"theyre cousins but thats not really really incest"
I dont at all disagree it's 100% true but thats hilarious phrasing lol
What are your top incest ships though or pairs you think are or arent incest others might not expect?
answering this today cause 1 August 2025 marks the day that you cannot marry your cousin in my country anymore. true end of the habsburg era.
anyway. lol thank you XD having grown up with the knowledge of the technical possibility of being able to marry one of my cousins I never really thought of that as incest (especially because I see my cousins like twice a year so we aren't super close, almost like siblings like a lot of people I know).
anyway. here we go! my top incest and "incest" ships:
WalesEng: I'm not sure I saw this ship anywhere before I talked about it as a side pairing for a ScotEng scenario so it feels like I've been there since the beginning of the ship (though I might not actually have been). I've been into Stridercest ever since I read homestuck and WalesEng has DirkDave energy ❤️
UkUs: "Eww you can't ship england and america they are father and son/brothers!!1!1!" okay fuck you I ship them even if they are related. bitch. America and his overprotective yet emotionally unavailalbe daddy? England and his little brother that is a little too clingy? so many great possibilities! 💚
CanAme: Or AmeCan, but personally I prefer top!Canada for this ship. It's nice when he gets to be the dominant part in this often very unbalanced powerplay of a brotherly relationship. I also love the nyo version of this ship or mixing up the male x fem characters. Or shipping all four of them with each other. 🧡
ScotEng: Let's be real, neon got me into that one and I don't regret it. Though I recently discovered the joy of big brother Scot with his little minx of a sister nyo!Eng and I'm obsessed with that flavour of ScotEng. 🩵
NorIce: I always thought they are cute, but then I read a fic where Denmark, Norway, and Sweden are cousins who are basically a polycule (though Sweden bring in his boyfriend Finland who is on it too hehe) and Iceland as Norway's brother is their cousin too but no (yet) in on their little orgies. but Norway very much ends up fantasising about what if he is. Love big brother Nor. 💜
FraMona: Depends on how you see their relationship if this is proper incest, but I do ship France x Monaco. She's so fun as a character to me and I love seeing a ladylike-seeming girl like her tormenting the hell out of a horny bastard like France. 💛
BritEng: This is extremely niche. I think there are two people out there who ship this and I am one of them - Britannia x England. aka England x his mum. I don't remember if we see Britannia in canon, the ship is based on my friend's OC who you can imagine to look somewhat like Christina Hendrix if that helps. She's a hot milf/cougar who loves boys. And boys love her. Also for additional fun I sometimes throw Wales or Scot into this too. 🩷
I also like some other (potential) incest ships like Itacest, some 1p x 2p ships (like for England or Italy) and then there's also Benelux, FACE, Nordics, UK as a polycule. Possibilties and creativity are endless with so many characters in hetalia and so many ambiguous ways to interpret the relationship between characters!
Fandom: Hetalia - Axis Powers
Pairing: none (past FraMona)
Characters: Monaco, France
Rating: T (for gambling references)
Summary: July 1870: There is a moody France in her casino. Monaco is annoyed. And mildly worried.
Written for @baguettewrites
Also available on my AO3 and fanfiction.net (see the links in my profile).
“Miss Monaco ... please, he is scaring away the other guests!”
The manager was whispering, indicating a familiar young man with tousled, chin-length hair and piercing blue eyes. Angélique sighed. This was going to be complicated. Taking a glass of red wine from the tray of the waiter that just so happened to pass by, she walked over to François and leaned against the table at which was sitting.
Why the hell are you here?
No, that would have been far too impolite. He was a valued customer, after all. One that was prone to leave quite a sum at her casino if she proceeded with enough caution. She settled for a different approach.
“François, my dear,” she began. The words were empty. He wasn’t her dear; not anymore. “What brings you here to me tonight?”
François looked up from the money and the chips he had been placing on the table, announcing another jeu zéro to the croupier. Angélique noticed a white lily at the lapel of his dapper black frock; always the elegant Frenchman, at least for as long as it was convenient to him.
“I was planning to go on holidays on the Côte d’Azur,” he said without introduction. “Turns out I won’t get any holidays anytime soon, so I thought I might as well spend my money here.”
There’s something wrong with your reasoning, she thought.
“Why don’t you just go on holiday later, dear?” she said out loud, taking a sip from her wine.
The ball fell in the tiers du cylindre, right opposite the jeu zéro section of the roulette wheel. The croupier raked the chips François had placed away from him. He didn’t even blink.
“I don’t think I’m going to get another chance for a leave anytime soon,” he said grimly. “There will be war.”
“Oh, darling, you’ve been saying so for four years—”
“So you don’t know yet,” François cut her off. “But you’ll learn about it soon.”
