I was sorting through my bookcase again and had a sentimental moment with the Neil-Gaiman-Part of my babies. And this is what came out of it. Darcy musing about Alien-Gods. So, a bit for a warning:
Mention of Gods from Norse Mythology in a pop-culture/marvel-fashion. If you take offense with that, this mini-story is not for you.
Aside from that, don't take this one too serious.
Fingerstretching #04 - Gods
It was just so ‘Jane’ to go for the god of thunder, Darcy mused, during a boring debriefing. She wasn’t sure why she had ended up here again. Probably because Jane had chosen to sign a contract with Stark Industries instead of SHIELD.
Darcy still wasn’t sure why Jane had turned SHIELD down. Not that she complained. They were iPod-stealing live-ruiners. But still. It took guts to turn them down, a certain determination, and she just wondered what Jane’s drive had been. She had her guesses spread evenly between a) the fact that Jane had seen first hand in Erik’s case what good it did to you to have your ass owned by SHIELD, b) Jane still nursing a grudge against SHIELD for the Stunt in New Mexiko and the stunt that shipped them to Norway or c) the fact that Pepper Potts had someday just showed up in their cramped flat to ‘have a talk’ with Jane.
And. Well. There was the fact that Jane now was free to enter and leave the Avengers-tower whenever she wanted to, to visit Thor. Or Dr. Banner. Darcy suspected that Jane had a bit of a lady!boner for him. Or, more like, a science!boner.
Whatever her ultimate reason for settling for Stark had been, it had been a good decision so far. Stark didn’t meddle much with her work and just left her to do her thing, much the way Jane loved it. And he had let her set up a contract that protected her science against being used for evil or against her will. And Jane was meticulous with contracts. The only thing that Stark insisted on was that he could drag her to those debriefings on the situation if they remotely involved her work. Jane didn’t even think that a bad thing, however boring those debriefings were. It was weird and worrisome, but Jane seemed to actually enjoy to have discussions with Furry, Hill, Coulson or whatever Agent was in charge.
Stark didn’t like them, it seemed. Darcy wasn’t even sure he was listening all the time. She had actually seen him playing a game on his StarkPhone last time. And not in a subtle way. More in a way that screamed ‘I’m bored, let’s do something else, I’m not listening, you’re not wothy of my attention’ at Furry. And because it rilled that Furry-guy, he also made a point of dragging along Darcy to those briefings or debriefings or meetings or whatever. Apparently SHIELD didn’t like it much when their briefings got crowded. Stark had tried to get Pepper and Happy to come with them as well, but Pepper had not even deemed the request worthy of much of a serious reply. She had just patted his cheek, kissed him, said ‘No’ in a very sweet voice and left with her security. Happy had not even said anything, just followed on Pepper’s awesome heels. If Jane had a lady!boner for Dr. Banner, Darcy had one for Pepper.
In hindsight, she wished she could have just said ‘No’ and left, too. But here she was, boredly building things with the sugar cubes infront of her, eying Jane, who looked so happy with her Thor. Her god of thunder. Which was, as mentioned before, just so perfect for her. To fall for the guy who appeared through a scientific phenomenon and could summon rain and lighting as he pleased.
Which led to her wondering what kind of asir-god-alien would fit a political studies major or a taser genius, after another sip from her coffeemug. Taser screamed Thor, but she put the girllove before the booty. And she didn’t know that many asir-aliens anyway. And Thor’s friends were pretty much all more or less taken, from what she knew. Except that Fandrall, but Darcy had never had the hots for Robin Hood. So. What asir-alien could become her own, now that Jane had taken Thor? She said that out-loud, too, which earned her curious looks from Natasha and Clint and a somewhat confused look by Thor. They were all still waiting in conference room, though Furry had left, because Agent Hill still wanted to have a word with some of them. So up till a second ago, they had been lingering, but all lost deep in thought. And someone had to break the silence, right? So, what type of god could she go for?
Tony was all for it, saying that Norse mythology had some really kinky stuff she could go for. Darcy wasn’t that informed on norse mythology, only knowing bits used in sci-fi and fantasy-movies and books. Not that she wasn’t interested, mythology was cool, but back in school she had really been more into the Egyptian stuff or the King Arthus legend Maybe a bit due to her love for Stargate (Though she couldn’t be happier that Thor had turned out looking much hotter than the Thor in the show).
