Fridging a Black Lesbian to motivate her brother
sassypenguine asks:
Hi! I’m writing a fantasy world where all characters are black/poc. The main cast includes 3 siblings + 2 friends.
Youngest Sister finds herself taken by Older Brother (we find out later that she went voluntarily, and at the time Middle Brother + company did not know it was Older Brother who had “taken” her). Middle Brother goes on a quest to get her back, accompanied by Sister’s situationship/girlfriend.
They do finally reach her, but after a fight between the two brothers, she ends up dying. This ultimately sends Middle Brother (main character) into a rage and alters his character forever.
I understand that fridging is a common trope and one I really don’t want to fall into, particularly because we don’t see a whole lot of Sister before she gets taken (at least in my initial draft, this will likely change). That being said, I have considered changing her gender but also don’t want to take away black lesbian representation.
There are other female characters (e.g. mom and a mentor who both play a big role, friend/situationship of Sister, side characters) that do alter the thinking of Middle Brother, but none that have as big an impact as Sister does.
Additionally, I’m aware of the issues revolving around lesbians and the bury your gays trope. I’m less worried about this as there are a number of other queer/gay relationships in the book, though no lesbian relationships as front-facing as Sister and her partner, so perhaps it should be taken into consideration as well.
Is this falling into the fridging trope? Should I make her a man?
Speaking from a Black woman’s perspective, I’m not a fan of this narrative, as is. Additionally, Black women representation is not interchangeable with “other queer/gay relationships” in the story, particularly Black + lesbian characters.
However, I do think it can be improved upon!
Let’s start with the fridging
Fridging treats the woman character as a little more important than an object, she’s a special object, with the sole purpose of motivating a male protagonist. She is killed or harmed in order to do so. Her story arc is put on the shelf, the back burner, if it exists at all.
A comic panel from Green Lantern: a New Dawn, showing him shocked and appalled discovering his dead girlfriend in the refrigerator. -Stuffed into the Fridge - TV Tropes
Intersectionality, representation, and the violence and death we face in stories and reality
Your story has multiple intersections that makes her death something to truly think over and handle intentionally and respectfully, if you still choose to make this character pass away. She is a woman. She is Black woman. She is a Black and lesbian woman.
There are three core identities here whose lives tend to be made expendable in narratives, often killed, for a multitude of unspoken reasons.
For instance, there’s fridging and bury your gays, as you mentioned. Plus, the sacrificial negro, and the conscious or unconscious punishment of these characters for daring to exist.
Then you have our unfortunate reality. Where women are killed at higher rates globally.
“Every 10 minutes, partners and family members killed a woman intentionally in 2024″
Reading:
-United Nations “Why a woman is killed every 10 minutes: global femicide”
Combine that with being Black and lgbt, and the rates of deadly violence grow.
Just this month of posting this (April 2026) I’ve seen an unfortunate number of reports of Black women murdered. So much so, that I had mistakenly thought I was hearing about the same cases in some of the stories I was seeing…until I saw all their beautiful faces, lined up in one post.
Reading: Call It What It Is: Black Femicide
“Key Takeaways:
Black femicide, or the killing of Black women by intimate partners, is rising sharply.
Black women are disproportionately victims, often killed by gun violence.
Deflection and defending these violent crimes as ‘mental health issues’ are hindering addressing a larger community crisis.”
- Call It What It Is: Black Femicide (April 22, 2026)
Your story does not mention exactly how your character dies, but the two brothers fight and she ends up dead. This seems to imply to me she’s some sort of collateral damage of the dealings of men. Just another factor to be aware of.
All this to say; you must choose wisely when deciding to perpetuate this violence in fiction, particularly that which is not meant to be a social commentary, but is just something that “happens.” Because why is that? The implications will be there, and is something readers will recognize, because truly no writing exists in a vacuum and despite what is or isn’t intentioned, the people will notice.
When we pick up books, we want to see ourselves winning. Or at least, surviving long enough to have a meaningful impact, a storyline of our own. A purpose beyond serving to motivate another’s story... Characters who will ultimately carry on without us.
Where representation is limited and full of harmful, unhappy endings already for these characters, adding another tragedy to the bunch, particularly without thoughtful intention, is not something I advocate for here.
Of course tragedy isn’t forbidden, and writers can write what they please, but since you’ve asked for our help… :P i’d say we take another look at this.
“Should I just make her a man?”
Short answer; no, and that won’t fix things.
I’m never a fan of replacing a Character of Color altogether (especially a Woman of Color, as the representation is even more sparse). That is, unless it’s extremely harmful and the author is unwilling to remove the negative representation or compromise.
Making her into a Black man isn’t really improving the situation either. Killing off a Black man, or really any Character of Color, with the intent to snub out their story to motivate others, has its problems.
Other fates and story arc for your Black lesbian character
I’d urge you to explore other ways to motivate the Middle Brother besides killing your only prominent Black lesbian character.
If you choose to keep her alive, here are some ideas, just for your consideration
What if she was…
Only thought to be dead, but survives.
Perhaps separated from the others, making her fate unknown or seem as if death can be the only case?
For example, falling from a cliff or into the supposedly guaranteed-death-place…but somehow surviving or being caught or saved in the nick of time.
If the story is multi-POV…
She could still be a prominent character on her own journey if/until she reunites with the others, while still motivating the brother who thinks she is dead.
This is more a subversion of the trope, without erasing it. In her brother’s mind, she is dead, and it motivates him. The difference is she is not, and her story continues.
Survives, possibly after a betrayal or suffering* that motivates her brother but…
Give her agency. Your character shouldn’t stay in the theoretical fridge, a passive symbol meant to motivate the man with no motivations of her own. No matter what might / might not happen to her that may fuel your character, give her a storyline afterwards. Her own goals. What does she think of being her brother’s motivation? Does she approve of it, challenge it? Give her an opinion on her place even in another's journey that plans to use her as a figurehead, perhaps even a part in it.
*In regards to suffering: do look into tragedy exploitation and our other posts about it. Suffering is human, but it’s an issue when it tends to happen to BIPOC the most, or in particular. Physical and sexual assault is a prominent real life concern for the communities you’re writing about, reality but often sensationalized and overly explicit in story.
As with any of these circumstances, I do hope there is a balance of trauma with some joy, and a somewhat happy ending for your Black, lesbian character!
Note: ask written in consultation with other mods. Black women and/or lesbian and queer followers, please chime in on your thoughts.
~Mod Colette
