Of Bending Rules [And Other Reckless Behaviors]
Summary: In which you break the only rule of being friends with benefits.
Pairing: Santiago "Pope" Garcia x F!Reader
Warnings: *All of my works are M for mature so 18+ please; alcohol consumption, language (in both English and Spanish), mentions of death, sex, and mature topics. Romantic!Santi gets his own warning.
Word Count: 2.3K
Day 15 of the FFWC2022, Friends with Benefits AU
A/N: I am a day early, but I can't stand the waiting late and also an idiot. Have some soft!Santi. Enjoy <3
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“No! That was definitely Benny!” You managed to say, clutching your sides as the laughter rippled through you. You wiped a hand against your eye, an errant tear having formed from laughing so hard. Benny shot you daggers across the table, while Will and Frankie chuckled at his expense.
“Give him a break, Bug.” Santi admonished from across the table, sending you a blistering look, his eyes dark with an unspoken warning. In defense, you held your hands up, a mock surrender.
“Fine, Pope. Next round on me, for the trauma I’ve inflicted Baby.” You smirked into your drink, before draining the last dregs of the beer. Benny flipped you off, but took off to grab the next round anyway. This was your weekly meet up spot, a fairly new tradition since the fiasco of South America, and the barkeep was generally easy about the shared tabs. Not that the good natured ribbing was new for any of you, you’d served together overseas for years. You and Benny had been in basic together, but it was a no brainer for the Brass to stick you two on a squad with his brother. You all worked together on and off the field, it was something that had never needed to be trained or nurtured.
Of course, things stateside had gone sideways for a while. Frankie had dove nose first into civilian life, Will struggled with PTSD–the field medic of it all, Benny tried to punch away the looming pain, Tom had blown his marriage apart, and Santi, well Santi had never stopped. These men, your brothers, you loved them fiercely.
When you had gotten the call from Santi, you’d walked out of your dead end job while on the phone with him. Some retail gig to hold you over between semesters, a perk of time served meant a healthy stipend to go back to school. Benny had laughed when you told him you wanted to be a park ranger, back when you had first joined up, his only point of reference being Smokey the Bear. He had taken to calling you firebug exclusively, until all that remained of your goal was a bastardized nickname.
On the other side of it, on the other side of hell, you knew it was time to try. What else could you do? You had only a few credits left to complete when Santi had called, and the temptation to scratch that itch of adventure had won out against everything you had built. Even if it was only a week.
Santi regretted his part, you could see it in how he handled himself around the group, how reserved he had become. He had disappeared for a few months after, but you were relentless, and finally he answered your endless calls.
He only agreed to come back if he could stay with you; he was broke. And would you maybe pick him up from the airport. You agreed without hesitation, even paying for his flight.
Life with him had been easy; you and Benny had shared an apartment for years, so when he moved in with his girlfriend you had felt a little lonely, almost lost. Santiago had filled the place perfectly. He was always down for anything, and when he landed on his feet he paid you back, with interest. Now, you could hardly pay for anything beyond your half of the bills. You tried fighting him, but he shrugged you off, mumbling about your expensive ass car note and those damn bottles of wine you’d hooked him on–the only things he’d let you pay for.
The first time you had sex, it shouldn’t have surprised you that you were so compatible. It wasn’t a romance thing, at least you didn’t want to think so. A one time thing, you’d told him afterwards, and he had agreed. It happened so quickly, you blamed stress and proximity, but when it happened again you weren’t upset.
And when it happened a third time, you sought him out. You’d formed an easy truce after that: fuck buddies. It was just another perk of sharing a place, you’d laughed. He had agreed, again, his dark eyes checking every inch of your face. You had turned slightly away then, letting the dark of the room obscure you, because you knew you were full of shit. He did too.
Santiago, for all his bullheadedness, wouldn’t contradict you about it. You never really knew where he stood in the entire situation.
