Toddler Madness
Chapter Name: Relaxing day? Nope! Part: 1 Pairing: Frostiron Rating: T Summary: Loki wanted to just want to have a nice relaxing day. But, that isn't going to happen when you have 5 adults turned toddlers and a teen turned toddler to look after. At least Tony is helping out!
Find on AO3 and FF.net
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“What happened?”
What's supposed to be a relaxing day for Loki, has turned into one of the Norse God’s nightmares. First was the call from Fury, saying he needed to came to SHIELD immediately. Once he arrived, he found out why. Most of the Avengers had been turned into children. Steve, Natasha, Clint were sitting near a SHIELD agent. All three playing with blocks that's provided for them. Banner is playing with a small toy science kit. And Thor is napping, drooling on Mjolnir. Loki cringed at the amount of drool on the Godly weapon.
“That’s just it, we’re not sure.” A male SHIELD agent replied as he walked through the door, holding some fruit snacks. Most likely for the adults turned children.
“It was Clint’s fault.”
Oh Norms, Loki knew that voice. And knew what is to come. Why him? Why couldn’t he have one day of peace? What did he do to piss the Norms off this time? He didn’t mean it this time. Turning to face the owner of the voice, Loki saw the adult and said kid staring. He knew what is coming next. And there’s nothing he can do to stop it. Why, why him?
“Was not!” The small child shrilled. This only egged the adult on. Loki sighed annoyed. He wondered how and why he began to date, Tony.
“Was too!”
Soon a contest of ‘was not’ and ‘was too’ started. Most agents gave sideways glances but continued their assigned work. Rest of the kids looked on in confusing about why Clint and Tony were arguing. Fury had a stock expression and Loki could feel a headache coming on. Soon Loki has had enough of the petty banter.
“Both of you stop it!” Loki snapped loudly. Clint and Tony stopped immediately. Loki turned his attention to Fury. “What happened?”
Fury’s face reminded stoic, but the director's impressed that Loki got Barton and Stark to shut up so easily. “A package was delivered to the Avengers Tower. Next thing we knew, they’re turned to kids.” The man’s voice was heavy with annoyance. This whole thing is an inconvenience, no one wanted.
“Well, quite a situation you have here, director. How will you fix it.” Loki raised a brow, a hint of amusement in his voice. While he didn’t know the exact reason why Fury had called him, he had to admit, this is a bit amusing.
“A team is analyzing the package. So, for now...the kids need a babysitter.” The director's expression is still stock. The man had one hell of a poker face. But something in his tone and Loki couldn’t figure out what it is.
But a smile pulls on his lips. A babysitter? So, the man needs someone to become the unfortunate victim to babysit these five kids. Loki’s voice is full of amusement as he muses; “Well, good luck in finding one.”
The director’s smile is almost unnerving. Loki is beginning to regret what he said. He gives a glance around the room. No one is looking like they know what is about to happen. They know.
“Oh, I’m looking at him.”
What did he say?
“Pardon?” Loki’s stammers, eyes widening. He’s supposed to be the babysitter?
“I know you’re not deaf.”
Loki felt the corner of his lips twitching. How dare this mortal act like he can order the God of Mischief around like he’s some sort of servant. Did he forget who this mortal is talking too?
The corner of Loki's eye twitched in irritation. “And what makes you think I’ll lend help?”
“Well, Mr. Five dollar ass, SHIELD already knows about your punishment that All-daddy gave you.” Well, that’s great. Of course, SHIELD would have known. Either Odin or Thor had told them. And how rude of this mortal! Addressing Loki is such a manner. “And there’s the fact that a certain spider teen was in the Tower as well.”
What?
A certain spider...Peter? Peter was in the Tower? Peter was in the Tower with this package. Loki felt a sudden anger rise in his being. It wasn’t a secret that Loki had become protective over the Spider boy. Mostly since Loki has been banished to Earth as punishment for what had happened in New York. With limited magic use.
“What happened to Peter?” The growl from Loki’s voice startled everyone into silence. Everyone knew that a raging fire had been lit.
Tony stepped near the God. Hands up in the air in surrender like position. “Whoa, whoa Reindeer Games. Calm down.” The inventor shivered slightly as the God glared at him. Tony why do you have to get yourself into this kind of situations. “No need to start having a tantrum.”
Loki felt his eye twitch again. Really Stark? “I am not going to have a ‘tantrum’ as you put it. I’m highly annoyed.” This being evident in the tone of voice, the God is using. “By the FACT that Peter had been in unnecessary danger!”
If everything wasn’t dead silence before, it is now.
“Well, actually he wasn’t in danger. Nothing gave anyone a reason to feel threatened when the package arrived at Avengers Tower.” A SHIELD agent muttered. Many looked at him like he’s an idiot for speaking. Some even made a motion to keep his mouth shut. Loki growled and Tony stepped closer to the angry God.
