The Highlights of Game Day
1) I forgot that Princess' schedule got shifted back an hour so that we can met up at 10pm rather than 11pm, so I get a text at 1030 asking where I'm at.
2) Carol says she has to leave at midnight because she has training in the morning
3) Brady changed his name of his cape from "The Strange Cape" to "The Rape Cape". He said it's because it gives forceful hugs. He also brought a Mario to be his mini.
4) Geoff introduces his class as basic white guy.
5) Princess started off strong as a bard with a joke.
"What the different between a rooster and a sock? one will cock a doodle do and for one any cock will do!"
6) The first natural one of the night was for Brady to play his bag pipes. They ended up bursting.
7) Carol realizes that she can track a person with her bear and successfully does so.
8) Brady also rolled the first natural 20 (21 total) on a perception check and spotted the Vine Blight hanging out in the woods. Carol totaled out at 23 and instead of telling their party what they saw. The monk immediately told the ranger not to say anything to the rest of the party and they started arguing about it until the Blight attacked.
9) Brady kills the Blight by bashing its face in with a mace and proceeds to tea bag it.
10) Geoff crawls into a tent to avoid seeing Brady's victory humiliation and finds the first treasure of the game. Everyone proceeds to try and find more.
11) Geoff is excited and thinks that there is something in the burnt out fire pit. He rolls a natural 20 to check and finds squat. Proceeds to pout
12) Carol gives her axe to Brady to chip a tree down and cross a river.
13) When they come to a fork in the road, they freakin split the party. Not even evenly!! Princess goes by herself and she picks the one that isn't booby trapped. The other party trips a dead fall and Carol and her bear take a log to the face.
14) Final fight happens. With Princesses opening move to be casting an illusion of a naked woman from where she is hiding unbeknownst to her party.The only person that doesn't think it's real is the female bandit. This includes her party. Hilariously at this time, Carol's nose starts bleeding and Princess' solution is to shove a tampon up there to keep playing. Pictures are taken and memes are made about the violence of DnD.
15) Geoff finally gets to participate in combat and his first attack hits and he divine smites the shit out of the bandit leader nearly killing him.
16) Brady unleashes the rape cape for full stranger danger effect. And gets an arrow to the arm for it.
17) Carol arrows someone in the eye and is psyched.
18) ALL OF MY FUCKING BANDITS MISS THEIR ATTACKS THE NEXT ROUND!!!
19) Geoff finish's off the bandit leader by cutting his dick off and performing an intimidating yell. This intimidates all the remaining bandits.
20) Princess wants to finish off the bandits and Nat 1s her dagger throw into her foot bringing her health to 2 points
21) Carol wants to shoot the bandits that are running away at this point and shoots at them. She Nat 1s and shoots Brady in the ass. He is not at 1 point and is stink eyeing her like crazy.
We realize it's now 0130 and everyone is bummed to bail, but they take pictures of the map to remember what was going on for the next play through.
Highlight for me was after everyone left, Princess came up and said that she actually really liked playing and she can't wait to play again.
Overall I think it was super successful and really fun! Lots of jokes were made, beers were drank, and cheese dip was eaten. Now to see if it takes another month and a half to get together and try again!
