#fighting inner demons

[throughthefogpress]

Fighting Demons

There are days I wake up already tired. Before my feet even touch the floor, it feels like I’ve been in battle all night — fighting thoughts that refuse to rest, memories that won’t fade, and voices that whisper I’m not enough. People talk about “fighting demons” like it’s some poetic metaphor. But there’s nothing poetic about watching yourself slip away while pretending you’re fine. There’s…

View On WordPress

[dedavedave]

As someone who is still learning how to draw humans comfortably, I find character design to be a real test to my abilities. I might have the eye to know what works and what doesn't, but I don't have the visual library in my brain to know how to improve it. Neither the comfort in drawing freely to just go ham with ideas.

More practice is all I can think of. See how others do it. Learn.

I need not let the skills and overflowing talent of others bring me down... but self-loathing really does leverage on unreasonable thinking.

[romaniaroxme]

When you are in survival mode...

Genre: Psychological Number of episodes:6 Presented by: Warner Bros ” I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me. “ -Jonathan Graham Everything you watch or read has a lesson in it . And some stories just kind of feel like an extension of yours. Have you experienced this ? If you have do tell me which books, movies or web series felt like as if they were an…

View On WordPress

[marcelinesghost13]

I spent my whole life fighting because people don't like that I can see who they really are. So they make up lies, gossip and negative stories about me. The thing is that's just fuel for the FIRE that burns inside of me.

[cryosende]

ppl going down, in all of the world, alone

and i write this while we fight it

some are loosing hope `,-c

[kenz-29]

Untitled

Can you spare

A sane thought or two

Because I swear

What I say is true

I’d like to say

I’m only a bit fucked up

But getting to the end of the day

Is more than a little rough

And there’s no getting back

To what I was before

Because these tracks

Won’t last through the war

Going on inside my head

I’ve lost the battle

My warriors have already fled

And now I can hear the rattle

Of my demons getting closer

I know they’ll put up a fight

All through the night

Something that won’t blow over

[peace-and-light-poetry]

Unusual Pair

She was tempted A voice whispering comfortingly to her Beckoning something toxic

“You know you want to…” it hissed.

She wondered if she should obey Obey and give into its calling Do what it beckoned her to

She sat next to it The person to whom the voice belonged Someone only she could see

They were an unusual pair

A pair that seemed so different A pair when one could see the other A pair that could benefit without either of the two

One was toxic This one took many forms, offering comfort While hissing and whispering otherwise

The other was conflicted She had only one form that contained many Caught between forfeiting and fighting

The toxic one offered something Beckoning her to take it Promising to make it better

She sounded like she meant well However, she couldn’t tell if she meant well And neither could she say she knew

Should I take the offer or should I refuse?

She had done many things Almost each and every choice influenced by conflict Or what seemed right

To accept the offer could cost dearly She doesn’t anticipate consequences well Sometimes, she might disregard them, expecting things to be thus

The toxic one promised no harm Insisting that it would be an easy and wonderful fix, a solution What is considered malicious was once benevolent

She knew this, of course Yet, the same could occur for the inverse Was the one she considered toxic benevolent in a way?

One shouldn’t always trust what only they could see The toxic one sat next to her, yet only she could see her And hear that whispering voice

Her promise sounded sincere So did many others, time and time again She tried many other things that seemed to be a fix

When it turned out to be what breaks

Such the unusual pair

[perverseninjaleprechaun-blog]

Not Thankful, but for two people

Man, we are getting more snow. Along with it supposedly Thanksgiving. I cannot say say I am thankful for anything. Everything seems to be disoriented. My mind is scattered and lost because of constantly filled with this one person that I love. Does this person see it? No, they wanted to move on by moving to the same damn state I am in. I am going insane because of it. I always miss him when he messages me. Yet, why the fuck doesn’t he just call me or some shit? This is why I don’t want to care anymore, why I don’t want to be bugged for anything.

I am not thankful for anything....

I don’t have a family to call my own, no true parents that wooed me. Never had grandparents that would have me over for the holidays. I was a foster kid from day one. It is true I would be able to go into people’s houses and enjoy thanksgiving, but I would never stay for too long. I’d leave the moment I got my chance. After I was 18 years old, I left my foster families behind and went on my own. Of course I wasn’t ready for the real world, but I got away from these holiday products that people enjoy every year. It is torture to me! 

When I lived in WI, I never had to deal with those things. I was pretty much at peace; except, I was still being dragged down by their words every mistake I made. This is why I despise social media, but yet, here I am still on it. In a way, I just want to drop it all and disappear. I see no point of staying on anymore. There are times I just want to go find my old buyer and just drown myself in pills to forget this pain, to stop this mind. The only issue is my friend, she would have to watch me destroy myself more than I did before. She would have to see me be high constantly or ODing. Fear would be on her mind, and I cannot do that to her, not when she is fighting her own demons as well. 

I cannot be thankful for anything...

People say to smile and be thankful for food, health, and a roof over your head. How can you be thankful for something like those, when the person you stay with is an over dramatizing critic that puts so much stress on someone. How can you be thankful for the food when most of it could kill you? How can you be thankful for a health that you barely are able to handle without spending an arm and leg to make sure you’re good health? I see no damn point for being thankful. Yes, I am alive and able to keep going, but one day my body might just say “Nope, it is time to shut down.” It won’t be my decision, it will be my own mind that says it. 

Here I am, struggling with my first break up, and switching between I want him here, to I want to fucking smash his face in. Some would consider me psychotic for it. LOL, so that is why I cannot be thankful. I never was thankful for anything, I doubt I will ever be thankful for anything. Only people I am thankful for as of right now, my best friend and LPS. I would not be here if it wasn’t for them...they mean the world to me. They understand me. Unlike some people, those two are always there for me no matter what.