There were a few things you did know. A few rules you had set, and one he had placed, finally taking stake in the conversation.
“A couple things, though,” you had told him, sitting up in bed, his dark eyes never leaving yours. He nodded, always surprisingly quiet after, almost reflective, a far cry from the usual confident and smug mouth you had gotten used to. “If we sleep with other people, then we should be upfront about it. Also, routine testing, if that’s the case. Oh, and if you want people over, or a girl over, or whatever, that’s fine. Maybe a heads up, though?” You watched his small smile falter, before quietly agreeing. You had hoped that he wouldn’t even want to, but his reputation didn’t do him many favors, and it’s not like you were looking for something more serious. A casual thing should be casual, so you were trying.
“Second, no butt stuff.” You told him, hoping to be more commanding than you were. He chuckled, but you kept your eyebrows together in finality. “I’m serious, Garcia, not even a single finger.” He had laughed harder then, his arms snaking around your waist to pull you flat against his chest. You had squirmed to get away, but his grip was ironclad.
“Promise.” You whined, finally, knowing you’d never get away.
“Fine, mariquita, I promise not to put anything up your ass.” You had groaned into his chest, then. Rolling your eyes at his obtuseness, but relishing in the feeling of him under you. You pulled away to look at him, and found him smugly grinning. You really wanted to drive this last rule home.
“Last one, let’s not tell the guys. I feel like it would be weird. They’d make it weird. Especially not Ben.” You watched his face fall completely then, and you’d never felt like a bigger asshole. But, it wasn’t like you were hiding him, it was just sex. If he had to tell Frankie, you could maybe let it slide, but you’d never hear the end of it from the Miller brothers.
“Fine. But I have a rule too,” He had declared then, only a hint of the playfulness remaining, despite your position. You nodded, sliding off of his lap, the bed beginning to cool in your absence. “Don’t fall in love with me.”
You had really tried, you had. But Santiago was easy to fall in love with. After you had set the rules, everything changed. It’s like he was trying, or maybe challenging, you to fall for him. He brought you flowers, rubbed your shoulders, cooked intricate dinners for you, took you to restaurants alone, and fucked you like the world was ending every single time.
The only thing saving you, the only thing that was keeping you from calling the whole thing off, was how he acted around the guys. As soon as the boys were around, Santi became cold, distant, and almost cruel. He wouldn’t joke with you, even as he used to. But as soon as you were back in his car, driving home and away from prying eyes, he was all over you.
It had been your rule, your own doing, but it stung worse every single time. You had suspected that the guys would figure something was off by how callous Santi was to you, but no one even seemed to notice. He would laugh with them, then use the same breath to punish you.
Like he was doing now.
“Ah, cabrón, will you leave her alone? Every week, it’s the same. Maybe it’s time to look for a new place to stay? Before you kill each other.” Frankie warned, before sipping his own beer. You could feel your cheeks warming, you could feel the intensity of Santi’s eyes on you, and under the table you could feel Frankie shift uncomfortably as he usually did when nervous. Will broke the silence first.
“Lots of unnecessary tension, it’s the silent killer, you know? How long have you guys been together?” You and Santi gave each other a look that no one missed, and Frankie and Will started laughing, heavy belly laughter.
“You should see yourselves, c’mon, it’s over, just tell us.” Frankie urged, still chuckling. You looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“How long did you know?” You asked, confused. Also, embarrassed that they found it so funny. This is what you had been afraid of, you realized with mounting regret. That they would think you were too…or not enough…or…just not Santi’s normal type. You knew he went after beautiful women, and you never wanted to be compared to them, your confidence was never that high. And while the team was respectful, this was still four handsome men who had their pick of women.
“The whole time.” Will told you, smiling softly at you. You rubbed your brow in agitation, unable to let this go. They were going to treat this like a dumb game, and at the end of it, you’d be the butt of the joke.
