I’d absolutely love to see something Fivan and winter fete themed!!
It's definitely not like any Winter Fete celebration they've had before, whether at a feast in the glittering halls of the Little Palace or one of the many, many muddy and grubby campaigns on which they've spent a modest battlefield holiday, but then, it's definitely not like any year they've had before, either. Both of them are homesick in different ways and for different reasons, and eventually -- indeed, probably sooner than they think -- they'll end up back in Ravka, difficult as that might be while Alina Starkov sits the throne. But for now they're here, in a small house on the edges of a forest and a farm in the rural countryside of Novyi Zem, and they're doing their best to make what cheer they can. Fedyor has found some pine needles and hung a few makeshift garlands, and he stands at the window, staring vaguely out at the swirling flakes. They're keeping the Winter Fete by the Ravkan calendar, several days after their neighbors, and it feels even lonelier than usual.
"Fedya," Ivan says briskly, from behind him. "Your piroshki are burning."
With a curse, Fedyor turns away from his brooding and hurries back to the stove. They haven't had either the ambition or the heart to make a full traditional twelve-course fasting meal for the Holy Supper, instead just pulling together what odds and ends they can, but he's spent a lot of time on it, and he's not going to ruin all his hard work now. He pulls them off the heat, stirs the mushroom soup and the honey-and-barley kasha, and Ivan collects the dishes and carries them to the table. Anyone familiar with their old selves would blink to see them like this: wearing only trousers and shirtsleeves instead of the ubiquitous red keftas, alone in a small log house instead of their old apartments at the Little Palace, but at least they still do have each other, albeit scarred and considerably worn. When everything's prepared, Ivan reaches out absently and links an arm around Fedyor's waist, pulling him in for a distracted kiss. "It looks lovely."
"Thanks, Vanya," Fedyor mutters, forehead pressed against Ivan's cheek and conscious of a great weariness that always feels liable to rise up and swallow him. "I suppose we should go ahead and eat."
It's not as if they're waiting for anyone or anything else, but it's a little disconcerting to stand on such lack of ceremony, and they glance at each other diffidently, then start for the table. They're just about to sit down when there's a knock on the front door, and Ivan visibly tenses. Both of them automatically reach out with their Heartrender senses, but it's only one person, and there's no sense of a threat.
Still, it's not as Ivan ever welcomes company in the best of times, and he advances leerily on the door with the look of a man alarmed at the prospect that he might be about, Saints forbid, forced to socialize. He jerks the door open with his typically unfriendly Ivan death stare, which should send any hapless visitors scurrying. "Yes?"
"Excuse me," a man's voice says, with a soft Kaelish burr. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Just wanted to bring these by. You boys are Ravkan, I thought you might be celebrating tonight."
While Ivan regards this display of unexpected neighborly solicitude with squiggle-eyed suspicion, Fedyor recognizes the voice and steps up with his usual running-intervention-for-his-dearly-beloved smile. "Ah," he says, reaching out to accept the plate of ginger pryaniki; it's a genuinely touching gesture to have both remembered the date of their foreign festivity and made something culturally appropriate. "Thanks so much, Colm. We are, in fact. That's very good of you."
Colm -- the kind, middle-aged, red-haired widower on whose farm they are working part-time in order to pay their keep -- looks pleased, waving a hand as if to remark that it's nothing. Ivan also grudgingly choruses his thanks, though he looks briefly alarmed that Colm might be expecting an invitation inside to stay for dinner. Fedyor is almost tempted, since it would be nice to have someone who wasn't just the two of them, but Saints forbid they do that. "Thanks," he says again. "Really. We appreciate it, Mr. ...." Embarrassingly, he draws a blank. "I'm so sorry," he says. "I've forgotten your last name."
"Fahey," Colm says heartily. "No worries, none at all. I'm glad I was able to bring them by and -- "
"Fahey?" Ivan rears back and his eyes turn to slits. He stares at the dowdy Kaelish farmer as if utterly unable to connect the dots, and then he says in a tone of deeply misleading nonchalance, "I'm sure that you don't happen to know a fucking id -- sorry, excuse me, a Zemeni sharpshooter named Jesper?"