Which reminded her that she should maybe introduce Thor to that show some day. He'd probably be super amused by the frail, blue and brilliant guy. Oh, or that anime-thing a friend of her had been into, where Loki was a detective. Matantei Loki Ragnarok. And she should make him read Tolkien's books. He had devoured everything Jane had given him to read so far, especially Harry Potter. He would probably be very fascinated by the world Tolkien had created on the very sparse knowledge of the realms their ancestors had had. Speaking of knowledge.
Tony was happy to fill the gaps of her knowledge in sliding over his StarkPhone with Wikipedia open. Whenever she read a name that sounded nice, or saw a picture that appealed to her, she threw the name in the room and the others gave their thoughts. Natasha seemed to know a lot, but of cause Thor knew most, of cause. He supplied a big deal of information, though he also seemed to be holding back. Which was okay. She was only interested in knowing their super-alien-power and whether or not they were Dateable. She wasn’t really expecting gods, she was expecting hots.
After about fifteen minutes of contemplating and asking questions – though it had turned into Thor also replying the questions of all the other people in the room about some asir-stuff – Darcy flattered herself thinking that anything aside from either that ‘Hel’-woman or the Allfather was beneath her – which kind of shell-shocked Thor. Or, he looked like he was going green and a bit worried at the same time, while a part of him was amused. The later part was probably the one who knew that she didn’t really have secret plans to actually go and woo his father or, apparently, his niece. Still, he played along, and tried to reason with her about how bad a choice his father would be. Darcy jokingly decided that the matter was settled and that she already likd the guy. She didn’t tell him that her fancy for the old chunk was mostly based on the recent fifth re-read of ‘American Gods’ on a rainy evening. And boy were some of the gods hot stuff in there. She mostly fancied the Egyptian gods in that novel, but if the Allfather in the book was anything like the real deal she was so not surprised that his son in the real world had tried ruling earth. It was kind of sad that Gaiman hadn’t included Thor in the novel, though.
I prompted myself to pick the first thing from my current grocery-shopping-list and go with it. I stared at the screen blankly for half an hour and was sorely tempted to just not do it. But I need to write more frequently again. So. Darcy and Potatoes it is. Only... that my brain has a weird way of doing that. The second-to-last sentece was the first thing that came to my mind.
(So. In case you want to read something more sane next time... feel free to prompt.)
Fingerstretching #03 - Potatoes
One would think that working at S.H.I.E.L.D. with all the superhumans and not-complete-humans and the oh-no-you-don’t-even-try-to-be-humans would make Darcy more hardass or that hanging around with a chick like the Black Widow would rub off on her and that she’d get super skills herself. Or to put it bluntly, it was Hawkeye that would think this, as he suggested when he mock-asked Darcy while being on guard in Jane’s lab if she planned on inventing some weapon for herself like Stark had.
Well, she sure knew where he got the idea, and she had noted that he was only half-joking: Darcy was an awful lot in Stark’s lab when Jane gave her off. Just yesterday she had had a Skittles-fest in there, and he had allowed her most graciously to play with Dumm-E for a bit. And a week ago she had had the chance to see the most awesome Pepper Potts at work washing Tony’s head about something, being every bit as cool and impressive as Tony had claimed. If Darcy could pick a person here to rub off on her skill-vice she would want it to be Pepper. But even when so, she was around a lot. Somehow his lab was by far more relaxing than Jane’s. Jane was always so enthralled in what she did that Darcy easily felt like she was bothering her. Stark was… less serious. She felt a teensy-bit less unwanted and useless when she was there. Though it was, maybe, a bit weird to be treated like one of his robots. But that was okay.
So – sure, Barton had reason to worry, she’d say. Briefly Darcy wondered if that really was Hawkeye asking or if he was merely acting on Furry’s suspicion. She didn’t really know the guy. He was very elusive and quiet, and she didn’t exactly trust everything Tony had told her about the Avengers. He claimed that Clint had a nest in every part of the Avengers tower, where he said. And sometimes raised birds. She also claimed that he loved to be called Legolas. So far, she had not called him much of anything aside from ‘you’, ‘Hawkeye’ and the occasional ‘Barton’.
