#festeringfreak

[festeringfreak]

Waiting here pathetically, missing him so fucking much. Just to see him right now, feel his lips against mine. It would change everything. Instead I lay here, staring at the ceiling, pretending my heartbeat is his.

[festeringfreak]

he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine he's mine

[festeringfreak]

Really wish my mom didn't literally fucking hate me and not give a single fuck that I was abused.

[festeringfreak]

Suffering was never meant to be beautiful. Suffering isn't supposed to be attractive. I fucking hate losers who are all "uwu beauty in suffering I'm gonna look so good when I suffer enough". Be honest with yourself. I suffer, both on purpose and without any control of my situation, in order to look repulsive. Suffering makes us repulsive. Be okay with being disgusting for fuck sake.

[festeringfreak]

Maybe one day I can trust someone. But until then, I have no one but myself.

[festeringfreak]

Idk what about me makes it so easy to avoid me, ignore me, abandon me... But it's always when I'm suffering from my chronic illnesses so maybe it's just everyone actually hates disabled people and doesn't wanna be around us and even the closest people to us are still ableist.

[festeringfreak]

I've been struggling a lot, but I'm alive. That's really all that matters, huh.

[festeringfreak]

Maybe one day victims can be victims and criminals can be punished and I didn't realize how many humans are just horrible fucking people I had more hope and I don't have that anymore.