overview: Kíli’s infatuation with Tauriel jeopardizes his relationship with his partner. During the Battle of the Five Armies, he faces devastating regret as he realizes its too late where his heart truly belongs.
warning: angst?? third-party interference, death
A/N: inaccuracies
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
The forest of Mirkwood loomed around Thorin’s company like a dark omen. You walked beside Kíli, his hand intertwined with yours, feeling the warmth of his presence. Yet, beneath the surface, an unsettling tension brewed. Kíli was captivated by the elves, and it gnawed at your heart like a slow poison.
When the elves appeared, it was as if the vibrant greens of the forest faded, overshadowed by their ethereal beauty. Legolas, tall and regal, commanded with respect, but it was Tauriel who held Kíli’s gaze. You had noticed Kíli's fascination the moment they met, his curiosity did not go noticed. But you hadn’t worried, not at first. After all, you had weathered worse than a fleeting glance, hadn’t you?
Trapped in the cells of the Elvenkings fortress, captured by the elves, you sat beside Fili, the damp stone cold beneath you, exchanging worried glances. The oppressive silence was broken by snippets of conversation from Kíli’s cell, and your breath caught as Tauriel’s melodic voice drifted through the air. You strained to listen as she spoke with Kíli about the rock his mother had given him, a token of comfort he always kept close.
“It reminds me of home,” Kíli said, his voice soft yet filled with an emotion you couldn’t place. “It’s like a piece of her is always with me.”
Your heart dropped at his words. The tenderness in his voice felt like a dagger piercing through your chest. It stung to realize that you had once been the one who brought him comfort, but now it was Tauriel who stood in that place, bright and captivating.
Jealousy and despair swirled within you as Kíli shared memories of his mother, reminiscing with the elf who had captured his attention. You forced yourself to look away, not wanting to hear any more. You had thought the bond you shared was special, that Kíli’s heart was yours, but in that moment, it felt like you were losing him to someone who seemed so much more enchanting.
Fili noticed your distress and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, but it did little to ease the heaviness in your heart.
“He doesn’t see you slipping away,” he murmured, his voice a mix of concern and frustration. “He’s lost in the moment.”
But you couldn’t shake the feeling that Kíli was drifting further away with each passing moment. And when Tauriel spoke again, it confirmed your worst fears—he was captivated by her, and you were merely an afterthought.
Day after day, you caught him looking at her. His laughter was lighter in her presence, his eyes sparking with a fascination you hadn’t seen since before this quest began. It was as though the darkness of the journey lifted when Tauriel was near, and the weight of it crushed you instead.
It wasn’t until Kíli had been injured during a skirmish with orcs, poisoned by an arrow, that everything unraveled. You stayed by his side, holding his hand, but his eyes always seemed to drift elsewhere, waiting for someone else. When Tauriel arrived, glowing with the ethereal light of her magic and saving him, your heart shattered. Kíli murmured something to her, his voice soft and raw as if he was confessing, and you knew, deep in your bones, that whatever had bound him to you was slipping away.
You distanced yourself after that. There were no fights, no declarations—just quiet withdrawal. You told yourself you were being silly, that Kíli was just grateful to Tauriel for saving his life. But it didn’t feel like gratitude; it felt like you were being replaced. When Kíli would ask what was wrong, you’d brush him off with a smile that never reached your eyes.
“Nothing’s wrong,” you’d whisper, turning away before your voice could betray you. But Fili noticed, and so did the others.
One evening, as the company sat around a fire, Fili pulled Kíli aside. “You’re blind, brother. You’re so focused on someone who isn’t yours that you’ve forgotten the one who is.”
Kíli scoffed, defensive. “It’s not like that, Fili. Tauriel… she’s just… different.”
“And what about her?” Fili asked, nodding toward you as you sat alone, away from the others, staring into the flames. “Do you see how you’ve hurt her?”
Kíli’s heart tightened as he followed his brother’s gaze. You were different lately—quieter, more distant—but he hadn’t put the pieces together until now. Guilt gnawed at him, but before he could speak, a call to arms rang out.
The Battle of the Five Armies had begun.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
The chaos of battle was overwhelming. Screams echoed across the battlefield, the clashing of metal, and the roars of orcs filled the air. Kíli fought alongside his kin, but a part of him searched for you, needing to talk to you, to apologize. He had been a fool, blinded by something fleeting and neglecting what was real: you.
But you were nowhere to be found. As time passed, his desperation mounted. His strikes grew wilder, fueled by frantic fear for your safety.
When the battle slowed, he found Fili standing over a body, his face ashen. Kíli’s heart dropped into his stomach as he rushed to his brother’s side.
“No…” Fili whispered, his voice shaking.
Kíli followed his brother’s gaze and saw you. Lying there, your once bright eyes now closed, your skin pale beneath the grime of battle. Blood stained your armor and the fallen snow, a fatal wound that had taken you when he hadn’t been there.
“No… no, no, no!” Kíli dropped to his knees beside you, trembling hands cradling your face. “You can’t be… you can’t…” His voice broke, shattered by grief too powerful to contain.
He had lost you. Not to an orc’s blade, not to the chaos of battle, but because he hadn’t been there when you needed him most. He had failed you long before your body had fallen on this battlefield.
Kíli let out a roar, more pain than rage, as his world collapsed around him. The battle, the quest—none of it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore.
Fili knelt beside him, his own tears falling, but Kíli barely noticed. All he saw was you—your face, once full of life, now still. He pulled you into his arms, rocking back and forth, as if he could somehow bring you back by sheer force of will.
“I’m sorry my dove,” Kíli whispered, his voice breaking. “I should’ve… I should’ve been there. I should’ve never let you go.”
But it was too late. The words he should’ve said, the love he should’ve shown, would never reach you now. He had betrayed you long before Tauriel had entered their lives, and now you were gone.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
As the battle’s final moments played out, Kíli fought with a desperation that had nothing to do with winning. He fought because he had nothing left to lose. Tauriel, who had rushed to help him again, found him amidst the carnage, but he barely acknowledged her presence.
She wasn’t who he wanted. She wasn’t who he needed. He realized, too late, that the only person he had ever truly loved was now beyond his reach.
Kíli fell on the battlefield, not from an enemy's blade but from the weight of his own heartbreak. As he closed his eyes, the last thing he saw was your face, the memory of you smiling at him before everything faded into darkness.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
In the end, it wasn’t an orc that took Kíli’s life. It was regret.
Hiiii! I just discovered your blog and I LOVE ITTT and can I request either Thorins company or just Fíli x reader where reader is the one to kill Azog and then almost dies and loses consiousness for a while??