"Jesper?" Colm lights up like a holiday cracker. "I do! I sure do! That's my son, my boy! Jesper Fahey! Do you -- do you know him, Mr. Kaminsky?"
Ivan grits his teeth so hard that Fedyor can hear them squeak. He's also slightly startled at this unpleasant revelation -- he did hear the name when they were first introduced, he recalls that now, but it's a common Kaelish surname and there was no clear impetus to connect it to, well, Ivan's Sworn Nemesis For All Time. But Colm is bursting with paternal pride while Ivan looks as if only the solemn occasion (it's still technically the Adventus Great Fast) will prevent him from committing a minor murder on the spot. But Colm Fahey, thank the Saints, is nothing like his obnoxious offspring, and it does seem like bad form. "Ah," Ivan says, stretching his lips into a patently unconvincing smile. "Yes. We have... crossed paths."
Colm looks set to demand everything they know about his son, for which Fedyor doesn't exactly blame him, but he should definitely defuse this situation now, for reasons. "Thanks again," he says, putting a hand on Colm's shoulder and not-entirely frog-marching him out, but also making sure he can get between his husband and their unsuspecting landlord. "Thanks so much. Happy Winter Fete!"
With that, still somewhat rudely, he slams the door in Colm's bewildered face, then turns around to regard Ivan still grinding his teeth like a whetstone. "Vanya," he says pointedly. "Next time you see Colm, thank him for the cookies and do not say a word."
/whispers/ So maybe I now have to ask for Ivan and the No Good Terrible Very Bad Day Attempting to Babysit a Grisha Child Who Can Summon Light and Shadow. How could this possibly go wrong.
Once again, this got long, so here's the first chapter of A Day in the Life of Ivan, Or: Ivan’s Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day.
The worst day of Ivan’s life begins years before the fateful day itself, if that’s possible. He’s grateful not to know the precise day, but he knows who—or what, rather—is to blame.
It’s the damn heterosexuals. They just won’t stop fucking, and they’ve made it everyone else’s problem now.
The heterosexuals in question are, of course, Kirigan and Alina, or as they’re known now, the Tsar and Tsarina.
&&&
About three years before the Worst Day™, Ivan is minding his own business, just trying to find some decent food after returning from a mission to the northern border. It wasn’t a bad trip; Fedyor had been with him and they’d enjoyed the opportunity to spend some time together outside the political games of Os Alta.
Nevertheless, Ivan is eager to eat some food that isn’t dried and to sleep in his own comfortable bed. He’s already debriefed with the Tsar and bathed, so he’s delighted to find it’s time for dinner. It’s to be a small group tonight, just the king and queen, Nikolai, Zoya, Tamar, Nadia, Fedyor and him. He can tolerate them all (except Fedyor, who of course is the light of his life), though Alina remains permanently on thin ice. She makes the Darkling light and happy, and it’s just unnatural.
They settle around the table and fall into comfortable conversation. Tolya is on an assignment and intends to travel to Kerch after this. Tamar and Nadia are beginning to formalize their union and are looking for a house. If their bickering and the obscene looks Zoya and Nikolai are giving each other are any indication, Ivan expects some kind of announcement from them any day. The Tsar intends to invite some dignitaries from Novyi Zem to the palace in a few weeks.
And Tsaritsa Alina is pale and...unwell. She looks queasy, and Ivan feels a moment of alarm. Grisha can’t get sick, not unless they don’t use their powers. Given that Alina is the Sol Koroleva, the renowned Sun Summoner, that seems unlikely. Few things lead to such ill appearances. Maybe some kind of poison? If she or her food are being poisoned, they need to know as soon as possible.
Ivan does his usual first step; he counts the heartbeats, checking their speeds. One, two, three, four, everyone is normal, five, six, seven, eight, nine...ah, the ninth is faint and fast.
