spoilers for NCIS: Hawai'i 2x15 (aired February 27, 2023)
Kate has had this dream. The one where she’s laying in bed and she can feel the sun creeping its way into the sky by the warmth that seeps through her light blanket somewhere around her knees before it moves higher, over her hips and navel and to the hollow of her throat. And then - a bed-warm hand that starts somewhere around her wrist, over the quickening pulse of nerves, that moves to the crook of her elbow and curls there. She feels fingernails scratching at the bone, and the gentle but insistent question: are you awake? In her dream, she smiles into the pillow under her cheek and grumbles out a harmless no. In her dream, a laugh reaches her ears - soft and like a song she’s heard before but never really stopped to appreciate until it was a sound just for her. In her dream, she rolls and feels the warm press of a body against hers, feels that laugh in her bones now instead of her ears.
In her dream, Lucy whispers good morning and Kate thinks, each day, yes. Yes, this is a good morning.
She’s had this dream every night since Lucy left. When she wakes up alone, curled into one side of the bed around a space where Lucy would be, everything is bittersweet. She’s happy that Lucy is stepping into who she wants to be; happy that Lucy is conquering her fears and thinking about her future. She’s sad that it means Lucy is somewhere else; sad that Lucy is so far away, that she’s not just on the other side of that pillow rise, eyes already open and smiling back at her.
A finger brushes over her brow. “Good morning,” dream-Lucy says.
Kate says what she always does. “It will be when you’re here.”
There’s a soft chuckle, more of an exhale than a noise. “And if I’m already here? What kind of upgrade is that?”
Kate’s eyes open and she blinks as Lucy - real and living and breathing and fingers slowly threading into her pajama top Lucy - comes into focus. Her smile is crooked, amused, and her eyes sparkle as she waits for an answer Kate can’t quite pull out of her mouth.
“I think it’s be a great morning, at least,” Lucy finally finishes. “Blink twice if you agree.”
Kate blinks three times and Lucy laughs, so loud and so bright and so perfect that Kate feels her lungs expand with the sound.
“You’re here.”
Lucy winds her fingers a little deeper into the fabric of Kate’s shirt, sliding closer instead of pulling. “I’m here. And I forgot how great here is. Soft blankets, firm pillows, a comfortable mattress.” Another inch closer. “The love of my life right next to me.”
It still does something to her, every time Lucy says the word love. She still can’t believe it. She, Kate Whistler, gets to be loved by Lucy Tara - out loud, for everyone to see. No more secrets, no more sneaking around. She carries it around like a badge she can’t help but show off. Look at me. Look what I’ve become with all this love.
“You’re really here?” She can’t help but ask again. She’s had this dream. And each time she’s woken up alone in a bed that never felt too big before now, in an apartment she never saw herself sharing with anyone.
Lucy must know. Lucy always knows. For all the ways Kate has tightened up her corners and pressed down on the parts of herself she didn’t want anyone to see, Lucy has always been able to get her to unfold and expand, to let herself grow instead of shrink down.
So Lucy doesn’t tease her. She doesn’t laugh or roll her eyes at what she’s sure is a stretch of fear in her voice. Lucy runs her finger across her brow instead, lets it follow a path down the slope of her nose and off the end of it, the pad of her thumb brushing against Kate’s bottom lip.
“I’m here,” she says, voice steady and sure. “And here is where I’m going to stay.”
Kate has had this dream before but all of it pales in comparison to the way Lucy closes the final inches between them and kisses her good morning like the last 4 months have just been a series of moments, of dreams, leading up to this one right here. This one that is real.
Kay had no right to kill me with their guarding angel Falling but they did, so this is my REVENGE
Thanks for sharing your beautiful writing with us <3 @fuxdeiflswued
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( Now, to be very to the point, my university tests start in about two weeks and because I run this blog as sort of a portifolio, I often hesitate to put my doodles and sketches here.
Because of all that, my posts are probably gonna be fewer and fewer from now on. I talk a lot on twitter and discord though, if you want to see these doodles I talk about! )
My lovely partner asked me to make a Tumblr post about faer genders so here it is.
Trickstergender - A gender that is masculine in nature but by no means male. It is green and navy in color, mischievous, and disguises itself as other genders.
Flag:
Feegender - A gender that is feminine in nature but not at all female. It is pink and purple in color, mischievous, and hard to catch/discover. Name comes from the German word for fairy.
Flag:
Tricksterfee - a combination of the trickstergender and feegender genders.
KAY MY LOVE i don’t even know where to start ?? i guess with the fact that i’m so glad you dmed me that one time to scream about mutants as a Concept even before it was a whole ass group ( that you’ve let me app to ?? four times ?? ) 🥺🥺 you’re one of the most patient, understanding, and genuinely warm people i’ve had the pleasure of interacting with let alone being able to call such a close friend. no matter what you say abt yourself you ARE an amazing friend, a spectacular writer, and someone who makes other people better just by being around and interacting with them. you’re such a genuine light in my life i don’t know what i would do without it
