today i’m posting something i guess, been wanting to try doing things again
when i see everyone’s screens, i wonder how they see when they’re gone
i worry about them, but i don’t want to accept that even though my screens are darker, it won’t help when i lose it
i’m never able to say quite what i want to say to others, and trying to be perfect has been nice, but falling short hurts still
i like the dark, and quiet, and being able to think clearly, but all i can think of is those i want to be with when i’m thinking the clearest
the dying by of time feels scary, and i don’t want to stop noticing it, because if i act like everything flying by is normal for me, then the feeling of everything disappearing before my eyes might go faster if i start blinking
i like writing little thoughts in my head, don’t take these as a reason to concern, just writing a little of what i feel like around now
i wish i could focus on others problems without being bothered for being myself. i want to be good, not the center of attention. the caretaker, not the caretaken.
that probably says something about how i fear getting help from others because i’m not supposed to be greedy and accepting even the bare minimum is far too much for me. so, giving everyone else as much as i can has to be the best i can do to make up for taking as much as i have
i like writing sometimes, so i did a couple sillies. have fun!