LMAO why does that sound like such a pick me scenario now that I actually typed it out😭😭 well anyway, I hope youre doing well :)))
Thank you for the request! Sorry it took so long but between my Internship, actual school work, and my job I don't have much time to write. I hope this is what you wanted because I enjoyed writing it!
Fili x Reader
WC: 1.8k
Warnings: Violence and battle, almost dying, follows the request pretty closely
There was too much going on around you for any one thing to stick in your mind. The past hours, days, weeks hell even months were a blur of exciting moments to exciting moments where you escaped certain death more times than you could count on your fingers. It was overwhelming to sit and think about, so you didn’t.
You didn’t have time to think, you had to fight. You had to fight the elves who threatened your kingdom’s door, you had to fight the men who aided the Elves and then suddenly you had to fight the monstrous creatures who burst through the very earth in front of you.
If anyone were to ask why you fight, the answer you’d give them would be ‘for my kingdom’, there is a duty and honor in fighting for your king and the mountain he is destined to rule. But that answer wouldn’t be entirely true, sure you fought for the king, but not because he was the king. You fought for Thorin because fighting for Thorin was fighting for Fili, the heir and the dwarf who stole your heart.
You aided the throne, and it helped that the dwarves who sat upon it were like family. You would die for the line of Durin, you’d kill for them.
So when you saw those idiot men, full charge on the back of a ram up to Ravenhill and directly into danger you pushed yourself harder than you ever had to get to them in time. You ran up the incline, slashing at any foe in your way. Your mind clear of all except your goal, to get to him, to protect him, to hold him in your arms.
The number of enemies thins out as you reach the top, only a few orcs stay near to the tower and they are taken out easily. You push yourself harder.
Finally, with shaking hands and cuts on your fingers from the jagged rocky edge, you rise above the summit and haul yourself into a standing position, quickly spinning and taking stock of what awaited you.
Thorin, Dwalin, Kili, and Fili are standing in a huddle near the center of the ice. Thorin gives commands and the others nod before splitting off.
Splitting off?! What kind of daft idea is that? You shake your head and scoff under your breath before once again launching into a run to meet up with your beloved and his brother.
Quietly you slip into the stone structure behind them following the princes as they make their way up the semi-exposed stairway.
You only speak up when Fili utters his ridiculous plan about splitting up even further, you tell him as such.
“That is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard you say out loud, amralime.” Both princes make their best impressions of spinning tops and snap their gaze to your slightly amused one. “Three is better than one in all scenarios, we shall go together and give ourselves a fighting chance.” Your tone left no room for discussion and you motioned for the boys to continue onwards.
The princes in all their chivalry sandwiched you, Fili in front of you, and Kili behind, all three of your heads were on a swivel. It wasn’t until you almost reached the top that you motioned for your little party to stop and listen.
You didn’t understand black speech but you knew what it sounded like, and though it was soft you could hear a conversation occurring on the other side of the wall you were hiding behind.
You shift slightly, going to whisper the plan to your companions but before you can the brothers have managed to have what you can only assume was an idiotic silent conversation sealed with a singular nod at each other.
Because one moment, they are crouched behind the wall with you, and the next they are letting out a battle cry and rushing over the wall and directly into unknown danger. You’d take the time to roll your eyes and bang your head against the rock if you had the time. However, you need to jump into action, so you do.
Launching yourself over the wall only moments after the brothers, your eyes lock onto their fight immediately. Four or five orcs, all armored and armed to the tooth tower over the dwarf princes and slash at them from all angles.
You run through the empty space whenever you see it slashing the sides that the orcs leave open and decapitating them whenever given the chance. Together you take down three before you hear a shout from Kili and the movement around you freezes.
You also freeze when your eyes land on the sight of your lover and future husband in the grasp of Azog the Defilier. He dangles Fili over the edge and speaks loudly down to whoever is standing below.
You do not hesitate before acting, taking too long lunges and readying your sword you launch yourself at the back of the pale orc, fully sheathing your sword into the space where his heart should be and pushing both of you off the side of the wall face.
If you had given this plan any thought at all you would’ve deemed it as idiotic as the plans the men had made, but all you saw in that moment was the life of the dwarf you loved, in danger. You acted swiftly and without thought and it could very well cost you your own life.
You watch as Azog’s grip on Fili loosens and the dwarf is released from his grasp, falling oolong side you and into the snow piled at the bottom of the wall. A fall that will surely bruise him but he would survive and that is all that matters.
Nobody tells you how it feels to fall to your death, it must only take seconds, and yet it feels like a lifetime. An entire lifetime rushing past you, the wind blowing through your hair, and the view blurring out of focus. Eventually, like all things that fall you reach the ground.
You are not fortunate like Fili to land in a snowbank, instead, you land atop the body of an Orc, your head crashing against the ice as you try to roll off of him.
The orc is unmoving next to you as you stare into the sky above you, your breathing is labored and your vision is growing dim.
Is this what it feels like to die?
You see Fili’s concerned face hover above your own before everything goes dark, you think you smile but you can’t be too sure.
Your vision is restored all at once, and the first thing you clock is that the view is different. Where you last looked upon the bright sky, with your lover’s face gazing down on you, now you only see dark stone and wooden beams, caressed by the flickering light that indicated a fire nearby.
You hear the cracking of wood and nothing else. You take a moment to do a mental scan of your body. There is a slight pain in all of your limbs and you’re reminded of a knife wound you took to the thigh. The most prominent is the dull but persistent ache radiating from the back of your head.
You try to sit up to get a clearer picture of what is happening, moving makes the pain worse but it is still not the worst you have felt so you push on. Groaning under your breath you make yourself stand.
You get a better look at your surroundings, the room your in is decidedly dwarvish, the intricate carvings in the wall, and the build of the fireplace enough to give that away. You were in a room inside the mountain, presumably, one in the furthest reach of the east wings, where the dragon damage was less severe.
While you stand and gaze around the space you find yourself in, the door to the room opens slowly, and in walks a blond dwarf with a braid matching your own. He carries a tray of food in his arms and doesn’t look up immediately.
When he does he freezes, looking your body up and down and up once more. He blinks twice and a smile with the brightness of the Arkenstone itself radiates from his face. The tray is cast aside onto the table in the center of the room and he takes quick strides to get to you.
He wastes no time pulling you into his arms and burying his face in your hair.
“You are awake.” He mutters into your locks.
“I think so.” You reply.
“You have been asleep for a week, I carried you down from Ravenhill myself. You were looked at by both Oin and an elvish healer. It was terrifying.”
“More terrifying than fighting a dragon?” You try to tease. It doesn’t land.
“Yes.” Is his serious reply. “You did not hear the sound of your head hitting the ice, nor did you feel the panic I felt when you wouldn’t open your eyes again.” His words are fierce and full of fire, contrasting with the almost delicate hold he has on your body.
