#frankie post

[sapphisystem]

headmate intro thing ig. go my me

[frankiesautieblog]

this is a positivity post for everybody who verbal stims!! whether you are verbal or not, if you hum or sing or make words or other sounds, all verbal stims are good!! and i’m proud of you for making them!! doubly so if they are “loud” or “disruptive” or otherwise seen as undesirable. you deserve a place to make all the noise you want!

[sapphisystem]

headmate made us a to-do list we’re so fucked (he’s been nothing but helpful since showing up and is just doing his job)

[frankiesautieblog]

you know what would be cool? high-tech aac. i don’t mean like aac apps, those are great and all, but they seem like they’re quite a few years behind, well, everything else in the app world. it would be cool to have an aac where you can see user-submitted boards so you don’t have to make your own from scratch every time, to be able to share and riff off each other’s boards so it isn’t such a daunting task to create your own or to create one for someone else. just a thought.

[frankiesautieblog]

i think people do not understand, how much EFFORT it takes us people problems with words to write good. i can write normal-sounding essay, letter, email. no one ever knows it took me hours and hours. rewrite every sentence over and over again making words right order, right meaning, right spelling.

easiest way to remember right order- memorize phrase. every phrase memorize, different one remember each time so so hard. (sorry don’t know right way to say this). 

example: phrase “i’m good, how are you?” activate when someone say “how are you?”. memorize this, know its the right thing to say. (this usually for talking out loud, same idea can’t think of example for writing). many people memorize this bit, even non-auties, no language problems. for me? every sentence memorize, or it turns out jumbled and wrong. 

just to think. remember if you see thing written good and nice- you don’t know how much time took someone. don’t know how many times they re write each sentence to get right. 

[frankiesautieblog]

a thing i’ve been thinking. about words and making them.

sometimes my words are good. i got into good good college, got MONEY from college, with my words. got honors with my words.

but. sometimes words are bad. sometimes not speak, sometimes not type. sometimes only say yes or no. sometimes say choppy, words in wrong order or not right. sometimes type like this- not like normal type, simpler, easier, “wrong”.

i choose to still speak when words are wrong, to not edit after words have come back, because to show having bad words does not mean what you say is not important. still deserve listen even when words are bad. especially to friends who words are never good- still deserve communicate without stigma, still deserve help. 

[frankiesautieblog]

WHY MAKE AAC SO HARD. FUCK.

wish had caretaker, someone help me. so so hard. find words, put words with picture, every single card make on own. find right picture, right voice, right spot for word. mess up start over. NOT USER FRIENDLY. 

for reference: using chatterboards, free aac app. no money for fancy app, not able send physical cards/things to mailbox (abusive family thing). know will be better move out next year, get mailbox, maybe money for fancy app (think p2g) and an old ipad (using phone now, very hard to see). meantime... suffer

[frankiesautieblog]

today cry. not know right words exact, try my best. 

wonder if anyone remembers us. when we are gone, who remembers us with no big achievement, no big help to the world. only smiles and make tea and listen. no one remembers this. world not remember this. world sees tragedy, no “full potential”, “broken brain”. world not see we aren’t tragedy, have as much love and care as anybody else.