Wait. Nine? There are only eight of them here at dinner, and the attendants have long since departed.
It hits Ivan like a lightning bolt, and he gasps aloud in shock and horror. The most reasonable explanation for the extra heartbeat and Alina’s ill looks is—oh, saints protect them all—a baby.
Everyone turns to look at him, as though he is the one who’s done something strange and dangerous.
Ivan gapes at Alina and points a finger accusingly, “You’re pregnant! With a baby!”
Beside him, Fedyor closes his eyes and shakes his head, letting out a sigh. Tamar and Nadia exchange a knowing, amused look, though they manage not to laugh. Zoya raises one shapely eyebrow.
Nikolai grins. “One generally is pregnant with babies, as opposed to anything else. Except perhaps with genius ideas, in my case and David’s. Alina, moi tsar, congratulations to you both.”
Alina glares at Ivan. What? He’s not the unholy saint about to unleash terror onto the earth from their womb.
Once he glances at Kirigan, though, Ivan stills. The Tsar is ashen and looks as though someone has dropped an iron on his head, or told him that his beloved horse is Grisha too.
“Aleksander, I wasn’t sure. I was waiting until I was to tell you,” Alina says, one hand on her husband’s forearm. “Are...are you all right?”
The Tsar opens his mouth, but no sounds come out.
Tamar and Nadia stand, hand-in-hand. “We, ah, think we’ll take our leave now. Thank you for a lovely dinner, Sol Koroleva, my King,” Tamar says, and she and her fiancée flee.
Zoya clears her throat and gives Nikolai a look that is very different from the hungry one Ivan so despises on faces that aren’t Fedyor’s.
With a nod at her, Nikolai stands and helps her to her feet. “Indeed. Your hospitality is, as always, boundless, though I can’t help but feel we’re trespassing on it every second we linger here. Erm, do let me know when I can get you a gift.”
“Congratulations,” Zoya says, and to Ivan’s disgust, she actually sounds sincere. He watches as she and Nikolia leave, one of the Lantsov pup’s hands at the small of her waist. One would think the heterosexuals would have learned from this evening that touching each other is dangerous, but apparently some of them are just utter fools.
Fedyor elbows him, and Ivan turns to scowl at his beloved. “Wha—”
A point of his head in the direction of the Tsar and Tsaritsa quiets Ivan.
Alina is kneeling beside her husband’s chair, stroking his arm. Aleksander Kirigan, King of Ravka, Shadow Summoner, the Black General, sits still as a statue, eyes wide with shock.
“We’ll head out now too,” Fedyor says.
Ivan nods, grabbing Fedya’s arm and hauling him from the room. Over his shoulder, Ivan yells, “Good luck!”
Fedyor smacks him, whispering furiously as they close the door behind them. “‘Good luck’?! You’re supposed to say ‘congratulations,’ or ‘have a nice evening,’ you utter troll.”
“I’m a troll now? See if I give you a massage when we get back to our rooms,” Ivan grouses. He pulls Fedyor along, pulling him away from where he seemed inclined to linger by the door. Eavesdropping, pah. He can’t believe he’s married to such a busybody.
Who would want to stay to hear whatever nonsense the Darkling and his wife are about to say or do? He’s had enough of that for one lifetime, thank you very much.
Ivan shudders. The two most powerful Grisha on the planet, one a sun summoner and the other a shadow summoner, having a baby? The world is definitely doomed.
&&&
The next day, Ivan receives a summons to go see the Tsar. Dread churns in his stomach, and he rubs his eyes. He hadn’t slept well, especially after he and Fedyor had a tiff about “inappropriate behavior and outbursts.” And now he’s to see his boss, probably about said outburst the previous night.
He accompanies Anton, the young oprichnik to the Tsar’s quarters, and the boy brightens with excitement to be talking to one of the Tsar’s most favored Grisha. “Thank you, Andrei. I’ll make my way from here.” The boy’s face falls, but Ivan dismisses him with a nod. If the oprichniki got any more friendly, they’d start calling him Vanya without his permission. Appalling.
