Me trying to focus on one single thing while my ADHD is all over the place:
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Me trying to focus on one single thing while my ADHD is all over the place:
12.05.2020
spent the morning shopping for essentials —this little violet is happened to be most esstial of all– and working on my memory, nationalism & commemoration essay.
i reblogged this post about junebugging and ADHD earlier and mentioned that while it was hard to imagine changing my cleaning habits after so many years, i thought the idea was great.
then i went back to planning my writing in the coming year, and i decided to structure my work differently. instead of setting a daily page/word requirement, or picking one project i need to finish before i allow myself to work on anything else, i’m setting a time goal. for a certain amount of time each day, i’m going to be working on my novels.
i’ll start with the one that’s nearly done, but i’ll also allow myself to work on it however i need to. if i can’t focus on a reread, i’ll listen to music that reminds me of the world i’m building. if editing is driving me up a wall, i’ll switch to character sketches or fancasting. if i’m struggling too much with that story, i’ll move to one of my others. after all, every one of them needs improvement, so the specific order i do the work in matters less than putting in the time.
and it wasn’t until today that i realized i had decided to try junebugging after all--i just found a way to apply it to my writing instead.
that mental pin that i could be sticking in a cleaning spot? i’m sticking it in my first novel, and telling myself i have to keep coming back there for the next two hours...but it’s okay if i wander away from the things i know need to get done the most, as long as i keep coming back.
i’m not setting limits for how long finishing an edit or a draft should take, and i’m going to let myself explore the story with pictures and music and whatever else occurs to me. if i manage to stay in my novel world for the whole two hours, that will be an amazing success for my ADHD brain all by itself.
and if the next day i want to open up a different draft and work on that one, that’s okay too, because i’ll still be working on my writing, and i’ll go back to the pin i stuck in my first book as soon as i’m ready.
so, happy 2019 everybody. sometimes helpful ideas don’t seem quite right for you no matter how great they are...and then they evolve into a perfect fit.
Letters and colors drift through my head, before I can grasp them they're already dead. Can I focus on what is not even there? Words do not describe and colors do not move. For if only I could write it or color it for you.
Can’t I not focus on what there is?
ADHD Frustration of the day
After a certain point in the day, usually when it starts getting dark, my brain just gives up and says, “Nope! Not doing anymore work today! Internet forever!”
The recent time change is absolutely no help.
I just feel like I cannot focus on anything. I want to do the readings I have to do but... it’s impossible. I feel like I’m drowning and I cannot get anything accomplished.
I just want to scream.