#finished thoughts

[hebiidol]

misc fem testar doodles from figuring out designs.

[friendofjuly]

letters for four letters

thinking of your hands

just in the clear, on my ribcage and hips

you could send me to heaven

with my jaw in your grip

i’ve never thought of love in a backseat

but with you i’ll begin

always searching for your heartbeat

i’ll give in

nervous over steamed up windows

and thankful for a bad days end

on your lips i’ll leave my halo

trembling messages to send

four letter words for some form of pleasure

like fuck you’re such a good kisser

or damn there’s nothing better

but love is trapped behind teeth and replaced with lesser

always worried about too soon

but let me say, i could stay here forever

in the backseat floating with you

our lips could be a tether

and when we’re not close enough to cling to

we’ll just write each other letters

when my truth comes out

i’ll just let it swallow me whole

maybe it’ll drive me home

four letter words come and go

but you never leave my soul

i really do love you, just so you know

[hebiidol]

lets bounce !

[friendofjuly]

messenger

baby sparrow

caught by the head

between two bars closing

wrung out it’s neck

trying to set itself free

by the time i got to it

it was too late

the poor thing

must’ve been there all day

saved it’s dying breath for me

i’ve never held anything so small

a fate for a life so delicate

pain and suffering

could only say it was my fault

both too soft for this world to see

catalyst in hindsight

world’s metaphor to me

memorial in honesty

the body belongs to the earth

that’s where i let it be

[hebiidol]

hebi/idol + it/its + tme nb white. i like reading webnovel translations & thinking abt them :)

feel free to send me recs or thoughts on anything i've posted! :)

[friendofjuly]

saisons

i always fall in love with unattainable men

the ones who live too far to fully let in

or ones too far back in their head to reach

and i let them go before they manage to see

thank you god, for the gentle ones though

the boys who fostered my heart and shaped it like dough

and thank you god, for the rough ones too

for i would not be who i am without what they put me through

may i be a trophy,

or an enemy

there’s enough love for you anyway

in this heart, which remembers what you had to say

and with that, i never stay in one place for long

promise i’ll be good for the duration of our song

we can sing together, but when the track finally stops

i’ll be back on track with my old chops

and that’s the way my mind works

you can consider it a hereditary curse

the women of my kin will agree

men are like seasons, enjoy it while it peaks but you’ll soon want to be free

some people search for spring forever

and end up with a dozen winters

you’ll look back fondly on a couple summers

and find that autumn is a beautiful way to suffer

my calendar’s not complete by any means

maybe i’ll remember to take it down when i leave

you can hit me up to remind me of the all the days

we spent together before i changed

[leiirdo]

When your name randomly comes up in conversations and I try my damn hardest to keep you from residing in my mind.

Thoughts; 12:53p

[poopyfacetomatonose]

I think the whole idea that a man shouldn’t hit a woman is bullshit. And before you unleash your waves of feminism or whatever on me, let me explain. As some of you may know, the other night my stepmum went crazy one night last week, and I mean crazy. She completely lost the plot. Yelling and raving till about three in the morning, I hid in my room while she had it out with my dad. And at various points in the night, she hit him. As in, she hit him so hard that I could hear it in my room all the way down the hall. Multiple times. Now thankfully my dad is a big guy, and all he came off with was a bruised shoulder, but all I could think about was what if he want? What if he had been a tiny, thin guy with not much to him? What if it has been my brother taking those punches instead of my dad? She could have done a lot more damage, and he would have been defenceless. And this is the part that really frustrates me, that quite frankly pisses me off. Because she knew. She knew that as soon as he laid a hand on her, even if it was in self-defence, she could be on the phone to the cops. On the phone crying, saying that her husband was beating her up. That he was hitting her, abusing her. I man, even the cop that came around that night looked a bit sceptical when my dad said she had hit her, and I think it was worse because of the fact that there wasn’t any visible signs. A man hitting a woman? Abuse. A woman hitting a man? Self-defence. Now I know not all cases are like this, and I know you have to look at each individual instance and take it play by play, but I do think that some women use this to their advantage, to manipulate and lie and get what they want. Women aren’t always the innocent victims they make themselves out to be. No, I don’t condone violence. What I’m trying to say is that the sigma around men and violence towards women is so strong that it leaves men with virtually no room for self-defence, or anything of the kind and it leaves women open to manipulate and twist the situation to their benefit.