#friends tw

[brainmaelstrom]

"Tbh I dont listen to what you say" is a phrase i've actually heard all of my friends say in regards to me talking about my interests

[cat-tastr0phe]

this is a vent since this is a personal blog imma use it as such so feel free to ignore

im gonna keep chanting in my head that its just an oncoming period that’s making my brain be bad

i’m feeling irrelevant and unwanted by people i associate with. not really friends just, acquaintances at this point. and i’m not particularly interesting enough to matter to them. feels like being left behind and regardless of what i do to keep up or matter it won’t be enough

which i shouldn’t expect ppl to want my company, that’s selfish it just. is nice when it happens, i guess. this repeating cycle of having a constant circle of friends to talk to... next to nothing is a lot on my mind. i don’t know how to handle it. i tamper the emotions down the best i can bc its no one’s obligation to be friends with me or want to be friends with me or even want to talk to me after the initial thing we had between us is gone. but god does it make my head attack me

idk. i just don’t feel like i’m good enough to have friends soemtimes and that rly sucks

[uuuuuuumbrella]

nobody:

me:

brain: all of your friends hate you

me: all of them? even the ones that clearly don't?

brain: haha yeah!

me: am i too clingy? too annoying? what's the reason my friends hate me

brain: all of the above, and then some

me: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ohmyoverland]

Please tag your Friends posts someone of us don’t wanna see them thanks

[pro-nightmare]

I saw a reminder that it’s the anniversary of the ´ecole polytechnique massacre and I reflexively screamed and started sobbing and I will never start or finish this final presentation on the almost 100% criminalization of abortion in Ireland. I can’t sleep and I’ve been binge eating and smoking if this is how I cope when my friends lose their loved ones i will absolutely kill myself when my friends die.

[pro-nightmare]

I was thinking about this time i almost had friends in chicago those weeks a couple springs ago when I had started seeing A, but even before that, before we dated we were all friends and then dating meant tighter friends but he went to vietnam and i went back to vince and I was no ones friend until the bike trip and I hoped that would change a lot, finally solid time with people I admired but then I broke my face and felt embarrassed and ashamed and so I didn't get to camp and I didn't get to be their friend. I have a few friends mostly women in chicago that i love dearly and closely but they are scattered and not each other's friends, besides all of this, the closest I got to a real clique was these people that i lost access to mostly when I stopped seeing A and i'm just thinking about the human doors that people open for you and the people who hold you back so you're always leaning against the frame saying you don't have time to come inside. I want access to people and friendships and fucking activity thru people I'm intimate with or I want to give myself access without anyone hanging onto me. i'm feeling lonely and resentful and isolated and like I could be always.

[sadhorseshow]

im writing a story about a yarn store and listening to the Harry Potter soundtrack. this is probably why i dont have that many friends

[paininthejas]

under a cut so u can ignore me

im so scared of myself in terms of friendships. like i made friends (sort of) with 2 ppl from mclean (in the summer, not when i was there this fall) but 1 i really just tumblr stalk and the other im sickeningly in love w but she lives hours away and i maybe sometimes like a facebook post bc she quit tumblr?? then there was mikenna but we rly stopped being as close so now she just feels like this untouchable thing.

so i have no1 and im scared to return 2 school bc i want 2 be validated n just have a grp of friends but im afraid its just going to end up being... me sitting alone in my apartment trying to reach into the social media void but no one even likes me on the internet haha plus im getting so old and useless is the rest of life going to be like this??