On writing femslash
I'm having a wee moment of deep feelings here. The first long fic I've ever wrote was a Pansmione, in Portuguese, back in 2010. It took me 2 years to write it and it was 95k long.
Pansmione has a very deep meaning to me, personally, as I was introduced to pansmione fics even before I read any drarry. A very dear friend told me about a fic, a Brazilian fic titled Forty Shades of Green (even before the 50 shades of grey came out) by nika-chan. It was eye opening, it was like freedom.
It was back in 2006, when I myself was still figuring out how to be bisexual when in my circle of friends and acquaintances I had no bisexual person to relate to. Those dark polarised years in Brazil...
Pansmione for me was an open door, it was like exploring all those feelings and attractions to other women in a safe way, in que quietness of my computer, in the tempestuous waters of my confused and eager mind. Before all the hell broke lose at my home and I was outed and so much trauma proceded.
Today, I'm feeling quite mellow. I'm almost finishing writing my new pansmione fic, it's not very long, not even 30k, but something inside of me is just moved by the fact that, after all this time, after all I've lived, I can still look at this pairing and feel connected, seen, real, understood.
Incredible how fanfics have been the biggest constant hobby of my life, as long as writing, and how much I appreciate the fact that I have this. I hope I can manage to finish writing it and sharing this new story with whoever wants to read. I'm eager to know what people will think of it, I'm eager to put out there my small bit of sapphic love in the open.
