[Akuneko Card Story Translations] Fennesz Oswald Fourth Anniversary Card Story “I’ll Definitely be Happy”
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⚠️ I do translations as a hobby so I apologize if there are any grammar mistakes⚠️
‼️Please don’t use my translations for AI, thank you‼️
⚠️Content Warning: Disturbing Dark Subjects such as human trafficking is in this story⚠️
Please proceed if you are alright with the content 🥺
︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶
Fennesz: Among the young butlers, I’m supposed to be the “vice-leader.”
It’s perhaps…I’m the type who’s easy to talk with.
I never said anything harsh to others…
Basically, I don’t say the things the other party doesn’t want to hear.
I’m good at reading the mood around me.
That’s why, I can easily notice those who felt troubled.
And to those people, I would say, “If you are alright with it, you can tell me anything…”
When I said that…I think I’m being quite unfair.
Even though I said…”you can tell me anything.”
I still have a past that I haven’t talk to anyone about.
I know it’s conflicting.
…but I still couldn’t quite say it.
I still don’t hold the courage to face that kind of past…
And even when I say it in my condition like this, others would surely be worried about me.
It might be easier if I talk about it.
But I don’t wish to be.
What I really want isn’t warm or encouraging words…
But reflection and regret.
I can’t forgive myself.
I’ll definitely carry and live this guilt through the rest of my life.
Had I stopped my sister…during that time…
If I had said, “Don’t go”…
And have a stronger opposition…
No matter how poor we’ve became…
There might have been another future that my sister wouldn’t be sacrificed…
…I have a sister who is older than me by three years.
We lost our home to war…
And lived as slaves…our days were hard and painful.
But when I’m together with my sister…
I could withstand anything…
However, during that time…
Our lives were changed completely.
That happened around…
When I was around 10 years old…
Young Fennesz: Big sis, sorry for the wait…!
I got the rations.
Fufu…look at this.
There are two pieces of meat inside this soup!
Our luck today is nice.
Surely, something nice would happen tomorrow, right?
Fennesz’s sister: ……..
Young Fennesz: …big sis?
What’s wrong?
Fennesz’s sister: Ah, um…
Actually just now, the slave merchant people came…
Young Fennesz: the slave merchant…?
What did that person say?
Fennesz’s sister: …that’s…
Um….
…there was a nobleman who…wanted to take me in.
That’s why…
I would be getting out of here soon…
Young Fennesz: Eh…immediately?
B-but…
Wasn’t the slave market opened next week…
Fennesz’s sister: …mhm.
But that nobleman seems to be a great person.
If I was taken in, I wouldn’t be worried about food…
And I heard you could live a good life.
Young Fennesz: …..I-I see…
Fennesz’s sister: Mhm…and also.
“I want to take Fennesz with me too.” I asked them….
…but they said no.
Young Fennesz: ….
Fennesz’s sister: ….but….
Really, I don’t want to be apart from Fennesz…
You are my only living family, after all…
From now on and always…
That’s why, Fennesz.
That’s why if you don’t mind, please run away from here now…
Young Fennesz: W-What are you talking about, big sis!
Weren’t we just talking about something good?
Fennesz’s sister: ….!
Fennesz…
Young Fennesz: And…even though I’ll feel lonely when we’re apart from each other…but please don’t worry about me.
If I were to go anywhere, I could surely live by myself!
…and rather than worrying about me, I’m more worried about big sis.
Your body isn’t strong…
When you’re taken in by the noble’s family…
Even if you get sick, there’ll be medicine for you immediately, right?
…It’s okay to go, big sis.
We can’t refuse what the nobles say, no matter what.
If I try to escape from here…
I’m not sure if I would be able to succeed…
Fennesz’s sister: ….Fennesz….
…That’s true.
I’m sure that’s for the best…
I got it.
If I feel lonely, I’ll also be patient.
…this is the last time we’ll share a meal together, right…
Young Fennesz: Please don’t say that.
If we live, we’ll be able to meet each other any time.
Here, it’s soup.
I’ll give you half of the meat.
Fennesz’s sister: Fufu…
Thank you, Fennesz…
Fennesz: …I really don’t want to be apart…
But for my sister’s sake, I have to hold back.
I don’t want to let my sister experience misfortune because of me.
But….
I….
I didn’t know what my sister was really feeling at the time…
As if I didn’t notice…
I wasn’t able to imagine…what it would be like if “slaves were to get taken in by nobles.”
…my sister must have knew what that meant.
That’s why she didn’t want to go.