“I am sorry.” You whisper. “I did not think, I just saw you in danger and the rest was instinct.”
“I understand, but I am still not happy.” Fili pulls back slightly and looks into your eyes as he speaks.
You match his gaze, “I can live with that.” You place a singular delicate kiss on his lips, smiling at the feel of his mustache braids on your face. The coolness of the beads makes you feel alive. And you are glad for it.
“Thorin wishes to see you. I promised I would tell him when you woke.”
“Why does he want to see me?” You ask.
“Maybe because you saved his heir and killed the orc that had been hunting us for nearly half a year?” Fili cocks his head to the side and smirks at you.
“It is bad to say that I wish to spend a little more time with you before being unleashed into the grasp of the rest of the Company?”
“Only if it is also bad that I wish the same thing,” is his easy reply. “How about we just eat for now and then we can decide what to do next after that, hmm?” His voice is soothing and his idea favorable. You nod and he smiles again.
So you two spend the rest of that evening together, talking, eating and hodling onto one another.
Both of you are sure that this is not the last battle you will face together, but this one ended well and you will cherish the moments of peace in each others company.
One says Fili is a splitting image of his father, the same eyes, same hair, same smile and gentle features, and everyone tells him how much he looks like his father and Fili nods along and thanks them for their words only to run and lock himself away for hours just staring at his reflection because it’s been so many years that he can’t remember his fathers face.
The other says Fili is a splitting image of his long lost uncle, always the odd one out of the Durin family line with his light colouration and softer features until he wonders the empty halls of Erebor and discovers a torn and scorched portrait of his mother, and two uncles, and finally seeing Frerin and seeing himself reflected in him, and having something inside him snap into place and finally feeling like he belongs.
Summary: When a mysterious person threatens the heir's life, the service of a personal guard is required to keep him safe until the foe is found. Fíli, who doesn't take the matter very seriously, only sees it as an chance to spend more time with certain knight.
A/N: am I deliberately ignoring the canonical end of The Hobbit? Maybe so. PSA my phone died and i just got a new one; I'm still getting used to typing with it, that's why I haven't updated in more than a week. It's also why you'll probably find typos here, but I hope you enjoy this nonetheless <3.
Part II
Rogue-durin-16 masterlist
I sighed at the music that echoed through the pillared halls of Erebor and managed to sneak into my room. Staying isolated while the whole kingdom was partying made my immature side, the one who would run down to the celebration in the blink of an eye, come to the surface, burying my common sense in its way.
"Must I tie you down to the lamppost?" Luckily, I had the most efficient keeper in the entire Royal Guard to remind me what I could and couldn't do.
"Would it kill you to relax?" I teased, though I had gotten her memo and was already moving away from my door.
"Probably." She replied, sparing me a quick glance with raised eyebrows. "Likely, it would kill you too." I rolled my eyes at her. "That's rather the point."
As a new idea crossed my mind, a smile flashed across my face "I'll risk it." I said, moving to stand in front of her, and held out a hand. "Dance with me?"
"No?" her tone expressed perfectly her incredulity at my words.
"Y/n I'm so bored, please, indulge me." her eyes opened widely, throwing daggers at me as I removed her sword and started to tug her towards me. "No one will attempt to kill me here."
"We don't know that." she retorted, though she didn't stop me from placing one hand on her waist and the other up in the air holding hers.
"Yes we do." I hummed, starting to sway at the rhythm of the music, quieted down due to the distance between us and the great halls. "We're in my chambers."
"will you remind me why aren't you at the party?" she inquired intently.
"Because of Thorin's paranoia?" I feigned innocence as I pretended to doubt the answer.
"Wrong." I pouted and she shook her head. "Someone sent you a death threat." I huffed, pulling away from her to spin her around. "You should take it seriously." I dramatically groaned, pulling her back to me. "Fíli." I couldn't help but grin.
It took me quite a while —almost a year— to convince her to call me by my name and not by my title.
"There is nothing to worry about," I stated, earning a tired sigh from her. We had been having that same back and forth for a week —it had started as soon as she had been assigned that task, in which I might have had a hand. "Because you are here to protect me."
"Something I can't quite do if I'm dancing."
"I said I'll risk it" i repeated with raised eyebrows.
It was then that she finally started to relax in my arms, not before letting out a sigh of defeat accompanied by an eyeroll though. Her beautiful eyes drifted off me to get lost somewhere at my left; took that opportunity to let my poor façade down and stared at her mesmerized as if she was the Arkenstone.
It's not as if I didn't make it quite obvious that I fancied her —actually, that was an understatement— but often my feelings were accompanied by a joking tone to spare my heart from Y/n's genuine reply.
A strong knock made us jump away from each other and rush to get our respective weapons. "Fíli?" My shoulders relaxed when Nori's voice reached us, but just as I stepped to open the door, Y/n tugged my arm to stand behind her. "Calm down, will you?" The dwarf requested, offended at Y/n's hostility whilst letting him pass.
"I tried telling her, but she won't listen." Y/n huffed and I winked at her. "What is it?"
"Thorin wants to move you to another room until this is sorted out." My eyes widened at his words. Now the whole matter was starting to look like a tempest in a teacup. "Dwalin offered to exchange chambers with you."
"You're all exaggerating." Y/n joined Nori in his task of picking up the necessary. "This is ridiculous!" Both of them were now running around the room, completely ignoring me. "I can defend myself!" Y/n, now at the doorframe, motioned me to follow her out of the room. "I refuse to leave my room just because a coward sent—"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Force wasn't necessary." I grumbled, throwing myself over my back to the king sized bed. It wasn't as comfortable as mine.
"In fact," she gave me an intent look, taking off her light armor and mesh, and throwing them over a stone bench. "it was."
I propped myself up with my forearms, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I stared at Y/n. "What are you doing?"
"Getting ready to sleep?" She replied, leaving her sword as close to her as possible, in case she had to reach for it.
"In that chair?"
"Yes?" Now she was the one who frowned confused. "Where else?" With eyebrows raised, I motioned at the large, empty space on the bed. "No?"
"There's enough room left for you and your sword." She snorted as if I was joking —which I partially was but not entirely. "We're both grownups are we not?" Her eyes pierced through me giving me that look. "It wouldn't be the first time that we sleep together anyway."
"We are not to repeat that." She stated.
"Y/n? Y/n." I kicked her leg through my blanket and hers, making her gasp and consecutively turn to meet me with an annoyed gaze. "Don't give me that look."
"You just kicked me." She hissed in the same quiet tone I was speaking.
"Because you're shivering."
She completely spun around so now we were face to face. "That's not a valid reason to kick me."