Ivan takes a deep breath, then knocks at the door. He’s long since learned the value of knocking after Alina and the General got together, especially now that they share their quarters. Unfortunately, no healer has yet to find something to wipe certain sights from his brain.
Ivan lets himself into the room, waiting while the Tsar steps around the corner from the bedroom he shares with his queen.
“Good morning, Ivan.”
“Good morning, moi soverennyi. I hope you rested well,” Ivan replies, tone funereal. Saints, he prays he’s not about to be sent to Tsibeya permanently. He runs his hand under his collar, annoyed to find he’s actually sweating.
Kirigan’s face gives nothing away. “I did, thank you. The Tsaritsa is with Genya and one of the healers.”
“And she...she is well?” Ivan gulps.
“Yes. She was apparently a bit surprised last night herself, as she’d only just begun to suspect she might be pregnant.”
As much as Ivan hates when the Tsar’s feelings show—it’s usually him making soppy, annoying faces at Alina—he wishes Aleksander would just say what’s on his mind.
“My apologies, sir, I was also surprised. She seemed unwell, and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t, say, being poisoned.”
“You thought someone might be poisoning my wife?” Kirigan is incredulous.
“Things have been very calm with Fjerda lately. I don’t trust it.”
The General mutters under his breath, something about not trusting anything.
Ivan waits. Finally, Kirigan breaks the not-so-silent silence. “Well, thank you for your concern. And, ah, the surprising news.”
“You’re most welcome,” he replies gloomily.
“You don’t seem thrilled.”
“Forgive me, moi tsar, but I don’t see a need for excitement at a natural result of your conjugal activities. Sir.”
Oh, saints, is Kirigan frowning at him? Ivan mentally starts packing his belongings when the frown becomes a smile and then a laugh.
Perhaps Aleksander still isn’t quite recovered from the shock of his impending fatherhood.
He’s not paying attention to Ivan anyway. Kirigan makes his way to the table, shuffling the papers there unseeingly. “I didn’t think it was possible, you know.”
“I did not.” And Ivan would like to keep it that way.
Alas, Aleksander seems inclined to continue talking. “In all my long life, longer than you know, I’ve never fathered a child.”
Ivan grimaces. The world is probably grateful, though now it has much to fear. “It would have been challenging to have had a child during the wars, sir.”
Kirigan waves this aside, and unfortunately continues speaking. “Still, for it to happen with Alina...I’m so thrilled, Ivan.”
“And I am...happy for you, General.” Make it stop. Ivan is queasy.
“Of course, it’s probably for the best that it didn’t happen when Alina and I first got together, especially now that I know how possible that was.”
Ivan wants to cover his ears and sing “la la la la la,” but the implications of what his boss is saying finally sink in, and his horror at this whole situation increases exponentially. “Wait. Do you mean to say you weren’t using, ah, preventative measures?”
Kirigan’s face grows sheepish. “Until my conversation with Alina last night after you all departed, I wasn’t aware there was such a thing. In my day, one simply planned around the time of the month or withdrew from—”
“I beg you to stop talking. Moi soverennyi,” Ivan adds as an afterthought.
The Tsar falls silent, and Ivan sighs with relief.
But something bothers him. “Did you not get any sort of talk about how to prevent pregnancy when you were training? Even I did when I was young, before everyone knew I wouldn’t have to worry about that.”
“Like I said, there weren’t those kinds of options when I was young, as far as I know,” Kirigan says with a shrug.
Ivan begins to realize that his boss is, in fact, much older than he thought. That explains the herring and rye, too. He hesitates before venturing to speak. “Do...was Alina—the queen, that is, did she explain the different kinds of birth control, or…?”
“Well, I can’t get her more pregnant, Ivan.”
It’s too horrible to even contemplate, and Ivan shudders.
Kirigan laughs and slaps his shoulder. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to give me The Talk. Alina was so upset I didn’t know that she told me everything last night.”
