I’d NEVER feed my baby formula!
When I was pregnant with my son a plan to breast feed was not a question. Breast was best and it was what I was going to do for my baby. Then baby came, he latched like a pro and the lactation consultant was very happy with the instant success. Every two hours we woke up and baby had no issue with eating. We had a two day stay at the hospital and everything was nearly perfect. We went home and everything was a little stressful and tiring, but over all good. Then our home nurse came for a check up after our first day at home. This is when things got a little scary.
Our perfect baby had lost weight. The nurse watched as I breastfed my son and she said everything looked good and it was most likely my milk coming in slowly that caused the drop in weight. She made suggestions, like skin to skin contact and making sure to drink and eat enough to promote milk production, and we set a revisit for two days later. In the time between the first and second visit there was plenty of water and constant skin to skin. My little man was latching like a pro and eating every 1 1/2- 2 hours. I was very optimistic, everything seemed to be working the way it should. The home nurse came for her second visit and my little boy had lost more weight. He had gone from 3.43 kg (7lbs 9oz) down to 2.95 (6lbs 8oz) kg in 5 days. This is when talk of supplementing formula started.
I was absolutely devastated that we needed to supplement. I felt like I had failed as a mother. I couldn't feed my son, my body was failing me. We started with a small supplement every other feeding but gradually had to increase to supplementing every feeding. It took a month to get my baby back to his birth weight. In that month he had grown to know that a bottle was easy and that breastfeeding took a lot more work. This didn't help my milk come in at all it came to a point where he was a formula fed baby with supplementing breast milk in between. I bought expensive breast pumps, tried different foods, tried lactation teas, and anything else that anyone told me would help with milk production. But as it turns out, breast feeding wasn't in the cards for me and baby.
Privately, I cried a lot and felt alone with my inability to breastfeed. I was devastated. Not being able to breastfeed wasn't something people talked about. Once you go through it though, the people come out of the wood work to tell you "I struggled too". Turns out, my sister-in-law had similar struggles, and my mom had the same issue with my little brother. People coming forward with their confession of struggle helped me feel better about the situation that I was in. It wasn't what I had thought my first time mom experience would be but it wasn't bad by any means.
I'm so happy I had people that were in my corner telling me that I wasn't a failure. But, for every person in my corner, there was an oblivious to the situation judgmental person whose comments kicked me back down. Many outsiders were eager to ask "Are you breastfeeding?" and when we told them we were formula feeding they didn't hesitate to say "I would NEVER feed my baby formula!" Too many people are ready to give their opinion on what is best for your baby, even if they have no idea what your situation is. My husband had this interaction with a co-worker. She didn't hesitate to give her "I would NEVER!" and my husband, being the blunt man that he is, didn't hesitate to reply "Well he was literally starving to death, so we thought it was the best option." A slight exaggeration but I was happy to hear he stood up for our choices and let his co-worker know how insensitive and stupid she was being.
I can't stop anyone from telling you their opinion without knowing your situation, but I can help you know that your choice is not the wrong one. No one knows how to care for your child better than you. You know your child, outsiders don't. Don't let anyone try to tell you your decision is wrong. Breast isn't always best. If it doesn't work for mom or baby, than something else is what is best.