"I was trying to get your attention." Before she could complain again, I rushed the words out of my mouth. "Sleep with me." She slightly scooted away, surely taken aback by my suggestion. "I'm freezing too." I added, which wasn't a lie, just an exaggeration.
Before I knew it, we were laying together with both blankets over us, our legs interlaced, and our faces way too close.
"this is the most uncomfortable position we could have chosen, is it not?" I laughed, refusing to let my cheeks redden.
She laughed too, in the same way I had. "Any suggestions?"
"maybe..." I started guiding her, searching for another posture. "Maybe... Like this? or-"
I was cut off by her quiet laughter, now genuine and contagious, as she had ended up with her torso over mine. "I don't think this is better." She caged me so she could prop herself and move; and she propped herself, but didn't move.
The muffled chuckles had died the moment our gazes met. Both of us parted our lips in an attempt to say something, but none spoke.
With our eyes locked, my hands carefully traveled up her thighs whilst one of hers hesitantly caressed my cheek.
As if we had silently agreed on it, we both leaned into each other and let our lips share a ghostlike kiss that left me yearning for more. It was the reason why I unconsciously lifted myself, trying to capture Y/n's lips when she pulled away.
I snapped out of it when my forehead met hers and her hands rested on my chest. It was the strangest sensation; seeing the regret in her orbs at the same time as I felt her body refraining itself from returning to me.
"... would it be so bad?"
Y/n opened her mouth like a fish out of water. "It would be worse. I thought I made clear that this" she finally spoke, motioning between me and her "cannot happen."
"Well, this time we're not sleeping in the woods." I reasoned, deliberately ignoring the pang in my chest. "So there is no reason for it to happen again. Now" I patted the matress. "Sleep with me."
After a moment of meditation, she gave in and lay down, throwing the soft furs over her.
Silence.
"This is uncomfortable." She spoke, both of our bodies stiff and our eyes on the ceiling.
"It is."
Silence.
"Okay, take the bed." I finally said, attempting to get off it and move to the chair, just to be tugged back by her hands.
"Don't you dare." Before I could argue, she scooted closer and I had to force myself to relax when she laid her head on my chest because I could make it even more uncomfortable if I didn't do so. "No kissing this time." She teased.
"Yes ma'am." I replied with a chuckle, wrapping my arms around her.
It didn't take long for either of us to fall asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
READER'S P. O. V.
I woke up to Fíli and Kíli's hushed voices, and I instantly jolted up, entering a kind of alert mode that only the two brothers were able to get me into.
"What are you doing?" Kíli's eyes went from his brother to me, and back to his brother. "What is it?" Instead of giving me a reply, the younger prince nodded at the blond one and exited the room. "What on Durin's beard was that?" I inquired, suspicious.
"I was telling him where I was going." Replied, sheathing his blade.
"You are not going anywhere."
"I am going out."
"No you're not." I commanded, already dreading it would be in vain.
"To Dale." He was speaking so casually, as if he wasn't about to disobey direct orders from our king and to get me in trouble in the process.
"Fíli."
"I need fresh air!" His voice became slightly louder in desperation.
"Go to the damn balcony!" I replied, mirroring his tone as I threw the furs off me.
"I'm going out."
"Well, I'm staying here." I firmly stated, not willing to give in just yet.
"Then I'm going out alone." And with that, he left. "Until this afternoon!"
"What even-" after going through a moment of shock, I got up and put on my boots, only being able to grab my sword and belt before rushing out of the room.
"Oh so you are coming?" He teased, literally strutting along the hallway, not bothering on slowing down the pace for me to be able to buckle my belt and sword around my waist without struggling.
"You're impossible." I yanked his arm to stop his walking.
With my attention on the belt I didn't notice how close he had gotten, so when his hands appeared in front of my eyes, pulling away mine, I had to stop myself from gasping. "You have always loved challenges." He pointed out, taking care of securing the belt around me.
"Not when I have to keep the challenge safe." He pulled at the leather clothing to make sure it was okay, and then held my hand to prompt me to resume the walk. "I don't even have my armor on."
"You won't need it." He assured me, not allowing me to go back before sneaking us out of the mountain.
Warnings: Dark thoughts, suicidal thoughts, breakdowns, graphic depictions of gore, angst, PTSD, fluff.
Word count: N/A
Pairings: Fili x Dunedain/human reader
Note: if you’re sensitive to the warnings above, don’t read!
Summary: You’ve been picked to be the 14th member of The Company. Since your age was closest to The Durin Brothers, you’ve been spending most of your time with them. Especially Fili, who you immediately clicked with from the start.
One night, something triggers you, causing you to breakdown.
Fili finds you and comforts you, spending the rest of the night beside you.
Blood.
Ash.
Fire.
Smoke.
It’s all that filled your senses.
Children’s endless screaming for their mother.
Your screams were among them. You would have thought that you’d lose your voice after all your ear-piercing shrieks. No, just your mind.
At the young age of sixteen, the small town you & your family resided in was raided
by Orcs. Though it was tragic, it was very common, as it happened to you again, barely a year after.
While you got caught in your thoughts, distant screeches snapped you back to reality. It didn’t take long to realize it was Orcs. Possibly even a raid.
Thorin instantly shot up, searching for the source of the noise, while Bilbo emerged from his hiding spot behind his pony, clearly concerned.
“Um, what was that?”
“Orcs.”
“What?”
“Throatcutters,” Fili said all too casually. “There’ll be dozens of them out there.”
“They strike in the wee, small hours when everyone’s asleep. Quick and quiet. No screams. Just lots of blood.”
With that, you winced as the memories kept replaying in your head.
The images of dark, nearly black, gooey blood splat all across the floor. The disfigured faces of the Orcs, laughing as they went about on their killing spree.
Over and over.
You didn’t even realize your breathing got heavier until Fili pointed it out.
“Y/N, are you all right--?” He hesitantly asked, hoping you wouldn’t snap.
You’ve failed to mention that you’d often have mood swings, sometimes even scaring Thorin which was rare. But The Company was understanding, as one time, you’ve shared a small detail about what you’ve gone through. They easily pieced it together and figured your capricious personality was linked with your scarring encounters.
Deciding you didn’t want to completely break down in front of the whole Company, you stormed off into a farther area.
As soon as you were fairly distanced, you dropped down onto the cold, dirt ground and started to sob.
Your chest felt tighter by the second, your head was throbbing, and your eyes stung from the hot & salty tears that streamed down your cheeks.
You didn’t, and you couldn’t stop them. You had no control over your body or mind, anymore. You felt so helpless. Enslaved to the past.
“Y/N!” You recognized that voice from anywhere.