Ivan’s lips twist in dismay at Aleksander’s rapturous expression that indicates there was a demonstration of some practical applications. Ugh. “Small mercies.”
“Well, hopefully you’ll consider this next a mercy: I want you and Fedyor to stay close through Alina’s pregnancy, especially once word gets out.”
Staying in Os Alta won’t be so bad, but the idea of dancing attendance on Alina, all while some parasite hijacks and distorts her body...well, hopefully he’ll get a good field assignment once this pregnancy is over. “Of course, moi tsar. And when will it end? I mean, ah, when is the blessed event?”
“In seven and a half months or so, perhaps eight. She’s about five or six weeks along, the healer says. And that, well…” Kirigan smiles at what is clearly the memory of this child’s conception.
Ivan fervently wracks his brain, desperate to keep his boss from offering more information that will give him nightmares about heterosexual intercourse. “And is there any way of knowing whether the babe will be a shadow summoner or sun summoner? Or both?”
A stricken look comes over Kirigan’s face. “Both?” He clearly hasn’t considered this possibility yet. “But that…” He doesn’t continue, instead going to fall into his chair and stare into distance.
It’s going to be a long few months.
&&&
It’s roughly eight months after that when Ivan is rudely pulled from sleep by Genya bursting into his and Fedyor’s room like she has the right.
It’s obscenely early in the morning, Ivan is, as is his usual habit, sleeping on his side facing the window. Fedyor, as is his usual custom, sleeps with his arm slung over Ivan’s waist and his head buried between his shoulder blades. It’s very soothing, normally.
Not today, though. The door opens with a bang, and Genya yells, “It’s time! She’s here!”
Ivan, suddenly wide awake, goes to jump out of bed. Instead, he finds that Genya has slowed their heart rates enough that hurrying is impossible. He glares at her. “What the fuck are you doing in our room? Who is here?”
“The baby is here. The tsarevna.”
“It’s a girl?” Fedyor asks with a smile.
Genya grins back. “Yes. She’s adorable.”
Ivan does not smile. “I’m glad she’s arrived. But why are you here in our bedroom at—” he glances at the clock and continues, “4:52 in the morning?”
“Everyone is going to see here. You’re the Tsar’s right-hand man, Ivan, so they’ll be expecting you.”
“Well, Genya, darling, you’ll have to let our hearts do their normal thing if you want us to do that,” Fedyor adds.
She shakes her head and drops her hand. “Of course. Sorry. See you there in fifteen minutes, and please be wearing pants. And shirts.”
Ivan grumbles, but gets out of bed. It’s difficult to want to leave when Fedyor is looking over him like that, but Kirigan probably will be upset if they don’t come to fawn over his spawn in what he deems a reasonable amount of time.
He and Fedyor make their way down the halls of the palace to Aleksander’s and Alina’s private apartment. The door is open, but Ivan nods at the guards and knocks anyway before stepping inside, Fedyor on his heels. He walks back to the bedroom, where he can hear hushed, happy conversations.
Alina is lying on the bed. She looks sweaty and disgusting, but in a radiant and maternal way that the Tsar seems to find beautiful, since he can’t look away from her. Typical, and exactly what got them into this mess.
The mess in question is wrapped in a blanket in her mother’s arms. Ivan glances at the small bundle, which seems to be sleeping. It is certainly very red.
Kirigan sits in a chair beside the bed, as close to it and his wife and new daughter as he can. He’s resting one hand on Alina’s shoulder, while the other trails along his daughter’s tiny head.
“The tsarevna is lovely,” Fedyor says, smiling down at the family.
Ivan thinks that’s a bit of a stretch, but he nods. “She looks like a baby. A healthy one.”
Fedyor elbows him, but Alina just rolls her eyes. “Thank you, I think.”
“She’s beautiful,” Aleksander says firmly, his face still disturbingly dreamy. “We’ve decided to call her Anastasia.”
Nastia. That seems about right.
