So yesterday I had to go buy new work pants. One of the pairs I have no longer fit due to my quads getting larger from Crossfit. I'm learning that clothing is not nice to girls with larger thighs and small waists. Or an "athletic" build." In one style of pants I was up to a 10 and they were still too tight in the thighs, but they were clearly too large in my waist. I ended up getting another style in a size 8, which is an equivalent to a size 29, the size of my new jeans. But there's a couple of problems here. 1) The waist is so large in all of my new pants that I have to constantly pull them up. But if I got them in a 4 or 6 (the size I need for my waist), I can't get them over my thighs. 2) It was actually a psychological struggle to buy such a "large" size. I had to stop myself from crying. I know size and weight shouldn't matter. I weigh more now than I have ever weighed in my entire life. Society tells me that I'm not desirable now because I can't wear a 4 or a 6. I'm moving further away from the "ideal" body type. I might weigh more and be in a larger pants size, but I am also stronger than I have ever been. I finished a pretty tough workout in 13 minutes today and I'm really proud of that. Society can fuck itself. I'm going to keep getting stronger and keep lifting - there's no way I'm going to stop now. I just wish pants would be a little more accommodating.
