I’m going to rant now
Sorry in advance, but I have a lot of feelings right now.
I keep hearing the phrase I could never do that. I hear it over and over. My family fosters, and for some reason people think that it is heroic that we do this. They say that we are so brave and good for doing this, that we must be an amazing family. They say they couldn’t love a child and say goodbye.
The truth is we aren’t amazing. Sometimes we aren’t even good. We have days where I look at my family and think why are we adding to our already hard life? But I know that no matter what, no matter how much I’m hurting, these kids deserve better than this. They deserve to have a home that loves them and their families.
I don’t know how you can look at a child who has been taken from everything they know and say, it would be to hard for you. Do you not understand that it is the hardest thing I the world for them? How is it better for them to be placed in a group home, than for you to feels sad when they leave?
I’m not saying it isn’t hard to say goodbye. It’s one of the hardest things in the world. Especially when I sometimes feel like that might not be what’s best for the child, but I also know that I’m not all knowing. There is always more that I don’t see, and I am inherently biased against the families of my foster siblings.
We are taught that if you can’t be the perfect parent, you shouldn’t be one at all, but that isn’t true. No parent is perfect, and we all know it. I have to check in with myself sometimes to make sure that I am fighting for the kids, and not for my own wants. It is so so hard, but I don’t think I could not do it.
I don’t really remember why I started tying anymore, and if you are still reading this I congratulate you. Also if you are by some miracle reading this let me know. Talk to me, I love to hear other perspectives and I would just really like to talk to more people about the broken beauty of foster care.