Just then, the wee girl stirs and starts to wail. As her cries grow louder and Alina shifts to be able to feed her, shadows creep into the room. Then through the darkness, Ivan sees little flashes of light coming from the baby.
Fuck. This tiny child can summon shadows and light.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 11/?
Fandom: Shadow and Bone (TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky, The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, Nikolai Lantsov/Alina Starkov, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik
Additional Tags: Shadow and Bone (TV) Season 3, Or What It Would Have Been, Post TV Canon, Obligatory Fuck You Netflix, Ice Court Heist (Six of Crows), The Darkling Is Dead But Doesn't Let That Stop Him, Future Fic, Mad Queen Alina, Lots of Fivan Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Crows Shenanigans
Series: Part 2 of Shadow and Bone Seasons 2 & 3
Sequel to we could stay like this forever [lost in wonderland].
Notes: This is absolutely 1000% for @mykingdomcomeundone, who is the one (1) person still reading this fic and for that, I love her. Also for @silverbirching, as we have headcanoned certain developments in chapter 10 for literal years. Also because if I got to write chapter 10, I could finally write chapter 11, which is basically the entire reason I started this fic 84 years ago. REASONS.
Chapters: 9/?
Fandom: Shadow and Bone (TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky, The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, Nikolai Lantsov/Alina Starkov, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik
Characters: Ivan (The Grisha Trilogy), Fedyor Kaminsky, Alina Starkov, The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova, Nikolai Lantsov, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Inej Ghafa, Zoya Nazyalensky, Genya Safin, Jan Van Eck, Jarl Brum, Mei Kir-Azaan (Original Character)
Series: Part 2 of Shadow and Bone Seasons 2 & 3
NOTE: If you want to catch up on this from the beginning, chapter 1 is here. It’s also the sequel to my Shadow and Bone season 2 Fivan fic, if you want to go all the way back to the beginning.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 12/?
Fandom: Shadow and Bone (TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky, The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, Nikolai Lantsov/Alina Starkov, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik
Characters: Ivan (The Grisha Trilogy), Fedyor Kaminsky, Alina Starkov, The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova, Nikolai Lantsov, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Inej Ghafa, Zoya Nazyalensky, Genya Safin, Jan Van Eck, Jarl Brum, Mei Kir-Azaan (Original Character)
Series: Part 2 of Shadow and Bone Seasons 2 & 3
Sequel to we could stay like this forever [lost in wonderland].
Once again, this is for @mykingdomcomeundone, for reasons.
Completely shocking, out-of-the-blue prompt that I've never mentioned to you before, definitely not inspired by work:
Ivan is a grumpy librarian/archivist, and Fedyor is a researcher who comes by looking for information on Darklina and/or their connection to Nikolai, and he finds the background of a love story. Obviously, the main character is Ivan's Disgust at the Perception of Heterosexuality
The light in the windowless back office is dim, grainy, and often gives Ivan a headache within the first few hours of him getting to work, which is not ideal for improving his temper. (Then again, not much is.) And despite its flaws, he does vastly prefer it to actually having to interact with the library patrons, as there is literally nothing worse than that. Especially academics, who come in with their laundry lists and their obscure texts, their pet projects and their insistence that if he just looks harder, he's sure to find it this time. Ivan has entertained many, many happy visions of just walking out, locking the doors behind him, and setting the whole thing on fire. Not that he has done that, and he probably -- probably -- wouldn't. He needs this job. Employment for a notorious ex-special ops soldier is thin on the ground as it is, and especially when it means he can, if he plays his cards right, spend most of the day completely alone. But still.
It is now, however, winter break at Os Alta Imperial State University, which means the throngs of panicked students trying to finish their last-minute assignment have mercifully receded, and Ivan can mostly organize his boxes in peace. Or so he thinks, until the accursed tinkle of the Please Ring for Service bell summons him like a wrathful specter, sweater-clad and glowering, to the front desk. "What?!"