The awkward pause was broken when Stark snorted (- why the hell was he in Jane’s lab, again?). Darcy’s eyes glimmered with mischief while innocently waving around a taser in one hand and a coffeemug in the other, claiming these her only weapons. And they were powerful weapons indeed. Coffee she made was so strong it could raise the dead. And the other thing was a secretly-enhanced-taser-curtesy-to-Stark-Industries.
As in: a secretly-enhanced-taser-kudos-to-Tony-being-awesome-and-bored.
As in: secretly-enhanced-taser-because-Tony-wanted-her-to-be-able-to-stand-her-ground-against-aliens.
As in: secretly-enhanced-taser-because-Tony-wanted-her-to-accidentailly-on-purpose-taser-people.
As in: secretly-enhancerd-taser-for-Starks-mad-glee-at-the-thought-of-her-tasering-Furry-or-Captain-America.
As in: secretly-enhanced-taser-that-had-to-be-kept-secret-at-all-kosts-to-not-ruin-her-chances.
So she made the most innocent face she could muster when she proclaimed that at least one person in this freakshow needed to be ‘as normal as dancing potatoes’. And she was pretty sure that Hawkeye didn’t buy it. He stared at her for, like, ten seconds, before frowning with a pretty serious expression. His reply surprised her, and made Tony choke on his muffin. "What kind of dance? Walzing potatoes? Belly-dancing potatoes? Tango Potatoes?" Darcy decided that maybe she should spend less time in Tony's lab from now on. And more trying to get to know this guy.
(I have plans for Marvel Bang now. They involve Darcy kind of ending up as Tony's internet, the women of the Avengers!Universe teaming up, a whole lot of Darcy-and-Pepper-screentime and a bit of Jane-and-Betty-screentime. And maybe some twisting of norse mythology. Only thing I'm not sure about yet is the... plot. Awesome.)
For now, have a bit of fingerstretching. It's ridiculous. It involves a drunk Darcy, a bed-ridden Steve and a Tony who feels a bit guilty. But mostly Steve and Tony being amused by Darcy's antics after having watched a bit too much of How I Met Your Mother. Spoiler for Iron Man #03?
Fingerstretching #02 - Wing-man
It was a little attack on both of them when they didn’t expect it. Some bad guy had been beat up and Captain America was in an unstable condition. He had been brought back into the Avengers Tower on his own request, though, and now Tony subtly played nurse –as in, constantly hanging around where Steve sat on the couch 80% of the time, as if to make up for the fact that he had not been there to work with the team. His position in the Avengers was a bit unsure right now anyway, and Furry had officially banned Tony from everything Avengers and SHIELD. Tony acted like he didn’t care about those orders, but it didn’t keep him from feeling a bit guilty when he saw the others returning beaten up. It was all a big junk of tension.
Right now, though, it was in the middle of the night and Captain America was reading some Book and Tony was just sitting there, watching TV. The perfect opportunity to settle the matter that had bugged her and she wasn’t sure that both even knew existed. So she just popped up beside Iron Man when he was almost falling asleep. Was she staggering a bit? Might be. But drinking games and introducing Maria Hill– who just looked so much like that Scherbatsky! – to “How I Met Your Mother” were absolutely worth it.
“Look, Iron Ego, I don’t care that you’ve saved his ass and gave him a home or that you’re the one who made sure that Jane now can work close to him,” Darcy said, crossing her arms over her chest, trying to glare down Tony-fucking-Stark and an amused-looking Steve Rogers at the same time (which was only physically possible because she was the only one standing). “…and I’m not even starting on the whole fish-out-of-water-bro-thing and having Supermuscle-Stories Mr. I-am-the-American-Man could come up with - and don’t you dare deny it and pull the ‘We’re not that close, you can have the title’-card on me, I won’t fall for that.” For good measure she tapped the back of the couch with the bottle of beer in her right hand, so she had Steve’s absolute and undivided attention. She wished she had brought a taser with her to swing it around like Thor did so impressively with Mew-Mew.