When you didn’t respond, Fili called your name again, trying to find you through the gloomy fog. He eventually found you propped up against a tree, sobbing into your shoulders. He fell beside you, reaching out to pull you to him, but as soon as his skin came in contact with yours, you let out a short whimper and backed away, startled by the touch. Despite you being afraid, he was persistent. You flinched, thinking he was going to hurt you. Instead, he pulled your body to his, holding you in a tight embrace.
You cried into his chest for what felt like forever, yet he never left you.
“Please, kill me,” you begged. He was taken back at the words.
“Y/N..” he trailed off, not knowing exactly how to respond.
“Fili, I’m telling you, just end me right here and now,” you continued to bawl. “I can’t take it anymore.”
He held you even tighter, rubbing his hands up and down your back comfortingly.
“Hey, hey,” he attempted to calm you down. “Deep breaths, okay? Don’t think like that. For me.”
Tears still prickled in your eyes, but you were finally in a more sensible state.
You realized what had just happened.
“Oh, gods. Fili, I’m so sorry,” you panicked. “I didn’t know what I was saying! I-”
He quickly shushed you, keeping you from rambling any further.
“Y/N, it’s all right. Just calm down and catch your breath.”
You did as he said, slowly regaining your composure.
“Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head.
“I just want to sleep..”
He sucked in a deep breath, “Is there anything I can do?”
Hesitantly, you spoke. “C-Can you just hold me tonight?”
Grasping what you’d said, your cheeks flushed.
“I mean, if it’s not too much to ask. I-I can manag-”
He let out a small, short chuckle.
His pale cheeks went red as well.
“Of course, Y/N. Come on,” he said, picking you up bridal style before you could protest. You, Kili, & Fili would play around. They treated you like a child and picked you up a lot (considering you were nearly their height) to prove their point, which resulted in them being kicked and pushed over.
This time you didn’t struggle, as Fili held you warmly against him. You found comfort and feelings you’ve never felt before just by being near him.
He carried you back to camp, where everybody but Kili, Gandalf & Balin were awake.
Kili was about to make a snarky remark, but Fili put a finger over his lips and sent Kili a certain look as if to tell him to hold it back this time.
Carefully, Fili laid you down on your bedroll.
“Wait here,” he said, before going back to fetch his own. He came back and laid his bedroll beside yours, joining you to sleep.
Your back was pressed against his chest, while his arms were wrapped around you securely.
You felt yourself drift to sleep. Before you completely dozed off, you whispered to Fili, “Thank you for doing this.”
“Sleep, amralime, (my love)”
The last thing he did was kiss the top of your head before you passed out.
A/N: HAPPY FILI FRIDAY HAVE SOME FLUFF. Hope you guys enjoy, I really enjoyed writing this one! This is totally from a day dream that got me through an awful bug last week. But we all need some comfort from our best boy when we’re sick, right?
Summary: (Y/N) gets mysteriously sick at a celebration and Fili refuses to leave her side.
Gulmalûm: Tiny Sparkle
She was the brightest light in a hall full of chandeliers and gems. That’s how Fili saw her anyway, and he’d stick his favorite knife in the gut of anyone who said any different. But he wasn’t thinking about anyone else’s gut as his own flipped with proud butterflies while he watched (Y/N) dance with his brother. Well, (Y/N) was dancing, Kili was just skipping around and twirling her under his arms with a wide grin and messy hair.
Fili felt his own foolish smile spread across his cheeks as he watched her. Next to Kili’s awkward flipping, she was the epitome of grace as she spun and left her skirts to trail around her legs in wave after wave of soft fabric. He couldn’t hear her laugh over the music and the boisterous chatter of the other dancers, but he could imagine the sound as she tilted her head back and closed her eyes when Kili told her another one of his jokes. It was special, unique to her, and the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. (Y/N) seemed to be having the time of her life.
And then she wasn’t.
Quicker than a beat of the drum, she was falling into Kili’s arms, unconscious. Her hands fell limp and her head lolled and Fili flew through the crowd of dwarfs, scooping her into his arms and interrogating Kili.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know! She-she said she wasn’t feeling well and I was bringing her to the table and then she just collapsed.”
“She’ll be all right,” Fili said, more to the one in his arms than anyone else. He whisked her out of the hall, listening to his brother call to the high table for Oin. Fili left the others in a crowd of questions and panic, rushing to Oin’s chambers and laying her on the extra bed the medic kept for his patients in a small room of his bedchambers.
Fili’s stomach flipped when he saw her lying alone on the bed. Being a human, she was taller than all of them, her limbs longer, her heart bigger. Now, she looked so small. He brushed a stray lock of hair from her forehead and felt her sweat-damp skin. Terror started to fill him from his chest out. When Oin finally caught up with them, Fili held his shaking hands behind his back.
“What’s wrong with her?” Fili asked.
“Will she be all right?” Kili asked, swinging into the room by a hand on the door frame. “She was fine and then she-she said she wasn’t feeling well-”
“Out,” Oin said.
“What?” Kili asked.
“Leave.” Oin said, opening a tall cabinet revealing vials and jars of different powders and plants. He reached for one, studied the small label he’d made and put it back in exchange for another one. “I need room to treat her. I don’t need more questions. I will find you if there’s change.”
Kili gave one last look to his friend on the white bed, glanced to his brother and nodded before he left the small room.
Oin waddled around the bed, shoving the staring Fili out of the way as he passed and waved the open jar under his patient’s nose. “You too. Out. I will find you if there’s a change.”
“Me? I’m not leaving. I’ll stay out of the way-”
“Fili, come.” Thorin was one of the dwarfs rushing through the corridors after (Y/N) and had been standing in the doorway watching the scene. After Fili sent him a look, he said, “Let Oin do his work.”
Fili’s feet took on roots. “How can you ask me to leave her? I won’t. I won’t have her wake up without-without me here.” He grabbed her cold hand and quickly marveled at how she stole the heat from his skin.
“You can’t help her now,” Thorin said.
Though Fili was used to his uncle’s harsh voice, his words made him bristle. His glare softened as he turned to (Y/N) and ran the back of his fingers down a pale cheek with a silent promise to return. The sneer that he gave his uncle, however, would have made any orc cower. As he stomped past his uncle he said, “If anything happens to her and I’m not here-”
“Nothing will happen.”
“You should hope.”
Fili remained outside Oin’s door for hours that felt like decades. He was alone except for Kili who would risk his brother’s wrath instead of leaving him distraught and pacing the corridors by himself. It was widely known that all in the royal family had wicked tempers, but Fili’s was different. No explosions or harsh, quick words unmeant, just simmering, terrifying rage that would make up for his usual cool head. The elder brother didn’t often raise his voice to others but Kili had never seen him as angry as he was with Thorin today. He wondered of the consequences that would come of it but didn’t dare to bring it up while (Y/N) was still in danger. The human’s special place in Fili’s heart was a secret the brother’s kept, but after his outburst today, the secret was most likely out.