"Uh. Good morning to you too." The newcomer -- young, dark-haired, and holding a large manila folder which portends absolutely nothing good, raises both eyebrows. "Can I speak to the archivist?"
"You're speaking to him," Ivan growls. This welcome has caused more than one quaking undergraduate to flee in abject terror rather than ask for even one book, and he fondly hopes for a similar effect this time. But the newcomer -- too old for an undergrad, so probably an advanced doctoral candidate or junior lecturer -- is made of stronger stuff, and doesn't flinch. "Can I help you, Mr... ?"
"Doctor," the annoyingly handsome interloper (not that Ivan has noticed) informs him. "Dr. Fedyor Kaminsky. I'm the new lecturer in the history department, Modern Ravkan History, and I was hoping that you could retrieve a few records for me? Boxes..." He consults his notes. Ivan contemplates murder. "T-1343 and T-1345 especially?"
Oh, great. Not again. Kaminsky -- yes, he vaguely recalls that name, from a department telegram welcoming the new faculty and staff, but it is absolutely not germane to Ivan's further actions in any part. He knows what is in those boxes, and someone always thinks they'll find something there that hasn't already been found, removed, and/or heavily censored. Ravka's last tsar and tsaritsa, Nikolai Lantsov and his half-Shu queen, Alina Starkov, are a figure of fascination and mystery for plenty of people, even after the revolution and the establishment of the Konsilium and everything that befell them as a result. Especially their relationship with the so-called Darkling, Aleksander Morozova, one of the most enigmatic and controversial figures in all of Ravkan history. Doctor Fedyor Kaminsky thinks he's going to jump into his new job with that? Good luck.
"We don't have those boxes," Ivan says, which is almost true. The Konsilium strongly prefers, in general, that people don't look at them, and any other uncomfortable bits of their history. "Go away."
Fedyor Kaminsky folds his arms. "No."
Saints, Ivan thinks sourly. What has he done to deserve this purgatory? (The Konsilium has also tried to outlaw the Ravkan Faith, since they're all supposed to be modern and secular now and because nobody wants another Apparat, but old habits are hard to break.) He stares at Fedyor, who stares back. This is confounding. Why hasn't he run away in terror yet? Everyone else does.
"Sorry," Ivan says, and turns away. "Can't help. Good day."
Naturally, Fedyor Kaminsky does not take the hint. He's back again the next day, still politely and stubbornly repeating his request for those boxes, and when Ivan loathingly suggests that the library is on winter-break hours and does not have to accommodate him at all, cheerily asks if Ivan's boss, the director of special collections, would agree. The threat of workplace discipline (or Saints forbid, a note in his permanent file) is stiff enough to make Ivan finally, furiously recant. Fine. If Kaminsky wants to get himself fired before even finishing his first year, it's nothing to Ivan. Might be a perk.
So, when they're into the second week of the requests, Ivan gives in, stomps to the back, and angrily hauls down the boxes, which are gathering dust from all the times he has, according to the rules, refused access to them before. It's not wise for Fedyor to look at these materials in the open, so Ivan tells him to take them to one of the backside reading rooms -- which is right across from Ivan's office, and makes him grimly reflect that he should have planned it better. But Fedyor works steadily and mostly silently, which is always a commendation in Ivan's book, and finally, on one dead-silent freezing morning right after the Winter Fete, when they are literally the only two people in the library and probably all of campus, he gives in. "What are you looking for?"
Fedyor jumps, glancing up in patent surprise. They eye each other for a long moment, as if to be sure that Ivan Sakharov actually did, entirely of his own volition, initiate a conversation with another human being. Then finally, warily, he says, "What's it to you?"
Good, Ivan thinks. Good instincts, just in case I was in fact an informer for the Konsilium. "I don't care," he says aloud. "I was just curious. They seemed so important to you."
"I'm just working on something," Fedyor says, after a long pause. "Confirming a hypothesis. It'll probably get me into trouble, but -- " He shrugs, with no small amount of bitterness. "I'm used to that."