“Okay, Okay. I get it, I get it. You're being asked to watch five adults turns toddlers and a teen turned baby. That’s a lot of stress for anyone to handle.” Tony was indeed correct about that. Even someone like Loki—who is good with kids—this is a lot to handle alone.
“Stark will be helping.” Fury’s voice cuts the tension and Loki raises a brow.
Nodding, the inventor confirmed what he heard. “Yes, I’ll be hel—WHAT?!” Spinning his head to Fury, Tony’s eyes widen. When did he agree to babysit?
“How thoughtful for you, Anthony.” Loki snorted at the man. Of course, Tony would be roped into this. It’s surprising how many unwanted things the inventor gets roped into. It’s amusing.
“When did I agree to this?” Tony yelled, waving his arms about.
Loki wanted to roll his eyes. But, he became distracted when an agent walked in with a baby. A babbling baby in spider-man footie pajamas. The God blinked and blinked again. Oh Norms, peter is adorable. Once the baby saw Loki, his chubby arms stuck out and babbled happily. He seems to be very excited to see Loki. Said God opened his arms and the Agent, a male, walked over and placed the babbling babe into them. Loki completely ignored Tony’s and Fury’s arguing. Baby Peter is much more interesting. And adorable!
“Really, Stark?”
The sound of Fury’s annoyed voice drew Loki’s attention back to the men. He didn’t hear most of what the two had said. But, Tony sighed and seemed to give up on what the argument was. Fury looked satisfied. Whatever the argument was, it’s clear that the director won. Peter babbles.
“Well, where did you come from little guy?” Tony turned his attention to the new addition in the God's arms. When the baby spider saw the older man, he babbles and laughs, making grabby hands at Tony. Loki chuckles at the little guy’s determination for wanting the inventor. And was trying to make it known.
“He arrived a few moments ago.” Loki told him as he bounced the happy baby. Peter gurgled and kept his arms out in Tony’s direction. He babbles, but it sounds more annoying? Irradiated? No, Loki is sure that Peter is wanting to be held by Tony and is getting fussy that he isn’t. “He wants you to hold him.”
Tony chuckles and takes the baby from Loki’s arms. Peter lays his head on Tony’s shoulder and gives a noise of contentment. Loki sighed, this baby will be the death of them. If not death, then landing them in the hospital. Cause this baby is too damned cute.
“Now if you can take all these kids to the Tower, that would be great.” Fury grumbled. Without a doubt, the man is annoyed with having these five kids in HQ of SHIELD. This place wasn’t a daycare and Fury will not let it become one. Loki turned his head to Tony as the inventor rolled his eyes. Peter happily drooling on his AC/DC shirt. The kids seemed to be getting a bit rowdy and Thor was now awake. Indeed it was time to get the five kids into a place with more room to accommodate their energy. Especially if Bruce ends up Hulking out. Loki prays that doesn’t happen at all. He doesn’t want to deal with a mini Hulk. An adult Hulk is more than enough, thank you.
“Okay, okay. Come on kids, let’s visit Tony’s Tower.” Loki clapped his hands to get the kids attention. When the five learned that they are going somewhere they all cheered, becoming very giddy. Peter babbled with a bit of Tony’s shirt in his mouth. Loki could see Tony cringing at the drool on his shirt. Time to get Peter a pacifier. Loki felt a tug on his pant leg and looked down to see Steve. “Can we get ice-cream?” The small child asks.
“Ice-cream!!!” Clint screamed in excitement. With this, the rest of the kids chimed in. All wanting ice-cream. Nice one, Clint. Loki thought annoyed. Now the kids are noisy, demanding ice-cream. Soon Loki felt his temper rising. But he didn’t want to yell at the kids. Bruce had come up next to Steve and pulled on his pant leg too. “Please?” a pair of puppy eyes appeared on Bruce’s face. Oh dear.
“No. you all need lunch first. Maybe after, if you are all good.” Steve nodded and kept a hold of Loki’s pant leg, same with Bruce. Both had their thumbs in their mouths. Thor’s holding Mjolnir and standing next to Tony with Clint. Natasha wobbled over to Loki and held up her arms. The trickster lets a hum leave his lips. Oh, what does he have here? A little Russian wanting to be held? How cute.
“Woki up!” The little redhead said bouncing, wanting to be picked up.
“Alright, alright. Come here.” Loki scoops up the Russian toddler. Did Natasha know English when she was a child? At this moment, Loki isn’t going to worry about it. “Happy now?” The redhead nodded.
“So where should we take five kids and a baby for lunch? And no, not McDonald's.” One place tony didn’t feel like going is there. He wanted Shawarma, but with five kids, the inventor didn’t think that is a good idea.
“I agree. What about Wendy’s? We can get the 4 for 4.” Loki patted Natasha’s as he looked at Tony. The god can feel his stomach tightening in hungry.
“That’ll work.”
Then why did Tony have a bad feeling about this?