Kili sat on the floor, watching Fili lean a hand on the cool stone wall of the corridor. “She’ll be all right. Oin knows what he’s doing.”
Fili only hummed. A hand ran over his face.
The door beside them opened, revealing Oin where the wood once stood locked and unmoving. “You may see her now, but you must remain-”
Fili rushed past him, the wind of his speed sending his hair whipping over a strong shoulder. He quickly disappeared into the alcove.
“Calm,” Oin finished for Kili’s sake with a sigh.
Fili froze in the doorway. He winced when he saw her. Even from where he stood, he could hear her labored breathing and see her bare toes coiling in agony. She was curled into a little ball, her fists hiding the half of her face that wasn’t pushed into the pillow. He said her name with a quiet breath and she unrolled her fingers to wave at him blindly.
“How are you doing?” he asked, stepping toward her.
“She is not feeling her best and won’t be for some time to come,” Oin said from behind him. Kili’s grimace matched his brother’s as he took in (Y/N)’s state. Before he could say anything, she spoke.
“I feel like a goblin who ate too many snails and hasn’t seen the sun in a century.”
“You’re much prettier than a sun-deprived goblin,” Fili said, taking a gentle hold of her calf and running his thumb back and forth.
One eye opened to peer than him and then closed. “Liar.”
He smiled for the first time since the celebration and stepped closer to her but she pushed him away.
“Stay away. I’ll throw up on you.”
Kili made a soft sound of disgust and slinked toward the door but Fili just laughed. “Nonsense,” he said, sitting on the small bed and kicking up his feet. Despite her earlier protests and warning, (Y/N) took to him instantly. She remained in her tight ball, but laid her head on his chest and took his tunic into her fist.
“Don’t blame me when this happens to you.”
“(Y/N), you’re not contagious. There’s no need to fret about Fili,” Oin said, hands around his belt.
“What’s ailing her, then?” Fili asked.
“The human body is infinitely different from a dwarf’s. It does not react well with some environments and foods we ourselves are used to, specifically the wild mushrooms from the south. Had I known this, I would have warned her and spared her this pain she will be in for some time, but alas, I did not.”
She whined, tugging her knees closer to her body at this news. Fili felt his heart breaking and he ran his fingers through the locks at her temple, peeling the curls off her damp skin.
“Wait one second,” Kili said from the doorway. “You’re telling me, after fighting orcs, goblins, trolls, wargs, and everything else we came across on our journey here, a mushroom is what’s gonna take her down?”
(Y/N) breathed out a laugh against Fili’s tunic, sending the fabric waving against his skin and a shiver up his spine. Kili was the one who could always make her laugh.
“(Y/N) will be just fine when it subsides. Nothing will be taking her down any time soon. But she should be left to rest.” Fili gave him a wild look and Oin waved him off. “You may stay. We will leave.”
Kili winked at his brother and lifted (Y/N)’s gown from the chair it was strewn across. “I’ll take this back to her chambers and bring her some of her own clothes,” he said, noticing the gaping tunic and short trousers Oin had dressed her in. He smirked. A human in dwarf clothing was an entertaining sight and he’d tease (Y/N) about it when she was feeling better.
Fili rolled his eyes, reading Kili’s mind, but his attention was pulled back to (Y/N) when she shifted against him and started to tremble. His gaze roamed over her- eyes still shut tight, skin still damp and hot, breath still arduous, but steady. He called to Oin before the medic could leave. “She’s shivering, but her skin is hot. Is she-what’s happening?”
Oin nodded. “It’s normal. I can promise she’s through the worst of it and I can leave her in your capable hands. There will be a guard outside the door to send if you need anything. I’m going to tell your uncle the news.”
Fili nodded, watching Oin unfold a large blanket and lay it over (Y/N)’s quivering form. “When you see Uncle, will you tell him… I’ll go and see him in the morning, but will you tell him…”
“I will.” He gave a low nod and left.
When he heard the door to the chambers close, Fili again looked to one attached to his side. If he hadn’t known better, he’d be terrified by her pale cheeks and clenched jaw. Oin’s words echoed in his mind. She’ll be just fine. She’s through the worst of it. Nothing will be taking her down anytime soon.
Her writhing brought him back. She tangled one of her legs in his to shift closer to him while still keeping her balled up stance. “It hurts, Fi.”
His stomach sunk. He knew it took a lot for her to complain. Earlier in the year, she had taken an arrow to the shoulder and though a few tears ran down her face, she never whined of the pain. “I know, gulmalûm. I wish I could take it away.” He pulled her sticky hair from her neck, and set his cool fingers on her burning skin, watching her brow slowly relax. “Have I ever told you the story about Ki getting stuck in a tree with nothing but his boots on?”
A smile spread over her face, but her eyes never opened. “No.”
His fingers moved to her back, running his blunt nails up and down. His lips twitched when she leaned into his touch. “We were very young, both in our thirties, if I remember correctly. I had convinced a very sweet lass, Mevine, her name was, to take a stroll with me after she supped with her family. I walked out to her home, her father gave me a speech about being respectful to his daughter-”
“As if you’d be anything but.”
He hummed. “And we went off into the wood for a stroll while the sun set. I promised to have her back by dark.” He ran a finger over the curve of (Y/N)’s jaw, from ear to chin. “Try to relax. You don’t want a headache added to your pain.”
She sighed. “What happened next? Was Kili following you?”
“Of course he was. All the way from the mountain and into the woods. He wanted to see what would happen with me and this lass.” Her laugh whistled softly in his ears. “And I’ll have you know, nothing did happen. Only a kiss on the cheek.”
“Somehow I don’t believe you.”
“I’m offended, (Y/N), really.” He adjusted the blanket on her shoulder. “Now, Kili had chosen an awful hiding place. There are bushes in the south forest with burrs that catch your clothing and don’t let go while they scratch and cut the skin. They’re just awful. So of course, he was hiding in there. And I yell, “Who goes there! Come out and show yourself!”
“Mevine’s knight in shining armor.”
“Yes,” he laughed. “And Kili is so desperate to keep his secret and stay hidden that when he tries to get out of the bush and can’t, he just slips out of his clothes and flies up the nearest tree where we can’t see him.”
“You’re joking!”
“It’s the truth!” Fingers slid from her temple to her ear, gathering her hair down her neck. Her eyes were open now, but her legs were still curled to her chest and her hands held in fists. His distraction was a half success.
“Did you find him in the tree, then?” she asked.
