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They should invent a way of writing were you start already in the zone, and there’s not this weird buffer period where you’re just consciously putting words together and it’s a little too quiet for your brain’s attention span

#writing #fanfic #i suck at writing #writing tips #adhd #stay focused #writing is hard #focusing is hard #I tend to write the way I read which is like there’s a little movie happening in my brain and I’m not really conscious of the physical #but that buffer period is so annoying because it’s like my brain is craving more stimulation #but if I give it any more than I can’t focus on writing uuuggghhh

can someone please take me back to the time when it was easier to be the gifted child without effort? the time when i made insignificant mistakes on papers that didn't tank my entire result, just took me away from first place? when i wasn't so overwhelmed by the amount of focusing everything requires now? when i wasn't throwing up from the anxiety of having a mechanics paper the next day that i know every concept on, but make random calculation errors on anyway because focusing is just that much harder? when i wasn't coping with shit in such unacceptable and illogical ways?

#neurodivergent #anxiety #adhd #adhd problems #inattention #adhd hyperactive #mental health #stemblr #stem student #stem is hard #focusing is hard #gifted kid burnout #this is me trying #gifted kid syndrome #school #college #chaotic academia #unhealthy coping mechanisms #mental illness

doodled a bit tonight for the first time in.. I think in two weeks? and it was Nice to draw felt good felt relaxing, but also kinda bitter because I felt soooo rusty, and it sucks to always be in a cycle of learning and re-learning shapes because I simply can't afford the space to draw everyday or at least every other day or something Not only does it stifle improvement it really fucks with your confidence.... cause when you have such little time to work with already you can't really always afford the time to shake of the Crust of Time and do a warm up so sitting down to draw is a Harrowing coin toss of; "will this be fine or am I about to have a fucking breakdown" and that really just sucks all the life out of the thing you hold closest to your heart which like... cool alright yeah chill absolutely Love that.

#monster noises #it makes the already tremendous task of Starting even more of a hurdle #because getting in the zone is Hard #focusing is Hard #but overcoming fear and trusting I can just slide in and do what I need to do it Paralyzing #I feel so fucking Slow #it takes so much to get the ball rolling and then it takes me so long to get anywhere #I feel like everyone else is faster than me #and I know that's stupid and kinda fake #but it's like.. in so many aspects of my life even compared to other people with the same problems I seem to..#not necessarily struggle Worse I guess #but yeah struggle worse #or rather am unable to hurdle myself over the struggle and instead spend all my time and energy trudging through it #so like maybe every other artist will spend like.. an hour redrawing a nose because you Hand just won't make the Shape #but to my perception everyone else can Think their way out of that problem in a way I can't #so They can finish something in a week that will take me a month #and I've been drawing for so long #just in terms of lifespan #that I feel Embarrassed about how long it takes me #inability to find time aside #because if I could guarantee I'd finish something in a Week; At Most?#I wouldn't mind as much that those weeks are kinda rare #cause then I would Have something #but I'm always just inchworming along #taking half a year to fucking finish something like a fool that shouldn't take me that long at all #I don't even know what would help #meds? maybe?#this is going to be incomprehensible #but I feel like there's just not enough Brain in my Brain to be able to mend this kind of issue #like I can think but I can't Really think

But focusing is haaaarrrdddd

#💟#Digital art #Art #Edgar #Scriabin #In which I am Scriabin because I have been trying to stream for something close to a week now #Focusing is hard #Decided to see what kind of art day it is by doing a warmup and turns out it's a lining kind of day! That works out great for me #I have so~ome sketching to do but I'll hopefully be fully warmed up by then #Nny should be there at some point too - tho I might take a break between projects and take a small request or two #Debating changing the caption when the stream's done but it /would/ link to the eventual video in case you can't make it hmmmm #Well whatever that's for later ♪#Update: Stream's all done! Thanks everyone for coming ♥ It was fun to see y'all #Also for the two reqs - please feel free to message me so I can tag you when I post them haha #I can't believe it was a 6 hour stream ugh lol - I used to stream for about that long years ago but I've gotten noticeably older since then #Every stretch prompted a pop lol #Anyway you can still watch the playback in my Livestreams playlist ♥ Thanks again

ADHD FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!!

IM SEETHING. ABSOLUTELY FERAL. I HAD TWO (2) HOURS TO COMPLETE 48 SIMPLE ECUATIONS.

I. FINISHED. T W O. FUCKING TWO?????)(/)(&%&¤e3687#/6/¤#64&/#¤ LITERALLY WTF AND IM SUPPOSED TO GET MY GRADES UP AND JUST NOT END UP HOMELESS, THIS YEAR IS SUPER IMPORTANT AND IM JUST NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE THAN JUST SIT AND GOOF AROUND WHY CANT I FOCUS FUCK FUCK FCUKF CUKF FUCK

#adhd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #focusing is hard #math sucks #fuck #go back i want to be monke

I usually like to take doodle prompts for my birthday, but I am actually putting serious effort into working on my book, so I haven’t really been focusing on fandom things lately...

I would still love to get some!! But!! I will probably be slow to get them done. :)

#rambles #lol #remember when i said i was going to get the first draft donw by the end of the year?#and now it's august #and i don't even have 20 pages #FOCUSING IS HARD #but things are moving #at last #so i will take it

exactly fifteen minutes into the movie, we see judy making the facial expression i have exactly fifteen minutes into any sustained activity

#zootopia #judy hopps #animation frames #frame #focusing is hard

me: i wanna paint something

also me: you gotta make something to paint first

me: ew gross

also also me: you have work??????? go do that???????

#focusing is Hard #tick talk

#focusing is hard

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