
His whole body hurt. He felt as if his soul wanted to tear apart his chest, to run away from the pain and the loss. He felt as if he couldn’t breathe.
-I want to be by his side- he said, nevertheless.
If he was doomed to lose him, he would see him again. If these were the last moments they were going to have together in the same world, they would spend them together. If Rex was going to go, he would do it beside Anakin, as they had done everything; together.
-Very well- Obi-Wan responded, sadness in his voice too.
He felt like he was still underwater as he approached Rex again, as if the tide was pushing him backwards, but finally he was next to his friend, holding his hand, as if it had always been like that, both of them holding hands, nothing between them.
But Anakin could feel a gap, something that was threatening to break their bond.
Because Rex was dying.
Still he held his hands because he had to ignore that gap, he had to be strong for both of them one last time.
-Hey - he brought himself to say, trying not to think about how Rex had said the exact same thing when he had come to visit him right after the battle, when he still believed it was just another wound that would add to his friend's scar collection…
He did not let his mind follow that path.
Rex looked back at him, and found Anakin's eyes. Even though his consciousness was getting lost in the fog that the pills had created, he recognized Anakin's face.
And Rex smiled one last time.
He didn’t have to say anything, any word was useless in that situation, and any thing they could have wanted to say, the other one already knew.
“I love you”
“I don't know how I'll keep going without you”
“I don't want to leave you”
“I'll miss you”
“Goodbye”
They said that and much more with just one more look, and yet sooner than it was fair, it was over.
The little light that was left in Rex’s eyes went out, his smile forever frozen, the soldier's loving expression as a last farewell.
Anakin looked away, not wanting to ever remember how his dead face looked, only how his partner's expression had looked when he was alive, happy, laughing about something stupid he had just said.
Anakin freed Rex’s hand, not wanting to learn how cold his skin could get.
He just curled down beside his bed and cried, an angry and pained sob finally escaping from his chest.
link to my ao3 work
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tags: @febuwhump
