#for d

[kiisuuumii]

[bea-lele-carmen]

[heleizition]

god the 'birds fly in every direction' fic made me internally sob. I had to put my phone down multiple times because it was THAT good, so thank you so much for sharing it! also the fanart you did of tim and dick?? it looks so familiar I swear I saw it in a dream or something :0 very lovely as always though

I KNOOOW FUCK ITS SO GOOD i love it so so so much im glad u enjoyed it !!!!!!!!!!!!! 

aND AAaa TY ?? i jst. its how i pictured the scene immediately !!! its how it stuck !!!!!!!! aaAAA i actually had different visions of it like i jst rly love that scen e. .. i wanna do more scenes ... lik e ... what happens at the museum if u know what i mean : )

[we-pay-for-everything]

On the Role of Dreams in the Buffyverse

Dreams are arguably the most private, enduring and universal kind of human propriety. No matter how hard we try to conceal our real desires, they always manifest themselves in the shape of dreams. Even if we refuse to dream, our true wishes are reflected in those we admire or envy, in our deepest or in our most indulgent fantasies, in our nightmares, in our regrets. 

In a society that allows only for the profitable and for the “realistic”, dreams are, at most, fantasies. And in a world created by the most prolific type of dreamer - the artist - dreams are strangely absent. 

In the Buffyverse, dreams aren’t something the characters grow up with. To be sure, dreams can change or take form later in life, but they are a common byproduct of our childhood or adolescence. Our preferences, our strengths, our weaknesses, and our environment determine the shape our dreams take. 

Buffy’s dream, which was simultaneously her biggest strength and her biggest weakness, was born out of necessity. She became a slayer, so preserving her humanity and protecting her girlhood became her dream. Saving the world was always a duty, a burden, an imperative. It never brought her real happiness or fulfillment. In fact, to Whedon and co., being a hero meant sacrifice, and dreams, or rather desires and impulses, were roadblocks to overcome. 

Likewise, until becoming a vampire Angel had no dreams. As Liam, he was the embodiment of Buffy’s “carpe diem” philosophy, and as Angelus he took that philosophy to the next level. Becoming human was a dream created by the Shanshu prophecy and Angel’s hatred towards vampires. Being a champion was the source of Angel’s honor and fulfillment, his genuine desire. In his new life he found happiness, though not without sacrifice.

The main difference between Buffy and Angel has always been that Buffy never wanted to become a Slayer but Angel chose to become a champion; Buffy’s life was stolen and Angel’s life was gifted to him. (In the same vein, Connor was both a gift and a test to Angel while Dawn was only a burden to Buffy at first.) This distinction is unsurprising. Men deny women their agency all the time. 

This isn’t to say that Angel was a better person than Buffy - not at all. But Buffy lost herself and became colder and sadder as BtVS progressed, while Angel discovered his true purpose, made friends and had a son on AtS. 

But I’m digressing. You can’t actually say that dreams and the pursuit of them are a topic the Buffyverse tackles - which is precisely what limits it as a “coming of age” story. The characters in the Buffyverse have, in theory, every choice in the world to make, but they never even take a look around. Sunnydale is just a small town, but ATS’s L.A is pretty small too. 

In the Buffyverse everything is decided: by the supernatural, by circumstances, or by luck. There are choices the characters make, often heroic ones, but their options are limited. On the one hand, we box ourselves in all the time. We make few choices and take few risks; so the Buffyverse is realistic in that way. On the other hand, as teenagers and young adults we are confronted with a very big world, and its infinite possibilities, which makes us feel small, overwhelmed, lost, out of options. 

Buffy had no choice but to be a slayer. It was that or death. Angel had a choice between doing nothing til he died or becoming a champion. And every other character on the show made similar choices. The Buffyverse is about defeating fear and indifference, fighting for yourself and for what’s truly important (friends, family, love, humanity). More than being a coming of age story, it encourages you to care and to fight for yourself. It’s a story for those coming of age who are already burned out. Choosing a career, randomly meeting people, falling in love, finding hobbies, having fun, feeling lost (not because of depression) - those are real coming of age issues and stories that the Buffyverse doesn’t tackle. 

Dreams, essentially, don’t belong in the Buffyverse. 

(A/N: I wrote this because it’s @missusgordo‘s birthday, but I also wanted to write something that reflected myself right now. Like I’ve explained, I’m slowly outgrowing the “burned out” phase of my life, and find myself growing distant from the Buffyverse. I wanted to explain why I’m not very active anymore. I still love the universe though! I just can’t seem to write about it these days. Hope you actually enjoy this D! Sorry!) 

[reachthezeneth]

Pride!AU : autumn

Their first kiss doesn't cause fireworks or loud celebrations. It happens on one of the nights they sneak off with Gianni's blanket, laying on it in the backyard, weed in hand. Lando's never heard of shotgunning and Max giggles, with a "I'll show you".

When they kiss, it makes perfect sense. It's like breathing, Lando thinks. Like he can do it for the rest of his life.

[mywhitelies]

Almost cried myself numb tonight. And then he called, and I literally feel like a breath of fresh air has come back in me.

He’s good, I think. Like genuine good. It intimidates me.

Honestly, I’m not okay, but I’m doing better. And I’ll get there. It’s not as easy as I thought it’d be. But I’ll get there.

It is refreshing to have something nice. To hold on to.

[absolvam]

write the softest words and kiss them that I may at least touch my lips where yours have been

John Keats, Bright Star: Love Letters and Poems of John Keats to Fanny Brawne