transmasc! listener x lasko moore
Swimming was always a tough situation for you. You wanted to go to the pool party. It was a way to get to know Lasko’s friends. From which you heard stories about but they were intimidating to even stay in the same vicinity for too long. The looks you got at first led you to think that they all hated you. However it wasn’t until Huxley came along did he pull you into a tight hug that made you question if your ribs were crushed or not. You asked for the bathroom and you were led to a small but cute bathroom. The tile was darker, making it contrast to the off-white paint. It kind of reminded you of coal in a fire.
But the mirror. The mirror was killing you slowly. This would be the first time Lasko saw you without a binder and covering you was just a loose t-shirt to help with the Californian heat. Lasko wasn’t judgemental, he would never be disgusted with you. But the feeling that buries deep inside you, that this was not the body that made you happy was getting to you. If you weren’t happy and confident, what would Lasko think of you then?
You stared down at your chest with a sour face, trying to pull your breasts back to imagine the flat chest you want. The flat chest you deserve. It wasn't cheap, top surgery. It was pricey and insurance barely covered as your company viewed it as a cosmetic. Which was great, really. Like you just wanna take off your boobs for funsies. Right.
You hear laughter outside the door, one that seemed to follow a snort. That was Freelancer. A knock came to the door and Freelancer’s voice was heard,
“You okay? Don’t mean to rush but I do have to take a piss, and I don’t want to use a bush, you know?”
You scramble to put on the shirt and yelp out a sorry. How long have you been contemplating here?
“Shit. Sorry!” You open the door and you become face-to-face with them. A smirk grows on their face as they look down and you feel the embarrassment grow in your cheeks.
“Damn… Didn’t know we got a second hunk in our group. Warn me next time with those guns.” They say, poking your bicep before stepping to the side to enter the bathroom.
As they close the door, you stare down the hallway and wonder what the fuck they just said to you. Muscle wasn’t a thing you had, right? Were they prominent? You didn’t know and it’s not like you could ask for clarification.
You scratch the side of your head, holding your towel close to your chest as you make your way back towards the living room. Everyone seemed to be outside, enjoying the pool and starting on the grill. But you stood there, unable to move your feet just a moment longer. You’ll surely get looks, right? Everyone knows you’re trans, but this just made it obvious and made people question and… It was too much. It was all too much.
You wanted to be okay with everything. Your eyes glance back over at the wall, photos of people seem to be spread around the walls. One of Lasko and the rest of the crew reaches your eyes, his smile never falters. There was that swelling feeling in your chest.
Your hand reaches up and you open the slide door. Walking through with heavy steps you look to see two eyes on you. Damien who was by the grill with a neutral face and Gavin who had a… confused look. He knew, you told the whole crew about this. Why was he all confused? Gavin soon got up from his lawn chair, strutting over with a raised brow,
“I can feel you jumping from your skin…” He muttered close to your ear, and you only narrowed your eyes, trying your best to deflect. His hand went to your shoulder and his arm followed suit, “What you’re doing is nerve racking, but you also look very good. I don’t say that lightly, dear.”
“It’s not-” You begin, but the words fall short as his eyes meet yours. His words were true, he meant it. He nods a bit before pinching the cartilage in your nose.
“Good. Listen to me… and do whatever makes you comfortable. No one here will say anything." He squeezes your shoulder and urges you forward.
The persistent heat beats down on your head and you look down and over at the pool. Lasko floated in a floatie, glancing over that same smile grows on his lips and he flips out of the floatie. Falling into the pool, he rises to the surface and flails around,
"Hey! Look at you!" He shouts out, the two of you meet at the edge of the pool. His hands find their way to try and touch your ankles, to pull you closer.
"Hi." You say, kneeling down and combing his wet hair back, "Is it okay if I join you?"
"Uh– yeah! Yeah. O-Of course!" He drifts back to make some room. You slowly slip into the pool and the first thought you have is cold. Despite the heat, the water was still cold. You shiver but slowly dip your head under to get used to the temp.
His smile is still there as you pull yourself up, “I…I just think you look nice. Good. Hot? Hot. You look hot.”
“Hm… Okay, trying to soften me up?”
“N-No! No. Yes? Kind of? I just–”
You let out a laugh before shaking your head, “I’m teasing, Lasko. But thanks.”
The grill clangs as it closes and Damien walks over with a raised brow, “You guys are adorable but move. I’m jumping in.”
Huxley’s laugh bellows out throughout the space and there was a splash towards his direction, “Yeah! Come on in!”
Water splashes around, your hair getting drenched once more and the only thing you can do was smile. Smile withouth any meaning.
And maybe your mind was rude often, but for once you knew that it was kind because these people were perfect for you. And maybe that was all you needed.