“Yeah, but how?” You repeated, more pointedly at Frankie, knowing Will wouldn’t give anything up. Benny sat the round down and looked around the table.
“How what? What’d I miss?” He asked, and you nearly growled in frustration. Frankie nodded at you and then Santi, and you could practically hear the gears turning in Ben’s head.
“Oh, Santi! You told her?” Ben exclaimed, before clapping his hands together. “Finally! Let’s do shots!” Will’s arm shot out and grabbed his younger brother by the sleeve and yanked him down.
“Not that, you idiot. Just the sex part.” He explained and Ben looked at you completely stricken.
“Shit, bug, I’m sorry. Uhm, maybe shots are what we need.” You narrowed your eyes at him, before turning to look at Santi who hadn’t said anything.
“What are these idiots talking about?” You asked, feeling panic rising up in your throat. It could have also been the four beers you’d had, or the shots you’d had, but either way you were about to cry or puke. You watched his face, knowing he was working through whatever he was trying to say, but the moment was too much. He was taking too long, everyone knew it but you, and you had to assume he had told the guys, despite that being a rule.
You had already broken his rule, he couldn’t break yours, they were the only things keeping this together.
“Mariquita…” Santi began, finally meeting your eyes, and you saw it there under the surface, the answer. What you knew all along, what you hadn’t wanted to admit, what you’d been lying to yourself about. You knew he loved you too, of course he did, but you couldn’t accept that. How could you, you were you.
You broke eye contact, clenched your fists, and stood up. You had to get some air, anything. The room was too crowded and too intimate all at once. You couldn’t stand the guys looking at you anymore, not when Santi was looking at you like that, not when you felt so vulnerable and scared. You stepped outside despite the calls for you to come back and walked to the edge of the parking lot. You weren’t leaving, you told yourself, just having a full blown panic attack.
A heavy hand on your back announced Santi’s arrival. He must have known, like he always did, always anticipating what you would need.
“How long?” You asked, your voice shaky and barely above a whisper. He rubbed your back thoughtfully, spreading his fingers and moving slowly.
“Always.” You met his gaze then, his eyes darker and more full than you’d ever seen them.
“Really?” You challenged, thinking back to the first time you’d met him.
You and Ben had just been transferred to Tom’s Delta Force team, and you were both scared shitless. You’d heard Ben’s secondhand stories from his brother about Redfly and Fish and Pope, and your heart was hammering against your chest when you’d met them. All lined up, at attention, for a couple of kids. Each of them shook your hands, welcoming you to the team, but you’d been too scared to notice, too terrified of doing the wrong thing that you hadn’t really taken any of them in.
Weeks later, after you’d been more acquainted, you’d noticed how beautiful they all were. Never wanting to break the bonds of “brotherhood” you were building, you had shoved those thoughts down as far as they would go. You’d never gotten over Santi’s smile though, when he hit you with, full force, wide beam, your legs turned to jelly. He could get anything he asked for with it.
“Really.” He answered back quickly, using his other hand to cup your cheek.
“Then why make your rule?” You wondered, more to yourself, but he swiped his thumb gently over your cheek before kissing you. When he pulled back he rested his forehead against yours and sighed.
“I was scared.” The simple confession was all you needed. That’s why you had made your own rules, too. It was fear.
“What about the guys?”
“Ah, pendejos. They always knew, and they’d been bothering me to tell you for years. They thought that us living together would speed things up. I guess they did.” He chuckled softly, kissing you again.
“Tell me then.” You demanded, pulling back from his lips, denying yourself the pleasure to hear it.
“Te amo.” He whispered automatically, chasing your lips.
“English, please.” You insisted, turning your head again with a teasing smile. He groaned, closing his eyes, before opening them with a new hunger.
“I love you, mariquita. I always have, yeah? Now kiss me.” So you did.
tagged: @certifiedhunter @greeneyedblondie44 @boxdyeblonde@solemnlyswearss @starlite41