But for my sake…
Without telling me the truth, she sacrificed herself…
Instead of protecting my sister…
I drove her to another hell…
…and even so, my sister would send me letters from time to time to encourage me.
“I’m living happily.”
“I want to meet you someday.”
…and when I realized those were just lies to reassure me…
Was when I was in the middle of my twenties…
And finally, was released from being a slave…
And I was given a last letter from my sister…
…at that time, it was the first time…
I knew about my sister’s true suffering…
Sister’s letter: “…I wanted to meet you even for the last time…”
“Please live happily, Fennesz…”
Fennesz: Uh…!
…sobs…big sis….
Sorry….I’m so sorry….
It’s because of me….
Had I stop big sis from that time…
If I had noticed big sis’s suffering much earlier…
…I…really am the biggest idiot.
To protect someone like me…big sis was…
….sobs….sobs…
Fennesz: …when I knew about the truth, I continued to weep, day after day.
I cursed at my shallowness…
And thought I don’t have any value to continue living.
But…
I wasn’t able to throw away my life.
Big sis had protected me…
If I died, her hard work would have been nothing.
That’s why, I couldn’t continue to think like this…
And I had to become stronger.
…however…
Even though I have been training myself…
Another emptiness swarmed in.
“Even when you held strength in your hands, what would you protect?”
I didn’t have someone I wish to protect.
Even if I became stronger, my sister would not return.
At the time I…didn’t have anyone I would risk my life to protect.
It’s true that when I became a devil butler, I have important companions…
But everyone is stronger than I am.
When we needed to fight, I was the one who was being protected more often.
When I look at the companions who were fighting in the frontline, I felt the pain realizing the strength I lack.
Even when I’m not here, everyone would be alright because they are strong.
If I continue to seek for strength that’s above my levels, it’s for nothing.
More like I was an obstacle…
I was thinking like that.
…..
But right now, looking back…
I truly have changed…in these four years.
Of course, I still have troubles about my lack of abilities…
But the feelings of “it’s for nothing” or “let’s give up” are almost gone.
When I met Arujisama, my world has changed.
In the midst of spending time with Arujisama…I have found my purpose of living again.
When we first met, as butlers, you were “someone who must be protected.”
And eventually…you became “someone who I wanted to protect more than anyone else.”
It wasn’t as a butler…
But more about what I personally think, a deeper feeling.
It’s a feeling that’s sort of different from when I was with my sister, which is to protect my family.
I’m not able to explain it, but these feelings that burned deep inside my heart…
Are something that I have never experienced before, and it felt like they were storming a fever to my brain.
When I think about Arujisama, my chest warms.
When I see Arujisama’s smile, my heart dances.
There wasn’t a day I didn’t think about Arujisama…
I never thought I would ever hold such feelings like this in my life.
…these feelings gave me unprecedented strength.
As long as Arujisama is here, I could withstand any severe training.
For Arujisama’s sake, I don’t feel any pain doing any tough training.
More like if I could become stronger through that hard time…
When I think about it, I would feel rather happy about it.
Even though I would still lose confidence when I realize the gap between my companions and me…
But when Arujisama’s face surfaced in my mind…I would continue to work even harder.
These feelings that I didn’t want to give up would surge.
I want to protect that person’s smile…
I want to be that person’s number one.
When I realized there were these types of burning feelings inside of me…I was rather surprised by them.
…my sister told me to “live happily.”
The words in that letter continued to remain inside my heart.
Have I become happy right now?
…perhaps, I think half of it is like that.
But..
If I were to say I’m completely happy, I still couldn’t quite say that.
The guilt I have for my sister hasn’t disappeared…
And these anxious feelings when I compare myself around me are still here.
I’m happy when I’m together with Arujisama…
But it’s not perfect yet.
I want to become stronger.
I want to become someone who’s more useful.
…I wouldn’t think that’s enough.
When I feel satisfied, my growth would stop…
That’s why for the sake to becoming happy…
And also, for the sake of making Arujisama happy…
I have to keep going higher…
…if I stop, I feel like I would immediately go back to my old self.
I don’t want to go back to my helpless self.
If I couldn’t protect those who are important to me, I would hate that.
That’s why right now…
I want to be able to protect my precious one.
Only Arujisama…I’ll definitely…
…please don’t worry about me, big sis.
I’ll definitely be happy.
When that time comes, I’ll report to you with my head high and say,
“I have become happy.”
“I have became a man who can make my precious one happy.”
And surely…
That’s true happiness to me.
The End
