I was scraping my legs trying a body hair removal cream for the first time out of curiosity, kind of awing at the weird way my skin coloured from scraping where my skin was almost purplish with red streaks from the fresh paths I scraped and it made me consider the general nature of body hair removal culture with humans and that made me think...
You know what time it is
U-huh...
I think Bill would really enjoy in an s/o if his s/o grew a BUNCH of body hair. Yes, yes, ik, this is a huge headcanon, everyone thinks he's love Ford's bellyhair and whatever, shush, listen to me. Cuz w that it's a big thing...
I think he's specifically like that so it'd grow back fast and thick and he could convince you to let him get rid of it. I think he'd LOVE trying a bunch of different things. Those ripping strap things are OBVIOUSLY his favorite and he spares no empathy what so ever w that, but there is like a million different methods humans have made up just to nuke this organic part if the body. Can we try lazer removal next?! CAN WE, CAN WE?!
He'd be like kid on candy isle if you lived in a world where u can just go to a store casually and u pass the hygiene isle. He'll take hold of the back of your collar and drav you to that spot w your basket or cart or whatever(cuz no way he's carrying stuff, maybe he could push a cart wheel, but it's more likely he'd speed with it around the store w/o you playing a game of let's see how long it takes for me to crash and seriously destroy something of value)
If there is any stubborn thick single hairs he is way too fucking eager to pull out a pair of pincers PFFTTT he's gonna giggle if you yelp or flinch. And if you actually like frame it as a thing of thank you for helping me he's gonna be even more cocky and gleeful and just so happy with himself.
Anyway, all said and done, Bill has an absolute blast ripping away, chemically withering, lazer zapping, blade shaving etc at anything he can, he's gonna float back all proud and giddy and linger there for a second before his grin drops to a blank look of dissociation because the consequences of his actions has finally hit.
And then he's going to be really upset and throw a pout fest that you look weird and different and your legs etc (depending on how eager he was.) aren't fuzzy furry pettable anymore and this is YOUR fault now for letting him do that!!!
