For Brella (tumblr is a shit)
Well, well, well.....where should we begin? I mean, we could always just jump straight into the aftermath of Depths, and the unbelievable heart-wrenching pain that goes along with it for both Wally and Artemis...you know, just adding to the pain that everyone else feels as well.
But firstly, lets just draw in some connections from other episodes first...may I start with directing your attention to Salvage. Artemis says in Depths that Wally is afraid that getting back into the hero gig is going to suck her right back in and she wont be able to give it up - and she's right, he is scared of that. Only a month before, he had to help hold an intervention for a friend who has gone through a similar thing, being sucked into somehting and not being able to give it up - which has affected the guy pretty damn harshly. So yeah, Wally is pretty damn terrified of that happening to Artemis - or anyone else really - and while he may try to rationalize that Artemis is stronger than that - she'll be able to control it just fine, there's going to be that little scratchy voice saying 'that's what you thought about Roy, too'.
Now we tie back to a few parts of season one. It was evident in season one that Wally has an insecurity of not being fast enough - not getting there in time. He didn't save Kent in time, in the stimulation, he didn't save Artemis in time, he was fooled into believing that he didn't save Perdita in time. This, most likely happened during the gap too, with Tula's death and possible deaths of other people who were in the team - or just with civilians - it would have happened again though, that's for sure. But now, with Artemis going undercover, it's not a matter of not getting there in time, it's a matter of he's not even able to /try/ and get there in time. I mean, he would always keep trying in other circumstances, but in this one, he isn't able to even /try/.
And, to say it simply, the world and the gig is so much different now than is was when they started - so much has changed, it's like all of the original members have been dragged from their warmth and comfort and safety and have been thrown into a bucket of ice water. They're ALL flailing to adapt, work through the changes. In some cases it changes them, their perspective and actions because they have no idea what else to do but adapt to survive.
I don't even know what that last paragraph was about.
Anyway. You know, Artemis, while being undercover, is probably going to find that she's weaker now than she was before. She's spent the last five year breaking down the barrier that she had put up between herself and everybody else. She deigned to let love in and love in return, and now, being thrown back into the world that she spent so long trying to escape from, she's going to find that those five years have made her weak, and the only way she can stay strong enough to get this job done is to build those barriers back up and try to relinquish the security and love she allowed herself to have over the last five years.
By the time she comes out of being undercover, she's probably going to be just as closed off and insecure and trying to push people away as she was when she first joined the team, and pretty much - every positive development that she got would be hidden away deep inside her because she's too afraid to let it back out in fear that she'll end up weak again.
DUDE - idek what I'm doing anymore I'm going to bed.