“Kili is a talented tree-climber, but he’s not the brightest one. He stood on a branch that couldn’t take his weight and it snapped off, leaving him hanging and dangling, if you know what I mean-”
“Fili!”
“It’s what happened! The next branch was too low for him to reach and he was too scared to jump, so I had to climb up and help him down.”
“Did you at least bring his trousers up with you?”
“No! He had to learn a lesson about eavesdropping.”
“I bet Mevine was scarred for life.”
“You’d be correct.”
She breathed out a laugh, but it was followed by a hiss and wince of pain. She wriggled against him and he slid down into the bed, allowing her to lay more fully on his chest.
“You should try to rest now. I’m sure if you sleep, you’ll feel better when you wake.”
“Easier said than done, Fi. But you know what would help,” she said, peeking up at him.
His chest deflated. “I can’t exactly say no to you when you’re in agony.”
“No, you can’t.” He could hear the smile in her voice.
Fili’s soothing singing voice was only known by a select few. He refused to sing in front of groups, or at dinner or balls. He hated the attention and the pressure, though he did enjoy singing to himself and often to his brother. Once on the quest she’d caught him humming to himself as he washed his tunic in the stream and that was it. She’d often beg him to sing her favorite song when they were star gazing with Kili, or sharing stories by a fire. It’s where his nickname for her came from.
“Please, Fi,” she whispered.
A hand rested on her shoulder and a thumb wave back and forth as his soft voice grumbled from his chest and drifted past his lips in sweet song. He felt her sigh and relax in his hold and let his swimming melody grow. Spoken Khuzdul could be harsh to foreign ears, but when it was sung, the ragged corners of the consonants were rounded and smoothed by the voice. He let her fall into it, thinking of the day he taught her the common tongue translation and remembering the grin she gave him.
My gem- a tiny sparkle in the night.
My gem- my heart, my soul, and my light.
Take hold of my life,
I give you my love,
With hope that you might
Think of me in darkness tonight.
To her, it was just a lullaby. To him, a confession.
He sang it twice before he felt her hands relax and her breathing even out and slow. He rose to his elbows, ready to slide out from under her and let her get some rest alone, but she clung to him in her sleep, straightening out so he could see her tranquil face. Breath flew into his lungs when she rolled over him and draped her arm over his belly. He stared at her features as his grip involuntarily tightened around her. He shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as he was. His brain was gnawing at him, telling him she was only sick and clinging to someone who made her feel safe, but his heart was soaring. He was the one who made her feel safe. Sure, Kili could make her laugh until she rolled, Thorin was her hero in battle, Bombur could make her groan with a single taste of his stew, but Fili was one who made her feel safe.
He reveled in the weight of her in his arms, her soft grip on his side, and memorized the structure of her soft face until she hid in the crook of his neck. Only then did he close his own eyes and drift off.
It was the clank of the door latch that woke (Y/N). Her grip on Fili tightened momentarily before she lifted her head.
“Kili just left. He brought your clothes,” Fili said.
She flipped on her back and stretched. “Thank God. These trousers are much too short for me.”
It was hard work, ignoring her tired, low voice. He’d risen to his elbow to see she’d gained some of her color back and was no longer sweating with her fever. “How are you feeling?” he asked from above.
“Better.” She flung her forearm over her eyes, but peeked at him underneath with a smile. “But I’m never eating your food again.”
Fili laughed and moved to slide off the bed. “Well, I will leave you to rest-”
“No.” She took hold of his waist, but dropped her hand just as quickly. “I mean, y-you don’t have to go.”
“I’ll stay, gulmalûm.” Though he tried, his half smile took its place on his lips as he settled back down into the bed. She turned to him and laid a hand on the center of his chest as she leaned over him. His eyes widened a bit, waiting for her to stop biting her lip and say what she clearly wanted to.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done today. For me. Oin told me how worried you were and how you waited outside for news.”
“Kili was there as well. W-we were all worried about you.”
“You were the one who carried me through the corridors. And refused to leave me alone in here? Is that true or was Oin exaggerating?”
He opened his mouth to speak and closed it with a snap. He moved to sit up, but she pushed him down. “Thank you, gal-galumn- How do you say it?”
He chuckled. “Gulmalûm.”
“Gulmalûm.”
He watched her lips grow round as she finished the word and he couldn’t help but kiss them. When she drew away, the concerned look on her face was quickly replaced with joy as he rolled her on her back and attacked her with sweet, warm kisses. They were a tangled mess of giggles and happy hums when a cough pulled Fili’s lips away. He turned to see Thorin in the doorway.
“I wanted to check on our patient, but all seems to be well,” Thorin said. Behind him Kili shot his brother a thumbs up that sent (Y/N) into a fit of flushing.
“Uncle. I was just, uh, checking to see if-if she was-”
“(Y/N), I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Thorin said. “We were very concerned and I’m relieved you’re all right.” Then he turned to Fili. “Let her get some rest, hm?” He turned and left, but a smirk was just visible on his face. He soon returned and dragged Kili away with him.
When the doors closed, Fili laughed harder than he had in a long time.
“This is more embarrassing than your Kili up at tree story!” (Y/N) cried, holding her face in her hands.
Fili kissed her forehead. “Indeed, but I like this story much better.” He leaned her back to lie on the bed, knitting his lips to hers one last time before pulling the blanket over them both. “Rest now, gulmalûm. There will be time for more humiliation when we see Uncle tomorrow.” He laughed at her groan and tucked her into his side, humming the melody to her favorite song.
this is my first fic on here :) thanks so so much to @legolaslovely who inspired me and helped me along my journey in writing.
Pairing: Fili Durin x reader
Word Count: 1611
Everyone Lives AU!
Warnings: i’ve accepted that this is trash but it is my trash
Disclaimer: i do not own any of these characters, they belong to Tolkein! also credit to the gif maker! i didn’t make it
“Oin!” Thorin bellowed as soon as you entered the mountain. Fili was being half-dragged, half carried to the medical wing, with one arm slung over your shoulders and one slung over Kili’s. His head hung low, and his trousers had droplets of blood on them. Thorin rushed ahead, making sure that there would be people to help him.
“Put him here,” Oin said calmly, once they entered the infirmary. The two of you tried to spare Fili as much pain as possible when you lowered him to the cot, but the groans and grunts that passed his lips left your heart in pieces. You gripped his hand, and brushed away the hair from his face with the other.
“It’s going to be okay amrâlimê. I’m here. Okay? I love you,” He squeezed your hand but it was limp and you could tell that he needed help and fast. The nurses rushed around the room with supplies that would help your beloved, but you refused to leave him. You stayed by his bedside, even when Kili and Throin had left the room.
