#for lenne

[tehtinychatartists]

[j0nawithazero]

Stationary

People constantly talk to me about all their dreams and ambitions, recalling all their successful attempts to move forward with life and fulfill their goals. I sit here in my boxers remembering what they said all the while looking at the empty cereal bowl next to my laptop. As if life was a freeway and people were cars, I am the one sad vehicle off on the sidelines with a flat tire, perspiring in the heat of people's racing ambitions and fast moving lifestyles. I'm burnt out and worn down, with the mileage on my mind having run its course way too many times as I've lapped the same hopeless [at this point I feel] dreams all my life but never took the time to strap myself in and gas it on my own. I've raced toward the thoughts of my greatest desires yet am still stuck at the starting line attempting to define what course I'm going to be going down. Or maybe it's not that I'm stationary, but that everyone is going so fast toward the finish line that by comparison my existence seems to be just another one in that: an existence. Not a presence nor an important factor, but someone that's just there. Life takes notice of people who are moving, and for someone stationary like me, I'm currently just faded out from the norm. I need to start moving.