She glared at him. He knew very well how much she hated to be interrupted.
Would you, please, kindly tell me what the hell is going on? Angélique was running out of patience, and quickly. It was always women who got accused of speaking far too much without getting to the point. Unfair. So far, she had perceived that kind of behaviour much more frequently in men.
“There has been a disagreement between our ambassador and the Prussian king,” he said at last.
“Your ambassador,” Angélique couldn’t stop herself from pointing out. She didn’t know if the plural had indicated him and her or simply the French government, but she wasn’t taking any chances. It needed to be absolutely clear that there was no “we” between her and François any longer.
Except for the customs union. And the railway line they shared. But those were good things; good for her economy and good for her casino. Those exceptions were acceptable.
“The Prussians claim our ambassador insulted their king,” he continued, ignoring her interjection. “Actually, it seems more likely to me it was the other way round. Our ambassador simply asked him to withdraw the Hohenzollern candidate for the Spanish throne. The Hohenzollern family has no business in Spain in the first place, so it seems only fair to me to make them promise to withdraw and not to make another claim.”
Angélique raised her eyebrows; just for an unnoticeable millimetre. François had never been good at noticing what others like them would consider acceptable and what was unacceptable to them. Thankfully, the country that had shaped the language of diplomacy like no other had actual diplomats to do the job for him. Who weren’t always successful, as it seemed.
“I am astonished every time I remember Prussia, Spain and you had been friends sometime,” she commented.
I am astonished every time I remember the two of us had been lovers sometime, she thought.
“It was only for a short while,” François pointed out.
“Yes,” she said, sounding a little melancholic. “Only for a short while.” She was thinking about François, not about Prussia or Spain.
It hadn’t been that short, even. But there had to be an end to it, and now that she had finally achieved independence from all of them, there was no way of going back. No protecting powers anymore, she had vowed to herself. Just her, Monaco, standing on her own two feet at last.
“Angé?” François said into her thoughts. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should save my money for a holiday after the war.” He smiled tentatively. “After my victory.”
“That sounds good,” she told him. “I wish you all the best.” Inwardly she frowned. After my victory. That was something she would only say if she was absolutely sure it would happen, and even then she would have seen it as a statement that might conjure bad luck. But if it made him go; if it made the gloomy customer that deterred the others leave...
“Do you really?” There was a melancholy smile on his lips. “I’m sure you wish there wasn’t any war. War is bad for your business.” Angélique thought of her casino and shrugged.
“That’s true,” she admitted. “No need to pretend otherwise.” She made a pause. “But I honestly wish you good luck.”
He hugged her. She was fairly sure it was a spontaneous gesture, but it still felt oddly calculating.
“Thank you,” he said, and she knew the exact moment when the thought to kiss her crossed his mind. His hands on her hips wandered lower, touching the transition from her back to her butt, and he pulled her a little tighter.
“Good luck, François.” She pulled away, feeling a spark of regret. That was what made her cave, just a tiny bit. “Maybe come back later? After your victory.”
“Yes,” he promised. “After my victory.”
Notes:
The title of this fic refers to lyrics of the song Roulette by Bon Jovi (“Roulette you’re goin’ round in a spin / Caught up in a game you can’t win”).
On 13 July 1870, a diplomat informed Otto von Bismarck, then Minister President of Prussia, about a private conversation between the French ambassador Vincent, Count Benedetti and King William I of Prussia in a dispatch from Bad Ems. In this talk, Benedetti had asked William to order the Hohenzollern candidate for the throne of Spain to withdraw and never to renew his candidature. Subsequently, Bismarck issued a press release that made it sound as if Benedetti had insulted the king, first printed in a pro-government newspaper on that same day. In contrast, the sentiment among the French public was that Benedetti’s request had been just, and that the Prussian king had insulted Benedetti. The Ems Dispatch was the immediate cause that sparked the Franco-Prussian War … and led to a temporary closure of the Monte Carlo Casino in Monaco (from 6 September until 1 December 1870).
In 1848, the cities of Menton and Roquebrune declared themselves independent from Monaco and became protectorates of the Savoy Prince. They had demanded less taxation and a constitution that gave more rights to the citizens of Monaco. The two cities were ceded to France after a plebiscite in 1861. Prince Charles III of Monaco recognised this in the Franco-Monégasque Treaty of 2 February 1861 in exchange for full sovereignty: Monaco lost over 80% of its territory, but it was no longer the protectorate of another country. In the years that followed, it experienced an economic boom, especially when Monte Carlo Casino became profitable due to a customs union with France (1865) and the establishment of a railway line with a stop in Monaco (1868).