“Lass, I need you to leave.” Oin spoke, his words not seeming real to you. How could you leave when he might not make it?
“I won’t leave him, not when he needs me,” Tears started to well in your eyes.
“What he needs is medical attention but I can’t do that with you in the way.” Oin rushed around the room, grabbing the herbs and such for Fili’s wound.
“I’ll stay out of the way, I promise, Don’t make me leave him, please don’t Oin. Let me stay with him please!” Whimpers that came from the cot brought you back to reality, back to your beloved who was currently bleeding from a possibly fatal wound. You wouldn’t leave him in what might be his final moments. You wouldn’t. Fili had always been there for you in your darkest moments, and you weren’t going to leave him in his.
“Lass, you need to let Oin do his work, now come on,” Thorin spoke from the doorway. Seeing his nephew in so much pain was one thing, but seeing you, whom he already considered a niece, in pain at the expense of Fili was another.
“I can’t leave him! He needs me!” You gripped his hand even tighter, hoping in any sense to provide comfort to your beloved. His eyes were squeezed tight, his face contorted in pain, as nurses started to tend to his smaller wounds. Your face was fixed on his, and so you didn’t see Thorin walk towards you.
He gripped you by the waist and threw you over his shoulder.
“Thorin!! Put me down!” You screamed, kicking and hitting your fists on his back. “I can’t leave him! He needs me!”
“Do your work, Oin, you won’t be disturbed. Please…” Thorin muttered as he passed the healer.
“I know, my King. I will try my best to save him,” Oin quickly rushed to the prince’s bedside, addressing the wound that would prove to the worst. But you kept screaming, pounding on your King’s back.
“Take me back, Thorin, he needs me! I can’t leave him. I can’t leave him...I can’t lose him…” You had stopped resisting your King and were limply thrown over his shoulder. The thoughts of losing your beloved had started to creep into your mind and that only made you cry harder. Once outside the doors of the infirmary, Thorin set you down on your feet, where you collapsed into him.
“I can’t lose him...I can’t be without him…” Your voice was muffled by the King’s furs, but he could hear them. He wrapped his arms around you a little tighter, hoping to provide some comfort for you during this time. He placed his chin on top of your head in an almost fatherly way.
“Now, now. He’ll be alright. Fili’s a fighter, and always has been. He’ll make it, don’t you worry Y/N,” Thorin comforted, while you pulled yourself away from his embrace to compose yourself.
“B-But what if he doesn’t?” You hiccuped, wiping away tears.
Thorin gave you a tight-lipped, small smile. “We can’t afford to think like that right now.” He walked away from the room, wanting to spare you his own fears about his eldest nephew.
You sighed, and sat on the ground beside the doorway, the cold stone beneath you nothing compared to the anxiety pushing through your body. Kili sat beside you not long after, his own anxiety getting to him. You couldn’t hear much through the thick oak door, but what did manage to escape were groans of Fili’s or Oin’s shouting -- neither of which made you feel any better.
It seemed like hours you and Kili were sitting there in silence. A servant came by to offer the two of you some food, but you refused, feeling sick to your stomach already. It probably didn’t help that you had some of Fili’s blood on your clothes from the battle, but you weren’t going to leave the door until you knew of Fili’s fate.
“It’s my fault, you know,” you muttered to Kili, your head leaned up on the wall, as if to get as close to your beloved as you could.
“What?”
“It’s my fault. It should’ve been me. That dagger was meant for me. He pushed me out of the way when I didn’t see it coming. I should be in there, not him.” A lone tear ran down your cheek but you didn’t have the energy to wipe it away. You couldn’t bear to look at Kili, knowing that you are the reason he might become an only child.
“Oh, Y/N,” Despite being hoarse, his voice was soft. Even without looking at him, you knew that his eyes turned into puppy dog eyes, and that if you looked at him, you’d break. “Don’t say that. He made his choice-”
“He’s in pain because of me, Kili. Nothing you can say will change that.” You snapped.
“You’re right. He’ll still be in pain no matter what I say. But I know that Fili loves you more than anything. He’d rather die than see you in pain. That’s the reason he took that for you. He loves you so much, Mahal, you’re all he talks about. It’s rather annoying, actually,” You chuckled a little at his attempt of an insult at his brother. “Y/N, he doesn’t regret his choice. Whatever he feels, he doesn’t care, because you are safe. That’s all that’s ever mattered to Fili.”
A few moments of silence came and went, interrupted with your sniffles, before you muttered a quiet “thank you” to Kili. It seemed like more hours before the wooden door was opened and Oin came out, his eyes and body weary. The both of you jumped up from the spots of the floor.
“Is he-”
“Can we-”
Oin smiled at the two of you. “It was touch and go for a little bit, but he’s going to make it. He’ll need lots of rest and it will be quite a while before he sees any battlefield again, but he’s okay.”
Your face erupted into the biggest smile you could muster and you threw your arms around the medic. The older dwarf stumbled a little bit at your actions, but gracefully accepted your thanks. When you went to open your mouth to ask if you could see him, he was already nodding towards the door. You looked to Kili.
“Do you want to...I mean… he’s your brother, you should go see him first,” you gestured towards the door but he shook his head.
“I know that all he really wants is to see you. I’ll go find Uncle and tell him the news,” You blushed at his words and before you could ask if he was sure, he was pushing you into the infirmary.
You walked closer to his cot, anxiety building in your chest again. He appeared to be sleeping but as soon as you sat beside him and intertwined your fingers with his, his eyes met yours. The simple action of knowing you would continue to see his gorgeous blue eyes again and again made your eyes well with tears once again.
“Oh, amrâlimê, don’t cry. I’m alright, you see? I’m here,” he gently rubbed his thumb over your hand, as best he could with your fingers still intertwined. “I’m not leaving you any time soon if I can help it,” You sniffled back your tears.
“I’m just...really really glad you’re okay,” You moved some of his hair out of his face with your other hand, grazing it across his face. He smiled softly, his face mirroring your own.
“Me too...I mean I’m really glad you’re okay, I wasn’t just agreeing with what you said.” His comment made you laugh and his heart swelled.
“I wasn’t the one who was hurt, amrâlimê.”
“Thank Mahal for that, you weren’t.”
“We’ll have the discussion of you sacrificing yourself for me another time, alright my love? Right now, you just need to rest,” You were still grazing the side of his face with your hand, the thought of him not being there was still fresh in your mind.
“Only if you rest with me,” He winked, only to grimace in pain. Despite his pain, he moved over to make room for you in the cot. When you looked at him with nervous eyes, he needed only to give the Durin puppy dog eyes for you to give in.
“Anything for you,” you mumbled once you were tucked into bed, your beloved safe with you.