“Thing is, I’m calling dibs on the title of ‘Thor’s Wingman’. Because I am the one who has to live with his constant hogging up and kissing up Jane and I am the one always leaving the apartment or whatever room we currently are in when he get’s things rolling. Drinking and watching movies until they’re finally done. And do you have any idea how long that takes with that guy’s god-stamina? Jane’s such a lucky girl. And I’m ruining my liver forever.” For a moment she paused, a bit distracted by the thought. But dammit, she had to make her point clear. Now she made a move towards Iron Man, who had raised his hands in defence and had yet to utter something that wasn’t a snort or suppressed laughter.
“And you, Mr. Stark-naked-and-drunk-on-the-floor-in-Thor’s-Room have a knack for ruining the mood.” She turned around a bit too forcefully, almost falling over when she now waved at Steve. “And I don’t really have to spell out how the whole ‘Avenger’s Assemble’-Shit you pull can be such a cock-block for Jane, right?” She gave them both a look of ‘try-to-trump-that’, flipped her hair as she had seen it on movies, pointedly ignoring Stark’s amused look and Steve’s struggle to not openly laugh at her before leaving the room as she had entered it: staggering.
(As I'm still horribly conflicted about what I want to write for Marvel Bang, I thought I might as well do a bit of finger stretching. So I'll write a bit of Darcy&the Avengers for you, randomly picking words from a dictionary as prompts. They'll be short, but I hope they'll be fun? Feel free to throw prompts at me.)
#01 - Attentive
Darcy was good at taking care of people. Growing up as the older sister of triplets did that to people, especially if those siblings were anything like Eddy, Elli and Henry and always likely to get into trouble. It was just a role she had learned to fall into naturally. Always noting the tiny details, always the one to take clean up after other people’s mess, always picking up the subtle signs.
She liked it that way. She liked being needed by people and she liked taking care of them because it was something she was good at. When she had somewhat adopted Jane she had been quick to sort out the woman’s habits and found her triggers and buttons. What made her tick, what made her worry, what she needed to be comfortable and what could make her go do stuff like taking a break.
When they had been moved to the Avengers tower on Thor’s request Darcy had needed a bit of time to figure most of the people living there out. She certainly didn’t really know them, but she knew her way around them and knew what she could do to make this living situation as smooth as possible for everyone. Within the first month she knew that she should avoid Banner at early mornings and to not disturb the Black Widow when she was reading a Russian novel (it was okay to disturb her when she was reading an English novel, though). She knew that Captain America (aka Captain Tight-pants, as she secretly called him) went to the gym when he was angry or stressed, she knew that Pepper Potts always ate an apple when she was stressed and that Stark listened to AC/DC when he was trying not to think about something important.
So she made sure to adapt to these little details, just like she had adapted to handing Jane a cup of coffee before trying to ask her for anything.It made everyone’s life so much easier and it made Darcy feel more comfortable if the people around her were happier. When Pepper passed her by, with one of the apples Darcy now bought fresh from the market, it made her smile.
Though it had really surprised her when Pepper had stopped this morning and called her name. Darcy had turned around, a bit confused, but the other woman had merely smiled, slightly waving with the apple. “I just wanted to thank you for those delicious apples. I have no idea where you get them from, they taste like they’re straight from Eden. I never had such good apples before you moved in. So – thanks. I appreciate what you do for everyone. If I can do anything for you, let me know okay?” Darcy had blinked, a bit surprised, and nodded, waving back weakly. “Uh, sure? Will do, Miss Potts. Thanks?” Pepper had laughed at that. “It’s Pepper for my friends. And for apples like these? You’re my best friend right now, Darcy. I’ll see you later. Have a great day and don’t let those scientists bother you too much. You’re not getting enough sleep and I don’t need more insomniac people in this Tower. Take care!” And with that Pepper turned around again, humming to herself, leaving behind stunned Darcy.
(Did you know that the adjective of insomniac is insomniac and not insomniatic? I might have done that wronge my whole ESL-Life...)
(Erm. Back to topic? I just noted that I think being so very attentive to other people and always noting small things is a trait that Pepper and Darcy share. My opinion, though. Not necessarily yours.)