Ivan thinks about it. This can't go anywhere good, but they've been made a strange sort of partners in this buried secret, and he's almost gotten used to Fedyor working away outside his door. "What?"
"I think they were lovers," Fedyor says, after a final, reluctant moment. "Alina and the Darkling, that is, and then also Alina and Nikolai, and maybe all three of them together. I think it's a love story. And as for why this matters, well -- it wouldn't change anything about our own history right now, how it all ended. But the narrative has always been that the Darkling was this awful monster who had to be destroyed, and the Grisha were his secret shock troops determined to overthrow the country on his behalf, and that pulled Alina and Nikolai into some regrettable circumstance they couldn't control and that led to their tragic downfall -- you know. It's just..."
"What?"
"I don't think it's true." Fedyor shrugs again. "I think everything we know about our own past, about the fall of the Imperial House of Lantsov, and about the Grisha, is a lie. And if that's the case, then the Konsilium knows it, or has covered it up, and that means -- "
"Shut up," Ivan interrupts roughly. "Saints. Don't talk like that. Someone could hear you."
"You could hear me." Fedyor smiles a little, a shadowed eclipse, and it does something very strange to Ivan's innards. "Does that matter?"
"I... " Ivan's mouth is dry. He can't look away. Not for any reason that means anything. "Never mind," he says, which seems the best and safest option, if it isn't already far too late. "Go back to work."
Fedyor eyes him a moment longer, then nods, a deliberate motion indicating that he knows and understands Ivan is choosing to keep his secret. Ivan himself doesn't know why, or what it is about Doctor Kaminsky, the feckless and foolish and fearless, that's gotten under his skin. It could be -- but no, it's not, it can't be that. From time to time, the very brave or very stupid actually think that Ivan himself is good-looking and try to flirt, and once a woman actually asked him on a date, which was the worst moment of his entire life (does he look like a heterosexual?!?!) But it's just shallow, surface-level, not like they're seeing him. Not like they know what monstrosity lies beneath. I think it's a love story. As if love matters. As if love, and the simple truth of it, can change the course of history.
Ivan shudders, once and then again. He looks at Fedyor for a very long moment, allowing himself -- just for that short and fleeting instant -- to imagine something he can never, never have. He grieves for it as if it was real, and then he lets it go. Turns, and walks away.
Chapters: 4/?
Fandom: Shadow and Bone (TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky, The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, Nikolai Lantsov/Alina Starkov, Matthias Helvar/Nina Zenik
Characters: Ivan (The Grisha Trilogy), Fedyor Kaminsky, Alina Starkov, The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova, Nikolai Lantsov, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Inej Ghafa, Zoya Nazyalensky, Genya Safin, Jan Van Eck, Jarl Brum, Mei Kir-Azaan (Original Character)
Additional Tags: Shadow and Bone (TV) Season 3, Or What It Would Have Been, Post TV Canon, Obligatory Fuck You Netflix, Ice Court Heist (Six of Crows), The Darkling Is Dead But Doesn't Let That Stop Him, Future Fic, Mad Queen Alina, Lots of Fivan Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Crows Shenanigans, You Know All That Good Stuff
Series: Part 2 of Shadow and Bone Seasons 2 & 3
Summary: Mei hesitates a final moment. She doesn’t know how this request will be taken, but has to work with what she has. “Their names are Ivan Sakharov and Fedyor Kaminsky, Your Majesty. They are both Heartrenders, well known to you and the entire Grisha order. We traveled together for a time, from Ahmrat Jen to Ketterdam, and then were separated in the course of several misadventures. But we were pursuing a deadly weapon, the one that was used against you at your own coronation. It is called jurda parem. If you help me find Ivan and Fedyor, I will tell you what I know about it.”
There is a very long pause. Alina’s eyes remain that same unsettling, hungry black, until she looks up. “Indeed, Mei Kir-Azaan,” she says, and smiles. “I would very much like to take that bargain.”
Sequel to we could stay like this forever [lost in wonderland].
