thinking about sam winchester. thinking about how every person he's held close to his heart is still closer to dean than to sam. thinking about sam winchester as the second choice, the overlooked, the maligned, the restlessly unloved, the secretly unwanted. pouring himself out endlessly for everyone he cares about and only receiving pain and heartbreak in return. sam winchester who prays every night in the hope that he's not as unsalvageable and abandoned as he feels. who keeps the faith even when life's horrors want him to sink into despair. who is expected to be strong and sure and calm and in control all of the time for everyone around him to rely on, while being taken for granted. the less attractive sibling. the abomination. the biblically unclean. sam winchester, who saved the world more than once but is only ever known as john winchester's son or dean winchester's little brother. sam winchester who is a footnote in his own life.
